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Depressed?
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[Deleted User]
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Hi all,
Just been looking for somewhere to post this and finally plucked up the courage. I graduated 2 years ago from university ever since I have been applying for work - graduate jobs, work experience and basic office jobs ie admin had no luck whatsoever. I did land one as a temp attendance clerk, but they withdrew the offer because they werent able to get a hold of references that they needed, which I was upset about.
Even though I have a part time job but I'm at the point where I just want to do something else, anything. Now I've just lost the drive and passion for life, and to even apply for work. There are occasions when I cry a lot for nothing and go into deep thought, those thoughts are nothing but negative. I stay wide awake at night, don't fall asleep til late and sleep a lot. At times I find it difficult to get out of bed. I find it hard focusing my concentration say if my sister wants my help for her work I lose focus and my head is elsewhere. My head feels like a sieve and struggle to remember stuff, sometimes.
I don't think it helps that I'm a quiet person, I tend to keep myself to myself, always struggled to make friends and hardly go out. I don't think it's done my self-confidence and self esteem any good when my mum puts me down, she does it to my other siblings too. Im going to be 25 soon and feel like such a failure. I don't know if I'm depressed or it's something else.
Im not looking for advice per se, just needed a forum to let it all out and not bottle it up. If you want I don't mind at all.
x
Just been looking for somewhere to post this and finally plucked up the courage. I graduated 2 years ago from university ever since I have been applying for work - graduate jobs, work experience and basic office jobs ie admin had no luck whatsoever. I did land one as a temp attendance clerk, but they withdrew the offer because they werent able to get a hold of references that they needed, which I was upset about.
Even though I have a part time job but I'm at the point where I just want to do something else, anything. Now I've just lost the drive and passion for life, and to even apply for work. There are occasions when I cry a lot for nothing and go into deep thought, those thoughts are nothing but negative. I stay wide awake at night, don't fall asleep til late and sleep a lot. At times I find it difficult to get out of bed. I find it hard focusing my concentration say if my sister wants my help for her work I lose focus and my head is elsewhere. My head feels like a sieve and struggle to remember stuff, sometimes.
I don't think it helps that I'm a quiet person, I tend to keep myself to myself, always struggled to make friends and hardly go out. I don't think it's done my self-confidence and self esteem any good when my mum puts me down, she does it to my other siblings too. Im going to be 25 soon and feel like such a failure. I don't know if I'm depressed or it's something else.
Im not looking for advice per se, just needed a forum to let it all out and not bottle it up. If you want I don't mind at all.
x
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Comments
I went through a really bad patch about your age, I won't go into details because this isn't about me but what I will say is I got to the point where I thought fk it, I have no life and nothing is going to change unless I do something about it and I just found the determined from somewhere.
You will have to find the strength of character to push yourself to make changes even if you find it uncomfortable, get out of your comfort zone, make yourself do it. You can do it and you will, just a few small steps and you'll find things will snowball. Just don't give up. X
Its reassuring to know you went through a really rough patch and found the strength to conquer it all. I need to find that inner strength to make me more determined and driven about my goals in life.
I thought when I left university I would have a career, be happy, feel fulfilled in it, boy does it hit you like a ton of bricks when you find out the reality and how naive I was back then. I dont regret going to university, I regret my subject choice though, wish I chose something else but there is nothing I could now. I regret not applying for internships in my final year of university.
Thanks for the words of encouragement!
x
Keep trying to find work in an area that you're interested in, even if it's at the bottom rung of the ladder. If you're doing something you enjoy, you will soon move up.
I agree with chipbuttie1 about not resorting to medication. It seems to me that your depression stems from your situation, and will be resolved as you take action. Try to make small changes in your life, which can have a big impact on the way you feel. If you feel that you are making progress, no matter how slowly, you'll start to regain your confidence.
Remember, you're still very young and have your life ahead of you. Things keep changing, and your situation will change for the better. Keep your chin up.:)
You say you have regrets about your choices, everyone has regrets, it's always easy in hindsight to see where we went wrong. Maybe you could go night school, do a part-time course, volunteer in the field you're interested in? What is it you want to do, have a goal and think of ways in which you could achieve it.