So that's how they do it! There are no journalist left at the Mail, just a computer churning out stories about cancer, immigrants and hard-working families.
Meanwhile over at the Telegraph journalists have been replaced by teenagers who spend all day surfing the web coming up with stories like "Skateboarding Chimp is Youtube Hit" or "Facebook Girl Considering Going on Game to Pay University Fees".
WILL CYCLISTS HAVE SEX WITH DRIVERS?
IS BINGE DRINKING DESTROYING PENSIONERS?
WILL THE FRENCH HAVE SEX WITH THE QUEEN?
HAVE FOXES HAD SEX WITH CLIFF RICHARD?
WILL BRUSSELS MAKE BRITAIN'S SWANS IMPOTENT?
COULD HEALTH AND SAFETY HURT TAXPAYERS' MONEY?
WILL HEALTH AND SAFETY KILL THE QUEEN?
HAS RIP-OFF BRITAIN MADE BRITAIN'S FARMERS IMPOTENT?
ARE THE POLES GIVING BRITISH JUSTICE CANCER?
COULD TEENAGE SEX INFECT PENSIONERS WITH AIDS?
WILL BRUSSELS DEFRAUD PROPERTY PRICES?
Will Brussels Kill The Middle Class?
Could Yobs Give The British People Cancer? :d
Have Yobs Ruined The Memory Of Diana?
Will Teenage Sex Rip Off Britain's Farmers?
Are Paedophiles Burgling Your Pension?
Has The Nanny State Taxed Drivers?
Could Chavs Ruin The Queen?
Will Cyclists Infect Property Prices With Aids?
Could Channel 4 Defraud The Queen?
Could Your Local Council Rip Off The Countryside?
Has Feminism Made The Queen Impotent?
Is The Labour Party Destroying Your Daughters?
Has Feminism Given Your Daughters Cancer?
Are Cyclists Burgling Middle Britain?
IS CHANNEL 4 HURTING THE MIDDLE CLASS?
COULD THE MMR JAB STEAL THE IDENTITY OF MIDDLE BRITAIN?
COULD THE MMR JAB KILL THE QUEEN?
ARE SINGLE MOTHERS GIVING TAXPAYERS CANCER?
COULD THE GERMANS TAX YOUR DAUGHTERS?
COULD THE EURO TURN YOU GAY?
THey're all immense but my favourite is the last one.
Has Rip-off Britain Had Sex With The Royal Family?
Have Brussels Bureaucrats Ruined Your Children?
Has The Euro Turned Hard-working Families Gay?
Have The Germans Scrounged Off Your Pension?
Will Cyclists Rip Off Pensioners?
Will The House Price Crash Steal The Identity Of Your Children?
Have The P.c. Brigade Infected Britain's Farmers With Aids?
Has The Labour Party Turned Taxpayers Gay?
Are Teache]rs Infecting Britain's Swans With Aids?
Has Political Correctness Made The Middle Class Obese?
Will Working Mothers Kill Taxpayers?
Could The Euro Make The Royal Family Obese?
Could Dumbing-down Turn Your House Gay?
Could Twitter Give Your Daughters Cancer?
Are Lesbians Making Cliff Richard Obese?
Could Binge Drinking Tax Your Pets?
Could The House Price Crash Scrounge Off Pensioners?
Is The Nanny State Making The Church Obese?
Will The Metric System Devalue British Sovereignty?
Are Teachers Turning Your Mortgage Gay?
Will Political Correctness Give Your Pension Cancer?
Will Cancer Hurt Drivers?
Has Filth On Television Had Sex With Hard-working Families?
My mate put that up on Facebook the other day with the note "ARE LESBIANS BURGLING THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY? I HOPE SO!" and one of my other mates spotted it and ran about twelve DM headline statuses.
Him: WILL RUSSELL BRAND TURN THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?
Me: YES!
Him: SHIT!!!
WILL CHANNEL 4 GIVE THE QUEEN CANCER?
COULD THE BBC HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PENSION?
COULD HEALTH AND SAFETY RUIN THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?
HAVE THE PC BRIGADE STOLEN THE IDENTITY OF THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
HAVE IMMIGRANTS KILLED DRIVERS?
IS BINGE DRINKING GIVING BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
HAVE FERAL CHILDREN GIVEN BRITAIN'S FARMERS DIABETES?
IS THE LABOUR PARTY SCROUNGING OFF THE CHURCH?
HAS RIP-OFF BRITAIN IMPREGNATED YOUR PETS?
WILL THE E.U. STEAL FROM CLIFF RICHARD?
WILL CYCLISTS MAKE PENSIONERS IMPOTENT?
WILL HOODIES BURGLE YOUR CHILDREN?
COULD THE METRIC SYSTEM STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR MORTGAGE?
HAVE CYCLISTS INFECTED HOUSE PRICES WITH AIDS?
HAVE TEACHERS KILLED TAXPAYERS?
HAS TWITTER HAD SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
WILL DUMBING-DOWN STEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE CHURCH?
alan29
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COULD IMMIGRANTS MAKE THE ROYAL FAMILY IMPOTENT?
WILL MUSLIMS DEVALUE HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?
WILL MUSLIMS MAKE TAXPAYERS' MONEY IMPOTENT?
These stories and more in the tomorrow's edition!
Meanwhile over at the Telegraph journalists have been replaced by teenagers who spend all day surfing the web coming up with stories like "Skateboarding Chimp is Youtube Hit" or "Facebook Girl Considering Going on Game to Pay University Fees".
WILL CYCLISTS HAVE SEX WITH DRIVERS?
IS BINGE DRINKING DESTROYING PENSIONERS?
WILL THE FRENCH HAVE SEX WITH THE QUEEN?
HAVE FOXES HAD SEX WITH CLIFF RICHARD?
WILL BRUSSELS MAKE BRITAIN'S SWANS IMPOTENT?
COULD HEALTH AND SAFETY HURT TAXPAYERS' MONEY?
WILL HEALTH AND SAFETY KILL THE QUEEN?
HAS RIP-OFF BRITAIN MADE BRITAIN'S FARMERS IMPOTENT?
ARE THE POLES GIVING BRITISH JUSTICE CANCER?
COULD TEENAGE SEX INFECT PENSIONERS WITH AIDS?
WILL BRUSSELS DEFRAUD PROPERTY PRICES?
Could Yobs Give The British People Cancer? :d
Have Yobs Ruined The Memory Of Diana?
Will Teenage Sex Rip Off Britain's Farmers?
Are Paedophiles Burgling Your Pension?
Has The Nanny State Taxed Drivers?
Well I've not seen it before, so thanks to the OP.
Will Cyclists Infect Property Prices With Aids?
Could Channel 4 Defraud The Queen?
Could Your Local Council Rip Off The Countryside?
Has Feminism Made The Queen Impotent?
Is The Labour Party Destroying Your Daughters?
Has Feminism Given Your Daughters Cancer?
Are Cyclists Burgling Middle Britain?
COULD THE MMR JAB STEAL THE IDENTITY OF MIDDLE BRITAIN?
COULD THE MMR JAB KILL THE QUEEN?
ARE SINGLE MOTHERS GIVING TAXPAYERS CANCER?
COULD THE GERMANS TAX YOUR DAUGHTERS?
COULD THE EURO TURN YOU GAY?
THey're all immense but my favourite is the last one.
Have Brussels Bureaucrats Ruined Your Children?
Has The Euro Turned Hard-working Families Gay?
Have The Germans Scrounged Off Your Pension?
Will Cyclists Rip Off Pensioners?
Will The House Price Crash Steal The Identity Of Your Children?
Have The P.c. Brigade Infected Britain's Farmers With Aids?
Are Teache]rs Infecting Britain's Swans With Aids?
Has Political Correctness Made The Middle Class Obese?
Will Working Mothers Kill Taxpayers?
Could The Euro Make The Royal Family Obese?
Could Dumbing-down Turn Your House Gay?
Could Twitter Give Your Daughters Cancer?
Are Lesbians Making Cliff Richard Obese?
Could The House Price Crash Scrounge Off Pensioners?
Is The Nanny State Making The Church Obese?
Will The Metric System Devalue British Sovereignty?
Are Teachers Turning Your Mortgage Gay?
Will Political Correctness Give Your Pension Cancer?
Will Cancer Hurt Drivers?
Has Filth On Television Had Sex With Hard-working Families?
Him: WILL RUSSELL BRAND TURN THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?
Me: YES!
Him: SHIT!!!
I like the Daily Mail.
And, don't forget, they were the only British paper to support the ideas promugated by NAZI Germany prior to WW2.
DAILY MAIL: MAKES YOU PROUD TO BE BRITISH!
COULD THE BBC HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PENSION?
COULD HEALTH AND SAFETY RUIN THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?
HAVE THE PC BRIGADE STOLEN THE IDENTITY OF THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
HAVE IMMIGRANTS KILLED DRIVERS?
IS BINGE DRINKING GIVING BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
HAVE FERAL CHILDREN GIVEN BRITAIN'S FARMERS DIABETES?
IS THE LABOUR PARTY SCROUNGING OFF THE CHURCH?
The first two made me lol
Hahahahaaha :cool:
WILL THE E.U. STEAL FROM CLIFF RICHARD?
WILL CYCLISTS MAKE PENSIONERS IMPOTENT?
WILL HOODIES BURGLE YOUR CHILDREN?
COULD THE METRIC SYSTEM STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR MORTGAGE?
HAVE CYCLISTS INFECTED HOUSE PRICES WITH AIDS?
HAVE TEACHERS KILLED TAXPAYERS?
HAS TWITTER HAD SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
WILL DUMBING-DOWN STEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE CHURCH?
But my personal favourite:
IS THE EURO HAVING SEX WITH YOUR PETS?
It certainly is
HAS CHANNEL 4 TAXED TAXPAYERS?
COULD FACEBOOK TURN HOUSE PRICES GAY?
ARE SINGLE MOTHERS DESTROYING BRITAIN'S FARMERS?
WILL YOBS MOLEST BRITISH JUSTICE?
COULD TEACHERS BURGLE YOUR HOUSE?
HAS CHANNEL 4 GIVEN THE CHURCH CANCER?
Genius