Acceptance Of Gay Family Members
Shady123
Posts: 4,506 Forum Member
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What's your view on acceptance of gay family members?
If anybody here is gay and wouldn't mind telling us how your family reacted or if you've discovered a family member is gay then feel free to share
I'm probably talking more specifically children so how parets react and how brothers/sisters react. In some cases it seems like a massive deal and maybe this could be down to religion or something of the like but it also comes across as a big deal in non religious situations as well.
If the person is happy then why should you make a deal out of it? Surely their happiness is the main thing.
So basically, with 2011 approaching and with it being in the 21st century, has the attitude towards gays really changed? I'd like to think it has but I don't know.
Speaking personally here, I have a few friends who are gay (some who go for the whole camp persona and others who are just the same as I) and frankly whoever people date is nothing to do with anybody but themselves. When I have kids i'll make sure they're raised with the intelligence that being gay is completely normal and if one of them does turn out gay then they won't feel ashamed or embarrassed because of it lime unfortunately some people still do today.
*wow, I feel all phylisophical (sp
)
If anybody here is gay and wouldn't mind telling us how your family reacted or if you've discovered a family member is gay then feel free to share
I'm probably talking more specifically children so how parets react and how brothers/sisters react. In some cases it seems like a massive deal and maybe this could be down to religion or something of the like but it also comes across as a big deal in non religious situations as well.
If the person is happy then why should you make a deal out of it? Surely their happiness is the main thing.
So basically, with 2011 approaching and with it being in the 21st century, has the attitude towards gays really changed? I'd like to think it has but I don't know.
Speaking personally here, I have a few friends who are gay (some who go for the whole camp persona and others who are just the same as I) and frankly whoever people date is nothing to do with anybody but themselves. When I have kids i'll make sure they're raised with the intelligence that being gay is completely normal and if one of them does turn out gay then they won't feel ashamed or embarrassed because of it lime unfortunately some people still do today.
*wow, I feel all phylisophical (sp
) 0
Comments
:mad:
Is he pretty camp? I suppose if they can drop hints from time to time then it won't seem like such a shock
Anyway i think my brither might be, but thats just a guess.
I had one friend (A) who has now died who had a gay son, and she loved his partner so much that she went on holiday with him and left her son at home (he was either working or didn't fancy the tours they had planned). She had a wonderful time and just wanted him to be happy, which he was. I think there was a brief sadness about grandchildren, but that was made up for by the wonderful relationship she had with them.
Another friend was actually an ex girlfriend of my late husband. Her mother never really accepted that her daughter was gay and kept going on about how she should have married my husband, even when I was there...!.Friend A tried to talk to her but it didn't do any good. The fact that her daughter had been in a loving relationship for 20+ years with someone with a superb job who adored her, just didn't count for anything.
But the worst scenerio was a friend of mine who died from AIDS. His partner had loved and cared for him during this dreadful disease for several years, but the deceased's parents didn't acknowledge either him or their relationship at the funeral. He wasn't allowed to sit with him or lead the mourning. It was dreadful situation. When the survivor finally died, his parents made sure that the relationship was addressed in the funeral and acknowledged the deep love that they had.
Having seen many scenarios over the years, Friend A had got it right. She had many years of wonderful times with her son and his partner, all of whom were comfortable with themselves and the situation. When she died there was no unfinished business, just years of loving memories.
As a Christian myself I have no time for these "Christians" who won't accept that most gay people did not choose to feel like this. And I do have some gay Christian friends who have had a difficult time coming to terms with their faith and their Christianity.
I have another cousin that has just come out as gay. He is 19, living in Australia. The family there are due to meet his boyfriend soon.
It's been no problem at all for them.
Why not make it simple for him and tell him you already know.
That way, no song and dance needs to be made of it as it should be.
I have never actually understood why it is that gay people have to come out at all. Straight people don't have to do anything at any time so why do gay people?
If someone presumes or assumes that someone is straight until declared otherwise, the don't do that.
I never had an official coming out at all ever. I mention it if I feel like it or if it's actually required and I decide to whom.
Coming out seems like a straight invention imposed by them on gay people to have to admit what we are on their demand.
I think if your gay it is best to let every one know and if they dont like then that they problem and they will get over it anyway.
Aww bless, what signs is he showing?
Anyway one Christmas my mother asked him in front of all the family when he was going to find a nice girl to marry. She knew he was gay but decided that humiliating him would fit in better with her Christian values.
She probably thinks it's just a phase (he's 55) and calls him a woofter as she doesn't think gay is a very nice word.
Mind you my parents have the same attitude towards black people, Muslims, working class people etc and anyone who doesn't live up to their nice middle-class, conservative, Christian values. It's like the Daily Mail incarnate in their household.
I found it rather ironic this Christmas that I got told off for saying shit but my father describes all black people as n*ggers. The venom in his voice when he says it turns my stomach.
bloody hell fire. :eek:
its like you have gone back to the 70s a la life on mars.
People need to stop looking at it as "Gay and "Straight" and just accept the fact that people will go out with others that suit themselves best. It would save a lot of hassle for folks.
She sounds very backward in her thinking.
Anyway from a personal point of view - I came out to my family 10 years ago on Saturday (probably not best time to do it - on the day of the new Millennium, but in for a penny and all that).
My grandmother was great - as I would expect. My mother wasn't so much. I had the usual selfish response of "what about grandchildren?". I later found out that she called some of my aunties to tell them in tears. None of them were surprised, even though I showed no signs of overt homosexuality.
She has come around to the idea now and realises that her response was due to ignorance on her part. Time can be a great healer. However, some peoples prejudices are so deep-seated that distancing yourself is often the best remedy, especially where mental health can be affected.
(and if you have a better survey then lets have it)
He's hair, he's voice, he's very camp, he thinks girls are yucky and he looks at guys private areas in mens toilets.
Actually it was 94% of the population tat identified as straight (important word that - identified as when other surveys have been done they've asked about sexual behaviour and not simply how someone thinks of themselves) 1,5% identified as gay or bisexual and around 4% refused to say.
i beg your pudden
Maybe I was just lucky.:D
Don't all men do that?
I don't.
Aww, bless. She got an entertaining one.
Family were told in 2005....and only now can I comfortably talk about it with my parents....and even more recently with my sisters and nieces around as well. I think my parents were hoping it was a "phase" or whatever - but the last few year they have watched me descend into depression and I guess they are okay with it.
There are still some members who don't mention it at all - and as a result I've drifted away from them - if they can't show interest in my life then why should I show interest in theirs.
Still have no boyfriend as despite being gay I'm not comfortable around other gay men - I'm having therapy for that soon - so there we have it.
It's hugely embarrassing, so I don't bring it up now.