Anita I hope you take this in the way it is meant.
But is he a real mate, or is he just asking people who might cough up?
If he's a real mate who you could ring in the middle of the night, even then... bloody hell!!!!
I also hate it when you go for a birthday meal only to find it's the most expensive restaurant you have ever been to, so you forego the fizz, starter and dessert but STILL have to split the bill
Agree with what seems to be the general consensus- it's out of order. A sign of some people, these days, who are so self-absorbed that they cannot even consider the practicalities of other peoples' lives and are most likely to be shocked and offended when their big ideas don't work out.
You can have a great knees up without spending a fortune. We've done it many times, in our family. It's about the company you keep and the value you place on each other. I'd rather have something cheap and cheerful with people whose company I enjoy than a big, flash do packed with fairweather friends who'd spend most of it bitching about the cost and the host(s).
Anita I hope you take this in the way it is meant.
But is he a real mate, or is he just asking people who might cough up?
If he's a real mate who you could ring in the middle of the night, even then... bloody hell!!!!
I also hate it when you go for a birthday meal only to find it's the most expensive restaurant you have ever been to, so you forego the fizz, starter and dessert but STILL have to split the bill
He's someone I've known since I was 20. We used to be festival buddies at uni. Decades have passed since. Last time we saw each other was at a friend's (free) wedding in 2003.
He's someone I've known since I was 20. We used to be festival buddies at uni. Decades have passed since. Last time we saw each other was at a friend's (free) wedding in 2003.
Aw, such a shame when people change so much
I, personally, would have felt quite offended by him asking for that amount of outlay.
I, personally, would have felt quite offended by him asking for that amount of outlay.
I am offended. I'm properly upset by it. Hence the thread. I thought, momentarily, I was being ridiculously unreasonable. Thankfully, I can see I'm not.
Pffft. No way would I pay that.Great, you want to celebrate your Birthday.......
and the fact you are a Naccissist?
It is only a Birthday and if you expect/want people to recognise you as a Z-list celeb, pay for them to come and celebrate the fact that someone as totally amazing as you have been born and inhabit the planet. What a knobber.
I am offended. I'm properly upset by it. Hence the thread. I thought, momentarily, I was being ridiculously unreasonable. Thankfully, I can see I'm not.
Gosh, you most definitely are not. As Dory says below....
Agree with what seems to be the general consensus- it's out of order. A sign of some people, these days, who are so self-absorbed that they cannot even consider the practicalities of other peoples' lives and are most likely to be shocked and offended when their big ideas don't work out.
You can have a great knees up without spending a fortune. We've done it many times, in our family. It's about the company you keep and the value you place on each other. I'd rather have something cheap and cheerful with people whose company I enjoy than a big, flash do packed with fairweather friends who'd spend most of it bitching about the cost and the host(s).
... yes, he is likely in for a shock when he realises he's not worth a ragged, wet cent.
He's someone I've known since I was 20. We used to be festival buddies at uni. Decades have passed since. Last time we saw each other was at a friend's (free) wedding in 2003.
So, you havent seen him for TEN YEARS!!! and yet he wants you to fork out £270? I wouldnt even reply to him, not by phone, email or text in fact id do a call divert thing on his mobile number, then nearer the time just send him a big card saying thinking of you.
This will take him down a peg or two and show him he is just an acquantance/old friendship and the card shows that youre thinking of him and after 10 years thats all your both doing here, thinking of each other not actually seeing each other and he isnt family either. Tbh I would even spend out that amount on anyone not even family, if I had a party I would invite guests for free or not hold an event if I couldnt afford to host it.
I received an invitation today, to a milestone birthday party in September. It all sounds delightful, a hotel in the Cotswolds, dinner, drinks, and a jazz band after. But the party boy wants £50 deposit now, and the whole shebang will cost me £270:o
Is this usual? I don't get invited to many formal birthday parties, it's usually a drink down the pub and a curry.
No , it is not good form to do that ever.
1. If you do attend remember to have a credit card handy for the "free" buffet.
2. A Jazz band is not a good sign.
3. Use clear Anglo-Saxon in your reply:D:D
Agree with what seems to be the general consensus- it's out of order. A sign of some people, these days, who are so self-absorbed that they cannot even consider the practicalities of other peoples' lives and are most likely to be shocked and offended when their big ideas don't work out.
It shows crass insensitivity imo, and a complete lack of insight into other people's circumstances.
I used to have a friend like that. She'd want us to go on holiday together, but her idea of a holiday would run into 4 figures and I never had the sort of money to spare on a few days away.
The one time we did go away together, to a cottage in Dorset, she got off with a new bloke a few days before and had a mysterious "work emergency" that meant she couldn't get down there till the Monday night. I spent the first 3 days on my own. Then she invited her son to join us from Thursday to Saturday, and we had to do a detour to take him back into Bournemouth on our way home.
I gradually withdrew from our friendship after that.
Pffft. No way would I pay that.Great, you want to celebrate your Birthday.......
and the fact you are a Naccissist?
It is only a Birthday and if you expect/want people to recognise you as a Z-list celeb, pay for them to come and celebrate the fact that someone as totally amazing as you have been born and inhabit the planet. What a knobber.
The z-list celebrity angle is interesting, because for the last few years, instead of a Christmas card, he's sent me (and other friends) a newsletter, laid out like a magazine, with photos and headlines and articles about his fabulous year. I usually bin it, I loathe round robins - and his version is one of the worst. Looking back, I think he does see himself as a celebrity Shame he's just a middle-aged man working in insurance, and not George Clooney!!
Send him a card and tell him you will be making a donation to Oxfam to buy a goat for an african village or something. Serious suggestion, they sell these cards in oxfam and he would look like a right heel if he complained
Send him a card and tell him you will be making a donation to Oxfam to buy a goat for an african village or something. Serious suggestion, they sell these cards in oxfam and he would look like a right heel if he complained
The z-list celebrity angle is interesting, because for the last few years, instead of a Christmas card, he's sent me (and other friends) a newsletter, laid out like a magazine, with photos and headlines and articles about his fabulous year. I usually bin it, I loathe round robins - and his version is one of the worst. Looking back, I think he does see himself as a celebrity Shame he's just a middle-aged man working in insurance, and not George Clooney!!
I laughed out loud at this Anita, that is funny-a newsletter,magazine stylee, about himself? If a group of friends got together and put together a magazine for and about a friend for their birthday surprise from you all, I could understand that as an idea, but about himself?
I am a bitter,cynical, old harridan, who keeps seeing narcissists everywhere, like an epidemic. Maybe it is just my age, being an old bint or something, although I have seen some recent articles which suggests Narcissism is on the rise, who knows?
Comments
Hmmn, I didn't think about the water sports angle when I came up with the user name...
I just had to take it to the next level, always lowering the tone, can't take me anywhere!
But is he a real mate, or is he just asking people who might cough up?
If he's a real mate who you could ring in the middle of the night, even then... bloody hell!!!!
I also hate it when you go for a birthday meal only to find it's the most expensive restaurant you have ever been to, so you forego the fizz, starter and dessert but STILL have to split the bill
You can have a great knees up without spending a fortune. We've done it many times, in our family. It's about the company you keep and the value you place on each other. I'd rather have something cheap and cheerful with people whose company I enjoy than a big, flash do packed with fairweather friends who'd spend most of it bitching about the cost and the host(s).
Aw, such a shame when people change so much
I, personally, would have felt quite offended by him asking for that amount of outlay.
and the fact you are a Naccissist?
It is only a Birthday and if you expect/want people to recognise you as a Z-list celeb, pay for them to come and celebrate the fact that someone as totally amazing as you have been born and inhabit the planet. What a knobber.
Gosh, you most definitely are not. As Dory says below....
... yes, he is likely in for a shock when he realises he's not worth a ragged, wet cent.
So, you havent seen him for TEN YEARS!!! and yet he wants you to fork out £270? I wouldnt even reply to him, not by phone, email or text in fact id do a call divert thing on his mobile number, then nearer the time just send him a big card saying thinking of you.
This will take him down a peg or two and show him he is just an acquantance/old friendship and the card shows that youre thinking of him and after 10 years thats all your both doing here, thinking of each other not actually seeing each other and he isnt family either. Tbh I would even spend out that amount on anyone not even family, if I had a party I would invite guests for free or not hold an event if I couldnt afford to host it.
Ive never heard of such a thing its shocking tbh.
YES!
Just paypal me £50 each and I'll buy Tesco's finest!
But what will I do with the other 48 slices? Do you have any friends?
;-)
Yeah I did this for a wedding. I stumped up the cost of my return ticket and my bridesmaid dress.
No , it is not good form to do that ever.
1. If you do attend remember to have a credit card handy for the "free" buffet.
2. A Jazz band is not a good sign.
3. Use clear Anglo-Saxon in your reply:D:D
It shows crass insensitivity imo, and a complete lack of insight into other people's circumstances.
I used to have a friend like that. She'd want us to go on holiday together, but her idea of a holiday would run into 4 figures and I never had the sort of money to spare on a few days away.
The one time we did go away together, to a cottage in Dorset, she got off with a new bloke a few days before and had a mysterious "work emergency" that meant she couldn't get down there till the Monday night. I spent the first 3 days on my own. Then she invited her son to join us from Thursday to Saturday, and we had to do a detour to take him back into Bournemouth on our way home.
I gradually withdrew from our friendship after that.
Send him a card and say sorry we couldn't make it, we're too busy throwing £270 down the drain.
Best present ever for greedy people I find.
http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/for-the-guys/build-a-bog-ou8001wa
I laughed out loud at this Anita, that is funny-a newsletter,magazine stylee, about himself? If a group of friends got together and put together a magazine for and about a friend for their birthday surprise from you all, I could understand that as an idea, but about himself?
I am a bitter,cynical, old harridan, who keeps seeing narcissists everywhere, like an epidemic. Maybe it is just my age, being an old bint or something, although I have seen some recent articles which suggests Narcissism is on the rise, who knows?