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Celeb advice: Your shot!
shuddupfluffy
Posts: 3,274 Forum Member
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With so many z/celebs getting it sooooo wrong, I thought we should have a thread to give them advice!
If you were a relative or close friend of a celeb, what would you say to them to stop them making such fools of themselves?
.......I'll start
Britney: Stay in a bit more, look like you are bothered about your children in public, wear some more flattering clothes, and remember......you can display dignity!
Peaches Geldof: Grow up and stop pretending you are famous or clever. Get a proper job or go to college. Fade into obscurity...please!
If you were a relative or close friend of a celeb, what would you say to them to stop them making such fools of themselves?
.......I'll start
Britney: Stay in a bit more, look like you are bothered about your children in public, wear some more flattering clothes, and remember......you can display dignity!
Peaches Geldof: Grow up and stop pretending you are famous or clever. Get a proper job or go to college. Fade into obscurity...please!
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Comments
And ditto for Graham Norton, and Richard Madeley.
Ooh no that would just spoil his sexyness
Katie Price
Kerry Katona
Get yourselves a good course in self-awareness.
Kerry Katona - dump your fiance, take some time out with no men in your life, care for your children, put your health first and get help for your various addictions and get some therapy to truly get over Brian - because we all know your not.
Peaches Geldof:stop behaving like a petulant child living off your parents fame, you are neither interesting or nor as intelligent as you like to think you are. You come across as a precious terminally spoilt teenager who really needs to be brought down a peg or two. I suggest you finish your studies, get yourself a job that doesn't involve daddy's help and stop commenting on issues you clearly have no idea about.
All future BB contestants celebrity or otherwise - this show will bring you infamy for all the wrong reasons and maybe one or two you will achieve short term success, but at what cost? - the rest of you will be splashed all across the tabloids and not for the right reasons.
Jodie Marsh: Cotton knicks and allow it some room to breath, dear.
Faria Alam: Call it what you like love, but women that 'accompany' men for cash are all called one thing in my book. Stop deluding yourself.
Richard Madeley: Leave poor Judy and the public alone. There is NOTHING attractive about some loud mouthed middle-aged walking ego spouting off about their sex life.
Russell Brand: We've seen that act all before. Move along now or find something interesting to talk about.
Ulrikakakakakakak: Yes, we know you slept with Mr Burns. We got that message the first time you told us. Stop contradicting yourself, stop being so hypocritical about others and take a good look at yourself. A good dinner would help loads.
Dale Winton: NO! Returns of old programmes generally don't work. Look at Crossroads. Supermarket Sweep was of it's time. Leave it! Put the botox and fakebake down and move away from the camera. We are not ready for your face-lift made beady eyes cheesing back at us just yet.
Preston: Noone believes you.
Robbie Williams: Shave the beard mate, it doesn't suit.
Oh I could go on and on and on and on.....
Jodie Marsh- stop using sunbeds.
Davina McCall- please dont do another series of BB
Russell Brand- wear looser trousers
Britney Spears- Wear pants
Sophie Anderton- Dont do any more reality TV
Jade Goody- Your 15 minutes is well and truly up, stay out of the media, raise your kids, dont ever speak.
Victoria Beckham- Move as far away as possible, the moon if you can, eat something more than a grape for dinner.
Pete Doherty- Just say NO.
Bigger more Brash Brazen women....
Kate Moss - Dump that loser once and for all ......for real this time! :rolleyes:
George Michael - Go get some therapy , you are a fab talent on the road to self destruction....ps I love you ...pps If you ever fancy going bi I'm your girl...
Victoria Beckham: Stop sucking the cheeks in love. It doesn't change anything. You are still unattractive with bad skin and no talent. No amount of designer labels can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Stop bleating on about press intrusion. You know you tip them off or park 200 metres away from the shop entrance to ensure maximum photographic opportunity. Try wearing some knicks when out on a stroll with your kids... Talking of which, let your third attempt at a girl come out to play once in a while.
Fiona Phillips: Leave the studios and carry on walking. Don't look back. Just carry right on. That's it. Go on.... *Waves*
Paul MacCartney: A few shades lighter with the hair dye. T'is starting to give you a death-coloured palour. Or is that just the ex-wife?
ooh bet that'll bite....
Tara Reid: Food will not kill you, not eating will. You were much sexier with curves.
Lindsey Lohan: Get back to acting the partying is destroying your career.
Jodie Marsh: Please wear some clothes, not just belts.
Naomi Campbell: Cut out the drugs and maybe your mood will improve.
Jordan Get real.
Kate Moss: Just say NO, dump Pete he will only drag you down
Sophie Anderton: Don't do any more TV ever. Change your psychiatrist as the current one seems to have failed miserably.
Davina McCall: Retire gracefully at the height of your career. The latest CBB proved that you had no talent and certainly none as an interviewer.
Russell Brand: Shave, wash and comb your hair, get elocution lessons, never mention your dick sack except to the STD clinic.
Demot O'Leary: Change you agent he is doing you no favours.
Jade Goody: F*** off permanently and take your family with you.
Jack Tweedy: Not much of a football agent to go on CBB during the busiest time of the year for agents, maybe you should join the dole queue.
Jo O'Meara: You screwed yourself so maybe it is good that you cant go back home, the bailiffs will be there already.
Danielle Lloyd: Give up the pretence you will never be a great model. There are thousands of prettier girls out there. Stop being a racist bully.
Leo Sayer: Consider anger management.
Dale Winton Cupronol is not a great colour.
Nikki Graham: Give up on the idea of being a footballers wife except from the pub league.
Winona Ryder: See a therapist.
Russell Crowe: Throwing a phone at hotel staff does not get you better service.
Mel Gibson: Read a bit more history or get a subscription to the history channel.
Gordon Ramsey: Have you considered a swear box?
Victoria Beckham: You are a crap singer so give up the idea of a singing career. Oh and eat something.
Emma Bunton: Your career is over so face it. Having a baby to help promote a single does not work.
Britney Spears: Wear pants; find a bloke who does not want fame, and is happy to be with you for who you are, and will keep you down to earth.
Justin Timberlake: Avoid Britney for now she will just tarnish your reputation
K-Fed Loser!!!
Cameron Diaz: Clearasil