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26 and still trying to figure myself out/ make peace with myself
CaptainObvious_
Posts: 3,881 Forum Member
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Just another night of doing too much thinking and it's just occurred to me that at 26 I should know myself and be happy with myself. This is the stuff teenagers think about and obsess about- not people in their mid 20s. I am nearly finished university and should be thinking about careers and finding a flat and settling down with someone and other 'adult' things not thinking about how to feel better about my looks and my situations and other things that I am not happy about. The fact that I have never had a partner also weighs heavily on my mind. How do people manage to find partner after partner after partner when I have trouble even finding one (not that I feel mentally ready to share myself with someone- it's still nice to imagine someone finding you attractive enough to be with you isn't it?)
I wish I could rewind and start all over again
How has this literally just occurred to me?
Just posting to see if anyone can relate and to help clear my head a bit
I wish I could rewind and start all over again
How has this literally just occurred to me?
Just posting to see if anyone can relate and to help clear my head a bit
0
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I'm 29 and pretty much the same
At the end of the day people are different.
Just because someone marries at 18 doesn't mean everyone will.
I'm near mid thirties never mind 26 and I'll probably never marry.
You say your just finishing Uni and your 26?
Did you just decide to Uni as an afterthought or what made you wait? Are you studying something you enjoy, or something else.
There's a big wide world out there, embrace it, you should be happy with yourself.
Love will find you when the times right. Never wish your life away.
Life's not like that though.
Cliched as it might be, it's a blank page and you can write whatever you want on it.
Funny thing is, the very fact that you're thinking about this stuff actually puts you ahead of an awful lot of people, who just do their jobs, spend their money, deal with whatever is happening right now and never really think about whether they're really achieving anything.
While we're doing all the cliches, I really don't think the vast majority of people (and certainly not the ones you'd want to get into a relationship with) are interested in looks.
What makes a person "attractive" is confidence and personality so, even if you might not realise it right now, your university education is going to be a benefit there so you probably haven't been wasting your time with it.
Might sound like "putting all your eggs in one basket" but I think that everybody should have something that they can be super-confident about.
Maybe they're really good at their job or maybe they're really good at a hobby or maybe they have some other talent.
Thing is, once you've got something that you're utterly confident about (however obscure it might be) it tends to give you confidence about other stuff in your life too, it gets easier to relax, enjoy yourself and that's when you find things start to come to you.
I like this post.
To the OP - I'm ion my 50s and still have periods of introspection. I sometimes think I'd like to go back and start again but that soon passes.
Good luck, remember that you are enough!
This this this. You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy every moment. Believe me it passes in a flash. Si's post was a good one.
Exactly. Someone mentioned cliches. Another one, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. I apply that to a lot more than "making other plans". Don't think that everyone, to whom you are comparing yourself, has "found themselves". They certainly haven't. It's an on going, often life long process. You're nearly finished uni. This is naturally a time of uncertainty, even fear, reflection and change. Don't decimate yourself in this process.
Nothing you are thinking over is immature either. I think it's simply tainted and a bit self diminishing, by apprehension.
Have you enjoyed your course and where did you originally want to go with your degree?
A positive here about being single is you only have yourself to worry about and care for.. Less chance of accepting something for the sake of it!
Be kinder to yourself?:)
Just go with the flow, and as said, just be happy to be you.
The bolded part is a favourite John Lennon quote of mine
I'm trying to be kinder to myself too and not feel guilty about what I choose/do, or listen to what other people say so much that might upset me.
No they dont, they are to bust having fun for new age nonsense
It was a quote written by a man named Allen Saunders way back in the 50s
In 1957, Saunders wrote the line, "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans," usually attributed to John Lennon
I'd concentrate on the practicalities, like your future career, and think less about your looks.
What matters most in life is your health and money, the latter hopefully from a job. If you obsess too much about looks and partners, you will not succeed at your career, as you will be distracted, and your health will suffer because you are miserable.
As far as partners, you are often better off without one. I really wouldn't worry about not getting one. Over the years I've found they are a drain on your time, money, emotions and health.
Good luck.
My only advice would be this: don't take anyone's advice, because when they give it to you they're really just talking to themselves and you can only know what they're really talking about by experiencing it yourself.
BIB. Lets be fair?:o
The scale is anywhere from that negativity to happiness and a friend for life.:)
Good for you. If anyone upsets you to that extent they certainly don't care about you.
Sod them all!
If he sticks with my version he won't worry so much about not having one ;-)