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Life after Mr Q
QwertyGirl1771
Posts: 4,472
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It's now just over three years since Mr Q passed away. Since then I've got back to working in a job I love and daughter is at college and is still with the police cadets. She also turns 18 next week. We have had highs and lows but we've stuck together and help each other out. I have no more contact with any of his family anymore. In fact his daughter says I'm not her mother so has no need to talk to me or my daughter anymore (which really hurts because I helped her out so much when she divorced and needed help with her own daughter).
Now the hardest part. For the past 17 months I have been seeing someone who has not only made me feel happy again but he also gets on brilliantly with my girl. Their birthdays are a day apart. We met at work not long after his mum passed away and we would talk a lot. At the time I just wasn't interested in a relationship, just wanted to work and earn enough to keep me and daughter going. But we got on so well, had a few dates till where we are now. I know Mr Q would be happy because he moved on when his first wife died and he wouldn't want me to be unhappy.
The person I have met has a good kind heart, is very considerate, funny, helpful and generous. And thankfully single. He's a few years older than me. Importantly my dog likes him too.
I just wanted to share this with you all. Please don't judge me because it was 20 months after Mr Q passed away. It wasn't as if Mr Q died then I started dating straight away. I had to concentrate on my daughter first and foremost as she had her GCSE'S at the time then enrolled into college. And she saw how me and my boyfriend get on. He spends time with her, plays the Wii together, laughing and joking. Which makes me happy. He likes the relationship I have with my girl and sees how we get on by ourselves. He's spending Christmas with us this year (not last year as I felt it was just too soon and we were together for 6 months at the time). I feel a lot for him, care a lot for him and grateful that I have met such a wonderful man.
Thank you for understanding. xxx
Now the hardest part. For the past 17 months I have been seeing someone who has not only made me feel happy again but he also gets on brilliantly with my girl. Their birthdays are a day apart. We met at work not long after his mum passed away and we would talk a lot. At the time I just wasn't interested in a relationship, just wanted to work and earn enough to keep me and daughter going. But we got on so well, had a few dates till where we are now. I know Mr Q would be happy because he moved on when his first wife died and he wouldn't want me to be unhappy.
The person I have met has a good kind heart, is very considerate, funny, helpful and generous. And thankfully single. He's a few years older than me. Importantly my dog likes him too.
I just wanted to share this with you all. Please don't judge me because it was 20 months after Mr Q passed away. It wasn't as if Mr Q died then I started dating straight away. I had to concentrate on my daughter first and foremost as she had her GCSE'S at the time then enrolled into college. And she saw how me and my boyfriend get on. He spends time with her, plays the Wii together, laughing and joking. Which makes me happy. He likes the relationship I have with my girl and sees how we get on by ourselves. He's spending Christmas with us this year (not last year as I felt it was just too soon and we were together for 6 months at the time). I feel a lot for him, care a lot for him and grateful that I have met such a wonderful man.
Thank you for understanding. xxx
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I used the question marks after 'shame' because I wasn't sure of the emotion I was reading between the lines. You most definitely expect a lot of recrimination to be thrown your way, and I don't believe you should get any. Do you have a preconceived idea about a mourning period, that sort of thing?
Well, if people do think it's wrong then they're ultra-judgmental and shouldn't be listened to. You said it yourself: your Mr Q moved on and he'd be happy for you to do so, so that's all that should matter. You've looked after your daughter, she adores your new man and so does your dog, and that's that.
As MartinPickering said: Go for it, gal!
Happiness with another is hard enough to find once in life , let alone twice.
Go for it and enjoy life.
Your daughter and dog are OK with it all, so that's validation if ever you needed it !
It's a shame that Mr Q's daughter is not supportive, but she is her own person, and that is her decision, and maybe it is understandable in a way.
What's more important is that your daughter is supportive. Good luck for your future. I hope everything works out.
I remember it to and the incredible love you had for Mr Q and the total heartbreak you felt at his loss.
It does my heart good to know that you have found someone and have moved on with such dignity. I know if I died I would want my loved ones to find happiness and peace as I am sure most would.
Good luck to you and your daughter and your future.
Good luck to you.
How wonderful for you that you have found another good man.
MrQ would be pleased for you.
Your dog likes him, well that is that in my opinion
All the very best to you all x
This isn't a rehearsal - this is it.
Go for it and be happy you met two good men.
Do the same OP and the very best of luck to you.
This has just made me cry.
Just goes to show that somewhere there is a soulmate out there. Best wishes to your Aunt and her boyfriend.
And thank you all for your lovely, kind words xxx
Have a fabulous Christmas,.
xx
Can I ask about this bit though? What's going on there, how did it sort of end or break down? Was something said?
I ask because your situation is similar to a lady in our road, and at first, the late husbands family were around all the time, including family businesses doing work or favours, but then it all stopped and they were never seen again. I wondered how such bonds can break so easily.
I remember that too
So the contact stopped before you met your new man? Did they suddenly stop contact or was it gradual. It seems strange that the whole family doesn't want to be in touch. I feel for you.
As for your new man, I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to find new love and no guilt should be felt at all.