Partner very forgetful

Miss minxMiss minx Posts: 245
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My partner seems quite forgetful these days

for example in the past two years he has left numerous E-cigs on the train or in shops were he's been shopping at the time, only to remember once he's got off the train he hasn't got it or once he's half way home.

a few times he has left a bag with shopping in shop or the town centre somewhere where he has put the bag down for a moment than walked off without it

One time he left his wallet with over £100 in it in a shop, then 10-15 minutes later when he couldnt find his wallet in his pocket remember his mistake that he'd left it in another shop so then we'd have to trail around to every shop he'd been in to find his wallet.

A few times he will go the shop for electric/gas or milk or bread but forget to take his money or forget the gas/electric card so then will have to come back and get them and then return to the shop

If you ask him to get something from the shop he will sometimes forget as well, even though it's been mentioned several times

I have tried to help him by reminding him to check his seat before he leaves the train in case he's left things on it, I have told him he needs to start making sure he has everything with him before he leaves a shop/the house etc.. I am just making him aware that if he's more careful than maybe his forgetfulness/absent mindedness. He does have a tendency to rush about although he has got better with that.

the funny thing is he is only 40.

Not as if it's an age thing.

Comments

  • AsarualimAsarualim Posts: 3,884
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    Miss minx wrote: »
    My partner seems quite forgetful these days

    for example in the past two years he has left numerous E-cigs on the train or in shops were he's been shopping at the time, only to remember once he's got off the train he hasn't got it or once he's half way home.

    a few times he has left a bag with shopping in shop or the town centre somewhere where he has put the bag down for a moment than walked off without it

    One time he left his wallet with over £100 in it in a shop, then 10-15 minutes later when he couldnt find his wallet in his pocket remember his mistake that he'd left it in another shop so then we'd have to trail around to every shop he'd been in to find his wallet.

    A few times he will go the shop for electric/gas or milk or bread but forget to take his money or forget the gas/electric card so then will have to come back and get them and then return to the shop

    If you ask him to get something from the shop he will sometimes forget as well, even though it's been mentioned several times

    I have tried to help him by reminding him to check his seat before he leaves the train in case he's left things on it, I have told him he needs to start making sure he has everything with him before he leaves a shop/the house etc.. I am just making him aware that if he's more careful than maybe his forgetfulness/absent mindedness. He does have a tendency to rush about although he has got better with that.

    the funny thing is he is only 40.

    Not as if it's an age thing.


    Has he got progressively more forgetful the last few years? The reason I ask is that early-onset Alzheimer's has been known to develop between ages 30 and 40, though it's quite rare at that age.

    I'd suggest him making lists for things like shopping.
  • Miss minxMiss minx Posts: 245
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    Asarualim wrote: »
    Has he got progressively more forgetful the last few years? The reason I ask is that early-onset Alzheimer's has been known to develop between ages 30 and 40, though it's quite rare at that age.

    I'd suggest him making lists for things like shopping.


    When I first met him 14 years ago he was fine. He would always be in a rush but would still remember things.
    It's happened gradually over the last 5 years, but got worse well more noticeable anyway over the last 2 to the point it's even annoying him. When I mention it though he just says 'Stop going on about it.' but I all I am doing is trying to help him. In my own way, I am just trying to make him aware that he needs to be more careful.

    He doesn't forget things like who people are, birthdays, appointments etc it just seems to be leaving things in shops, on trains and leaving his money at home when he's already at the shop.
    He even loses things in the house that he will spend ages looking for, accusing other people of moving. Which they havent most of the time. It's just he forgets where he's put it. He blames the kids stressing him out, distracting him but the kids are not always with him.

    I've heard about those early warning signs of Alzheimer's too. Do you think he should see a doctor?
  • KennedyCKennedyC Posts: 1,289
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    Is he preoccupied with something such as work or money problems?

    We all forget things from time to time but this does seem excessive. I am in my 50s and I have the same wallet I bought in the 80s. I have never lost keys or left things in shops but I do occasionally leave garden tools behind when working.
  • mrsgrumpy49mrsgrumpy49 Posts: 10,061
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    Miss minx wrote: »
    I've heard about those early warning signs of Alzheimer's too. Do you think he should see a doctor?
    I used to work for the Alzheimers Society. People could walk in off the street and see someone. It's often a family member who makes the first approach. I don't know if the society still does that. But their website also has useful information.
    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=164
    It could be early onset dementia of any kind - not just Alzheimer's. Those symptoms are fairly classic of early stage but it could also be
    A vitamin deficiency - notably B12.
    Or alcohol related.
    Or stress
    Or a number of other conditions.
    GPs or a Community Nurse will commonly test with various questions which can signpost to dementia. They are by no means failsafe though and they are not enough in themselves.
    It needs checking out imo. Will he go to a GP? BTW I used to avoid the word Allzheimer's before diagnosis as it had such a scare factor and it could be any kind of a memory issue.
    Is there any dementia in his family?
  • Miss minxMiss minx Posts: 245
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    He has said that he will make a GP appointment in the morning and is now feeling a bit worried because I've shown him my post. I've told him not to worry and its probably not as bad as he thinks.

    I'm unaware of his family medical history as he was adopted and his adoptive parents don't know either. His adoptive dad has early stages of dementia but that's not relevant really as he isn't a blood relative.
  • Miss minxMiss minx Posts: 245
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    KennedyC wrote: »
    Is he preoccupied with something such as work or money problems?

    We all forget things from time to time but this does seem excessive. I am in my 50s and I have the same wallet I bought in the 80s. I have never lost keys or left things in shops but I do occasionally leave garden tools behind when working.[/QUOTE


    He gets stressed easily.
    For example at the kids misbehaving
    or when he's not well he has crohns disease. Which can be very painful.
    He gets stressed at daft things or will be in a mood for days other trivial things
    Then other days fairly bad situations will be dismissed by him or he will down play it
    He hasn't been the same since his mum died 3 years ago, always seems a bit depressed etc..
  • Hobbes1966Hobbes1966 Posts: 5,370
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    It could well be related to his mum passing away. Maybe his mind is elsewhere. I'd say he should still go to the gp but from your last post it does seem like it may also be something else other than dementia. Whatever it is, hopefully it'll get sorted.
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,852
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    Is your OH on cortisone for his Crohns ? I ask this as it may be relevant
  • paralaxparalax Posts: 12,127
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    There are a number of reasons besides early onset dementia which is always the concern, important to get a referral as soon as possible to eliminate or confirm it because if it is dementia early therapy can make a big difference and slow the progress.
  • mrsgrumpy49mrsgrumpy49 Posts: 10,061
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    paralax wrote: »
    There are a number of reasons besides early onset dementia which is always the concern, important to get a referral as soon as possible to eliminate or confirm it because if it is dementia early therapy can make a big difference and slow the progress.
    Plus it may be something which can be remedied or mitigated. If he has been as forgetful as you describe, it may be that he knows deep down that something is not right. In which case don't let yourselves be fobbed off (it does happen). Just to say that at one point I had all these symptoms and more. For example I would drive off at night and forget to switch on the car headlights. But a little tablet sorted it.:) Good luck.
    PS there are memory tests you can do online.
  • TurbulenceTurbulence Posts: 4,819
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    I seriously can't believe the number of posts saying it could be Alzheimers. Of course he should still get it checked out as I know it can happen at ealier ages, but I would say at 40 it's far more likely to be stress or lack of sleep related. Nothing you have said in the OP screams Alzheimers or Dementia. It would be different if he was forgetting where he was or regularly forgetting what day it was.
  • SeasideLadySeasideLady Posts: 20,773
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    He can get a test done at the doctors - it's called a Mini Mental Health Assessment. It just asks you a few questions and they can take it from there.

    I'm a prolific list writer - go shopping with one every time. I also stick post - it notes on my kitchen cupboard door with things to do otherwise I would probably forget. Perhaps he needs to do this and accept it as a way of life if the GP finds nothing wrong !
  • davidmcndavidmcn Posts: 12,109
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    Is he on any medication? Some drugs cause attention problems.
  • AsarualimAsarualim Posts: 3,884
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    Miss minx wrote: »
    He has said that he will make a GP appointment in the morning and is now feeling a bit worried because I've shown him my post. I've told him not to worry and its probably not as bad as he thinks.

    That's probably the best course of action, to see a GP. If nothing else, it will, as others have said, at least rule out some things if they're not the problem. Hope everything works out OK.
  • mrsgrumpy49mrsgrumpy49 Posts: 10,061
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    Turbulence wrote: »
    It would be different if he was forgetting where he was or regularly forgetting what day it was.

    Did you not know that dementia (Alzheimer's is just one kind) is a progressive condition?
    Unless it's to do with a brain injury, you don't suddenly one day forget where you are. It starts with little things - including those listed by the OP.
    There again some people did suggest some of the other possible causes including me.
    A little tablet fixed mine...
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