Neighbour borrowing money
ba_baracus
Posts: 3,236 Forum Member
✭✭✭
My next door neighbour is somewhat of a stereotype - a council tenant, lives on benefits, doesn't work, she's loud, not particularly intelligent, spends her money on smoking, booze and bingo. Not the sort of person I would choose to associate with.
For the past 3 years or so she has been turning up at the door asking to borrow money. It started off as an occasional thing, and gradually became more and more regular until it became an almost weekly thing.
We usually give her £20, and she always pays it back, sometimes a few days later, or sometimes up to a week later depending on how many days until her next benefits payment. What is pretty much guaranteed is that a few days after she has repaid us, she is back again. Sometimes I even hand the same £20 note to her, that she repaid me a few days before.
Obviously she is in a cycle of repaying us £20 which then leaves her £20 short the following week, so she has to borrow this again a few days later. The classic payday loan trap, but without the interest.
So last week in an attempt to put a stop to this, my wife told her to keep the £20, we don't need it back and said that it would get her out of the constant cycle of debt to us.
Basically a large hint to stop constantly borrowing money, without spelling it out to her.
She failed to take the hint, as tonight she was back again >:(
This must stop, but i have no idea how. Since she has failed to take a rather large hint, I think we just have to straight out tell her that there will be no more loans. But I don't want to upset or fall out with her, as we have to live next door to her. Any idea how to tell her?
It's not even about the money, it's just about her constantly coming to the door, all the time.>:(
For the past 3 years or so she has been turning up at the door asking to borrow money. It started off as an occasional thing, and gradually became more and more regular until it became an almost weekly thing.
We usually give her £20, and she always pays it back, sometimes a few days later, or sometimes up to a week later depending on how many days until her next benefits payment. What is pretty much guaranteed is that a few days after she has repaid us, she is back again. Sometimes I even hand the same £20 note to her, that she repaid me a few days before.
Obviously she is in a cycle of repaying us £20 which then leaves her £20 short the following week, so she has to borrow this again a few days later. The classic payday loan trap, but without the interest.
So last week in an attempt to put a stop to this, my wife told her to keep the £20, we don't need it back and said that it would get her out of the constant cycle of debt to us.
Basically a large hint to stop constantly borrowing money, without spelling it out to her.
She failed to take the hint, as tonight she was back again >:(
This must stop, but i have no idea how. Since she has failed to take a rather large hint, I think we just have to straight out tell her that there will be no more loans. But I don't want to upset or fall out with her, as we have to live next door to her. Any idea how to tell her?
It's not even about the money, it's just about her constantly coming to the door, all the time.>:(
0
Comments
And note for the future: This is why you shouldn't help people out yourself. It seems to be human nature to take such generosity as a sign of weakness and they just keep coming back for more.
We cut our losses after the last loan, and told her that we weren't a bank. She didn't like it one bit, but tough titty. We haven't seen her for a couple of months.
Fortunately, she doesn't live that close to us anymore. She wasn't paying her rent when she lived down the street from us - surprise! - and she found an apartment in a low-cost housing building.
I know this is what needs to happen. I just don't know how to approach it in a tactful way. Maybe I shouldn't even bother trying to be tactful and just tell her straight when she next comes round to pay back tonight's loan.
She doesn't even come round for a chat. She only seems to come to the door to borrow or repay money, or ask some other kind of favour. She's always at the folk across the road too, so it makes me wonder if she borrows from them to pay us, and so on.
Don't answer the door.
I really hate to ask you but could I borrow £10 off you?
Seriously though this sounds like an ex neighbour of ours too. Started off with a cup of sugar. teabags, jar of coffee then the asking for money began. As they were invited in to our house regularly they began popping around every day. Until I realized the jacket one of them was wearing was my husbands and that a lot of my jewellery had gone missing. I would seriously warn people against starting to lend neighbours money etc. Not worth the hassle and the damned inconvenience of either answering the door, avoiding it or making up some excuse unless you have the balls to say no straight out.
I don't think she's a dishonest, so I don't think I have that to worry about. It is more just the inconvenience and annoyance of it. After getting in from a long day at work, I just can't be bothered with it. She has scrounged milk off us in the past though!
I think having the balls to say no is something I am going to have to work on.
It's a street of council houses, and former council houses that have been bought.
It was the best we could afford at the time when we were looking to buy, and she didn't live there at that time. She doesn't cause any trouble or anything.
Its bloody hard though isn't it?
You need to learn to say no or suck it up and have this forever (or move)
If this has been going on for 3 years then you deserve it.
Not that I believe this tale anyway.
Ignore her, end of story.
that means you repeatedly don't answer the door. If stopped in the street Carry on walking and say I'm sorry I'm busy. they can't ask you for money If you don't answer the door and you carry on walking in the street. If they ask you for money Somehow whether it's on your doorstep or in the street you say I'm sorry I don't have any. close the door or keep walking. If they go ape shit you ignore them. If they stop talking to you Even better. Don't speak to them at all Not even to say good morning. A quick smile is enough As you go past And keep walking
It started off with her needing electricity tokens, and just spiralled from there.
Just tell her you don't have spare money just now, if she questions or doubts it, just repeat we've got personal things going on and have no spare cash, and repeat it every time she turns up, until she gets the hint. Job done, none of her business and saves the apparent 'problems' of justifying why you won't give money away....
Living with LA residents, you should be more streetwise.;-) There are good LA residents but also spongers.
Weird book and doesnt sound very good : charity shop purchase ?
Thinking letting her keep the £20 one week will stop this cycle, is sort of like a maths problem that you can't figure out because you start from a false premise. Your neighbour may well have been short of £20 at one point, but having borrowed it from you it's not that she has got stuck in a cycle. She asked you and you gave it to her, and she now sees you as an early mark to get it every time she is short.
If you can't face saying a blunt no just because, just frown and look a bit depressed and imply your financial position has changed and you are struggling with debts and no longer have the money spare each week. She make think you're worse off than you are, but who cares.
It just might work