Moving away for career
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Hi,
I was hoping to obtain some advice from the worldly wise out there.
I have been living in Wales all my life, didn't even move away to university because I wanted to keep costs low and the right course was only up the road.
However, after graduating, I worked for a while and regretted not studying further to pursue my dream job, so rather than live with regret and what ifs, I went back to college and took on a course which I've nearly completed.
However, I now have to begin to job search and unfortunately, that means looking all over the UK. This scares the hell out of me, I knew that it would have to be done but now that the time is actually here, I'm terrified.
The prospect of going to a new city, starting a very busy job with no friends, especially my closest friend and no family for support really gets me down. I don't know if I can do it! However, if I don't then I'll be stuck in a dead end job, searching for jobs that may never appear, which will make me miserable. I took the chance to go for what I wanted, because life was just pissing me off when I wasn't but now I'm just anxious about what the future holds.
It's not just the family and friends issue that concerns me, it's the fact that I'll have to leave Wales, I love this country and am proud to be Welsh and the thought of leaving it makes me blue. I know that sounds stupid and very patriotic (I don't think Wales is perfect by any means, but it's my home and as Dorothy says, there's no place like home)
Has anyone been in a situation like me? Have you been a homebody and then had to leave? How do you chancge the fear into a positive way of thinking?
Or are there people out there who think I'm being a big baby and should grow a pair and just get on with it?
Any advice or information would be appreciated.
Cheers
I was hoping to obtain some advice from the worldly wise out there.
I have been living in Wales all my life, didn't even move away to university because I wanted to keep costs low and the right course was only up the road.
However, after graduating, I worked for a while and regretted not studying further to pursue my dream job, so rather than live with regret and what ifs, I went back to college and took on a course which I've nearly completed.
However, I now have to begin to job search and unfortunately, that means looking all over the UK. This scares the hell out of me, I knew that it would have to be done but now that the time is actually here, I'm terrified.
The prospect of going to a new city, starting a very busy job with no friends, especially my closest friend and no family for support really gets me down. I don't know if I can do it! However, if I don't then I'll be stuck in a dead end job, searching for jobs that may never appear, which will make me miserable. I took the chance to go for what I wanted, because life was just pissing me off when I wasn't but now I'm just anxious about what the future holds.
It's not just the family and friends issue that concerns me, it's the fact that I'll have to leave Wales, I love this country and am proud to be Welsh and the thought of leaving it makes me blue. I know that sounds stupid and very patriotic (I don't think Wales is perfect by any means, but it's my home and as Dorothy says, there's no place like home)
Has anyone been in a situation like me? Have you been a homebody and then had to leave? How do you chancge the fear into a positive way of thinking?
Or are there people out there who think I'm being a big baby and should grow a pair and just get on with it?
Any advice or information would be appreciated.
Cheers
0
Comments
At the end of the day, you are Welsh and regardless of where you go in the world, you will always take a part of Wales with you. Nothing will ever change that - Wales will always be your home, your sanctuary, and a large part of who you are.
I think one thing you have to bear in mind though is that you can always go home. It will always be there for you, with your family and friends. Even if you do move away, it doesn't have to be forever, and it might even make Wales that much more special, as you'll be able to visit family and friends and enjoy yourself, rather than it just being where you live.
Will you regret not getting that dream job in 10/20/30 years time? Even if you try it and are so utterly homesick you have to move back to Wales after a month, at least you can say you tried.
How about a compromise, and look for your dream career in Wales, or just over the border?
Unfortunately, the chances of getting a job in Wales are slim, especially at the moment!
I know I owe it to myself to at least try but it's just daunting. Currently, if I have a bad day, my mate will come over and cheer me up or we go to the local pub or I can whinge to my parents but in a new city I won't be able to do that. I will be completely alone, at least for a while.
I spose you can take the girl out of Wales, but you can't take Wales out of the girl eh?!
I just hope it's worth it, I guess life is all about taking risk right?
As others have said why not give it a go, especially as you have worked so hard with your studies. At the end of the day if it isn't for you, then home is always waiting to welcome you back with open arms. I have always believed it is better to regret something you have done than something you didn't do.
To college in Oxford (St Pollys)
To London for the first job
Libya for 2 years (knew a couple of people I'd be working with)
Back to London (knew no-one)
Up to Aberdeen with a weekly commute to Fort William
If you don't go, you'll sit in Wales for the rest of your life regretting not going
If you go and don't like it you can always got back to Wales
My parents emigrated continents twice in their lifetime and both my sisters live on different continents now as well. And speaking to them when I was looking at emigrating as well, it is hard but to them home is not about where you live but about friends and family and what you make of it. Its weird for a long time after moving, if I referred to home, I meant where I grew up but now it means where I have created my own life.
Basically, what have you got to lose to give it a go. Get a short term rent and if it does not work out then I am sure your parents will welcome you back.
the worldly wise can say a variety of things but its you who has to do....
how do you feel about going?
what are your fears?
whats the worse thing you think could happen to you?
whats the best thing you think could happen to you?
are you scared of failure?
are you worried about going back home with nothing to show?
how would you feel if you didnt go?
I pretty much think, if you answer those questions you will find your answer...
good luck
I am a bit of a homebird in the sense that my family are very important to me, and I do miss them when I'm away and enjoy going home to relax. But it doesn't take long for me to get completely bored with NI and want to be back on the mainland, and I hate the isolation from uni friends that comes with living more than a train journey away from anywhere in England. I look at friends who have stayed at home and are settling down and I couldn't think of anything worse for myself. I would really regret it if I didn't persevere and stay away as I honestly don't think I would have as fulfilling a life back home.
So I'm staying away after uni, moving down to London and working there for the foreseeable future. The problem for me is only with how far away my parents live - I would have no qualms at all about it if they were only a train ride away, my loneliness comes from knowing I can't just jump on a train if I've had a bad week, and short-notice flights are too expensive. Being organised about when I see family is slightly irritating, but it's really my only complaint.
Not seeing my family as much will take a lot of getting used to - I at least see them every couple of months at the minute - but so will not seeing my uni friends as much once I graduate this summer. Life moves on, and as much as I will definitely miss the chance to see my friends every day and the comfort of living at home, life is also short, so I personally believe that everyone should grab opportunities while they can
And of course there's always Skype - I can at least see my parents once a week or so, and my sister and friends at different unis - people a generation ago weren't so lucky!
What is the area of work you are looking for? Surely one of of the bigger Welsh Cities, Cardiff, Swansea, etc will have jobs for pretty much every profession?
Get out there, find your dream job and the rest will follow. You're just imagining the negatives at the moment; if you have a really fulfilling job then a new home, new friends and the rest will follow.
If someone has lots of good friends in one place, they'll make friends in another place. And it's good and healthy to switch cultures. At least you'll be speaking English... well, unless you head for mainland Europe.
Good luck. And you can always retire to Wales! Or, you may find that after some years of work and experience and promotion, you'll be qualified for an excellent job back in your home country. :cool:
Not necessarily, some professions are heavily oversubscribed!
I guess fear can blur common sense, and sometimes being scared is a good thing!
I can always look at it as a fresh start, something to embrace rather than be scared. It might do me the world of good, standing completely on my own two feet.
I just imagine, feeling really low and having no-one around me, who really knows me and understands me, that isolated feeling, but there's always weekends and holidays etc.
I guess it's an exciting prospect, you only get one shot at life right?
I'm Welsh too and can't imagine ever living more than an hour's drive away from the border. My whole world is here! I think that if you've lived in the same area all your life (like I did - went to the uni 'down the road'), then it's harder to break away than if you've travelled / moved previously. I've been a homebody all my life and never found a job to tempt me away - my emotional ties are strong. I went for a scholarship to study scriptwriting in LA and got down to the final 2... but it seemed so unreal, I didn't feel ready to go and I realise that I self-sabotaged the interview rather than risk succeeding and having to chose whether to stay or go. Only a fleeting moment was spent in regret. The guy I was up against really wanted to go, a lot more than I did.
If you go, you can always come back. But only you can make the decision.
For the first time in ten years I've seen one that I want to apply for.. I'll move back there in a shot if I get it.