Yes, it's "in which he asks me to move in with him" and I effectively accept even though I find him disgusting and dirty and his flat is foul and has no Illy coffee. If it all goes wrong I'll blame Nic.
She also claims that no boyfriend has ever asked her to move in with him before, conveniently forgetting that the FRS did at least once and also proposed to her several times. Although she is technically correct as the FRS doesn't actually exist other than in her head.
For someone who No Boys Ever Like, Liz appears never to have been short of admirers, at least not according to the dreary. If you randomly dive into it at different times there's always some man hovering around.
For someone who No Boys Ever Like, Liz appears never to have been short of admirers, at least not according to the dreary. If you randomly dive into it at different times there's always some man hovering around.
True. I remember her pursuit of the South American Married Man (SAMM) - basically it came to naught, was mentioned in two drearies - her planning to go to Argentina or wherever it was and then a mention the following week explaining why she called the trip off.
I peed myself laughing as she wrote something along the lines of that she could feel hairs going up on the necks of wives both sides of the Andes as she prepared for her aborted trip - as if Jizzard was some kind of irresistible siren crossing the seas to steal their menfolk!!
Yes, she's not behind at coming forward regarding married men. I actually think she has stalker tendencies. The SAMM 'with teeny children' sounded like she'd had a mild flirtation in a bar with some bloke and decided that there was 'something more' and intended to pursue him. It was particularly tasteless as this was happening at the same time her nephew in Australia had died and she was intending to combine the two trips. How in God's name do you plan a trip to wreck someone's marriage and family with the tragedy of losing a young family member and hopefully supporting a grieving sister? In the event she didn't bother as 'she didn't do economy', more like it both parties told her firmly to stay away. Worse the very public pursuit in print of the married vet in Dartmoor who was easily identified and then when he made it clear he was not interested in her she vilifiled his poor wife as obviously she was to blame. Liz is quick to call 'Troll' on those who question her morals and the accuracy of what she writes but she has possibly wrecked the lives of many real people by casually but spitefully refering to them in The Diary. She is careful not to name certain names, but by those she does name it is aways easy to identify her latest victim. But of course...she luuuuuuurves animals, so that's ok.
Same old same old ... god, doesn't she ever stop droning on about when she was young and David didn't want her. I notice she's got another crack in about her poor sister - she had to buy her a house. Not sure what the story is there ... wasn't there some court case involving the sister previously living in a converted stable or some such, then being evicted to make room for 'Nic', and so on? How I wish her sister would write a few articles about Jones - now those would be worth reading.
And still no comments? The only thing I can think of is there's some sort of wrangle between DS's business partners and the DM?? - the column was well on its way to doing that business serious harm.
Meanwhile : Why didn't he fancy me ? blah, blah, My evil sister, blah, blah, My ex, blah, blah. It's like a stuck record.
Surely this can't go on for much longer? -especially without the comments.
Do they still have macros? I imagine sometimes that Liz sits there and hits key combinations that just paste stuff in:
I spent all of my money on my {ungrateful sister} {younger husband who cheated on me} {various kindnesses to various ex-friends in the form of costly designer items they didn't really want, ask for or need} and so now I must work. Last week I bought a {buttery soft leather coat} {softest cashmere twinset} {dress] by VB, it was my sole purchase of the year because I spent all of my money on my {ungrateful sister} {younger husband who cheated on me} {various kindnesses to various ex-friends in the form of costly designer items they didn't really want, ask for or need}.
How I hoped that Daaaaavid would notice what I was wearing. Of course he did, looking at me as if he was in love with me. {Why did he not feel the same 30 years ago? Then I would have done anything for him blah blah concert tickets blah blah flagrant attempts to get his attention blah blah not really a date date blah blah got off with my friend blah blah married other people blah ponytail blah?}. He is so {perfect} {irritating}. Why does he not think constantly of me only me? Thirty years ago {I would have done anything for him blah blah concert tickets blah blah flagrant attempts to get his attention blah blah not really a date date blah blah got off with my friend blah blah married other people blah ponytail blah?}
Hysteria in the household regarding the transformation of of the Dirty Baker: unkempt nails, **** ash everywhere, dirty clothes put in with clean etc etc. Letter arrives from m'learned friends ("putting client's business at risk... malicious falsehood... loss of income... damages...") and suddenly he's showering eight times a day, has an OCD tidying habit ans the shiny face of a 12 year old.
Oh, the 'cupboard' is in the Ziggarut building, Saffron Hill, EC1N 8QX... drop her a line, why don't you?
Their relationship must make 'Groundhog Day' seem unpredictable. She knows the answer just as well as he does. You were skint 30 years ago - get over it!!! Still, by the sound of it those measily two features a week she's writing for the MOS can't be keeping her in the manner she, and now him, have been accustomed. As he never seems to be at the bakery I doubt he can support both of them, it'll just be like 1983 all over again - but what matter material things when you are as in love as these two shag bunnies?
My dear departed Other Half had a wonderful observation: 'He looked her straight in the wallet and fell in luuuurve ...'
Not that I'm implying anything, of course because True Love is indeed a wonderful thing and we should all rejoice that after not realising what a shining jewel was there under his nose (or at least next door), ripe for the plucking, all those decades ago, these star crossed lovers are now ecstatically combined in near-uxorious bliss in The Cupboard, The Cellar, Dublin, Harvey Nicks (I can't keep up), the Yorkshire Dales. I truly rejoice at the thought of The Baker's grey ponytail tickling Lizzard's adoring facelift, as he runs his newly trimmed fingernails up and down her buttery soft cream leather VB control pants, while they watch, for the seven hundredth time, the box set of Sex And The City ...
Their relationship must make 'Groundhog Day' seem unpredictable.
;-) Love it... but then every article she writes is another 'Groundhog Day'.
If only the DM would break the cycle and one day someone in their HR department sent her a P45 or a notice to terminate her contract.
Another interesting - and potentially more profitable - alternative, would be for them to give Liz's sister - Nic - her own diary column. Now that would make great reading !
;-)
Another interesting - and potentially more profitable - alternative, would be for them to give Liz's sister - Nic - her own diary column. Now that would make great reading !
Nic isn't Liz's sister, she's, er, well, um... it's never been made clear to be honest but she seems to be employed by Liz (as is everyone in her life in one form or another) perhaps wot in t'olden days was referred to as a 'lady's companion'. We presume it is Nic who is looking after the 113 'rescued animals' that have not been mentioned since the geriatric lover hit the jackpot. She is certainly devoted to Liz or very highly paid.
;-) Love it... but then every article she writes is another 'Groundhog Day'.
If only the DM would break the cycle and one day someone in their HR department sent her a P45 or a notice to terminate her contract.
Another interesting - and potentially more profitable - alternative, would be for them to give Liz's sister - Nic - her own diary column. Now that would make great reading !
The sister that Liz was "forced" to buy a house for and is described as being a bully is Sue. Nic is Liz's "assistant" (dogbody) who lives with her in Richmond and looks after all the animals while Liz is cavorting in the cupboard with the Baker. Judging by Nic's postings on a pro-Liz Big Brother Facebook page she will not hear a word said against her despite often being maligned in the Dreary. I would love to hear Sue's side of the story but so far she has kept a dignified silence in the face of a total character assassination in the national press.
It looks like I'll have to do more reading around the main characters, or alternatively - and preferably - stop rubber-necking and get a life.
I can see why Nic is beholden to Liz, but I'd love the DM to give Liz's sister the right to reply... perhaps Jan Moir could write the piece on Liz's sister's behalf. ;-)
So someone posts a supposed untruth about you on Mumsnet. It is withdrawn very quickly - very few people see it and those that do quickly forget about it.
And them you refer to it in the national press - again and again ( I've counted four times thus far and that won't be the last I'm
sure)
So now you've put that story firmly in the public domain, multiple times. You talk about the hurt that it has caused you. Any thought about gratitude to the culprit for giving you such good copy?
Like anyone gives a ***t about the cocaine suggestion. For what it's worth, I'm sure the Lizard didn't ... it might have cheered her up for a bit and God forbid anything should alter her sour and needy disposition.
Yes, be great if the older sister she regularly slags off could be persuaded to give HER side of the saga. Come on, tabloids - offer her some cash to Tell All.
Comments
She also claims that no boyfriend has ever asked her to move in with him before, conveniently forgetting that the FRS did at least once and also proposed to her several times. Although she is technically correct as the FRS doesn't actually exist other than in her head.
True. I remember her pursuit of the South American Married Man (SAMM) - basically it came to naught, was mentioned in two drearies - her planning to go to Argentina or wherever it was and then a mention the following week explaining why she called the trip off.
I peed myself laughing as she wrote something along the lines of that she could feel hairs going up on the necks of wives both sides of the Andes as she prepared for her aborted trip - as if Jizzard was some kind of irresistible siren crossing the seas to steal their menfolk!!
And to think she has the absolute gall to demand damages from Mumsnet!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2082761/In-I-cold-feet.html
Edit: and this one....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2073087/In-I-pack-globetrotter.html
"Digging up events that happened decades ago is not useful."
From this week's dreary:
"Why did he not fancy me in 1983, but fancies me so much now?"
^_^
Meanwhile : Why didn't he fancy me ? blah, blah, My evil sister, blah, blah, My ex, blah, blah. It's like a stuck record.
Surely this can't go on for much longer? -especially without the comments.
I spent all of my money on my {ungrateful sister} {younger husband who cheated on me} {various kindnesses to various ex-friends in the form of costly designer items they didn't really want, ask for or need} and so now I must work. Last week I bought a {buttery soft leather coat} {softest cashmere twinset} {dress] by VB, it was my sole purchase of the year because I spent all of my money on my {ungrateful sister} {younger husband who cheated on me} {various kindnesses to various ex-friends in the form of costly designer items they didn't really want, ask for or need}.
How I hoped that Daaaaavid would notice what I was wearing. Of course he did, looking at me as if he was in love with me. {Why did he not feel the same 30 years ago? Then I would have done anything for him blah blah concert tickets blah blah flagrant attempts to get his attention blah blah not really a date date blah blah got off with my friend blah blah married other people blah ponytail blah?}. He is so {perfect} {irritating}. Why does he not think constantly of me only me? Thirty years ago {I would have done anything for him blah blah concert tickets blah blah flagrant attempts to get his attention blah blah not really a date date blah blah got off with my friend blah blah married other people blah ponytail blah?}
Oh, the 'cupboard' is in the Ziggarut building, Saffron Hill, EC1N 8QX... drop her a line, why don't you?
Not that I'm implying anything, of course because True Love is indeed a wonderful thing and we should all rejoice that after not realising what a shining jewel was there under his nose (or at least next door), ripe for the plucking, all those decades ago, these star crossed lovers are now ecstatically combined in near-uxorious bliss in The Cupboard, The Cellar, Dublin, Harvey Nicks (I can't keep up), the Yorkshire Dales. I truly rejoice at the thought of The Baker's grey ponytail tickling Lizzard's adoring facelift, as he runs his newly trimmed fingernails up and down her buttery soft cream leather VB control pants, while they watch, for the seven hundredth time, the box set of Sex And The City ...
I expect next week the Thriller album will be mentioned again or perhaps that she bought Siouxsie and the Banshees tickets for him.
;-) Love it... but then every article she writes is another 'Groundhog Day'.
If only the DM would break the cycle and one day someone in their HR department sent her a P45 or a notice to terminate her contract.
Another interesting - and potentially more profitable - alternative, would be for them to give Liz's sister - Nic - her own diary column. Now that would make great reading !
Nic isn't Liz's sister, she's, er, well, um... it's never been made clear to be honest but she seems to be employed by Liz (as is everyone in her life in one form or another) perhaps wot in t'olden days was referred to as a 'lady's companion'. We presume it is Nic who is looking after the 113 'rescued animals' that have not been mentioned since the geriatric lover hit the jackpot. She is certainly devoted to Liz or very highly paid.
The sister that Liz was "forced" to buy a house for and is described as being a bully is Sue. Nic is Liz's "assistant" (dogbody) who lives with her in Richmond and looks after all the animals while Liz is cavorting in the cupboard with the Baker. Judging by Nic's postings on a pro-Liz Big Brother Facebook page she will not hear a word said against her despite often being maligned in the Dreary. I would love to hear Sue's side of the story but so far she has kept a dignified silence in the face of a total character assassination in the national press.
It looks like I'll have to do more reading around the main characters, or alternatively - and preferably - stop rubber-necking and get a life.
I can see why Nic is beholden to Liz, but I'd love the DM to give Liz's sister the right to reply... perhaps Jan Moir could write the piece on Liz's sister's behalf. ;-)
I am sure she's called a column "In which I yearn for a normal life" before.
And them you refer to it in the national press - again and again ( I've counted four times thus far and that won't be the last I'm
sure)
So now you've put that story firmly in the public domain, multiple times. You talk about the hurt that it has caused you. Any thought about gratitude to the culprit for giving you such good copy?
Yes, be great if the older sister she regularly slags off could be persuaded to give HER side of the saga. Come on, tabloids - offer her some cash to Tell All.