I have an 11 month old who is very demanding! I also work practically full time only having 2 half days of per week, my OH works most weekends so i do class looking after my LO a full time job, i.e I class cleaning my house as a job so why not childcare. It doesn't mean i don't love her anyless calling it a job.
I have had 14 days of not much sleep as she has a cold/viral infection and is up most of the night coughing and spluttering. I still then have to get up at 5.50 to get ready for work/get her and her bag ready to go to the childminder. I then do a full days work come home to have to start jobs again. I am really lucky because my OH cooks tea and washes up for me so that's one less job i have to do.
I then have to start cleaning up her toys, other cleaning duties i have to do that i can't get done whilst she is awake. I dare anyone to try and clean a toilet whilst you have an 11 month old hanging off the back of your shirt putting her fingers near the toilet that's got bleach in it then throwing a strop because you have moved her out of the way of said bleach.
Then you have to contend with going back up stairs every hour to try and soothe a crying coughing child. before you know it, its 10.30 and time for bed.
I work school hours at the min which is great BUT baby number 2 is due in May. To continue working school hours would mean paying FULLTIME childcare so I will have to quit my job.
I'll then be a stay at home mum and not unemployed as I am not going to be in the job seekers market.
Its getting into semantics, but they are not doing a job, they are doing voluntary work
Isn't a job just another term for what someone does as their work? Yes, it is about semantics - most of the arguments on this thread are to do with the definition of terms if you examine them.
As a working mother of 5 (who has always worked apart from maternity leave), I consider being at home with the children a break. I don't work during school holidays, so I do experience being a "full time mum" for 6 weeks in the Summer and being at home is definately easier and less work than going to work (and then doing the housework, cooking, admin etc on top of your normal job).
I can't afford to give up work, but if I was at home all day, whilst my partner was out at work, I'd consider that I had the easiest deal.
Is it a full-time job, in my opinion no - not when other people do that as well as going out to work. But, I'm not criticising anyone who does do it - and describes it as their "job".
All I can say is, I consider the summer holidays a "holiday" for me - despite the fact I'll be home alone all day with 3 kids, and two teenagers, and all the work that entails.
Isn't a job just another term for what someone does as their work? Yes, it is about semantics - most of the arguments on this thread are to do with the definition of terms if you examine them.
Whilst job and work can often be used interchangeably, I tend to think a job is paid employment and work as much broader.
For example I would say I work when I'm doing my volunteering but it is not a job.
My wife packed in her full time, very well paid job to become a 'full time mum', because you know what? You only get one chance to bring a child up, and it should not be relegated to a 'part time' role. It was her choice and I backed her 100%.
Our children are the most precious things we have, why on earth would you give them to someone else to bring up? The mind boggles!
As for the amount of time and effort required to bring up our three kids, like others have said, I would rather do a 12 hour day anytime! There were a few occasions where I had to look after them for a few days... the sight of my wife walking through the door was the most welcome thing I'd ever seen! I couldn't get back to work quick enough.
I applaud all those 'full time mums' for doing the hardest, bestest, and most underated job in the world!
My wife packed in her full time, very well paid job to become a 'full time mum', because you know what? You only get one chance to bring a child up, and it should not be relegated to a 'part time' role. It was her choice and I backed her 100%.
Our children are the most precious things we have, why on earth would you give them to someone else to bring up? The mind boggles!
As for the amount of time and effort required to bring up our three kids, like others have said, I would rather do a 12 hour day anytime! There were a few occasions where I had to look after them for a few days... the sight of my wife walking through the door was the most welcome thing I'd ever seen! I couldn't get back to work quick enough.
I applaud all those 'full time mums' for doing the hardest, bestest, and most underated job in the world!
Because some women might want a life for themselves as well (some women feel raising children is their life whilst others don't), because some women feel that having children should not mean they have to give everything up, they have worked for.
My mum gave me to gran to look after when she went straight back to work. Why should she not work? She studied damned hard to enter her proffession and she did not want to throw that away. I have turned out fine from it.
Isn't a job just another term for what someone does as their work? Yes, it is about semantics - most of the arguments on this thread are to do with the definition of terms if you examine them.
It's not just semantics. The term full time mum for someone who doesnt go out to work is an insult to working mums since it implies they are part time mums. Stay at home mum doesn't carry the same conotations so why not use it - unless you mean it to be taken that way.
That said I've found some of the opinions on this thread breathtaking in their assumptions and single mindedness. Of course people are entitled to their opinions but those opinions are very much not aligned to mine.
Deciding to stay at home full time to look after your kids is not an easy option, unless you are a bad parent who does nothing with your children, in my opinion. It has different challenges to paid employment but you are shaping the life experience of the next generation, I don't think that should be so undervalued. Of course you do that whether you are a working parent or not and there are many parents who are good, bad or indifferent regardless of whether they work or not. For me, it worked best for our family unit for me to work part time, thats not the case for others, I wouldn;t judge them on my own choices and I don't expect to be judged for mine.
It's not just semantics. The term full time mum for someone who doesnt go out to work is an insult to working mums since it implies they are part time mums. Stay at home mum doesn't carry the same conotations so why not use it - unless you mean it to be taken that way.
I say stay at home mum, I've been a full time worker and a part time worker alongside being a full time parent. The job doesn't stop when you enter business premises.
It's not just semantics. The term full time mum for someone who doesnt go out to work is an insult to working mums since it implies they are part time mums. Stay at home mum doesn't carry the same conotations so why not use it - unless you mean it to be taken that way.
Personally I'm not insulted when someone uses to the term full-time mum, I just take it as shorthand to mean they've decided to stay at home, the terms to me are interchangeable. I can understand why some people may be slightly offended by it but personally I think there are bigger things to worry about, like people thinking mums just sit on their backside drinking coffee and watching tv all day, its the attitudes I find much more damaging than the semantics.
That said I've found some of the opinions on this thread breathtaking in their assumptions and single mindedness. Of course people are entitled to their opinions but those opinions are very much not aligned to mine.
Deciding to stay at home full time to look after your kids is not an easy option, unless you are a bad parent who does nothing with your children, in my opinion. It has different challenges to paid employment but you are shaping the life experience of the next generation, I don't think that should be so undervalued. Of course you do that whether you are a working parent or not and there are many parents who are good, bad or indifferent regardless of whether they work or not. For me, it worked best for our family unit for me to work part time, thats not the case for others, I wouldn;t judge them on my own choices and I don't expect to be judged for mine.
I agree totally. It's great that there has been such a wide range of opinions on this thread, because it is a complex issue.
Because some women might want a life for themselves as well (some women feel raising children is their life whilst others don't), because some women feel that having children should not mean they have to give everything up, they have worked for.
My mum gave me to gran to look after when she went straight back to work. Why should she not work? She studied damned hard to enter her proffession and she did not want to throw that away. I have turned out fine from it.
So why have kids then if you're just going to pass them over to someone else?
The argument can go both ways.(and go on forever I suspect).
Regardless, that was your mum's choice and you say you turned out ok, fair enough. But it wouldn't have been an option as far as my wife is concerned because she wanted to bring up the children she gave birth to.
It's not just semantics. The term full time mum for someone who doesnt go out to work is an insult to working mums since it implies they are part time mums. Stay at home mum doesn't carry the same conotations so why not use it - unless you mean it to be taken that way.
It's only an insult if people are criticising someone else. If there is mutual respect for women's choices, there need be no offence taken. I agree with you that it could be used in that way, though.
So why have kids then if you're just going to pass them over to someone else?
The argument can go both ways.(and go on forever I suspect).
Regardless, that was your mum's choice and you say you turned out ok, fair enough. But it wouldn't have been an option as far as my wife is concerned because she wanted to bring up the children she gave birth to.
I am glad your wife was in a position to be able to do that.
My parents were in a financial position, where mum could have finished work but after studying and training for 8 years, she was not about to give it up when she could have me and her career.
Best of both worlds for her. She could have both and be happy.
I would have loved to be a full time mum, but finances wouldn't allow it, yes i do pay £400 a month in childcare and yes someone else is bringing my child up. But the other chunk of money goes towards bills and mortgage. If we had to live on my OH wage we wouldn't have anything and my LO would have to go without. I intend to give her the best of everything i can and if that means going to work so be it.
The only thing this thread has proved is that stay at home mums are tetchy about people thinking they are lazy, and that single men haven't got a notion of what bringing up a child involves.
The only thing this thread has proved is that stay at home mums are tetchy about people thinking they are lazy, and that single men haven't got a notion of what bringing up a child involves.
True
But any tetchiness can be put down to being up since 4.30a.m
It is a full time job looking after children. Certainly until they go to school. And when they come home, they can make your life a misery with their incessant me me me demands, pester power etc.
It is full time alright, but it is not a job. However much you mothers like to claim. It is a lifestyle, not an occupation.
You are a housewife.
Taking care of children is not a job unless you are paid for looking after other's children, in other words in the childcare trade.
a piece of work, especially a specific task done as part of the routine of one's occupation or for an agreed price: She gave him the job of mowing the lawn.
So i presume she went onto describe if her child/children had any disabilities that would mean she would not get the opportunity to "chill out" during the day?
P.S when you are looking after kids THEY are your manager/boss and if you do something wrong,or something is not done to their satisfaction, they are sure to let you know pretty damn quickly-also you are not intitled to any days off,holidays,and are on call 24 hrs a day 7 days a week,contact is not by email,it is by vocal requests. You cannot hide in the loo to avoid this boss. It is endless,repetitive work that is one of the most rewarding "jobs" you can have.
I actually did hide in the loo for a couple of minutes the other day when my 3 year old, sometimes nicknamed El Diablo, was in one of his special moods
On this topic i am a Mum of 2, one in School, one not yet, I work 3 days a week running a busy office, and look after my kids the other 4 days - honestly, work is much easier. MUCH EASIER! But not as fun
The only thing this thread has proved is that stay at home mums are tetchy about people thinking they are lazy, and that single men haven't got a notion of what bringing up a child involves.
That is sheer BS. One of my best friends is a woman who has had three very demanding children and I saw virtually on a day to day basis what was involved. Just because I don't have any children of my own, doesn't mean I don't know what it involves.
Comments
I have an 11 month old who is very demanding! I also work practically full time only having 2 half days of per week, my OH works most weekends so i do class looking after my LO a full time job, i.e I class cleaning my house as a job so why not childcare. It doesn't mean i don't love her anyless calling it a job.
I have had 14 days of not much sleep as she has a cold/viral infection and is up most of the night coughing and spluttering. I still then have to get up at 5.50 to get ready for work/get her and her bag ready to go to the childminder. I then do a full days work come home to have to start jobs again. I am really lucky because my OH cooks tea and washes up for me so that's one less job i have to do.
I then have to start cleaning up her toys, other cleaning duties i have to do that i can't get done whilst she is awake. I dare anyone to try and clean a toilet whilst you have an 11 month old hanging off the back of your shirt putting her fingers near the toilet that's got bleach in it then throwing a strop because you have moved her out of the way of said bleach.
Then you have to contend with going back up stairs every hour to try and soothe a crying coughing child. before you know it, its 10.30 and time for bed.
And thats a good day!
If you can afford to have one partner at home all the while then being the homemaker is pretty full on for a while.
But not for long. Certainly women who have their children at school and are still claiming being a mother is a full time job are having a laugh.
Its getting into semantics, but they are not doing a job, they are doing voluntary work
I'll then be a stay at home mum and not unemployed as I am not going to be in the job seekers market.
Isn't a job just another term for what someone does as their work? Yes, it is about semantics - most of the arguments on this thread are to do with the definition of terms if you examine them.
I can't afford to give up work, but if I was at home all day, whilst my partner was out at work, I'd consider that I had the easiest deal.
Is it a full-time job, in my opinion no - not when other people do that as well as going out to work. But, I'm not criticising anyone who does do it - and describes it as their "job".
All I can say is, I consider the summer holidays a "holiday" for me - despite the fact I'll be home alone all day with 3 kids, and two teenagers, and all the work that entails.
Whilst job and work can often be used interchangeably, I tend to think a job is paid employment and work as much broader.
For example I would say I work when I'm doing my volunteering but it is not a job.
Yes, you're probably right.
Our children are the most precious things we have, why on earth would you give them to someone else to bring up? The mind boggles!
As for the amount of time and effort required to bring up our three kids, like others have said, I would rather do a 12 hour day anytime! There were a few occasions where I had to look after them for a few days... the sight of my wife walking through the door was the most welcome thing I'd ever seen! I couldn't get back to work quick enough.
I applaud all those 'full time mums' for doing the hardest, bestest, and most underated job in the world!
Because some women might want a life for themselves as well (some women feel raising children is their life whilst others don't), because some women feel that having children should not mean they have to give everything up, they have worked for.
My mum gave me to gran to look after when she went straight back to work. Why should she not work? She studied damned hard to enter her proffession and she did not want to throw that away. I have turned out fine from it.
It's not just semantics. The term full time mum for someone who doesnt go out to work is an insult to working mums since it implies they are part time mums. Stay at home mum doesn't carry the same conotations so why not use it - unless you mean it to be taken that way.
I usually am
That said I've found some of the opinions on this thread breathtaking in their assumptions and single mindedness. Of course people are entitled to their opinions but those opinions are very much not aligned to mine.
Deciding to stay at home full time to look after your kids is not an easy option, unless you are a bad parent who does nothing with your children, in my opinion. It has different challenges to paid employment but you are shaping the life experience of the next generation, I don't think that should be so undervalued. Of course you do that whether you are a working parent or not and there are many parents who are good, bad or indifferent regardless of whether they work or not. For me, it worked best for our family unit for me to work part time, thats not the case for others, I wouldn;t judge them on my own choices and I don't expect to be judged for mine.
I say stay at home mum, I've been a full time worker and a part time worker alongside being a full time parent. The job doesn't stop when you enter business premises.
Personally I'm not insulted when someone uses to the term full-time mum, I just take it as shorthand to mean they've decided to stay at home, the terms to me are interchangeable. I can understand why some people may be slightly offended by it but personally I think there are bigger things to worry about, like people thinking mums just sit on their backside drinking coffee and watching tv all day, its the attitudes I find much more damaging than the semantics.
I agree totally. It's great that there has been such a wide range of opinions on this thread, because it is a complex issue.
So why have kids then if you're just going to pass them over to someone else?
The argument can go both ways.(and go on forever I suspect).
Regardless, that was your mum's choice and you say you turned out ok, fair enough. But it wouldn't have been an option as far as my wife is concerned because she wanted to bring up the children she gave birth to.
It's only an insult if people are criticising someone else. If there is mutual respect for women's choices, there need be no offence taken. I agree with you that it could be used in that way, though.
I am glad your wife was in a position to be able to do that.
My parents were in a financial position, where mum could have finished work but after studying and training for 8 years, she was not about to give it up when she could have me and her career.
Best of both worlds for her. She could have both and be happy.
I would have loved to be a full time mum, but finances wouldn't allow it, yes i do pay £400 a month in childcare and yes someone else is bringing my child up. But the other chunk of money goes towards bills and mortgage. If we had to live on my OH wage we wouldn't have anything and my LO would have to go without. I intend to give her the best of everything i can and if that means going to work so be it.
Can't housewives use that title?
True
But any tetchiness can be put down to being up since 4.30a.m
It is full time alright, but it is not a job. However much you mothers like to claim. It is a lifestyle, not an occupation.
You are a housewife.
Taking care of children is not a job unless you are paid for looking after other's children, in other words in the childcare trade.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/job
I actually did hide in the loo for a couple of minutes the other day when my 3 year old, sometimes nicknamed El Diablo, was in one of his special moods
On this topic i am a Mum of 2, one in School, one not yet, I work 3 days a week running a busy office, and look after my kids the other 4 days - honestly, work is much easier. MUCH EASIER! But not as fun
That is sheer BS. One of my best friends is a woman who has had three very demanding children and I saw virtually on a day to day basis what was involved. Just because I don't have any children of my own, doesn't mean I don't know what it involves.