An ex lying about attending Uni - what would you do?

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  • kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,247
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    bazaar1 wrote: »
    I think thats a bit harsh on the OP - very few of us could honestly say we've not done some FB stalking in our time....:o
    I've certainly looked up people I've known in the past, when I want to be distracted from work via a different means that posting here!
  • whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    I'm failing to see what relevance it has to you?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,051
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    Maxiscot wrote: »
    That is funny! Seriously though he is a very nasty person who contacted me via sending an invite on LinkedIn. I have not seen him for years. Given what I know of him and his behaviour I then looked him as I felt somewhat stalked. Is that so difficult to grasp? I don't know what age you are but when someone contacts you from the past who you know to be a vile person and who is capable of a lot of bad things you would maybe do the same - after all you wouldn't want to run into that person in the street - well at least I wouldn't. We are all different.

    I'm not sure what Linkedln is, but is it like a social networking site?

    If so, I think sometimes those things send a kind of network generated email to anybody who registers with them to everybody in the persons contact list who has signed up.

    I could be wrong though !

    You may be on his contact list, and if he's not one of these people who clear his list, he may have loads on there from way back. I wouldn't worry too much about the stalking issue, if he was going down that route I think contact may have taken a more direct route.

    Don't beat yourself up, you know the guy and what he's capable of, and others don't, you've done nothing wrong, you asked for advice, and that's sensible. I'd just avoid all contact from him and give him no opening back into your life, if you receive any more links I'd just delete them.
  • InspirationInspiration Posts: 62,694
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    Move on. To do anything else will just make you look like you haven't.
  • culturemancultureman Posts: 11,700
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    You have so still got issues with this guy - who means "nothing" to you. You're coming across as an obsessive.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 107
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    Cutecheeks wrote: »
    I'm not sure what Linkedln is, but is it like a social networking site?

    If so, I think sometimes those things send a kind of network generated email to anybody who registers with them to everybody in the persons contact list who has signed up.

    I could be wrong though !

    You may be on his contact list, and if he's not one of these people who clear his list, he may have loads on there from way back. I wouldn't worry too much about the stalking issue, if he was going down that route I think contact may have taken a more direct route.

    Don't beat yourself up, you know the guy and what he's capable of, and others don't, you've done nothing wrong, you asked for advice, and that's sensible. I'd just avoid all contact from him and give him no opening back into your life, if you receive any more links I'd just delete them.

    Thanks - LinkedIn is a business network tool - you can put your CV - that sort of stuff on there. No, given my email addy has changed since then, he would not have it so he deliberately looked me up. Anyway I have taken the advice given - thanks.
  • chocoholic100chocoholic100 Posts: 6,411
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    OP I think people are being harsh to you

    if I was in your situation I would have had a look to see where or what he was upto if it had been so long since I had contact with him, and I think a lot of people would too,
    my advice is to stay well clear, I wouldnt report it to anyone just ignore the request he made to you from linkedin and forget about it him, if hes as weird as you say, it might cause more problems for you down the line
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,051
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    cultureman wrote: »
    You have so still got issues with this guy - who means "nothing" to you. You're coming across as an obsessive.

    That's a little harsh !

    She only followed a link ;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 107
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    OP I think people are being harsh to you

    if I was in your situation I would have had a look to see where or what he was upto if it had been so long since I had contact with him, and I think a lot of people would too,
    my advice is to stay well clear, I wouldnt report it to anyone just ignore the request he made to you from linkedin and forget about it him, if hes as weird as you say, it might cause more problems for you down the line

    Thanks for that and if people want to be harsh/insulting then that is their perogative - such is the internet!
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
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    Maxiscot wrote: »
    As I said earlier - we probably cross posted - it was years ago and suddenly I receive an invite from him on Linkedin. TBH I felt stalked given (once I got over the disbelief) what I know of him so looked him up to see where he is. - I would not want to see that man again. When it comes to protecting yourself I am sure most people would do the same.

    I've been getting invitations from all sorts of folks on linkedin lately. I just ignore them. And I certainly don't go looking for them on FB.

    He's your ex - I don't know why you care about him lying on FB. Not your problem and nothing to do with you.

    Bear in mind that the Linkedin thing might not have actually come from him. It could be spam and he hasn't contacted you at all. He may have actually forgotten you exist.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,485
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    I think some people are being unfair on the OP. There's nothing wrong with wanting to put right a wrong when you are able to.

    Esp. as she has knowledge of a fact that not a lot of other people know (the fake uni history) PLUS the guy is of bad character and is known to have upset/hurt people in the past. Its actually a sign of good character that the OP cares enough to want to say something.

    The guy is 100% at fault for lying in the first place.
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
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    diary_room wrote: »
    I think some people are being unfair on the OP. There's nothing wrong with wanting to put right a wrong when you are able to.

    Esp. as she has knowledge of a fact that not a lot of other people know (the fake uni history) PLUS the guy is of bad character and is known to have upset/hurt people in the past. Its actually a sign of good character that the OP cares enough to want to say something.

    The guy is 100% at fault for lying in the first place.

    The OP has said that she wants nothing to do with him though. If she goes posting stuff on FB about him lying then she is getting involved with him again. He will deny her allegations and plenty of folks will probably believe him and it could all get very nasty.
  • nickyislady_tnickyislady_t Posts: 597
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    come on guys. havent we all tried to look for someone from our past (ex's or not) just out of curiosity.

    OP i very much doubt this guy is stalking you as this is the first time youve heard from him in 15 years you say?
    Does he know what proffesion your in? maybe he's just trying to make contacts to better his career hence joining LinkedIn?
    I know you say he was a nasty person but maybe he's trying to better himself now? Someone also said above that maybe he did go back to this particular uni after you lost contact with him but as you havent spoken to him for so many years you just didnt know?

    If thats not the case then let him just get on with his life and you should too. If he is still the same person he was all those years ago then it sounds like your better off without him in your life in any way shape or form :)
  • KimmlerKimmler Posts: 1,906
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    "Should I report it to my alma mater?"

    Psued of the week!
  • KimmlerKimmler Posts: 1,906
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    diary_room wrote: »
    I think some people are being unfair on the OP. There's nothing wrong with wanting to put right a wrong when you are able to.

    Esp. as she has knowledge of a fact that not a lot of other people know (the fake uni history) PLUS the guy is of bad character and is known to have upset/hurt people in the past. Its actually a sign of good character that the OP cares enough to want to say something.

    The guy is 100% at fault for lying in the first place.

    She hasn't come across him in 15 years how does she know he hasn't attended her 'alam matter' (love it!) and got a degree?
    Name me one person who hasn't lied on their CV! ;)
  • madlh100madlh100 Posts: 9,893
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    What the hell is an alma mater?

    Do you mean alpha male?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,051
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    Kimmler wrote: »
    She hasn't come across him in 15 years how does she know he hasn't attended her 'alam matter' (love it!) and got a degree?
    Name me one person who hasn't lied on their CV! ;)

    Me !!!! *polishes halo* :D:D:D
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    madlh100 wrote: »
    What the hell is an alma mater?

    Do you mean alpha male?

    Google is your friend

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alma_mater
  • culturemancultureman Posts: 11,700
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    madlh100 wrote: »
    What the hell is an alma mater?
    Do you mean alpha male?

    It means literally "benign mother". Or "nourishing, bountiful".
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,051
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    cultureman wrote: »
    It means literally "benign mother".

    I'm just going to sit here and watch for somebody to come along and think it's her Mam whose name is Alma now :D:D
  • culturemancultureman Posts: 11,700
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    Cutecheeks wrote: »
    I'm just going to sit here and watch for somebody to come along and think it's her Mam whose name is Alma now :D:D

    And "Alma" apparently is a girl's name meaning "soul / spirit". An "alma" can also be an Egyptian dancing girl. So says my dictionary.
  • madlh100madlh100 Posts: 9,893
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    So your mum is called Alma and your surname is Mater?

    :confused:
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,051
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    madlh100 wrote: »
    So your mum is called Alma and your surname is Mater?

    :confused:

    I just knew it :D:D:D

    There's always one ;)
  • KimmlerKimmler Posts: 1,906
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    Cutecheeks wrote: »
    I just knew it :D:D:D

    There's always one ;)

    There's one born every minute. ;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,051
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    Kimmler wrote: »
    There's one born every minute. ;)

    Usually it's me :D:D:D
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