What advice would you give to your younger self?
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As per the title really, I'm still reasonably young at 25 I guess but I do feel like time is passing by very quickly & it's fair to say I'm not very happy with the world right now.
I live alone, have a decent job with reasonable prospects, managed to save 15k, own my car outright, holiday often so I have a lot to be thankful for but... I'm not having a lot of fun and am feeling very lonely. Suppose a recent nasty break up has a lot to do with it but it's very hard to meet people where I live that I click with. Believe me I have tried but all I seem to be able to find is fun in the bedroom which I don't want. I have joined groups but
Just intrigued really, if you look back what would you have done differently?
I'm thinking about giving everything up and jumping on a plane, well aware that could make me feel even more lonely and I'd have to come home one day, probably to nothing but maybe the experience would be worth it and who knows what could happen.
Right now I get up, go to work, come home... I'm 25!!
I live alone, have a decent job with reasonable prospects, managed to save 15k, own my car outright, holiday often so I have a lot to be thankful for but... I'm not having a lot of fun and am feeling very lonely. Suppose a recent nasty break up has a lot to do with it but it's very hard to meet people where I live that I click with. Believe me I have tried but all I seem to be able to find is fun in the bedroom which I don't want. I have joined groups but
Just intrigued really, if you look back what would you have done differently?
I'm thinking about giving everything up and jumping on a plane, well aware that could make me feel even more lonely and I'd have to come home one day, probably to nothing but maybe the experience would be worth it and who knows what could happen.
Right now I get up, go to work, come home... I'm 25!!
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Society makes us feel worthless if we don't act and look eternally young. Well in your twenties many of us have a little crisis when we lose our childhood and uni friends, and haven't established ourselves in a workplace to make work friends. We aren't children or teenagers anymore, and shouldn't have to act like we are to make everyone else happy.
I wish I knew that when I was younger though. I was worried about doing the wrong thing and derailing my life. Now I wish I hadn't worried about it all.
Some people will say to buy a house immediately and others will say, go travelling. Maybe even go travelling and work at the same time.
I've done both the travel thing and the house thing and they both have their pros and cons. I've also had periods where I felt lonely too.
So I can only say to follow your heart wherever it leads - within reason of course.
Good luck with your future goals - whatever they may be.
And, in an ideal world, spend more time with your Dad.
And I'd tell myself to be a but more trusting with guys -I dicked around so many when I was younger because I thought I had to screw them over before they could do it to me. And looking back, most of them were way nicer and more mature than I was, but I was very scared of getting hurt.
What I would say is don't do anything too drastic when you've just had a breakup. Things like that can really make everything seem crappy but you don't wanna burn your bridges without thinking it through very carefully -unless you were thinking of going travelling anyway. Do you have friends nearby that you can get together with?
Again i'm only slightly older than you OP and I know people will offer advice that sounds great or advice you'll just ignore. What you need to try to do is live your life for you and no one else. Forget everyone else's opinions on what you should or shouldn't do (even mine if you so choose), you only get one life so why spend it worrying. Find those things and those people you love and focus on that for now. Things almost always fall into place eventually, but you'll be very happy and very lonely many times in your life.
Be brave and have a go at new things.
Friends and family are important, try and chose the rights ones and look after these relationships.
Remember that you will regret more things you didn't do.
Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder,
Tell her she's beautiful, wonderful,
Everything she doesn't see.
Live and learn I say.
There are two things that I would say to my younger self
1) never ever get credit/store cards until you have put money aside each month for savings and learnt to budget.
2) Don't stop the exercise as weight creeps on slowly but it is even slower and harder to lose.
Learn to play at least one musical instrument.
1) Control your temper
2) Think things through completely
3) Don't marry that woman
I spent my 20s travelling and living it up, and now I'm struggling to get back on the property ladder. Whereas if I had the right idea when i was younger I would have bought a house first and then rented it out while travelling so I would have something to come back to.
Being in your late 30s with no assets makes it harder to start again.
I spent far too much of my youth watching telly.
I wish I hadn't gone through my 20s wishing I was thinner, taller, better looking or whatever - I look back on photos now and realise I looked great (and much thinner than I felt!).
I'd tell myself that it's mostly the things that I didn't do that I had the most regrets about - fear is temporary, regrets can last forever - so I would have advised myself to go for it and take every opportunity that came my way.
The only area where this isn't true is with relationships. I look back at my younger self and wish I'd been a little less selfish and a bit more caring with my family. I wish I'd recognised the value of having great family to support me. Fortunately I've made up for it since! It wouldn't have done my teenage self any harm to have had a stronger sense of duty to my family.
The thing is though that you can't know these things - you acquire this knowledge through experience and there's no short cut. There is this myth out there that the days of your youth are the best of your life. I don't think that's true. These days I am happier in my own skin, I know who I am (and what I'm not), I am more confident, I care less about what other people think and about trivial stuff (like whether I've gained a few pounds). I have greater financial security and better relationships with my friends and family. I've learned how to compromise and manage my frustrations. I've learned how to take pleasure in small things (a sunny day, a nice glass of wine, a beautiful piece of music). So my main message to my younger self would be that life gets richer and more enjoyable as you get older so stop worrying and enjoy it.