Whatever, people had their chance to express their opinion before the OP made her decision. Not after.
Perhaps the breezy way in which this saga, including the tragic aftermath, has been drip fed to FMs lulled mariets into thinking her post, based on the original question, would be received as mere "General Discussion" ?
General discussion is all well & good, but basic courtesy, kindness & consideration for a horrific & painful loss that wasn't taken as an easy decision seems to be missing from here too. That's my last word on the matter, jump down my throat if it really makes you feel better.
General discussion is all well & good, but basic courtesy, kindness & consideration for a horrific & painful loss that wasn't taken as an easy decision seems to be missing from here too. That's my last word on the matter, jump down my throat if it really makes you feel better.
General discussion is all well & good, but basic courtesy, kindness & consideration for a horrific & painful loss that wasn't taken as an easy decision seems to be missing from here too. That's my last word on the matter, jump down my throat if it really makes you feel better.
Nobody is jumping down your throat, just pointing out that Mariets ONLY read the OP. She answered accordingly. She did NOT read the rest of the thread.
Were people taking offence at what mariets said the cause of the arguing / thread cull last night?
Kind of, it wasn't actually what was posted as we all post without reading the full thread it was the fact that when I suggested now we know the full situation we offer a little more sympathy and suddenly I was the bad person by trying to "control" what other FM's said :eek:
Several posters took offence to me pointing this out??? So it's OK for a woman who has lost her baby to be made to feel even worse on a forum but it's not OK for me to ask people to be a bit more sensitive?? Only in crazy DS world hey??
Anyhoo, this is all going to get removed again.
For the record mariets did actually acknowledge that she hadn't read the whole thread and she did offer a little empathy (which is exactly what I suggested given the situation)
Nobody is jumping down your throat, just pointing out that Mariets ONLY read the OP. She answered accordingly. She did NOT read the rest of the thread.
For the record mariets did actually acknowledge that she hadn't read the whole thread and she did offer a little empathy (which is exactly what I suggested given the situation)
General discussion is all well & good, but basic courtesy, kindness & consideration for a horrific & painful loss that wasn't taken as an easy decision seems to be missing from here too. That's my last word on the matter, jump down my throat if it really makes you feel better.
Nooway has received plenty of that.
All mariets 'did wrong' was not read the whole thread before answering the question in the OP. She hasn't been cruel or nasty about the choice the OP made or said anything negative about it.
People continuing to have a pop at Mariets for that are not really helping Nooway.
just wanted to post and say I'm
totally at peace with our decision.... our little boy was
much more poorly than we had imagined (the back
of his skull had a huge dent in it, his left leg was
twisted and shriveled up and his spina bifida left
a huge hole on how lower back, and his spine was
hanging out. The birth was beautiful and I was
high on love for a good few hours, we held him,
realised he was alive and then he slowly died, I
think he slipped away when he was lying skin to
skin on my chest. Utterly amazing experience, I feel so lucky that he held on to meet us will probably update later but the baby blues are kicking in and I'm feeling a bit fragile.
I've read the whole thread, and felt compelled to log in to say: that ^^^^ is so eloquently put; it really does say it all, and the poignancy is so very moving.
You were blessed to have been able to experience such an intimate sense of joy amid all the gut-wrenching heartbreak. I like to imagine that, on some instinctively subconscious level, your beautiful boy could sense his mama's deep love.
All mariets 'did wrong' was not read the whole thread before answering the question in the OP. She hasn't been cruel or nasty about the choice the OP made or said anything negative about it.
People continuing to have a pop at Mariets for that are not really helping Nooway.
I would agree with this completely. Mariets has done nothing wrong at all, she is entitled to her opinion on the matter and answered the OPs question.
I still maintain GD is the wrong place for this as some of the posts could be seen as too graphic. Nooway needs to take this somewhere where she will get the proper help needed.
All mariets 'did wrong' was not read the whole thread before answering the question in the OP. She hasn't been cruel or nasty about the choice the OP made or said anything negative about it.
People continuing to have a pop at Mariets for that are not really helping Nooway.
you didnt have to read the whole thread for goodness sake to realise what sensitive thread this is. Just one or two posts would be enough to realise that you need be able to handle yourself with tact and sensitivity in this thread. Well for most anyway. Which begs the question why would she make such a post.
I would agree with this completely. Mariets has done nothing wrong at all, she is entitled to her opinion on the matter and answered the OPs question.
I still maintain GD is the wrong place for this as some of the posts could be seen as too graphic. Nooway needs to take this somewhere where she will get the proper help needed.
Blogs are brilliant for this kind of thing.
Completely agree. I've no idea why GD is thought to be an appropriate place for this.
you didnt have to read the whole thread for goodness sake to realise what sensitive thread this is. Just one or two posts would be enough to realise that you need be able to handle yourself with tact and sensitivity in this thread. Well for most anyway. Which begs the question why would she make such a post.
And having a pop at mariets and drawing more attention to her post is tactful and sensitive is it?
I don't want to speak for noo, but I think that under her pain and grief she is 100% certain that her decision was the right one for her to take, so I don't think that someone saying that they would have made a different decision would affect her in any way. She hasn't been criticised at all.
Mods can we close this thread? I'm fed up with being branded an idiot for posting this in general discussion (before I was aware that there were specialist forums for this type of thing). Thanks everyone for your answers and support but I feel the little digs are unneeded.
Mods can we close this thread? I'm fed up with being branded an idiot for posting this in general discussion (before I was aware that there were specialist forums for this type of thing). Thanks everyone for your answers and support but I feel the little digs are unneeded.
I don't think anyone is digging at you or thinking you an idiot.
nooway, would you like me to alert your post for you so the mods see it, the thread can be locked then and the tactless little digs comments will stop?
Mods can we close this thread? I'm fed up with being branded an idiot for posting this in general discussion (before I was aware that there were specialist forums for this type of thing). Thanks everyone for your answers and support but I feel the little digs are unneeded.
Of course you are not an idiot. You asked for opinions, were absolutely calm and reasonable about the variety of opinions that were offered, and are not even 1% responsible for the actions of those who can't even be bothered to read the last page of a thread before they jump in, still less so for the people who think it appropriate to attack you for them doing so.
Thank you for sharing your story. It was very moving and thoughtful. All best wishes to you and your family for the future.
Mods can we close this thread? I'm fed up with being branded an idiot for posting this in general discussion (before I was aware that there were specialist forums for this type of thing). Thanks everyone for your answers and support but I feel the little digs are unneeded.
Sorry you've been upset at this time Nooooway.
Just goes to prove that no matter where you post something (who really cares?! I don't ) people really need to be more sensitive and take the time to read & understand the full situation before going off on one because they're desperate for a row. Seems like those who didn't think that they were at all being insensitive have caused the OP offence.
I really do wonder about some folk here sometimes, I really do.
Mods can we close this thread? I'm fed up with being branded an idiot for posting this in general discussion (before I was aware that there were specialist forums for this type of thing). Thanks everyone for your answers and support but I feel the little digs are unneeded.
If you alert your post you can ask the mods to move it to advice, or start a new thread there anyway to leave all the bickering here behind.
For the record, I don't think anyone thinks you are an idiot or digging at you personally. Its just that each forum has its own 'atmosphere' so responses may differ.
Comments
Mariets didn't read the thread until after the decision had been made.
Like many, she read only the OP and gave her opinion on the OP.
She has not done anything wrong.
Perhaps the breezy way in which this saga, including the tragic aftermath, has been drip fed to FMs lulled mariets into thinking her post, based on the original question, would be received as mere "General Discussion" ?
i agree
Nobody is jumping down your throat, just pointing out that Mariets ONLY read the OP. She answered accordingly. She did NOT read the rest of the thread.
Kind of, it wasn't actually what was posted as we all post without reading the full thread it was the fact that when I suggested now we know the full situation we offer a little more sympathy and suddenly I was the bad person by trying to "control" what other FM's said :eek:
Several posters took offence to me pointing this out??? So it's OK for a woman who has lost her baby to be made to feel even worse on a forum but it's not OK for me to ask people to be a bit more sensitive?? Only in crazy DS world hey??
Anyhoo, this is all going to get removed again.
For the record mariets did actually acknowledge that she hadn't read the whole thread and she did offer a little empathy (which is exactly what I suggested given the situation)
well that is inappropriate quite obviously
And that should be an end of it.
Nooway has received plenty of that.
All mariets 'did wrong' was not read the whole thread before answering the question in the OP. She hasn't been cruel or nasty about the choice the OP made or said anything negative about it.
People continuing to have a pop at Mariets for that are not really helping Nooway.
I've read the whole thread, and felt compelled to log in to say: that ^^^^ is so eloquently put; it really does say it all, and the poignancy is so very moving.
You were blessed to have been able to experience such an intimate sense of joy amid all the gut-wrenching heartbreak. I like to imagine that, on some instinctively subconscious level, your beautiful boy could sense his mama's deep love.
I think you're a very courageous lady xx
I would agree with this completely. Mariets has done nothing wrong at all, she is entitled to her opinion on the matter and answered the OPs question.
I still maintain GD is the wrong place for this as some of the posts could be seen as too graphic. Nooway needs to take this somewhere where she will get the proper help needed.
Blogs are brilliant for this kind of thing.
you didnt have to read the whole thread for goodness sake to realise what sensitive thread this is. Just one or two posts would be enough to realise that you need be able to handle yourself with tact and sensitivity in this thread. Well for most anyway. Which begs the question why would she make such a post.
Completely agree. I've no idea why GD is thought to be an appropriate place for this.
i think you have made your point now. maybe leave it be eh.
And having a pop at mariets and drawing more attention to her post is tactful and sensitive is it?
I don't want to speak for noo, but I think that under her pain and grief she is 100% certain that her decision was the right one for her to take, so I don't think that someone saying that they would have made a different decision would affect her in any way. She hasn't been criticised at all.
Are you a headmistress?
no. your point? why in this thread?
I don't think anyone is digging at you or thinking you an idiot.
Of course you are not an idiot. You asked for opinions, were absolutely calm and reasonable about the variety of opinions that were offered, and are not even 1% responsible for the actions of those who can't even be bothered to read the last page of a thread before they jump in, still less so for the people who think it appropriate to attack you for them doing so.
Thank you for sharing your story. It was very moving and thoughtful. All best wishes to you and your family for the future.
Sorry you've been upset at this time Nooooway.
Just goes to prove that no matter where you post something (who really cares?! I don't ) people really need to be more sensitive and take the time to read & understand the full situation before going off on one because they're desperate for a row. Seems like those who didn't think that they were at all being insensitive have caused the OP offence.
I really do wonder about some folk here sometimes, I really do.
If you alert your post you can ask the mods to move it to advice, or start a new thread there anyway to leave all the bickering here behind.
For the record, I don't think anyone thinks you are an idiot or digging at you personally. Its just that each forum has its own 'atmosphere' so responses may differ.