Suicide Reaction - Compassionate and Understanding or Total Lack of Understanding?
Danny Simpson
Posts: 323 Forum Member
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Hey DS :cool:
Mentioning no names for obvious reasons, but someone I know has told me that someone in their family tried to take their own life. They're only 17 years old.
Ok so the friend that told me is very cool and supportive about it and concerned etc. Other family members however seemed angry and annoyed at his "selfishness". Personally this doesn't sound like they are contributing to a positive outcome for the victim long term wise at all!
Got me thinking, how would you react if a younger member of your family did this? Are survivors of suicide extremely selfish and are they even "victims"?
Thought I would do a serious topic today seeing as my other threads have been fairly irrelevant and self related with a dash of hyper thrown in!
Remember, play nicely!
Mentioning no names for obvious reasons, but someone I know has told me that someone in their family tried to take their own life. They're only 17 years old.
Ok so the friend that told me is very cool and supportive about it and concerned etc. Other family members however seemed angry and annoyed at his "selfishness". Personally this doesn't sound like they are contributing to a positive outcome for the victim long term wise at all!
Got me thinking, how would you react if a younger member of your family did this? Are survivors of suicide extremely selfish and are they even "victims"?
Thought I would do a serious topic today seeing as my other threads have been fairly irrelevant and self related with a dash of hyper thrown in!
Remember, play nicely!
0
Comments
When I did it it all made total sense in my own mind I thought the family would be better off if I wasn't around.
Plus I don't see how they can be seen as selfish as again a lot of the time they/we genuinely believe we are doing it for them.
An example is a the 16 year old best friend of my son who succeeded in killing himself. His family are in pieces. His friends can make no sense of it. On the first anniversary at the end of last year my son was in a really bad way because of it all. And as illogical as I know it was I was so cross at the boy for it and how it has affected those who cared for him. I do know though that if he could have foreseen all of this he wouldn't have been able to do it.
I'm sorry to hear that. That is completely awful. Age 16 - terrible.
My son is 17. Did the boy give any indication of how unhappy he was?
The brain can take you into very dark places and tbh many people probably feel they are doing their friends/family a favour by removing themselves fro mthe world. Nobody can possibly realise how skewed their perspective is whilst they are experiencing such intense feelings.
So no, it's not selfish, in fact, I wish I'd got through it with a decade ago and saved my self and my family all these years of misery
Sorry to hear you feel like that. I'm sure your family would rather have you here despite "all these years of misery". Don't you ever moments where you are so glad you didn't commit suicide?
People that end it who have family are selfish.
I have to disagree there in my case and many other you do think of their feelings but think they will be glad or happy you did it
What do you think of that reply guys?
No you far off the mark, so next time wait for the answer before you lecture. :rolleyes:
Surely committing suicide shows that there is something very wrong going on in their lives.
Bit harsh.
But at the same time I know he would never have intentionally hurt his family and friends, it must have just been that he could see no other way of dealing with whatever it was that drove him to it. So thinking about it now, i'm not angry with him i just wish we'd known something was up and helped him, maybe someone could have stopped him taking his own life.
That's a sad story, but I do find it bizarre to suggest that other people wanting you to live should be reason enough for you not to kill yourself. For some people it is a release from perpetual mental torment, so it disturbs me that you seem to be suggesting that a person should endure that state to avoid other people being upset by their death. Maybe I'm misunderstanding?
"When you are so depressed all you want is the pain to ease, other peoples' feelings doesn't enter the equation".
Sorry I didn't put that very well. It should have read on the lines that when you've hit rock bottom and feel there's no where else to go other peoples' grief / anger / bewilderment at your suicide doesn't come into it as, like you said, most contemplating suicide think they are doing their families a "favour".
Not necessarily. For some people their problems are only in their head- it's the self indulgent thinking that escalates small issues into seemingly big problems.
There must be terrible amount of guilt when a person kills themselves for the people left behind and heartbreak.
I suppose if a person could forsee the devastation they leave behind they might relook at their life and find a way to over come the depression and anguish they feel.
Only in their head? Where else do problems lurk then, if not in the head?
You say self indulgent, another might say tormented
It seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to me
Also, if someone is suffering mental torment, should they not take some steps to lift themselves out of that? Get help, if needed get some medication etc. Or maybe do something to help others, to get some perspective on life.