Tortoises set fire to house due to horniness

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  • agrainofsandagrainofsand Posts: 8,693
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    "two raunchy reptiles"

    :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,138
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    "these Ginsters pasties are a bit overdone........the crust is awfully crunchy........."
  • MuzeMuze Posts: 2,225
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    I know I shouldn't, but LMAO :D

    I hope the tortoises were ok.
  • cjsmummycjsmummy Posts: 11,079
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    Muze wrote: »
    I know I shouldn't, but LMAO :D

    I hope the tortoises were ok.

    They died...

    Surely it was the owner's fault for leaving the heater where it was?
  • MuzeMuze Posts: 2,225
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    Oh didn't realise they died :(

    Apologies for not reading it properly, that's awful :mad:
  • Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    awww it's a shame they died. :(

    I went to a tortoise sanctuary a couple of years ago and lots of them were at it like rabbits. They don't half make a lot of noise, especially giant tortoises. :eek:
  • TRIPSTRIPS Posts: 3,714
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    If there anything like Turtles then they can bonk for hours,
    I remember one visit to Chester Zoo, as soon as we started walking round we heard a loud noise like oink, every few seconds oink, went on for hours and at the time had no idea what it was, got into the enclosure where the Turtles are and there's this Turtle on top of his mate still banging away, Oink.oink. think premature ejaculation for a Turtle is something like 4 hours.
  • agrainofsandagrainofsand Posts: 8,693
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    Oops, also didn't notice that they died.
  • cjsmummycjsmummy Posts: 11,079
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    TRIPS wrote: »
    If there anything like Turtles then they can bonk for hours,
    I remember one visit to Chester Zoo, as soon as we started walking round we heard a loud noise like oink, every few seconds oink, went on for hours and at the time had no idea what it was, got into the enclosure where the Turtles are and there's this Turtle on top of his mate still banging away, Oink.oink. think premature ejaculation for a Turtle is something like 4 hours.

    There was a couple of tortoises mating when we were leaving Blackpool Zoo in the summer, I'll never forget the grunting sounds the male was making:eek:
  • ackeracker Posts: 8,809
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    cjsmummy wrote: »
    There was a couple of tortoises mating when we were leaving Blackpool Zoo in the summer, I'll never forget the grunting sounds the male was making:eek:

    " I really love you Shell "
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    Dying, quite literally, in the heat of passion. Poor bastards but I'm sure there's worse ways to go.
  • agrainofsandagrainofsand Posts: 8,693
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    acker wrote: »
    " I really love you Shell "

    :D:D:D
  • Millie MuppetMillie Muppet Posts: 6,853
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    acker wrote: »
    " I really love you Shell "

    :D:D:D:cry:
  • BellaRosaBellaRosa Posts: 36,483
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    Addisonian wrote: »
    Dying, quite literally, in the heat of passion. Poor bastards but I'm sure there's worse ways to go.

    Being burnt alive in a home you cannot get out of ... I don't think so :(

    Poor little mites. Hope the home owners were not insured :mad:
  • AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    BellaRosa wrote: »
    Being burnt alive in a home you cannot get out of ... I don't think so :(

    Poor little mites. Hope the home owners were not insured :mad:
    They weren't, they were tortoises.
  • SilverCrownSilverCrown Posts: 1,766
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    Irresponsible owners. Let's hope they've learned their lesson.
  • JulesandSandJulesandSand Posts: 6,010
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    BellaRosa wrote: »
    Being burnt alive in a home you cannot get out of ... I don't think so :(

    Poor little mites. Hope the home owners were not insured :mad:

    Why do you hope they were uninsured - it was an accident ffs!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,138
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    cjsmummy wrote: »
    There was a couple of tortoises mating when we were leaving Blackpool Zoo in the summer, I'll never forget the grunting sounds the male was making:eek:

    if you go back now, they've probably nearly finished
  • RuthStarRuthStar Posts: 5,729
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    Awww, Poor Tortoises, That story is actually from my neck of the woods, very rare a story from where I live gets its own thread on here..
  • agrainofsandagrainofsand Posts: 8,693
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    bugloss wrote: »
    if you go back now, they've probably nearly finished

    I'm picturing a smug-looking male tortoise smoking a cigarette.

    I suppose given the story that started this thread that's in poor taste.
  • cjsmummycjsmummy Posts: 11,079
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    bugloss wrote: »
    if you go back now, they've probably nearly finished

    Poor female.:cry:
  • HaloJoeHaloJoe Posts: 13,283
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    Sounds like their "sex is on fiiiire"
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,138
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    I'm picturing a smug-looking male tortoise smoking a cigarette.

    I suppose given the story that started this thread that's in poor taste.

    - How was it for you, Mabel?

    - oh sorry, i didn't know you'd started
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
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    TRIPS wrote: »
    If there anything like Turtles then they can bonk for hours,
    I remember one visit to Chester Zoo, as soon as we started walking round we heard a loud noise like oink, every few seconds oink, went on for hours and at the time had no idea what it was, got into the enclosure where the Turtles are and there's this Turtle on top of his mate still banging away, Oink.oink. think premature ejaculation for a Turtle is something like 4 hours.

    The way the word 'oink' keeps randomly popping up in this post cracked me up.
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