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Should women stay in the home like they used to?

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    What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    alfster wrote: »
    Strangely enough not just my mother but the mothers of the large majority of kids when I was growing up stayed at home and we didn't have the lack of respect and problems to the extent we have now.

    Hence, not just based on my experience. Having a guiding infulence through the formative years of life does increase the chances of people integrating into society in a productive and desirable way.
    I don’t see any respect in your attitude towards working mothers, especially your belief that their children do not have a guiding influence in their life. I see a great deal of lack of respect in it though.
    The father would instill a good work-ethic into the child.
    Really? In a girl child who is taught that her place is in the home like her mothers. How would he manage to instil in her the belief that she has the right to have choices, achieve thinks in life, make her own career path etc when there are no real examples of that around her? A role model is someone who shows children what they can achieve not just pays lip service to it.
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    kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,250
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    alfster wrote: »
    Strangely enough not just my mother but the mothers of the large majority of kids when I was growing up stayed at home and we didn't have the lack of respect and problems to the extent we have now.

    Hence, not just based on my experience. Having a guiding infulence through the formative years of life does increase the chances of people integrating into society in a productive and desirable way.

    What sort of role model wou a 'stay at home' mother make...with a go to work father? Well, as I have said a better chance of having proper respect for people and not be part of the 'me-I-deserve-everything-I-want-because-I-can-have-it' generation (Informed opinion from teachers and university lecturers I know). The father would instill a good work-ethic into the child.
    I was brought up before you in the 60s and 70s and what you say doesn't reflect my experience of family and friends.

    When I was growing up, though, some people said much the same as you about earlier times. There seems to have been a tendency for some to think life was so much better c 30 years ago from the current time and things would be again if people returned to 'traditional values'. It's a common theme in social history.

    That's what the Tories were also banging on about in the 80s, after all, despite what you say about Thatcher.

    But controlling women's choices* (or men's) is certainly no solution to any problem.

    * as far as people have choices
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    kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,250
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    Toby_Jugg wrote: »
    Wish somebody had expained that to my sisters when I was growing up!!!!
    I wish someone had said something different to my brother!
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    pugamopugamo Posts: 18,039
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    alfster wrote: »
    Strangely enough not just my mother but the mothers of the large majority of kids when I was growing up stayed at home and we didn't have the lack of respect and problems to the extent we have now.

    Hence, not just based on my experience. Having a guiding infulence through the formative years of life does increase the chances of people integrating into society in a productive and desirable way.

    What sort of role model wou a 'stay at home' mother make...with a go to work father? Well, as I have said a better chance of having proper respect for people and not be part of the 'me-I-deserve-everything-I-want-because-I-can-have-it' generation (Informed opinion from teachers and university lecturers I know). The father would instill a good work-ethic into the child.

    Why can a stay at home father not be a guiding influence?

    Why can't the mother instill a work ethic in the child?

    At what point does a child stop having respect for people because their mother goes to work? From my point of view, a strong working mother is an excellent role model - I know, I have one. Believe it or not, I also have 'proper' respect for people too, and I enjoy working. Now why would that be?
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    pickwickpickwick Posts: 25,739
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    alfster wrote: »
    Strangely enough not just my mother but the mothers of the large majority of kids when I was growing up stayed at home and we didn't have the lack of respect and problems to the extent we have now.
    Ah, looks like it's that time again!

    "What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"

    Plato - 400BC.
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    jesayajesaya Posts: 35,597
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    kimindex wrote: »
    As well as men still partially being brought up to feel entitled to be in control, to be the 'head of the household' (and, if that's lessened a lot now, it certainly was the case in the past, with even brothers (generally speaking) thinking of themselves as in charge of sisters (and sometimes being told they were by their mothers, as well as their fathers). (Some women think the same, of course).

    I think anyone bringing their child up as being entitled to be in control of someone else is doing them a disservice.

    Absolutely.. if they are not 'in charge' then they are raised to think they are not a 'real man'. Sad,

    I remember reading this in a novel once - a woman saying her lot in life was to be "passed from the charge of father to brother to husband to son". Time that was done with.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 195
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    Dr Kim wrote: »
    I personally believe the lack of jobs today is down to the fact that women are leaving the home to go to work, even women who are married and have children. Do you think we should revert back to the old ways of the women working in the home and spending their time raising children whilst the man goes out to work?

    I personally do and it would create alot of jobs too. The only exception would be women who are musicians, actresses.

    Actually we have reverted back to the old ways. This whole stay at home mum thing only came about in the mid-1800's. Even then women on very low incomes would still work. By the 1900's, it slowly became normal again for women to be in the workplace.

    I am only a stay at home mum because I am studying for a degree (which is why I know about what I just mentioned) and because my 6yr old is currently only at school part time. The moment I am in a position to return to work, I fully intend to.
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    kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,250
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    jesaya wrote: »
    Absolutely.. if they are not 'in charge' then they are raised to think they are not a 'real man'. Sad,

    I remember reading this in a novel once - a woman saying her lot in life was to be "passed from the charge of father to brother to husband to son". Time that was done with.
    And never mind what sort of person any of those were. As well as there being loads of kind and wonderful men, you could be in the control of a brute and be told that was the natural order of things, along with it.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,282
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    Many women need to work because one salary is not enough to settle all the bills.

    Even a husband's salary is high enough to pay all the bills, it's better for the wife to work. In case marriage goes wrong and the wife wants to leave home, she still has the means to live on her own. Being financially independent, one can have more choices.
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    Dr KimDr Kim Posts: 845
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    Tech Lover wrote: »
    Many women need to work because one salary is not enough to settle all the bills.

    Even a husband's salary is high enough to pay all the bills, it's better for the wife to work. In case marriage goes wrong and the wife wants to leave home, she still has the means to live on her own. Being financially independent, one can have more choices.

    You live within your means, how do you think single batchelors go non living on their own? or single women on their own? they have to deal with it. The only reason both parents work nowadays is because of the desire for more money and to pay of mortgages and debt.
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    stoatiestoatie Posts: 78,106
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    Dr Kim wrote: »
    You live within your means, how do you think single batchelors go non living on their own? or single women on their own? they have to deal with it. The only reason both parents work nowadays is because of the desire for more money and to pay of mortgages and debt.

    Or maybe because two people need twice as much food etc as one?
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    Dr KimDr Kim Posts: 845
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    stoatie wrote: »
    Or maybe because two people need twice as much food etc as one?

    haha best thing i have heard all day, you do realise most food products come in twos dont you? :D
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    PerpetualAscentPerpetualAscent Posts: 484
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    Dr Kim wrote: »
    haha best thing i have heard all day, you do realise most food products come in twos dont you? :D

    I don't think there's ever been a more appropriate time for this:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,897
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    Dr Kim wrote: »
    You live within your means, how do you think single batchelors go non living on their own? or single women on their own? they have to deal with it. The only reason both parents work nowadays is because of the desire for more money and to pay of mortgages and debt.

    How about single parents? Specifically single mothers if you're so concerned about us working?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 611
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    alfster wrote: »
    Strangely enough not just my mother but the mothers of the large majority of kids when I was growing up stayed at home and we didn't have the lack of respect and problems to the extent we have now.

    Hence, not just based on my experience. Having a guiding infulence through the formative years of life does increase the chances of people integrating into society in a productive and desirable way.

    What sort of role model wou a 'stay at home' mother make...with a go to work father? Well, as I have said a better chance of having proper respect for people and not be part of the 'me-I-deserve-everything-I-want-because-I-can-have-it' generation (Informed opinion from teachers and university lecturers I know). The father would instill a good work-ethic into the child.

    How would you feel about a stay-at-home father and a working mother?
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    skipjack79skipjack79 Posts: 3,250
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    How would you feel about a stay-at-home father and a working mother?

    Any bloke who found himself in that position should be ashamed of himself.
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    Speak-SoftlySpeak-Softly Posts: 24,737
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    Perhaps we should restrict girls access to education too. After all it is just a waste of money if they are going to spend their lives cooking, cleaning & changing nappies.

    Of all the posts on this thread, this is the one I find most offensive in some ways.

    This attitude is what's making life hell. The idea that raising children is so unimportant that it can be farmed out to those on low wages, low educational achievements and it's so bloody easy, a person doing it doesn't need an education.

    This is the result to some extent of the very militant feminism I mentioned earlier in the thread.

    How dare you say that raising children doesn't require somebody to be educated?
    Even suggest that without paid employment, a person doesn't have a job that requires education?

    When are women going to wake up and realise they have been sold a f*cking great lie?
    That they have been turned into the same nameless drones that men were turned into years ago when getting a promotion was seen as the ultimate achievement of their existance.

    When you're buried, what does it usually say on a gravestone?

    In loving memory of a loving mother/father/husband/wife/sister/brother?

    Or "Joe/Joleen Bloggs, middle manager who improved office efficiency 16%"?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 611
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    Dr Kim wrote: »
    haha best thing i have heard all day, you do realise most food products come in twos dont you? :D

    You're not a real doctor are you?

    Come on, admit it.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 14,284
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    skipjack79 wrote: »
    Any bloke who found himself in that position should be ashamed of himself.

    Why is that? Genuine question.
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    skipjack79skipjack79 Posts: 3,250
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    You're not a real doctor are you?

    Come on, admit it.

    Are you a stay-at-home father? You can't possibly be giving grief to working lads when you're a house-husband?
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    skipjack79skipjack79 Posts: 3,250
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    Why is that? Genuine question.

    If you have to ask the question, then we're on a significantly different wavelength.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 14,284
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    skipjack79 wrote: »
    Are you a stay-at-home father? You can't possibly be giving grief to working lads when you're a house-husband?

    What's wrong with a house-husband? If looking after children and the house is such crap work and not worthy as paid employment outside the house, why the f**k is it okay if women do it?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 14,284
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    skipjack79 wrote: »
    If you have to ask the question, then we're on a significantly different wavelength.

    I suspect we are, but I'd still like an answer to the question, since I asked it.
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    Jane Doh!Jane Doh! Posts: 43,307
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    skipjack79 wrote: »
    Any bloke who found himself in that position should be ashamed of himself.

    That's a rather archaic attitude.
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    skipjack79skipjack79 Posts: 3,250
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    Jane Doh! wrote: »
    That's a rather archaic attitude.

    I don't doubt that for a second.
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