Paying to attend a birthday party - seriously?

AnitaS · 15/02/14 - 02:17

I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o

Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.

exlordlucan · 15/02/14 - 02:19

Never heard of it myself but I'd tell 'em to shove it and just send a card

TheTruth1983 · 15/02/14 - 02:19

Tell him where to go

Nat28 · 15/02/14 - 02:19

AnitaS wrote: »

I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o

Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.

If it was me id be telling him where to go. Folk need to fork out 270 because its HIS birthday! He must have a bit of an ego

droogiefret · 15/02/14 - 02:21

AnitaS wrote: »

I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o

Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.

My daughter got invited to a birthday party. A week in Disney Florida - now that was expensive.

Summer Breeze · 15/02/14 - 02:21

AnitaS wrote: »

I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o

Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.

My oh my, if invited to a party the host pays surely?
It sounds like it could be a good bash if you know all the others who are attending but if you do not well maybe not.
£270 for one night out (for two of you?) is top end of my budget and I would want to know for sure I was going to have a good time for that.

AnitaS · 15/02/14 - 02:25

Summer Breeze wrote: »

My oh my, if invited to a party the host pays surely?
It sounds like it could be a good bash if you know all the others who are attending but if you do not well maybe not.
£270 for one night out (for two of you?) is top end of my budget and I would want to know for sure I was going to have a good time for that.

For one of me, Summer, and an extra £50 single room supplement. The party includes staying overnight at the hotel and breakfast the next day - woohoo!!

Summer Breeze · 15/02/14 - 02:27

AnitaS wrote: »

For one of me, Summer, and an extra £50 single room supplement. The party includes staying overnight at the hotel and breakfast the next day - woohoo!!

Bloody hell!
I will pay that at times if I have to, but I would want two of us there for that

pugamo · 15/02/14 - 02:27

I threw a 50th birthday party for my mum, not on a grand scale like that but I still payed for Dj, food etc for everyone for her and she still felt awkward just asking people to give up a few hours to attend.

Seems these days your birthday is a bust if you haven't had 20 of your closest friends to a week long party in the med, with them feeling obliged to leave their families for days and pay for the privilege to boot.

Jesse Pinkman · 15/02/14 - 02:30

He is basically saying I want a really big expensive birthday party way out of his expenses, so get everyone else to fork out £270 each on it.

I bet he would then expect everyone to turn up with present as well!

I'm sure most wouldn't be buying him a present costing £270 so why should everyone be expected to get into debt so that he can have a good time.

Tell him to go boil his head as I'm sure the majority of invited guest will do.

Nothing like being invited to blow £270 - You are Soooo lucky! :rolleyes:

AnitaS · 15/02/14 - 02:32

I could get a week away somewhere sunny for the same price. If I had a spare £270, that is.

Summer Breeze · 15/02/14 - 02:33

My daughter was invited to a hen do abroad once, she was the chief bridesmaid as well for that one.
It was a week away in a very costly city.
Her friend was and still is quite well off, most of her lawyer mates were too.
My girl was not then, so she could not do the full week out there as she was self employed and if she did not work she did not earn money.
She was made to feel like the party pooper.
My daughter wanted to borrow money from me to keep up with them all, but as it was going to about 2 and a half grand I told her no way.

People seem to think it is ok to ask others to match their own expensive choices in celebrations.
I personally do not think it is on.

academia · 15/02/14 - 02:42

AnitaS wrote: »

I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o

Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.

Ridiculous.bet no one ellse wants to go either.

Jesse Pinkman · 15/02/14 - 02:45

I mean what a stupid new trend.

It's my birthday in march, shall I plan something way out of my range and expect everyone else to pay it?

It's very rude, ignorant and way too egotistical. What are these people thinking?

fhs man 2 · 15/02/14 - 02:47

Is it open bar?

pugamo · 15/02/14 - 02:47

Jesse Pinkman wrote: »

I mean what a stupid new trend.

It's my birthday in march, shall I plan something way out of my range and expect everyone else to pay it?

It's very rude, ignorant and way too egotistical. What are these people thinking?

The best part is, I always hear the girls at work complaining because they've had to abandon their plans for a weekend abroad for their birthday because people can't afford it (can't they just put it on their credit card?! They ask) Or don't want to leave their kids (it's only for 3 days!! They exclaim!)

ROWLING2010 · 15/02/14 - 02:50

Seems a bit over the top and ridiculous that he's expecting people to pay all that out for one night.

I suppose you could research alternative and cheaper accommodation and meet up with everyone else at the other hotel.

Though I can't see many agreeing to attend.

AnitaS · 15/02/14 - 02:51

fhs man 2 wrote: »

Is it open bar?

Hmmmm, it doesn't say on the invitation. Oh, and there's a 'wish list' as well - he doesn't just want party guests, he wants presents too.

Summer Breeze · 15/02/14 - 02:52

What ever happened to the old days of a normal meal out or having people around to your own house for a birthday bash?

I was hostess with the mostess once upon a time.
I feel I want to do a house party again this year.
That will be a blast from the past for me.

AnitaS · 15/02/14 - 02:53

pugamo wrote: »

The best part is, I always hear the girls at work complaining because they've had to abandon their plans for a weekend abroad for their birthday because people can't afford it (can't they just put it on their credit card?! They ask) Or don't want to leave their kids (it's only for 3 days!! They exclaim!)

What's happened to the culture of 'it's my birthday, who fancies a pint after work?'

Poppy99_Poppy · 15/02/14 - 02:57

Buy him a card ar a pound shop and leave it at that. You have got better things to spend your money on than ramping up someone elses ego.0

Nat28 · 15/02/14 - 03:00

AnitaS wrote: »

What's happened to the culture of 'it's my birthday, who fancies a pint after work?'

Weddings are the same too. What happened to small weddings at the local registrar or local church then a wee party at night. Now its thousands for this and that.

Jesse Pinkman · 15/02/14 - 03:02

It's all this materialistic big fat OTT out-do everyone mentality.

Enjoyment level based and judged on ridiculous expense of it all instead of spending it with a few people whose company you enjoy.
And that can be done anywhere.

So true friendship out of the window and replaced with fake spectacle and thinking that out-doing someone else make you a better person than them.

What a silly little vacuous society we have bred.

Rachael. · 15/02/14 - 03:02

AnitaS wrote: »

Hmmmm, it doesn't say on the invitation. Oh, and there's a 'wish list' as well - he doesn't just want party guests, he wants presents too.

What a bloody cheek. If you decide to attend give him a card and thats all. That is so rude expecting everyone to fork out to attend and to state the presents he would like. A wish list is rude enough on its own never mind having to pay to attend!

jra · 15/02/14 - 03:03

AnitaS wrote: »

I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o

Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.

Even if there are only 30 guests, that'll be £8100. Is it really going to cost that much.

If say the room is £100, dinner and drinks £100, jazz band £20 per person, that's still £50 shy.

Being the cynic that I am, I think this guy not only wants people to pay for his birthday do, but will be pocketing a bit of cash in the process.

Plus of course, you still have to pay to get there and are expected to bring a birthday present plus card.

Send him a card. Thanks, but no thanks and take that weeks holiday instead.

Summer Breeze · 15/02/14 - 03:04

Nat28 wrote: »

Weddings are the same too. What happened to small weddings at the local registrar or local church then a wee party at night. Now its thousands for this and that.

I am gently sowing a seed to my kids about low key weddings

Hey there!

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