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So there is a Chicken in my garden
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No, it's not a joke. I have no idea where it came from we live in north London. It's been in our area for the past 2 weeks but it always seems to come to our garden. I have fed it a few times but now I just want it to leave 
. It's London so where has it escaped from? Genuine question but who can I call to take it away? I'm really afraid of it getting attacked by a cat or a dog.
. It's London so where has it escaped from? Genuine question but who can I call to take it away? I'm really afraid of it getting attacked by a cat or a dog. 0
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We have all talked about eating it but no one has the heart to hurt him. I've even named him but its time he left.
* Yeah, that was supposed to be Surbiton, but that's still Greater London.
I feel sorry for the poor guy watching him sit in my garden all depressed he also looks very dirty. He should be roaming around a farm not in my garden in Hackney. I might call call the rspca as someone suggested.
I took a snap if it http://postimg.org/image/3nqii3egz/
I'd check if it has a Sierra Leonean accent. Didn't a marathon runner from there do a runner the other day? Could just be a disguise.
Looks like a cock to me, not a hen. Damn. Free eggs are always good.
Yeah, not drab enough to be female.
Not sure it's always the best policy- we had a squirrel in the attic and I phoned them as I wanted advice on the best way to catch and release it and they basically advised me to kill it.
If they changed their name to the Protection of Cruelty to only Certain Animals it might be more accurate.
At least chicken is tasty I guess.
Any "children's farms" or "petting zoos" (always sounds creepy, that name) in the area? They might collect ... and you could negotiate visiting rights!
Yes, that's actually the law. If you catch a squirrel, you have to kill it (in a humane manner - shoot it or whack it really hard with an iron bar).
Best way is to entice it out then block the way back in.
I once woke up to find a drunk and trouserless man parading around the back garden at 3am. He wasn't a very good singer either. I always thought that once you get that drunk certain appendages weren't supposed to work that well, but not in his case. Could have hung a coat on that thing. He was going the 'waggle dance' too.
I was rather shocked, but not as much as my kid sister, who was 14 at the time and (hopefully) had never seen the like before
Still, I guess that's the price of living on the same road as a rather dodgy nightclub, and wasn't half as bad as the time someone was hacked to death with machetes outside it and the gang who did it used our backyard as part of their escape route.
We moved shortly after that.
Appendages are bad enough, but machetes were the final straw.
I can top that
I had four sheep stroll in my house one day through an open door, also two cows broke through a fence and got in my back garden and wrecked it when I was out one day.
That's why I prefer to live in a flat that's not on the ground floor. It's far less likely for anything (or anyone) to just wander up here
I did have to shoo a small bird out of the spare bedroom once. It must have been in the hallway and followed me in one day. I spent ages trying my best to ignore this really loud tweeting - assumed it was just a bird in a tree outside feeling particularly randy or something, and either some cat would finish it off or it would eventually go cruising elsewhere.
I then realised it was in the flat when I saw it looking at me while I was on the loo, which faces directly into the spare bedroom. Not sure which of us was more freaked out by what they were seeing.
I spent about an hour trying to herd the damn thing back out of the front door, making an obvious escape route for it by building a canyon with all the junk and boxes in there. Still, I found a couple of things I'd been looking for for years, so not all wasted.
Yes they informed me that it is technically the law (poor chap was suffering from some form of grey squirrel discrimination, bloody foreigner etc etc) but the hypocrisy of a society allegedly promoting the prevention of cruelty of animals whilst telling me to butcher it was, well, 'interesting' to say the least.
I'm surprised one of the local foxes haven't had it yet. I think the ones living in cities have grown lazy and prefer thrown away takeaway now though. They've also adopted rather poor Jamaican accents for reasons their parents will never understand.
Look after it. Might lay a few eggs for you.
Innit.