Need an excuse to leave a funeral early

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 53,142
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    like someone siad go tomorrow and tell job center to arrange it for Tuesday ?
  • gateauxgateaux Posts: 694
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    I've got a funeral to go to on Monday but I have an appointment at the Jobcentre as well. The thing is that I can go to the first bit of the funeral but the crematorium bit afterwards clashes with my appointment at the Jobcentre. I need an excuse to get out of going to the Crem but can't think of one.
    Get the old chap out and exclaim "what's that green bit?"
  • Toby LaRhoneToby LaRhone Posts: 12,916
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    J-B wrote: »
    I would arrange for the organist to halt the funeral music mid-crematorium, and drop straight into the chorus of Thriller. Then you stand up, go full MJ, and moonwalk out of the door. If you leave, you leave in style.
    Memorable exit but .... you've buggered up the free buffet and a beer :(
  • Heston VestonHeston Veston Posts: 6,478
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    Get your mates to dress up as angels (or demons) and as they drag you away shout "no, no, it's the one in the coffin you want!"
  • muggins14muggins14 Posts: 61,844
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    Just attend as much of it as you can and then leave quietly when you need to go to the JC.

    I wouldn't risk asking them to change the appointment - they can agree and then deny they ever said that and sanction you anyway, as they are prone to doing.
  • shelleyj89shelleyj89 Posts: 16,292
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    OP, what do you mean by the "crematorium bit" being after the "funeral bit." At a cremation, you have the funeral, then the wake. You don't go and watch the body being cremated in between. So I don't understand which bit you're going to miss? Regardless, just tell the truth. I don't know why you have to lie?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 68,508
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    shelleyj89 wrote: »
    OP, what do you mean by the "crematorium bit" being after the "funeral bit." At a cremation, you have the funeral, then the wake. You don't go and watch the body being cremated in between. So I don't understand which bit you're going to miss? Regardless, just tell the truth. I don't know why you have to lie?

    You are assuming that all funerals are the same. Some people have a church service followed by a burial or cremation. Some people have a burial or cremation followed by a church service of thanksgiving for the life of the deceased. Some people don't have a church service at all, just a burial or cremation followed by some form of family beano.
  • idlewildeidlewilde Posts: 8,698
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    shelleyj89 wrote: »
    OP, what do you mean by the "crematorium bit" being after the "funeral bit." At a cremation, you have the funeral, then the wake. You don't go and watch the body being cremated in between.

    We always have at funerals where my relatives have been cremated. The usual proceedings are:-

    Meet at deceased person's house
    Await hearse and funeral cars
    Go to local church and have the church service
    Go to local crematorium for a very short "service" where the vicar says a few things before the coffin disappears
    Go to venue where wake is held
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    J-B wrote: »
    I would arrange for the organist to halt the funeral music mid-crematorium, and drop straight into the chorus of Thriller. Then you stand up, go full MJ, and moonwalk out of the door. If you leave, you leave in style.

    Oh definitely this! :D
  • TwentyFifteenTwentyFifteen Posts: 93
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    degsyhufc wrote: »
    Say you have an appointment at the job center.

    JobcentRE.

    And a funeral is an accepted reason with them for changing an appointment. You won't be told off for that. Ring them up and let them know why you aren't able to make it and they will rearrange for a later time or for another day.
  • grauniadgrauniad Posts: 7,946
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    It's a sign of the times that people are dying nowadays without a thought for the mourners.
  • shelleyj89shelleyj89 Posts: 16,292
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    You are assuming that all funerals are the same. Some people have a church service followed by a burial or cremation. Some people have a burial or cremation followed by a church service of thanksgiving for the life of the deceased. Some people don't have a church service at all, just a burial or cremation followed by some form of family beano.
    idlewilde wrote: »
    We always have at funerals where my relatives have been cremated. The usual proceedings are:-

    Meet at deceased person's house
    Await hearse and funeral cars
    Go to local church and have the church service
    Go to local crematorium for a very short "service" where the vicar says a few things before the coffin disappears
    Go to venue where wake is held

    Fair enough. The funerals that I have been to that have all been followed by cremations have all been held at a crematorium, so I just assumed that was the usual way of doing things.
  • PhilH36PhilH36 Posts: 26,191
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    Ask the jobcentre to rearrange your appointment because you are going to a funeral. If they refuse, go to the funeral anyway then report to the jobcentre. If they threaten to sanction you for being late or missing your appointment threaten to go to the Daily Mail. Mail then runs major story on how "Heartless Jobcentre Staff say: You Cant Attend Funeral"!
  • Pull2OpenPull2Open Posts: 15,138
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    PhilH36 wrote: »
    Ask the jobcentre to rearrange your appointment because you are going to a funeral. If they refuse, go to the funeral anyway then report to the jobcentre. If they threaten to sanction you for being late or missing your appointment threaten to go to the Daily Mail. Mail then runs major story on how "Heartless Jobcentre Staff say: You Cant Attend Funeral"!

    More like,

    'Jobless scrounger arranged friends death to get out of appointment with hardworking, tax paying employment adviser'
  • gemma-the-huskygemma-the-husky Posts: 18,116
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    Unless you are there in the role of corpse, in which case you are expected to stay until the very end, I really don't think you need an excuse to slip away from a funeral between one event and the other. You are unlikely to be such a star of the show that the other attendees will be in a fever of speculation about your whereabouts. Just go to the first service, say a warm word or two to the family if they are around to receive warm words then...slip away.

    There will probably be an attendance card to sign at the church, so the family will know you attended. even if you don't get a chance to talk to them.

    many people attend funerals, and do not go on to the wake, or crematorium/interment
  • Lucy Van PeltLucy Van Pelt Posts: 11,587
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    Have you spoken to your advisor about this? If you have a decent one they should be able to give you leeway if not they will probably say now unless it was immediate family

    If you can't get out of it you should tell the truth and that you are sorry but you have no choice

    As someone who has loads of relatives and hence have been to a funerals it is not mandatory for those who aren't close relatives to attend the cremation/ burial, many people take the morning off and and go straight back to work after the church service
  • degsyhufcdegsyhufc Posts: 59,251
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    shelleyj89 wrote: »
    OP, what do you mean by the "crematorium bit" being after the "funeral bit." At a cremation, you have the funeral, then the wake. You don't go and watch the body being cremated in between. So I don't understand which bit you're going to miss? Regardless, just tell the truth. I don't know why you have to lie?
    Why wouldn't you want to watch the body being cremated? That's the best part.
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