People who say 'its the internet, its not real life'
IzzyS
Posts: 11,045 Forum Member
✭✭
What do people think about those who claim/argue the internet isn't the same as real life (e.g. when discussing online bullying and how they respond to peoples messages or topics in general).
I ask this after having heard the same saying (if it counts as a saying?) numerous times over the last few months to a year or so. Yes communicating through devices isn't the exact same as being in front of someone in person, some may feel the anonymity they hide behind gives them an extra freedom they wouldn't otherwise have (to say things in a harsher, more tongue in cheek way perhaps) but I think you have to be careful as thats not the case for everyone. I don't think its fair to quote that as as a way of saying 'everything goes'.
In a literal sense its quite nonsensical. Its as if to say (like I argued in another thread yesterday) its robots that create the content, not genuine humans or something. Of course its real life - ok your behind a screen but its still real, its not as if your imagining the messages you read
so I wonder, does anyone think people who say that have the wrong attitude, or not?. With all the emphasis on cyber bullying and abusive messages covered by the media in the last year or so, do you think peoples attitudes and the way we view the internet and its place in society, will change or not - should it?.
I ask this after having heard the same saying (if it counts as a saying?) numerous times over the last few months to a year or so. Yes communicating through devices isn't the exact same as being in front of someone in person, some may feel the anonymity they hide behind gives them an extra freedom they wouldn't otherwise have (to say things in a harsher, more tongue in cheek way perhaps) but I think you have to be careful as thats not the case for everyone. I don't think its fair to quote that as as a way of saying 'everything goes'.
In a literal sense its quite nonsensical. Its as if to say (like I argued in another thread yesterday) its robots that create the content, not genuine humans or something. Of course its real life - ok your behind a screen but its still real, its not as if your imagining the messages you read
so I wonder, does anyone think people who say that have the wrong attitude, or not?. With all the emphasis on cyber bullying and abusive messages covered by the media in the last year or so, do you think peoples attitudes and the way we view the internet and its place in society, will change or not - should it?. 0
Comments
Here's one instance of it being said yesterday - http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showpost.php?p=72226407&postcount=13
If you don't know what the people you are talking to look like, roughly how old they are, what sex they are, or even their real names (as is often the case on the internet), then it's not really real life is it. Yes, you get fakes in real life (as you pointed out in another thread), but as I said in response, it's much easier to do this on the net. On the net you could be talking to anybody, be it a mass murderer, serial killer, a drug baron, rapist, a 16 year old who is in reality a 65 year old fat trucker from Scunthorpe etc., you just don't know for sure.
It means I could never get upset or offended on this forum. I read some strange points of view on here at times, but that's why I enjoy this forum as I encounter views I wouldn't in everyday life. If I encountered some of these views in everyday life, I may get upset, but when it's just words on a screen and I can turn it off, it's not the same as my everyday life.
I could flip the question round and ask,'why on earth do you take this forum so seriously?' it's just a forum and not your actual life (unless you see this forum that way)
Just because you don't know who it is doesn't make it not real. If someone fired an airrifle at you from a wood, you wouldn't know who it was either.
well why would you be upset if you came across stuff in real life?
If someone was upsetting me in real life (a work colleague for example), I couldn't just ignore the individuals threads or turn off my phone.
Ok, then I suppose it depends on what you mean by 'real'. What your talking about there sounds more like your thinking of it being from a kind of a role play/fantasy angle. What concerns me is if people regard messages as being flippant, some people maybe htink if something sounds quite outrageous then its probably not genuine and only being posted to ilict a response, when it could be genuine - that sort of presumption can't be a good thing, if its unfounded?. Of course the opposite can apply and yes it can be dangerous to presume everything you read is 100% genuine too but when it comes to peoples thoughts and feelings, unless there is some real evidence to the contrary, I'd tend to presume their being genuine and honest in the first instance.
I admit it does make me uneasy to think people I 'know' could be totally different people. You have to trust people at first though, if we don't decide to have some element of risk and trust people to start with, then we'd never get anywhere in life really. Its the same in real life, we have to trust what people say is true, to open up and get close to people, anyone can lie, even if it is easier online. I've had people apparently lie about who they were, providing fake photos but I don't presume anyone who talks to me is lying about who they are in the first instance - I'd have to have a good reason for thinking that, like why would they bother to want to lie about who they are? thats what I don't get
I also remember a few months ago or so, someone here on DS mentioned they'd thought I wasn't being genuine in something I'd posted a while ago. Not sure if they thought I was a WUM or something but they later realised I was being genuine. That was a bit surprising. Yes im a dull, sad person - what can I say? Lol I wasn't always. Maybe im a bit too serious for my own good sometimes...I don't know.
Exactly. Its real life not the internet
Thats what I like too, hearing (or reading) a wide range of views - people are perhaps more honest here than on TV or elsewhere, where they have less anonymity and may be more shy etc.
I don't think its a case of taking it entirely seriously, it really just boils down to bearing in mind whoever you communicate with is a real person, with real emotions, feelings etc. and the fact you can't be sure of their state of mind, so be wary of not saying anything potentially very cutting, something that might really upset them, basic things like that.
I suppose I maybe do feel more distant to some things said here compared to in real life but I think its important to just not get too carried away and remember to keep things in perspective. Ugh, maybe im way too sensitive? I don't know. Some things I do take seriously but not so much with more light hearted threads.
Its the inference that the internet isn't 'real' that baffles me, from a logical point of view. Is it all in my head? say it ain't so! seriously...bizarre.
On the flip side, you can walk away from the internet if you don't like what you see.
I understand that I am communicating with real people on here, but by doing so it has zero impact on my everyday (real) life.
But when I've heard it said, it's not been said in that context, it's been in a "don't take it so seriously"; and by that I mean in a light hearted sense.
I don't take the internet seriously and have said "it's not real life". What I mean by this is that none of it matters to the same degree as stuff in the real world matters.
For example:
If I end up in a debate online then I won't be as measured in my response, if I upset people or get pulled apart then it doesn't really matter. I don't know these people so what they think of me is of no consequence to me beyond the bubble of the site I am on at the time. If a debate strikes up amongst friends then I am much more measured as I wouldn't want to alienate those who matter to me. This doesn't mean I go around trying to upset people, I don't *want* people to dislike me, I simply am not too worried about whether they do.
If I end up in a discussion and embarass myself, online it has nowhere near the same effect as it does in real life. I've embrassed myself in front of people I don't actually know and I will never meet; so it doesn't matter. On the flip side of that, I've had people show me up and I make a joke of it; I've had people pull me up on spelling; even go as far as too imply that I'm thick because of it, I've been called an ass and whatever... and I just shrug it off. If a RL friend did it, I'd be upset.
Same goes for messing around, I piss around a lot online; there is a lot of "for shits and giggles" going on. I'll let go and just say whatever comes into my head, I'm not too worried about whether the person on the other end finds it funny, whether I annoy them a bit or if they find me funny. I don't actively want to annoy someone or make a fool of myself; but if I do then it's not going to affect me; their opinion of me isn't that important.
In the real world I am much more careful because if I annoy a friend or they think I'm a prat; then that's someone who actually matters and I wouldn't want them to dislike me.
By that same token; I could flip it around; I could act perfectly at all times and be loved by all who come across me online. But it wouldn't matter because the moment they sign off they are gone and they sign off a lot.
So in that sense, the internet is not real life.
ETA: I'll also add, when I feel I have genuinely upset someone and am in the wrong I will appologise and have done several times in the past. So, I don't subscribe too "anything goes and nothing matters at all".
In the past, however, I have been involved in a couple of long-standing threads on the BB board, where you get to know people, even meet them, and have been subject to bullying and nastiness that carried over onto other social media platforms. It can become pretty nasty, be very unsettling and yes, it can and does hurt. I also knew people involved in the same threads who were bullied to the point of leaving DS and closing down other social media accounts.
It may seem silly to some, but it depends upon the circumstances and involvement I imagine.
I've seen bullying on twitter, nasty vitriolic stuff, not just of people I know but people I don't know, and as much as it can be said they are only words on a screen, it is more than that, because we are human and have emotions and care what people think of us or say about us, and what others may see people say about us, especially younger people.
With young people especially, who are heavily involved and emotionally invested sometimes on various social media platforms, I can fully understand how bullying happens (in that I can see how they would be affected by it rather than understand why somebody bullies somebody). I think the fact that cyber-bullying has led to deaths makes it obvious that what is written on a screen isn't always just words on a screen, it can mean a lot more.
They may only be words on a screen, but those reading and writing them are human.
I see what he's saying.
Yes of course this is 'real' as far as we are all actual people typing our opinions into posts on here. But that is kind of where it ends. It's not going to make a difference to anyone's life if people don't take them seriously on this forum, compared to how they might feel in their day to day life if someone didn't, for example.
You see this is where you and me differ. I've learnt from bitter experience, i.e. by having lived a fair while, that you shouldn't trust people from the get go, i.e. as soon as you've met them, but only after you get to know them better.
No, and you could apply that to lots of scenarios, but it's hardly the topic of this thread.
That's unfortunate, but anybody who has been here for a while will know that you need a very thick skin if you want to survive on DS, particularly in certain forums, such as Showbiz and Politics.
There are very very clear differences and the point to me seems obvious. Those who fail to grasp it should perhaps spend less time on the internet. .;-)
This, as ever is merely my opinion.
The internet is a great tool, for people who know how to respect it. You don't have to be on the internet for it to have an effect on you, this is more apparent in schools just now, although it is being clamped down
I don't think people mean it like that. People can be blocked, or the device can be shut down at anytime.
I think it's meant to mean more "grow up"
I take your point but I think they should teach 'how to deal with people who might say mean things to you' type classes explaining why some faceless morons may use the web to tease or harass.
Some people take the internet far far too seriously and some may even go to such extremes that t's like they live in some kind of virtual world 24/7.
These people need some perspective imo.