Holiday / Kids Dilemma

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  • Mumof3Mumof3 Posts: 4,529
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    I wouldn't go either: I know the kids would be happy staying at their grandparents, but this was supposed to be a week planned for you and your OH as shared time together.

    I'd be really pi**ed off if the roles were reversed, the kids were away as planned, and instead of a week's holiday with my OH, I grafted at work whilst he went off with the lads for a fortnight.
  • Jimmy ConnorsJimmy Connors Posts: 117,532
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    I would go. It's only 7 days (you would not see them for the first week anyway as they'd be away with MIL) so it's only a week really. If needs be you can phone everyday.
  • Neighbours_FanNeighbours_Fan Posts: 7,511
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    You should go. Parents need a break from their kids sometimes. As you said, you are bringing your kdis there later in the year too so they aren't missing out on anyhting.
  • Caramel CrunchCaramel Crunch Posts: 4,744
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    I don't the the kids are the issue.
    The issue is about the OP spending time with her husband.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 9,328
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    I don't the the kids are the issue.
    The issue is about the OP spending time with her husband.

    Was just about to say the same thing.
  • Fred SplungeFred Splunge Posts: 654
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    Seconded.
  • Jimmy ConnorsJimmy Connors Posts: 117,532
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    I don't the the kids are the issue.
    The issue is about the OP spending time with her husband.

    Indeed.

    It's not the OP's fault that her husbands job took off. They had planned to spend the week together, but husband (work) changed the plans.

    OP, just go. :D:)
  • Caramel CrunchCaramel Crunch Posts: 4,744
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    Indeed.

    It's not the OP's fault that her husbands job took off. They had planned to spend the week together, but husband (work) changed the plans.

    OP, just go. :D:)

    But he has got a long weekend off that they could spend together.
    They could go out for dinner when he finishes work & relax together without the family routine.
  • Mumof3Mumof3 Posts: 4,529
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    Seconded.

    Thirded (?) It's not about the kids. And that's the point: it's because it's not about the kids that I would stay to be with OH.
  • Jimmy ConnorsJimmy Connors Posts: 117,532
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    But he has got a long weekend off that they could spend together.
    They could go out for dinner when he finishes work & relax together without the family routine.

    They could do that, but given the choice between being at home (alone) all day waiting for Hubby to come home from work or going to Florida (on a freebie) I am afraid the transatlantic holiday would win. :o:)
  • LaVieEnRoseLaVieEnRose Posts: 12,836
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    I adore small kids in small doses and two weeks with them would quite simply be too much .

    No one's having them for two weeks, it's a week with each granny.
  • ElanorElanor Posts: 13,326
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    I bet the OP spends most of her time doing stuff for her kids and her husband and putting herself last. I think she should definitely take the freebie holiday. And certainly I don't think the kids should have any say in the matter - the parents are in charge. I wouldn't go away personally if my husband was really not keen, but I would also feel a bit miffed if my partner got grumpy with me for wanting to go away. But then I'm quite independant and however much I love my guy, I want some time to myself sometimes.

    As I see it, everyone wins if she goes away - kids get time with granny, grannies get time with kids, husband gets peace and quiet while he's having a busy time at work, wife gets a holiday, wife's friends get her company. Unless you're one of those couples and families who lives in each other's pockets and does every single thing together, it sounds ideal to me. Time away makes you appreciate home and and family more, and especially for kids, it builds confidence and self reliance.
  • Abbasolutely 40Abbasolutely 40 Posts: 15,589
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    No one's having them for two weeks, it's a week with each granny.

    Yes , I see that now ,. But the kids are two weeks away from Mum .
    However I suppose everyone is different .There is no way I would leave three small kids for two weeks , or go to US and leave them .But as I say to each his own .
  • EmilyPEmilyP Posts: 583
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    Yes , I see that now ,. But the kids are two weeks away from Mum .
    However I suppose everyone is different .There is no way I would leave three small kids for two weeks , or go to US and leave them .But as I say to each his own .
    I'm with you and if I even contemplated leaving my children, it would be to have time with my husband alone and even then after 2 nights I would be missing them.

    I would just miss them all too much to go away that long without them.

    OP, I can't get my head round you having 4 weeks over the summer without your children. It would do my head in!
  • ElanorElanor Posts: 13,326
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    EmilyP wrote: »
    I'm with you and if I even contemplated leaving my children, it would be to have time with my husband alone and even then after 2 nights I would be missing them.

    I would just miss them all too much to go away that long without them.

    OP, I can't get my head round you having 4 weeks over the summer without your children. It would do my head in!

    Everyone's different though, aren't they? My parents went away every year without me, and I think we all benefitted from it. I don't remember ever feeling left behind or unloved, and I'm sure they weren't crying themselves to sleep missing me. My parents also always had holidays apart, and both worked away at various times, and they just got on with it and lived their own lives. They didn't love each other or me any less.
  • EmilyPEmilyP Posts: 583
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    Elanor wrote: »
    Everyone's different though, aren't they? My parents went away every year without me, and I think we all benefitted from it. I don't remember ever feeling left behind or unloved, and I'm sure they weren't crying themselves to sleep missing me. My parents also always had holidays apart, and both worked away at various times, and they just got on with it and lived their own lives. They didn't love each other or me any less.

    Yes they are. I'm just saying what my feelings are. I love being with my husband and children and a proper holiday for me would be with them. We all have our own social circles, plus joint ones, so my idea of relaxation is us four on our own spending time with each other without work, school, family, friends etc. However, I would miss them terribly if I went somewhere without them for two weeks. A week even.

    As you say, everyone is different.
  • alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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    EmilyP wrote: »
    Yes they are. I'm just saying what my feelings are. I love being with my husband and children and a proper holiday for me would be with them. We all have our own social circles, plus joint ones, so my idea of relaxation is us four on our own spending time with each other without work, school, family, friends etc. However, I would miss them terribly if I went somewhere without them for two weeks. A week even.

    As you say, everyone is different.
    I'm like you Emily, I wouldn't actually enjoy a holiday without my husband and children - a weekend maybe, but not two weeks. My husband works a lot of nights and I work shifts so our time together is precious.

    But what works for us doesn't work for everyone and maybe I'm just jealous I don't have a wealthy friend offering me a free holiday to Florida:cool:
  • EmilyPEmilyP Posts: 583
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    I'm like you Emily, I wouldn't actually enjoy a holiday without my husband and children - a weekend maybe, but not two weeks. My husband works a lot of nights and I work shifts so our time together is precious.

    But what works for us doesn't work for everyone and maybe I'm just jealous I don't have a wealthy friend offering me a free holiday to Florida:cool:

    Lol. Nor me. BUT, I wouldn't/couldn't go without my husband or sons. Maybe I'm a saddo! :D
  • LaVieEnRoseLaVieEnRose Posts: 12,836
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    EmilyP wrote: »
    OP, I can't get my head round you having 4 weeks over the summer without your children. It would do my head in!

    Four weeks, where has that come from? It's TWO weeks, and the first of those was already arranged as a caravan holiday with Gran No 1. It's only a question of an extra week.
  • BellaroooBellarooo Posts: 2,412
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    Take the time off, have a great time, and don't feel guilty! x
  • Abbasolutely 40Abbasolutely 40 Posts: 15,589
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    Four weeks, where has that come from? It's TWO weeks, and the first of those was already arranged as a caravan holiday with Gran No 1. It's only a question of an extra week.

    Not that it matters but why are you leaping to the OPs defence all the time !! You corrected me as well .!
  • EmilyPEmilyP Posts: 583
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    allie5 wrote: »
    Well, if they were, why has MIL booked to take them on holiday for a week then? Long before any mention of my Florida freebie came up.

    And my mum was going to have them for another week of the summer hols, just not that particular one.

    If I really thought either mine or hubby's mum werent happy about having them, then it really would be a non starter - but they often spend weeks with them. Last year MIL took them on two week long holidays at the beginning and end of the summer. She has a pretty high powered job and enjoys winding down with her grand kids - plus it gives hubs and I some time to ourselves (as I said I deeply regret we cant get away together this time).
    Four weeks, where has that come from? It's TWO weeks, and the first of those was already arranged as a caravan holiday with Gran No 1. It's only a question of an extra week.

    I assumed that meant 2 fortnight long hols. Maybe a comma was missing. Anyway, two weeks without my children and husband would be far too long for me.
  • EmilyPEmilyP Posts: 583
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    Bellarooo wrote: »
    Take the time off, have a great time, and don't feel guilty! x

    deleted
  • alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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    Elanor wrote: »
    As I see it, everyone wins if she goes away - kids get time with granny, grannies get time with kids, husband gets peace and quiet while he's having a busy time at work, wife gets a holiday, wife's friends get her company. Unless you're one of those couples and families who lives in each other's pockets and does every single thing together, it sounds ideal to me. Time away makes you appreciate home and and family more, and especially for kids, it builds confidence and self reliance.

    Do you have children yourself though?What worked for you as a child may not work for you as a parent,
    Yes being away from the immediate family builds confidence, fair enough, but small children need their mum sometimes and no-one else, not granny, not daddy, will do. And two weeks away is too long - and that's only my opinion, based on my feelings having brought up four children. And we didn't and don't live in each other's pockets, never have and never will.
  • EmilyPEmilyP Posts: 583
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    Do you have children yourself though?What worked for you as a child may not work for you as a parent,
    Yes being away from the immediate family builds confidence, fair enough, but small children need their mum sometimes and no-one else, not granny, not daddy, will do. And two weeks away is too long - and that's only my opinion, based on my feelings having brought up four children. And we didn't and don't live in each other's pockets, never have and never will.

    Ditto!
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