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attending funeral advice please
Hello, I will be going to my Uncle's Funeral shortly and i need some advice please.
Firstly, I do not know what to wear, they are very religious, quite posh and it is summer. Also the drive up to it will be 4 ish hours, depending on traffic. I want to be comfy but not look like a scruffy mess!
Secondly, and i know this is a little daft, but I have Fibromyalgia, my brain does not work properly half the time, i rarely go out and speak to people so, although i should think, oh bugger it, i do worry about how i will be perceived by my Family.
Your thoughts would be appreciated, Thank you.
Firstly, I do not know what to wear, they are very religious, quite posh and it is summer. Also the drive up to it will be 4 ish hours, depending on traffic. I want to be comfy but not look like a scruffy mess!
Secondly, and i know this is a little daft, but I have Fibromyalgia, my brain does not work properly half the time, i rarely go out and speak to people so, although i should think, oh bugger it, i do worry about how i will be perceived by my Family.
Your thoughts would be appreciated, Thank you.
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LoL ! Didn't read the profile ! Well advice still stands - dress respectfully !
I wouldn't worry too much about how you'll be perceived. If you're a little quiet no-one would think anything bad of you, it's a funeral after all.
As for your "condition" just be who you are. If people judge you inappropriately then they are at fault. It sounds as though you'll have little contact with them afterward anyway.
Good luck.
That sounds like a very good idea if you can find one within reasonable distance of the funeral.
Nice catch Toby, I didn't know until I read her profile.
More good advice I think.
I have been mildly amazed in the past at guys turning up in jeans at funerals, sometimes blue jeans as well as black.
I feel that if you can't turn up respectfully dressed at a funeral, (respect for the deceased I mean), then it may be better not to turn up at all.
I don't think that it's wrong not to wear a tie, but at least have a clean, pressed, white or light blue shirt.
Thank you...i know i shouldn't but this did make me laugh
think you have had good advice re clothes and agree re travelling up the day before if possible. I went to a funeral a few weeks ago, drove an hour in 28degree weather all in black... I was a little hot!
I had the same thoughts about talking to people and how i would be perceived by people I hadn't seen for a few years and once I was there I don't know what I was worried about it was like I had just seen them yesterday. However, if my family had been there been a black sheep it would've been A little bit awkward (okay then a lot!).
but paying my respects was more important than anything else
I think it is going to be a there and back in one day! My Dad wants to go (his Brother after all) and i think it is what he will prefer.
I shall have a look through my wardrobe at what i have already that may be suitable..... no tie though
Thank you All for responding, this was my first ever thread..... may do a more cheerful one in the future !
Soap-lea, this has reassured me a bit, thanks, as you say, paying your respects IS more important.
How nice of you to be so appreciative. ;-)
First thread of many to come! ;-)
It comprised lovely stories and tributes about his life and himself.
It was littered with laughter and music he loved.
I'm not a fan of "dress in black" mournings of the departed.
Celebrate their life, don't mourn their demise. ;-)
What a load of absolute rubbish! It's more important to turn up and pay your respects than to bother what clothes you are wearing.
I went to one funeral where about 10 guys came in wearing overalls and their reflective jackets. They worked for the council, were on duty, but felt they wanted to pay their respects to a colleague.
For my funeral, I've already stated that I don't want anyone to wear black - colours only and preferably something funny: No hymns, no prayers - comical anecdotes only.
My Mum was the same, and my Dad has the same request.
The BBC Travel website is also good to look at both on the day itself and the day before to see if there any planned roadworks which could delay your journey so you could maybe plan an alternative route. . The M1 often has long patches of roadworks with speed limited to 50mph.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/travel
On such long journeys too I always ensure the TP button on my car radio is switched on so I get the local BBC traffic reports.
I did go to one funeral several years ago where we all wore jeans and tee shirts bearing the name of a particular radio station with which the deceased was connected. During the service jingles from this station were also played!
However, I have to say, this was clearly the exception rather than the rule. The dress code required was clearly specified to all well before the day of the funeral by the deceased's family, so everyone knew what was expected.
Every other funeral I've ever been to I've always worn a suit and a black tie. But, as I've said, you do sometimes get exceptions.
A large supermarket toilets are usually ok - but maybe call ahead to the site (Crematorium of whatever) and see if they have a place to change just in case you are running late.
If I travel to interviews or anything formal, I wear the same trousers, but change my shirt as it will be sweaty, but I am male, however the same could apply.
A deodorant on hand to give a quick underarm scoosh, or even a wet flannel in a sandwich bag under the seat in a car will make you fee more human after the journey.
Well aren't you rude ? And have an apt username as well ! You have your ideas on how funerals should be held and I have mine - end of.
I would also say this is a good idea, especially if you have fibro and fatigue is an issue. I'd consider staying the night of the funeral as well and go home the next day.
Unless there is something that says different (my Mum is religious but she has stated no black to be worn), then I would go for a simple dark/black dress and cardigan.
Hope everything goes well OP, and hope the fibro doesn't play up too much...:(