I think I may have put my foot it in slightly, through a new course I started in September I made good pals with a classmate. He started lending me DVDs and suggesting meeting outside of class, I lent him 3 DVDs. I rang him to see how things were the day after last term, but during xmas holidays I hadn't heard anything so assumed he was busy etc.
I started thinking something might have happened, as I rang a few times since the new year. 1 of the DVDs I lent him's been deleted off the market altogether, so that was my main concern. Remembered him mentioning where he worked, so earlier rang up his workplace to see if he was on a break or something but I got redirected to him right away.
Made it as quick as possible, and asked why I'd not heard from him (he knows 1 of the DVD's been deleted). Said his phone's not been working, but he assured me he has my number still.
I'm just worried I might have come across creepy ringing like that, I wouldn't have bothered if it wasn't for the rarity of 1 DVD plus I've got 2 of his.
It's sounds as though, for whatever reason, he is avoiding either college or you.
IMO, as you have his personal number ringing him at work over a DVD is a bit melodramatic and may have given him the impression you were hunting him down, particularly as he didn't give you his work number. Many wrok places frown upon personal calls unless they are important.
You have to decide now if your DVD is worth more than your pride and self respect.
Goodness if I was the op I'd rather try to get my dvd back than buy a new one. Do you see him at college now? Do you still have some of his dvds? If so I'd stick them in a bag give them back to him and ask if you can have yours back. If you don't, I'd still ask face to face for mine back in general conversation.
It's sounds as though, for whatever reason, he is avoiding either college or you.
IMO, as you have his personal number ringing him at work over a DVD is a bit melodramatic and may have given him the impression you were hunting him down, particularly as he didn't give you his work number. Many wrok places frown upon personal calls unless they are important.
You have to decide now if your DVD is worth more than your pride and self respect.
When I spoke to him yesterday, he said his mobile's not been working since xmas apparantly, I did send a text over the holidays. Ringing his work place was a very last resort. I wouldn't have made this thread if it would have been a case of ringing him via his personal number. It it was about pride, I wouldn't have bothered anyone in this forum. Up until now for all I knew he could have stolen them.
Goodness if I was the op I'd rather try to get my dvd back than buy a new one. Do you see him at college now? Do you still have some of his dvds? If so I'd stick them in a bag give them back to him and ask if you can have yours back. If you don't, I'd still ask face to face for mine back in general conversation.
He's not been in class since new term, and I do still have his DVDs. Sooner than later, I'm sure he'll want his back so will have to give back mine.
It's sounds as though, for whatever reason, he is avoiding either college or you.
IMO, as you have his personal number ringing him at work over a DVD is a bit melodramatic and may have given him the impression you were hunting him down, particularly as he didn't give you his work number. Many wrok places frown upon personal calls unless they are important.
You have to decide now if your DVD is worth more than your pride and self respect.
Huh?
If you lend something of yours to someone else in good faith, and then don't try to get it back from them out of some misguided pride/fear of social fopar, that doesn't show much self respect either.
What a strange point of view. Of course OP should get it back, it belongs to them! And if the other person feels hunted down and is annoyed at being called at work then they should learn to return things they've borrowed!
OP tell your mate to use Blockbuster or the local library next time, I'm sure they won't have trouble returning items when there's the threat of a fine.
I once gave a "friend" of mine a shot of a box set worth around £60. He kept fobbing me off and making excuses and I still haven't received it back. This was a few years ago. :mad:
Unfortunately I've been burnt by this many times, either a) the person "loses" it b) the person onward lends it c) the person dissapears from contact d) a long time passes and I forget I lent it or who I lent it to!
As a result I just don't lend stuff anymore, unless it's someone who I know where they live or a super best friend.
It sounds like he has other stuff going on and the DVD is the least of his concerns. Learn your lesson from this and move on, after all, it's just a DVD.
Find out where he lives and pop over with a friend. He'll have no excuse to not give the DVD back if you are on his doorstep.
Either that, or get him to give you the £££ to buy them again.
The OP said he has some of the friends DVDs too, so why not just keep them and write it off? This chap sounds like he has all sorts going on his life, what with not turning up to college etc, harassing someone over a DVD is weird.
The OP said he has some of the friends DVDs too, so why not just keep them and write it off? This chap sounds like he has all sorts going on his life, what with not turning up to college etc, harassing someone over a DVD is weird.
Not at all, he/she wants his/her stuff back. They lent it to the person in good faith.
Not at all, he/she wants his/her stuff back. They lent it to the person in good faith.
He may want it back, but it doesn't look like he's getting it back. Like i say, lesson learnt, the OP should move on. Phoning someones work place and turning up at their home with a 'friend' seems a tad far fetched for a DVD, especially when he has some of his friends.
Just to clarify, if an item is "deleted" it means that the manufacturer has stopped making new copies of it so once a retail outlet sells out of copies, further copies are not available and the only option for getting your hands on one is through eBay or second hand outlets who, depending on the popularity of the item, may charge a lot of money for a copy. Beauty & The Beast came out on DVD in 2002 IIRC for a period of 3 months then was withdrawn from sale and not re-released until late 2010. That's 8 years of not being able to get a copy, which is why plenty of copies were going on eBay for around £80-£100.
I have been in this situation before, lent someone some DVD's, took ages to get them back then stupidly let him take others. In the end he said that he loaned them to his brother who promptly lost them but that he would replace them for me. I never seen or heard from him again. I also loaned my sisters boyfriend some DVD's but when he split from my sister he took a lot of stuff from their house with him as if they were his, including my DVDs. So there's two lots of DVD's I'm never gonna see again. Thankfully mine are standard ones you can still buy in shops/online for £3-£7. If it was a rare DVD or a 'deleted' one I would certainly persue it though. If it was me, I'd go to his work or wait around until he is leaving to go home and accidentally "bump" into him outside and mention getting your DVDs back. See what he says then.
The OP said he has some of the friends DVDs too, so why not just keep them and write it off? This chap sounds like he has all sorts going on his life, what with not turning up to college etc, harassing someone over a DVD is weird.
How else am I meant to contact him, when I've got no address etc. and like Paddy mentioned one's deleted off the market now. Otherwise this thread wouldn't exist and I'd have bought the DVDs again without wanting advice.
Sorry for the bump again, he's sending them in the post within the next few days. He sounded very weird through the whole 'conversation' "Oh yeah can I have your address I'll send them in the post". I mentioned it'd be best meeting in person to give him back his dvds he said not to worry about it. I mentioned hoping to remain friends and he replied "Probably not a good idea...I'm not on that course anymore...it's just something". Then that was it...
How else am I meant to contact him, when I've got no address etc. and like Paddy mentioned one's deleted off the market now. Otherwise this thread wouldn't exist and I'd have bought the DVDs again without wanting advice.
Sorry for the bump again, he's sending them in the post within the next few days. He sounded very weird through the whole 'conversation' "Oh yeah can I have your address I'll send them in the post". I mentioned it'd be best meeting in person to give him back his dvds he said not to worry about it. I mentioned hoping to remain friends and he replied "Probably not a good idea...I'm not on that course anymore...it's just something". Then that was it...
How did you manage to get hold of him?
It sounds like he has a lot on his plate at the minute, I still wouldnt hold your breath in getting them back in the post.
Edit just done a quick Google, its the blue velvet film you say is difficult to get hold of isnt it? They seem to have it on play.com fir £11.49 cant put link on at minute I am on my phone. It may be a totally different film though
Comments
Jeez, I wouldn't bother lending anyone anything if that was my motto.
Why aren't you seeing him in college?
IMO, as you have his personal number ringing him at work over a DVD is a bit melodramatic and may have given him the impression you were hunting him down, particularly as he didn't give you his work number. Many wrok places frown upon personal calls unless they are important.
You have to decide now if your DVD is worth more than your pride and self respect.
Thats why I don't lend anyone anything. Why should I?
Huh?
If you lend something of yours to someone else in good faith, and then don't try to get it back from them out of some misguided pride/fear of social fopar, that doesn't show much self respect either.
What a strange point of view. Of course OP should get it back, it belongs to them! And if the other person feels hunted down and is annoyed at being called at work then they should learn to return things they've borrowed!
OP tell your mate to use Blockbuster or the local library next time, I'm sure they won't have trouble returning items when there's the threat of a fine.
I think your best bet would be to speak to him at college.
As a result I just don't lend stuff anymore, unless it's someone who I know where they live or a super best friend.
Find out where he lives and pop over with a friend. He'll have no excuse to not give the DVD back if you are on his doorstep.
Either that, or get him to give you the £££ to buy them again.
The OP said he has some of the friends DVDs too, so why not just keep them and write it off? This chap sounds like he has all sorts going on his life, what with not turning up to college etc, harassing someone over a DVD is weird.
Not at all, he/she wants his/her stuff back. They lent it to the person in good faith.
He may want it back, but it doesn't look like he's getting it back. Like i say, lesson learnt, the OP should move on. Phoning someones work place and turning up at their home with a 'friend' seems a tad far fetched for a DVD, especially when he has some of his friends.
I have been in this situation before, lent someone some DVD's, took ages to get them back then stupidly let him take others. In the end he said that he loaned them to his brother who promptly lost them but that he would replace them for me. I never seen or heard from him again. I also loaned my sisters boyfriend some DVD's but when he split from my sister he took a lot of stuff from their house with him as if they were his, including my DVDs. So there's two lots of DVD's I'm never gonna see again. Thankfully mine are standard ones you can still buy in shops/online for £3-£7. If it was a rare DVD or a 'deleted' one I would certainly persue it though. If it was me, I'd go to his work or wait around until he is leaving to go home and accidentally "bump" into him outside and mention getting your DVDs back. See what he says then.
Sorry for the bump again, he's sending them in the post within the next few days. He sounded very weird through the whole 'conversation' "Oh yeah can I have your address I'll send them in the post". I mentioned it'd be best meeting in person to give him back his dvds he said not to worry about it. I mentioned hoping to remain friends and he replied "Probably not a good idea...I'm not on that course anymore...it's just something". Then that was it...
How did you manage to get hold of him?
It sounds like he has a lot on his plate at the minute, I still wouldnt hold your breath in getting them back in the post.
Edit just done a quick Google, its the blue velvet film you say is difficult to get hold of isnt it? They seem to have it on play.com fir £11.49 cant put link on at minute I am on my phone. It may be a totally different film though