My 42 year old son was finally diagnosed as dyslexic 2 years ago. We were both deeply relived by the diagnosis. But he is also high performance, in some ways with 2 degrees.
It's a very interesting and controversial topic.
A lot if people don't realise dyslexia affects more then reading/writing
A lot if people don't realise dyslexia affects more then reading/writing
You are right . His primary school teacher said he could not be educated, sent to an educational psychologist who said he was very high performing. In the 70s there was no explanation or solutions.
He's 15 years old and has only recently stopped taking medication for it. When he was little he was absolutely manic all the time and barely seemed to feel pain at all. When he was about 3 he dropped a brick on his bare foot and it hardly bothered him. Not a tear in sight.
Anyone who says it doesn't exist or sees it as an excuse for naughty children has obviously never been in regular contact with a child who has it.
So I have a 12 year old who goes to special school. His diagnosis is autism, ADHD and dyspraxia with a physical diagnosis of hyper mobility syndrome
He obsessively wears wristbands and we just got one from ADDISS the ADHD charity saying "ADHD is real"
I have sat down and explained to him why it says this and that people put down naughtiness to ADHD. He is not a naughty child- he has been to school every day this year, and the ADHD things that affect him are lack of focus, and noise filtering
Do you think ADHD is real?
Do you make your judgement on what ADHD actually is, or do you believe it's an excuse for "naughtiness" or "bad parenting"?
Probably controversial here but can someone explain to me , does ADHD excuse some behaviour, all behaviour or no behaviour that is generally unacceptable ?
It usually explains behaviour but doesn't excuse it. I got to 38 knowing 'something' was up with me until I finally had my diagnosis. I'm currently being assessed for Asperger's as some of my behaviour seems aside from ADHD and is otherwise unexplainable.
My eldest has ADHD, I knew there was something not quite right, right from birth really but she didn't get a diagnosis until she was 7. Contrary to popular belief, children aren't diagnosed willy nilly, it takes years and years of seeing different professionals. You don't pop to your GP with your naughty kid, get told they have ADHD, sit back on your arse and tell everyone "they can't help being a pita, they have ADHD don't you know".
She's 18 now and I'll be honest, life is pretty horrific for us as a family. Too many people assume ADHD is naughty little boys bouncing off walls, jumping off sofa's and stuff. It's nothing like that.
I can't speak for other parent's and their experiences. My daughter is impulsive, reckless and the older she gets the worse she gets. She lies, she steals from me, she's promiscuous, she doesn't look after her health, her hygiene leaves a lot to be desired but in her head, she's normal and everyone else is wrong and out to get her. I can't have a serious conversation with her because she pretty much goes off the deepend at the first hint of criticism. She can't keep her friends because she treats them so appallingly but she can't see it. Every action she takes is because she cannot control her impulses, everything is in the here and now, there's no forethought, no forward planning, no thought for consequences. It makes her selfish, self centred and hell to live with.
The only time life feels normal is when she's ill, she lays on the sofa and we chat normally, she tells me she likes being ill because everything in her head slows down, her thoughts are no longer racing along, the self destructive impulses all but go away, she becomes rational, likeable and I get a glimpse of what she would be like without ADHD. We become really close and I feel like we are mother and daughter, we hug and talk about stuff, make plans for the future. As soon as she is well, it all goes to pot again and she once again becomes impossible to connect with.
You don't pop to your GP with your naughty kid, get told they have ADHD, sit back on your arse and tell everyone "they can't help being a pita, they have ADHD don't you know".
Exactly. Whereas I believe other people need to make certain allowances for ADHD, us sufferers ought to take reasonable steps to manage it and take action so that it minimises or eliminates situations that could impact on to others.
For example by law my employer needs to make 'reasonable adjustments' at work to accommodate my condition (ADHD is classed as a disability but I don't like to use that word). By contrast I believe I have a responsibility to assist those around me, for example if I'm given a task to complete, rather than just say "OK I'll do it", I'll quickly repeat it back to them which should demonstrate a) I'm listening to the instruction and giving it as much attention as possible, and b) I'm taking action to help remember it and keep it as fresh in my mind as I can to reduce the chances of me forgetting parts of it and allowing distractions to get in the way.
I feel too many people use their ADHD as an excuse for bad behaviour and/or poor performance, and that makes it harder for the rest of us to be taken seriously.
My eldest has ADHD, I knew there was something not quite right, right from birth really but she didn't get a diagnosis until she was 7. Contrary to popular belief, children aren't diagnosed willy nilly, it takes years and years of seeing different professionals. You don't pop to your GP with your naughty kid, get told they have ADHD, sit back on your arse and tell everyone "they can't help being a pita, they have ADHD don't you know".
She's 18 now and I'll be honest, life is pretty horrific for us as a family. Too many people assume ADHD is naughty little boys bouncing off walls, jumping off sofa's and stuff. It's nothing like that.
I can't speak for other parent's and their experiences. My daughter is impulsive, reckless and the older she gets the worse she gets. She lies, she steals from me, she's promiscuous, she doesn't look after her health, her hygiene leaves a lot to be desired but in her head, she's normal and everyone else is wrong and out to get her. I can't have a serious conversation with her because she pretty much goes off the deepend at the first hint of criticism. She can't keep her friends because she treats them so appallingly but she can't see it. Every action she takes is because she cannot control her impulses, everything is in the here and now, there's no forethought, no forward planning, no thought for consequences. It makes her selfish, self centred and hell to live with.
The only time life feels normal is when she's ill, she lays on the sofa and we chat normally, she tells me she likes being ill because everything in her head slows down, her thoughts are no longer racing along, the self destructive impulses all but go away, she becomes rational, likeable and I get a glimpse of what she would be like without ADHD. We become really close and I feel like we are mother and daughter, we hug and talk about stuff, make plans for the future. As soon as she is well, it all goes to pot again and she once again becomes impossible to connect with.
Isn't she on medication for her ADHD? My daughter's on Equasym & it's made a real difference.
I believe you do can genuine cases of ADHD especially when linked with Autism, however I think there are for too many kids being wrongly/over diagnosed with it and there seem to be a lot of parents who have also not been officially diagnosed who use the "He's got ADHD" line in order to excuse bad behavior and to divert blame away from the fact that they haven't got any control of their kids. My mum's old cleaner had a child who was out of control off the rails and uses to regularly tell her mum to f off whenever she couldn't get her own way. She always used to say her child had ADHD but it didn't take a doctor to diagnose that she was just a lazy parent who couldn't be bothered to exercise any authority or discipline over her child. Surprise surprise she was a single mother who couldn't cope with controlling her child. Her child hadn't actually been diagnosed at all. It was just something she used to tell everyone whenever her child misbehaved in public.
Sadly things like this are what overshadow genuine cases. I refuse to believe that a child telling it's parent to f off has anything to do with attention deficit or hyperactivity. That's just bad parenting. Where does an 8 year old child learn language like that unless it's being banded about at home, being allowed to watch inappropriate television/internet oflr they are being allowed to mix with the wrong people. They must be picking it up from somewhere.
I refuse to believe that a child telling it's parent to f off has anything to do with attention deficit or hyperactivity. That's just bad parenting.
Not necessarily. ADHD can often affect a persons' ability to focus on things such as repercussions and responsibility. I'm not saying that excuses bad behaviour in any way, my point being that the example you gave certainly can at times be due to the condition.
ADHD is real the minimum diagnostic criteria however look to me to set a very low bar as to the number and severity of symptoms and there are no defined sources of evidence, so a diagnosis dependent on subjective assessment that could be made on limited observation and third party reports of behaviour. The problem with is it over diagnosed or not is how could anyone tell. To the casual obsever the minimum symptoms required for a diagnosis do not make the sufferer appear ill/disabled and there is no definitive medical test for the medical condition. http://www.add.org/?page=DiagnosticCriteria
a sufficient inattentive and/or hyperactive impulsive symptom is the only initial criteria that must be met for ADHD to be diagnosed
"several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms are present in two or more settings." Thus, symptoms must only be evident in more than one context but don't have to impair an individual's functioning in multiple contexts.
"...clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, academic, or occupational functioning."
"several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present prior to 12 years."
To possibly warrant a diagnosis of ADHD, individuals younger than 17 must display at least 6 symptoms. For individuals 17 and above, at least 5 symptoms. The symptoms must be present for at least 6 months to a degree that is judged to be inconsistent with an individual's developmental level.
The 9 hyperactive-impulsive symptoms are:
•Often fidgets with or taps hands or squirms in seat.
•Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected (e.g., leaves his or her place in the classroom, in the office or other workplace, or in other situations that require remaining in place).
•Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is inappropriate (e.g., in adolescents or adults, may be limited to feeling restless).
•Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly;
•Is often "on the go" acting as if "driven by a motor" (e.g., is unable to be or uncomfortable being still for extended time, as in restaurants, meetings; may be experienced by others as being restless or difficult to keep up with).
•Often talks excessively.
•Often blurts out answers before questions have been completed (e.g., completes people's sentences; cannot wait for turn in conversation).
•Often has difficulty awaiting turn (e.g., while waiting in line).
•Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g. butts into conversations, games, or activities. may start using other people's things without asking or receiving permission; for adolescents and adults, may intrude into or take over what others are doing).
The 9 inattentive symptoms are:
•Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or during other activities (e.g. overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate).
•Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (e.g., has difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading).
•Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (e.g., mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of any obvious distraction).
•Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish school work, chores, or duties in the work place (e.g., starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked).
•Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized work; has poor time management; fails to meet deadlines).
•Often avoids or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (e.g. schoolwork or homework; for older adolescents and adults, preparing reports, completing forms, reviewing lengthy papers).
•Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses and mobile telephones).
•Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (e.g., for older adolescents and adults may include unrelated thoughts).
•Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., doing chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments).
Not necessarily. ADHD can often affect a persons' ability to focus on things such as repercussions and responsibility. I'm not saying that excuses bad behaviour in any way, my point being that the example you gave certainly can at times be due to the condition.
Where does an 8 year old learn foul language to tell their mother to f off? They don't just make it up. Children pick things up that they hear at home and I very much doubt they'd be getting it from school at that age. More likely the child is hearing it from the mother or she's been allowed to watch too much adult tv or has unrestricted internet access. Kids don't just start f'ing and cursing out of nowhere.
Where does an 8 year old learn foul language to tell their mother to f off? They don't just make it up. Children pick things up that they hear at home and I very much doubt they'd be getting it from school at that age. More likely the child is hearing it from the mother or she's been allowed to watch too much adult tv or has unrestricted internet access. Kids don't just start f'ing and cursing out of nowhere.
Yes it's possible that he/she picked it up from a parent but you cannot completely discount all other possibilities. Perhaps the child heard it when they were out, maybe it came from another parent (or child) at school, someone else in the family etc.
Bad parenting is a possibility, it's far from the only one.
Comments
A lot if people don't realise dyslexia affects more then reading/writing
You are right . His primary school teacher said he could not be educated, sent to an educational psychologist who said he was very high performing. In the 70s there was no explanation or solutions.
He's 15 years old and has only recently stopped taking medication for it. When he was little he was absolutely manic all the time and barely seemed to feel pain at all. When he was about 3 he dropped a brick on his bare foot and it hardly bothered him. Not a tear in sight.
Anyone who says it doesn't exist or sees it as an excuse for naughty children has obviously never been in regular contact with a child who has it.
I have one diagnosed with ADHD but otherwise healthy & the other has Asperger Syndrome & Hyper Mobility syndrome.
These things often seem to be co morbid or run in families.
My niece has aspergers and OCD
OCD affecting her more so
It usually explains behaviour but doesn't excuse it. I got to 38 knowing 'something' was up with me until I finally had my diagnosis. I'm currently being assessed for Asperger's as some of my behaviour seems aside from ADHD and is otherwise unexplainable.
She's 18 now and I'll be honest, life is pretty horrific for us as a family. Too many people assume ADHD is naughty little boys bouncing off walls, jumping off sofa's and stuff. It's nothing like that.
I can't speak for other parent's and their experiences. My daughter is impulsive, reckless and the older she gets the worse she gets. She lies, she steals from me, she's promiscuous, she doesn't look after her health, her hygiene leaves a lot to be desired but in her head, she's normal and everyone else is wrong and out to get her. I can't have a serious conversation with her because she pretty much goes off the deepend at the first hint of criticism. She can't keep her friends because she treats them so appallingly but she can't see it. Every action she takes is because she cannot control her impulses, everything is in the here and now, there's no forethought, no forward planning, no thought for consequences. It makes her selfish, self centred and hell to live with.
The only time life feels normal is when she's ill, she lays on the sofa and we chat normally, she tells me she likes being ill because everything in her head slows down, her thoughts are no longer racing along, the self destructive impulses all but go away, she becomes rational, likeable and I get a glimpse of what she would be like without ADHD. We become really close and I feel like we are mother and daughter, we hug and talk about stuff, make plans for the future. As soon as she is well, it all goes to pot again and she once again becomes impossible to connect with.
Exactly. Whereas I believe other people need to make certain allowances for ADHD, us sufferers ought to take reasonable steps to manage it and take action so that it minimises or eliminates situations that could impact on to others.
For example by law my employer needs to make 'reasonable adjustments' at work to accommodate my condition (ADHD is classed as a disability but I don't like to use that word). By contrast I believe I have a responsibility to assist those around me, for example if I'm given a task to complete, rather than just say "OK I'll do it", I'll quickly repeat it back to them which should demonstrate a) I'm listening to the instruction and giving it as much attention as possible, and b) I'm taking action to help remember it and keep it as fresh in my mind as I can to reduce the chances of me forgetting parts of it and allowing distractions to get in the way.
I feel too many people use their ADHD as an excuse for bad behaviour and/or poor performance, and that makes it harder for the rest of us to be taken seriously.
ADHD very much exists, but has become the dumping ground for other behaviour problems which have no right to be under the Autisic Spectrum umbrella.
Isn't she on medication for her ADHD? My daughter's on Equasym & it's made a real difference.
Sadly things like this are what overshadow genuine cases. I refuse to believe that a child telling it's parent to f off has anything to do with attention deficit or hyperactivity. That's just bad parenting. Where does an 8 year old child learn language like that unless it's being banded about at home, being allowed to watch inappropriate television/internet oflr they are being allowed to mix with the wrong people. They must be picking it up from somewhere.
Unfortunately she has too many other health problems, medication wouldn't be safe.
Not necessarily. ADHD can often affect a persons' ability to focus on things such as repercussions and responsibility. I'm not saying that excuses bad behaviour in any way, my point being that the example you gave certainly can at times be due to the condition.
http://www.add.org/?page=DiagnosticCriteria
Where does an 8 year old learn foul language to tell their mother to f off? They don't just make it up. Children pick things up that they hear at home and I very much doubt they'd be getting it from school at that age. More likely the child is hearing it from the mother or she's been allowed to watch too much adult tv or has unrestricted internet access. Kids don't just start f'ing and cursing out of nowhere.
Yes it's possible that he/she picked it up from a parent but you cannot completely discount all other possibilities. Perhaps the child heard it when they were out, maybe it came from another parent (or child) at school, someone else in the family etc.
Bad parenting is a possibility, it's far from the only one.