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Am I overprotective?- 9 yr old and public Loos...

shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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in Advice #1
Hello
just wondered about peoples thoughts on kids going on their own into public toilets?

my son is 9 and for the past year on the occasion we have had to use a public loo, he was complaining 'but I am a BOY' about having to go into the ladies with me (if we are out with my OH, he will go in the mens with him)

I just dont feel comfortable letting him go in on his own, you never know whos in there (on another note hes dyspraxic and is hit and miss about whether he can do his button up without help)

we used to try to find disabled loos to solve it but of late they all seem to have locks on

am I over protective? should I let him go on his own?
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    CruachanCruachan Posts: 7,211
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    #2
    shmisk wrote: »
    am I over protective? should I let him go on his own?

    Nice pun :)
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    shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    #3
    boom boom ttsh...I mean in on his own....
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    marietsmariets Posts: 1,262
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    #4
    If he has a disability then you are justified in taking him in to the ladies, but if he wants to go by himself then you'll have to just wait outside for him and check that he's all done up..
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    whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    #5
    Yes, he's got to learn to be in the loo by himself at some point, and 9 is quite old for him to be in the ladies loo. What if there are young girls in there? Not sure they would be too thrilled about seeing a 9 year old boy!
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    shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    #6
    whackyracer wrote: »
    Yes, he's got to learn to be in the loo by himself at some point, and 9 is quite old for him to be in the ladies loo. What if there are young girls in there? Not sure they would be too thrilled about seeing a 9 year old boy!

    see hes my only child and I dont have relatives to run things by and my mates all have girls!

    I try to avoid it in general but at times he cant wait til we get home

    but thank you!
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    marietsmariets Posts: 1,262
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    #7
    whackyracer wrote: »
    Yes, he's got to learn to be in the loo by himself at some point, and 9 is quite old for him to be in the ladies loo. What if there are young girls in there? Not sure they would be too thrilled about seeing a 9 year old boy!

    Ladies loos are all cubicle, I doubt he's gonna pee in the sink...
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    whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    #8
    mariets wrote: »
    Ladies loos are all cubicle, I doubt he's gonna pee in the sink...

    That's exactly what I said wasn't it:rolleyes:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 387
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    #9
    You can easily get a key for disabled toilets for a small charge.

    It has saved my blushes many a time but then I do have MS.


    http://www.radar-shop.org.uk/
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    alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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    #10
    I think 9 is old enough - I can appreciate your concerns, but he's not that little any more, and the fact he's embarrassed about going into the ladies with his mum says it all.
    I have sons and daughters - I think my boys were 7 or 8 when they insisted on going into the men's on their own.
    He'll only be in there for a few minutes, and he may learn to manage his buttons on his own if he has to.

    If there should be a pervert loitering within, I bet your son would spot him within seconds and run out to tell you.
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    marietsmariets Posts: 1,262
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    #11
    whackyracer wrote: »
    That's exactly what I said wasn't it:rolleyes:

    Ermm not exactly. You said young girls might not like if they saw him in there, but he'd only be washing his hands in public.
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    PerkyPerkinsPerkyPerkins Posts: 268
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    #12
    I don't think you're being overprotective, just vigilant as a parent should be. There was a case recently where a man sexually assaulted two young brothers in a MacDonalds toilet. The frustrating aspect of it (for me) was that their father was waiting in the restaurant for them - so he could have gone in with them and prevented it happening.

    I used to take my sons in the ladies' toilets with me too, and when they were too old to do that anymore I made sure they knew about 'bad men' and I was always outside the door to hear them shout if necessary!
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    SpotSpot Posts: 25,126
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    #13
    If he's happy to go in on his own, at the age of 9 I'd let him. If it makes you feel better, why not stand at the entrance and say in a loud voice 'I'll wait out here for you' just as he is going in. Anyone inside who hears that is hardly going to try anything.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 515
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    #14
    Spot wrote: »
    If he's happy to go in on his own, at the age of 9 I'd let him. If it makes you feel better, why not stand at the entrance and say in a loud voice 'I'll wait out here for you' just as he is going in. Anyone inside who hears that is hardly going to try anything.

    i agree with this, its time to start letting him do these kind of things on his own.
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    Agent KrycekAgent Krycek Posts: 39,269
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    #15
    shmisk wrote: »
    see hes my only child and I dont have relatives to run things by and my mates all have girls!

    I try to avoid it in general but at times he cant wait til we get home

    but thank you!

    I don't have children myself, but have baby sat various nephews during their younger years, and honestly, at 9 years old if I'd tried to take them into the ladies I'd have had all out war on my hands.

    Stay by the door, and just give him a quick check over as he leaves would be my advice.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,868
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    #16
    My son is almost 10 and has been going into the male toilets by himself for at least a couple of years. Doesn't mean I am not standing outside the door fretting and watching everyone who comes out like a hawk mind! But they have to learn sometime.
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    whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    #17
    mariets wrote: »
    Ermm not exactly. You said young girls might not like if they saw him in there, but he'd only be washing his hands in public.
    I would imagine they would be a little confused and perturbed to see a 9 year old boys in the girls loos full stop. Not to mention the fact that the OP has already said the boy is embarrassed himself.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,066
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    #18
    If it's a toilet in a cafe or restaurant then I think you could probably allow him to go to the men's toilets and stand at the door and wait for him. However, if it's a public toilet then I would advise that under NO circumstances should you let him go in on his own.
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    howardlhowardl Posts: 5,120
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    #19
    Silver Light wrote: »
    However, if it's a public toilet then I would advise that under NO circumstances should you let him go in on his own.


    Why??
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,868
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    #20
    Silver Light wrote: »
    If it's a toilet in a cafe or restaurant then I think you could probably allow him to go to the men's toilets and stand at the door and wait for him. However, if it's a public toilet then I would advise that under NO circumstances should you let him go in on his own.

    Depends on the kind of public toilet. My son goes into the ones at services stations (with me hovering outside the door).

    But I wouldn't let him go alone into one of the grubby basement Victorian style ones (like you get at seaside resorts).
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 35
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    #21
    howardl wrote: »
    Why??

    Was wondering the same thing myself.
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    Arthur.CrumbleArthur.Crumble Posts: 932
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    #22
    Yes, stop being silly and let him go in the gents.
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    alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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    #23
    From the opposite viewpoint, what would people think if a father took his 9 year old daughter into the gents, rather than let her use the ladies alone? I would imagine there would be some raised eyebrows.
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    whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    #24
    Double post
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    whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    #25
    alfiewozere wrote: »
    From the opposite viewpoint, what would people think if a father took his 9 year old daughter into the gents, rather than let her use the ladies alone? I would imagine there would be some raised eyebrows.

    God yes! It would be a daily mail journalists wet dream:D
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    Bulletguy1Bulletguy1 Posts: 18,429
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    #26
    alfiewozere wrote: »
    From the opposite viewpoint, what would people think if a father took his 9 year old daughter into the gents, rather than let her use the ladies alone? I would imagine there would be some raised eyebrows.
    Must admit in comparison i've only ever experienced this once. No idea how old the little girl was but that she was obviously with her Dad was good enough for me.

    I simply got on with doing what I went in there for!
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