How do I help my son get the right treatment for depression?
I have a 19 year old son who recently made a serious suicide attempt. He told his GP about suicidal thoughts a year ago, and after filling in some kind of assessment form, was found to have slight "low mood" and sent away and told to come back if things got worse.
Since the suicide attempt, he has been prescribed anti-depressants - a low dose - and CBT counselling, of which he has had 2 sessions, which haven't actually gone into any depth whatsoever.
Obviously, as his mum, I want to make sure my only child has the best chance of survival, to live the life he should have. He's so intelligent and lovely, but I'm worried that he's not getting the treatment he needs.
The suicide attempt was serious - he nearly died, and is still in pain from the muscle damage he suffered.
Any thoughts welcomed...
Since the suicide attempt, he has been prescribed anti-depressants - a low dose - and CBT counselling, of which he has had 2 sessions, which haven't actually gone into any depth whatsoever.
Obviously, as his mum, I want to make sure my only child has the best chance of survival, to live the life he should have. He's so intelligent and lovely, but I'm worried that he's not getting the treatment he needs.
The suicide attempt was serious - he nearly died, and is still in pain from the muscle damage he suffered.
Any thoughts welcomed...
0
Comments
How long has he been on the anti-depressants? They are usually started at a low dose and increased gradually- it can take up to six weeks for any effects to be seen.
As for the CBT- 2 sessions is nothing in the grand scheme of things, it takes time to get to know the therapist and vice versa. The first few sessions are usually getting-to-know-you stuff- making a formulation and agreeing a plan of action.
Meds and therapy are really all there is. These things take time unfortuntaely, but he sounds very lucky to have you for a mum- keep talking to him and telling him you love him.
xx
Maybe have a look round you're local area and see if there are any support groups which your son could attend when he's ready.
All the best x
Thanks. He's been on the anti-depressants for about six weeks, and he says they have stopped his mood from dipping so low. However, the muscle pain is getting him down. He says he's been told he will have about 6 CBT sessions, which doesn't seem like much.
He knows he's loved, but he'll go back to university in September, and I won't be able to be there for him. I know there's nothing I can really do to guarantee that he'll be safe.
Thank you. I will look into that option.
Six sessions doesn't seem like much- is that it? Could it be that after six sessions progress will be evaluated and maybe more sessions offered?
The NHS is so strapped and provision for 'talking therapies' is severely lacking- sometimes it feels as if they are only paying lip-service to the recommended guidelines.
Have you looked into private therapy/counselling? Some services offer a sliding scale of payments depending on the clients ability to pay. Is he still enrolled at Uni? Is there provision there for student support?
xxx
He has a few friends at uni but none of them live locally. I'm pretty sure my son would be annoyed if I contacted his friends, though.
The GP is prescribing the anti-depressants. We've been back several times about the muscle pain, but he hasn't come up with any effective pain relief.
I'll see how the CBT goes, and possibly look into private counselling. Would I ask the GP about that? Yes, there is counselling at uni, and he actually went along to see someone, but wasn't impressed by the help he got. Apparently, the counsellor advised him to get a girlfriend.
I am sorry to hear of your son's depression and I hope that he makes a full recovery in due course.
I would hope that he gets an ongoing series of CBT therapy sessions until such time as the counsellor thinks that they are no longer needed. I would also suggest asking your son if the low dose antidepressants are having the desired effect because a deep seated depression can require a larger antidepressant dose (something to be taken up with the GP).
You could see if this charity here http://www.mind.org.uk/ could provide any help and support, such as a local group. In addition there are some self help resources for your son here https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome and here http://www.overcoming.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=7670. I must stress that these resources should be used in addition to, and not in place of, CBT sessions and antidepressant medication.
I wish you and your son all the best.
Thank you for all the suggestions. We do have a list of useful organisations, but will wait and see how the CBT goes first.
My main fear is how he will cope when he goes back to university in September. He managed to keep up a pretence of everything being ok for the first two terms last year.
Urgh- hate that it's lazy and dismissive. I once got told that getting a cat would help me not focus on myself so much...
Not sure where you would go for advice on finding a private therapist. The GP might be able to help or the therapist that your son is seeing- might be a subject to talk about when his CBT comes to an end. Having said that- he may not need more, it might be that the six sessions and a good therapeutic doses of anti-depressants are enough.
For the next few weeks, I think 'wait and see' is the best thing to do, make sure that things don't deteriorate too much (but be aware that sometimes things can get worse before they get better) and try to be positive about the treatment even if you don't feel it.
That's certainly something we'll look into if necessary after the CBT is finished with.
I've since had psychosexual counselling through the NHS and it was terrible - as you said, just six sessions, with a counsellor who barely seemed to listen to what I was saying. If it hadn't been for that university one, I wouldn't have had any faith in counsellors whatsoever.
I'm glad you had a good experience of counselling. I'm hoping that my son will find something that enables him to deal with the feelings that drove him to despair.
Thanks for all the replies. I'll be away from the forum until tomorrow.
He's got a head start anyway from obviously having a mother who cares.
Sorry, I missed your reply about the counselling at university not being very good. I'm very sorry to hear that, it does seem to be a bit of a lottery when it comes to getting an effective counsellor.
Your son is very lucky that you're being so proactive and trying to do something. Many parents just bury their head in the sand. I hope you find something for him.
There are still three months to go and perhaps a decision can be made nearer the time. The university might allow your son to take a year out to recover and rejoin the lower year on the same course but the downside is that he'll be among strangers who've formed their own social groups.
Some universities are more coordinated than others (see the Tom Synnott case here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01r6p6l/sign/Saints_and_Scroungers_Series_4_Mooney_Abilitynet_Page/) and, during the summer break is there any chance of a arranging a potential medical and welfare support package for his return in September if he's well enough to return?
Good luck anyways.
I've found counselling to be very hit and miss; tell him if he feels he's getting nowhere with it, it may well be the counsellor not him at fault!
From my perspective, the best thing you can do for him is to reassure him of your unconditional love, no matter whether he acheives at uni or drops out, has friends/relationships or is a loner. He'll be putting a lot of pressure on himself to try to get better, your love, hugs and acceptance of him as he is will make a big difference.
If I can be of any use to him or you, please feel free to pm me xxx
It's great at dealing with certain things, like anxiety, and low-mood depression.
What C.B.T aims to do is equip you with the tools to deal with your problems. It's quite person-centred, which means that it isn't just a therapist talking at you, or you talking at a therapist.
It's more of a collaborative effort, and if your son gives it a chance it could help.
Of course there are no guarantees, and if your son feels it doesn't help he could request a different form of counselling.
The problem I guess, is the waiting lists and demand on the N.H.S are quite long/high.
I'd also suggest that he try seeing a psychiatrist, as they could help him find the right medication.
G.Ps don't necessarily have the knowledge of anti-depressants, and unfortunately, a lot of the time it can be quite trial and error.
He's adamant that he doesn't want to skip a year - he really wants to stick with the same year group. The university staff have been very kind and supportive to our son and us, and assured us that they will do whatever is needed to help. As long as he continues to reach out for help, I think he will get it. I just hope that he does reach out for the help. I know that when things got really bad for him that night, he says it didn't even occur to him to phone anyone. Of course, if he had rung us, we would have been there like a shot, yet he says his only thought was to end it all.
Thanks for the good wishes.:)
That's very kind of you. It's good to hear of your experience, and it makes me realise that there are things that really work. I have heard that late teens, early twenties is a particularly vulnerable age.
I hope he will get something out of the CBT. He realises that he has certain negative thought patterns that have become habitual. I imagine it must be quite difficult to change in that way. He has quite an "existential" view of life, which has probably come from me. Unfortunately, that seems to have led him to conclude that there is "no meaning".
Experiences with GPs have been slightly better but still leave a lot to be desired. They don't know much about depression/MH it seems, and I've been refused referrals. So basically the only option for me is anti-depressants and getting on with it.
The entire system is a joke. Young men between 18-24 are THEE highest at risk category of committing suicide in almost every country the world over. Despite that, the "support" I've had has been so sub-par, I now know why this group is more likely to commit suicide
If I were you I'd try not to interfere too much but definitely don't build your son's hopes up. There is no quick fix, and many people who are supposed to be able to help, simply do not. The only reason I go to my GP now is to get my meds and run. And just keep taking the meds as long as they're working (that's a whole other post....). Don't expect anything else, otherwise you're both likely to be disappointed and frustrated and if he is anything like me, will have an even increased want to kill himself.
It's a long and hard road and you can't have too much faith in others with dealing with it otherwise things are going to end very badly.
When my son tried to take his life, it was obviously a massive shock, and I kind of expected more advice, rather than just having him sent home from hospital with advice to visit the GP (who had dismissed him before when he told him he had suicidal thoughts). I think my son feels a certain amount of anger too, that despite his attempts to get help, what was available was not that useful.
I wish you all the best with your recovery.