After years of resisting, I took the plunge into online dating at the beginning of last year. I decided to commit quite a lot of time (and money) into it and am currently signed up to 3 sites. It's not cheap, and I don't seem to be any closer to finding love!
I've been signed up to eHarmony for almost a year and expect I'll cancel it very soon. I'm an average looking bloke and, maybe, I have ideas above my station but I just don't fancy 99% of the women that they send me profiles of. I get "liked" maybe a few times a week, but it's a bit disheartening to log in and see someone you really don't fancy. I also find the way they attempt to structure upcoming relationships on the site irritatitng (send a smile, send questions, enter "guided communication").
I have been on 2 dates with rare women I did like the look of from there but nothing came of either (obviously not the site's fault! - just a lack of real-life attraction from, at least, one side).
I've also been signed up to Match for about 6 months or so. At first, I mistakenly signed up to Match Affinity (the sister site). If you're annoyed with sites sending you matches from outside your "catchment" area, steer well clear of that one. They may be able to find a perfect match for you, but if that person lives 200 miles away, it becomes a significant gamble. It was a complete waste of time/money for me as I imagine it's primarily used by older people (I'm early thirties) or those who want to exchange endless emails before finally meeting up.
I signed up to Match and, while I like the ability to search (eHarmony does not allow you), the search function is flawed and will always generate results outside of your area - no matter how much you fiddle with the filters. I've been on no dates with this site at all and had a few email conversations that went nowhere. To be fair, it's a long time since I sat down and did a search for potential matches on here, and I've actually turned off alerts as I was fed up of constant emails from people "winking at me".
Recently I signed up to mysinglefriend. The search function, again, is awful. It doesn't number pages and you'll end up seeing the same people more than once. I decided to dedicate a long time to searching through all of the people in my filter one night, and now can just display the new members once a week and be sure I'm not missing anyone I like the look of. I've found I like a higher percentages of the photos on there. I went on a date with a very nice woman from there but unfortunately, it came to nothing!.
So, that's me after 12 months. I've been on four sites, three first dates and spent easily over a grand on both It's disheartening...but I persevere.
After years of resisting, I took the plunge into online dating at the beginning of last year. I decided to commit quite a lot of time (and money) into it and am currently signed up to 3 sites. It's not cheap, and I don't seem to be any closer to finding love!
I've been signed up to eHarmony for almost a year and expect I'll cancel it very soon. I'm an average looking bloke and, maybe, I have ideas above my station but I just don't fancy 99% of the women that they send me profiles of. I get "liked" maybe a few times a week, but it's a bit disheartening to log in and see someone you really don't fancy. I also find the way they attempt to structure upcoming relationships on the site irritatitng (send a wink, send questions, enter "guided communication").
I have been on 2 dates with rare women I did like the look of from there but nothing came of either (obviously not the site's fault! - just a lack of real-life attraction from, at least, one side).
I've also been signed up to Match for about 6 months or so. At first, I mistakenly signed up to Match Affinity (the sister site). If you're annoyed with sites sending you matches from outside your "catchment" area, steer well clear of that one. They may be able to find a perfect match for you, but if that person lives 200 miles away, it becomes a significant gamble.
I signed up to Match and, while I like the ability to search (eHarmony does not allow you), the search function is flawed and will always generate results outside of you area. I've been on no dates with this site at all and had a few email conversations that went nowhere.
Recently I signed up to mysinglefriend. The search function, again, is awful. It doesn't number pages and you'll end up seeing the same people more than once. I decided to dedicate a long time to searching through all of the people in my filter one night, and now can just search the new ones the same way. I've found I like a higher percentages of the photos on there that I like the look of. I went on a date with a very nice woman from there (unfortunately, it came to nothing!).
So, that's me after 12 months. I've been on four sites, three dates and spent easily over a grand on both It's dishearterning...but I persevere.
Bit in bold is my experience too (with men of course) of Match, POF and Oasis. I can see eHarmony being no different. And with Match I also found I'd always get people popping up from Yorkshire, which drove me round the bend. It's not that far from me but it's far enough.
I do wonder if I don't put enough into it all, but after reading your experience of putting a lot of time and money into it, it sounds like that doesn't work either.
I do wonder if I don't put enough into it all, but after reading your experience of putting a lot of time and money into it, it sounds like that doesn't work either.
It's catching lightning in a bottle, unfortunately. A friend of mine was on mysinglefriend for, maybe, two months. He met a girl and, three years later, they're getting married this July. He got lucky.
In some ways, I appreciate the difficulty of it. Perhaps finding love shouldn't be easy. I know that, if/when I do find the lady for me, she's going to be very special...as I've sized up thousands of others so far!
It's catching lightning in a bottle, unfortunately. A friend of mine was on mysinglefriend for, maybe, two months. He met a girl and, three years later, they're getting married this July. He got lucky.
In some ways, I appreciate the difficulty of it. Perhaps finding love shouldn't be easy. I know that, if/when I do find the lady for me, she's going to be very special...as I've sized up thousands of others so far!
Has it occurred to you attraction isn't always instant, i used to believe that too. i didn't respond to my husbands messages but he didn't give up and I eventually replied. I didn't like my husbands photo as he was wearing sunglasses and on the first meet up I was pleasantly surprised. Even then I wasn't sure about how I felt and didn't give up. After 3 dates I felt something good. Don't just go by women's photos, some of us aren't photogenic whilst others are. It's so nice not being single after a long time of bring on my own. There's no such thing as luck just destiny and date.
There definitely is hope . I always thought I was going to die a spinster never having a proper relationship or tasting married life. I did nearly not see him on the third date as I got cold feet and wasn't sure but I went for it and I'm so glad I put myself out there. I know it's not easy and it wasn't for my husband as he had been divorced, he has a high profile job so i would never have met him in day to day life but thanks to eharmony we did.
Aww, your story has really lifted me!
I'm going on a date tomorrow evening with someone I met online. We have swapped a few emails and spoken on the phone once and have decided to meet for a quick coffee after work. It's good because, like me, he believes in getting to a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible. I'm still very nervous as he's a city lawyer and am worried he will be picky. I think I need to work on my confidence!
I joined match.com and ended up getting contacted by a lot of men in their mid forties in Wales (I'm early 30s and live in London!). Most of the men I winked at never responded. I cancelled my subscription recently.
Ignoring nonsense about destiny (?!), I'm perfectly aware that "luck" doesn't really exist. But there's no denying that some people are fortunate in going on one date and meeting the partner of their dreams, while others search for a very long time.
Has it occurred to you attraction isn't always instant, i used to believe that too.
Not always, no. But I think if you're pretty sure there's no future in pursuing a relationship after 3 hours, you should cut your losses.
Good on your fella for being persistent with you but he obviously saw something in you on that first date that I haven't seen with any of my first dates...except the last one, and, to be frank, I got a good impression that was a non-starter.
I'm going on a date tomorrow evening with someone I met online. We have swapped a few emails and spoken on the phone once and have decided to meet for a quick coffee after work. It's good because, like me, he believes in getting to a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible. I'm still very nervous as he's a city lawyer and am worried he will be picky. I think I need to work on my confidence!
I joined match.com and ended up getting contacted by a lot of men in their mid forties in Wales (I'm early 30s and live in London!). Most of the men I winked at never responded. I cancelled my subscription recently.
i don't know you Shappy, but you need to think that he's the lucky one getting meet you and I am sure that he is lucky!
In july 2011 i joined ok cupid , being a fully free dating site it was better than wasting money i did nt have on other dating sites on the off chance id meet someone.
I had little confidence and thought i would never meet anyone but being free i thought why not.
Within 2 weeks of joining i met up with someone , my first ever date. I was 18 at the time , still young i guess but it still stunk having always been single. Luckily we only lived a bus ride apart and got on well. He's now my fiance and we have been together 17 months today in fact.
Maybe i was lucky we were both on the site at the same , he'd only joined a few days before as well. But it may take longer for others to find the right one.
After years of resisting, I took the plunge into online dating at the beginning of last year. I decided to commit quite a lot of time (and money) into it and am currently signed up to 3 sites. It's not cheap, and I don't seem to be any closer to finding love!
I've been signed up to eHarmony for almost a year and expect I'll cancel it very soon. I'm an average looking bloke and, maybe, I have ideas above my station but I just don't fancy 99% of the women that they send me profiles of. I get "liked" maybe a few times a week, but it's a bit disheartening to log in and see someone you really don't fancy. I also find the way they attempt to structure upcoming relationships on the site irritatitng (send a smile, send questions, enter "guided communication").
I have been on 2 dates with rare women I did like the look of from there but nothing came of either (obviously not the site's fault! - just a lack of real-life attraction from, at least, one side).
I've also been signed up to Match for about 6 months or so. At first, I mistakenly signed up to Match Affinity (the sister site). If you're annoyed with sites sending you matches from outside your "catchment" area, steer well clear of that one. They may be able to find a perfect match for you, but if that person lives 200 miles away, it becomes a significant gamble. It was a complete waste of time/money for me as I imagine it's primarily used by older people (I'm early thirties) or those who want to exchange endless emails before finally meeting up.
I signed up to Match and, while I like the ability to search (eHarmony does not allow you), the search function is flawed and will always generate results outside of your area - no matter how much you fiddle with the filters. I've been on no dates with this site at all and had a few email conversations that went nowhere. To be fair, it's a long time since I sat down and did a search for potential matches on here, and I've actually turned off alerts as I was fed up of constant emails from people "winking at me".
Recently I signed up to mysinglefriend. The search function, again, is awful. It doesn't number pages and you'll end up seeing the same people more than once. I decided to dedicate a long time to searching through all of the people in my filter one night, and now can just display the new members once a week and be sure I'm not missing anyone I like the look of. I've found I like a higher percentages of the photos on there. I went on a date with a very nice woman from there but unfortunately, it came to nothing!.
So, that's me after 12 months. I've been on four sites, three first dates and spent easily over a grand on both It's disheartening...but I persevere.
I've not heard good things about MSF, the women I know that have tried it said the blokes were just looking for a shag and groups of them join together for this and the blokes have said that a lot of the profiles are old/inactive and there's no way to filter so you don't know if your messaging someone that's not logged on for months.
Was it all the stupid questions? My husband and I didn't bother with them. He asked if I'd like to speak with him and that was a relief as it saved us wasting time answering stupid questions we choose for each other and writing lots if stupid long emails. I don't like writing emails as it doesn't sound anything like me.
It was mainly spending time on all the questions, only to not get a response from members you send them to. As I've said in the other dating thread, you can never tell if the member has paid to join.
On match, I've received a few winks, but you can't even view the profile of the person who sent it you without a subscription.
I'm still in two minds whether to pay a subscription. I want to believe all the success stories on the site and hope that one day one of them will be my stories.
I'm another one who signed up to eHarmony, without paying, and got no matches!
As it's free, is OKCupid as seedy as Plenty of Fish? I think I've seen enough chavs posing half-naked! I don't mean to offend anyone who met their partner on POF but that's how it generally is!
It was mainly spending time on all the questions, only to not get a response from members you send them to. As I've said in the other dating thread, you can never tell if the member has paid to join.
On match, I've received a few winks, but you can't even view the profile of the person who sent it you without a subscription.
I'm still in two minds whether to pay a subscription. I want to believe all the success stories on the site and hope that one day one of them will be my stories.
What's the other dating thread Woofy? Is it the one in Chatter? I could talk for hours about dating websites and my gripes with them!
Match.com is so far the only one I've found that isn't either completely rubbish or a blatant scam.
But even with match there's a few dodgy elements - you do get the odd fake profile (a name, no details or very little, sometimes from a random place, suddenly starts saying hello in broken english), or favouriting you, and then they disappear a day or two later, if that.
And I did note that when I decided not to renew my subscription 2 weeks from the end of my 6 months all of a sudden I was being viewed left right and centre from all over the country. I don't think that's a scam so much but I do postulate that if you've paid and stop paying they change your profile in the search algorithm to get more folk viewing you, driving traffic to you in the hope that your curiosity will make you pay more!
Am I being cynical!?
But its not too bad, I did actually meet a few folk of it, they were nice but nothing ever developed from it.
I had sort of been thinking about the old-school introductions agency thing, but I'm not sure if that's worth it - seems vastly more expensive than online for a very slightly more personalised experience that probably works the same as online? Anyone tried that?
It was mainly spending time on all the questions, only to not get a response from members you send them to. As I've said in the other dating thread, you can never tell if the member has paid to join.
On match, I've received a few winks, but you can't even view the profile of the person who sent it you without a subscription.
I'm still in two minds whether to pay a subscription. I want to believe all the success stories on the site and hope that one day one of them will be my stories.
I decided to pay a sub to Match after receiving loads of winks and curiosity finally getting the better of me!
I was really annoyed to discover that all the winks I was receiving didn't actually exist!! It was just a ploy. :rolleyes:
However, I did get cracking and went on two dates in the month I was a member so it wasn't too bad.
It was mainly spending time on all the questions, only to not get a response from members you send them to. As I've said in the other dating thread, you can never tell if the member has paid to join.
On match, I've received a few winks, but you can't even view the profile of the person who sent it you without a subscription.
I'm still in two minds whether to pay a subscription. I want to believe all the success stories on the site and hope that one day one of them will be my stories.
I wish you all the best in finding her. I hope it's sooner rather than later and that she's everything you've ever hoped for! They goes for everyone else searching for their soulmates too.
I wish you all the best in finding her. I hope it's sooner rather than later and that she's everything you've ever hoped for! They goes for everyone else searching for their soulmates too.
Thanks SupernovaNebula.
And grotbags, the other thread was the one on White label dating sites, just within this sub forum.
I'm sure I remember a site offering you a refund on your subs if you weren't happy with the service (i.e. no messages or dates)
I don't know whether any sites do now but Match used to offer you another six months' subscription free if you hadn't had success after six months. I signed up to Match thinking that I'd at least get that offer if I had no success. Alas, I somehow later found out that they'd stopped doing that!
Well my date for tonight cancelled on me, but only after I texted this morning to ask where exactly we were meeting. He blamed a work meeting he only found out about this morning. He suggested rescheduling for Friday and I have agreed but will let him do the work about letting me know the details about exact time/place - I will not ask.
Well my date for tonight cancelled on me, but only after I texted this morning to ask where exactly we were meeting. He blamed a work meeting he only found out about this morning. He suggested rescheduling for Friday and I have agreed but will let him do the work about letting me know the details about exact time/place - I will not ask.
Hmmmm, keep us posted as to whether he comes up with meeting place.
Well my date for tonight cancelled on me, but only after I texted this morning to ask where exactly we were meeting. He blamed a work meeting he only found out about this morning. He suggested rescheduling for Friday and I have agreed but will let him do the work about letting me know the details about exact time/place - I will not ask.
If he's a city lawyer it sounds like a fair reason.
If he's a city lawyer it sounds like a fair reason.
Yes, that's why I'm reluctant to date these "high flyers" who work long hours: their work always comes first. Anyway, one cancellation I can take, but two and I'm out.
Comments
Thanks very much for that -- it does appear to work -- I will sign up later from home (am browsing forums whilst at work at the mo).
I've been signed up to eHarmony for almost a year and expect I'll cancel it very soon. I'm an average looking bloke and, maybe, I have ideas above my station but I just don't fancy 99% of the women that they send me profiles of. I get "liked" maybe a few times a week, but it's a bit disheartening to log in and see someone you really don't fancy. I also find the way they attempt to structure upcoming relationships on the site irritatitng (send a smile, send questions, enter "guided communication").
I have been on 2 dates with rare women I did like the look of from there but nothing came of either (obviously not the site's fault! - just a lack of real-life attraction from, at least, one side).
I've also been signed up to Match for about 6 months or so. At first, I mistakenly signed up to Match Affinity (the sister site). If you're annoyed with sites sending you matches from outside your "catchment" area, steer well clear of that one. They may be able to find a perfect match for you, but if that person lives 200 miles away, it becomes a significant gamble. It was a complete waste of time/money for me as I imagine it's primarily used by older people (I'm early thirties) or those who want to exchange endless emails before finally meeting up.
I signed up to Match and, while I like the ability to search (eHarmony does not allow you), the search function is flawed and will always generate results outside of your area - no matter how much you fiddle with the filters. I've been on no dates with this site at all and had a few email conversations that went nowhere. To be fair, it's a long time since I sat down and did a search for potential matches on here, and I've actually turned off alerts as I was fed up of constant emails from people "winking at me".
Recently I signed up to mysinglefriend. The search function, again, is awful. It doesn't number pages and you'll end up seeing the same people more than once. I decided to dedicate a long time to searching through all of the people in my filter one night, and now can just display the new members once a week and be sure I'm not missing anyone I like the look of. I've found I like a higher percentages of the photos on there. I went on a date with a very nice woman from there but unfortunately, it came to nothing!.
So, that's me after 12 months. I've been on four sites, three first dates and spent easily over a grand on both It's disheartening...but I persevere.
Bit in bold is my experience too (with men of course) of Match, POF and Oasis. I can see eHarmony being no different. And with Match I also found I'd always get people popping up from Yorkshire, which drove me round the bend. It's not that far from me but it's far enough.
I do wonder if I don't put enough into it all, but after reading your experience of putting a lot of time and money into it, it sounds like that doesn't work either.
Good for you for persevering.
It's catching lightning in a bottle, unfortunately. A friend of mine was on mysinglefriend for, maybe, two months. He met a girl and, three years later, they're getting married this July. He got lucky.
In some ways, I appreciate the difficulty of it. Perhaps finding love shouldn't be easy. I know that, if/when I do find the lady for me, she's going to be very special...as I've sized up thousands of others so far!
Has it occurred to you attraction isn't always instant, i used to believe that too. i didn't respond to my husbands messages but he didn't give up and I eventually replied. I didn't like my husbands photo as he was wearing sunglasses and on the first meet up I was pleasantly surprised. Even then I wasn't sure about how I felt and didn't give up. After 3 dates I felt something good. Don't just go by women's photos, some of us aren't photogenic whilst others are. It's so nice not being single after a long time of bring on my own. There's no such thing as luck just destiny and date.
Aww, your story has really lifted me!
I'm going on a date tomorrow evening with someone I met online. We have swapped a few emails and spoken on the phone once and have decided to meet for a quick coffee after work. It's good because, like me, he believes in getting to a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible. I'm still very nervous as he's a city lawyer and am worried he will be picky. I think I need to work on my confidence!
I joined match.com and ended up getting contacted by a lot of men in their mid forties in Wales (I'm early 30s and live in London!). Most of the men I winked at never responded. I cancelled my subscription recently.
Ignoring nonsense about destiny (?!), I'm perfectly aware that "luck" doesn't really exist. But there's no denying that some people are fortunate in going on one date and meeting the partner of their dreams, while others search for a very long time.
Not always, no. But I think if you're pretty sure there's no future in pursuing a relationship after 3 hours, you should cut your losses.
Good on your fella for being persistent with you but he obviously saw something in you on that first date that I haven't seen with any of my first dates...except the last one, and, to be frank, I got a good impression that was a non-starter.
i don't know you Shappy, but you need to think that he's the lucky one getting meet you and I am sure that he is lucky!
Good luck for tomorrow
Thank you grotbags1!
I shall try to be positive and just enjoy the meeting.
I had little confidence and thought i would never meet anyone but being free i thought why not.
Within 2 weeks of joining i met up with someone , my first ever date. I was 18 at the time , still young i guess but it still stunk having always been single. Luckily we only lived a bus ride apart and got on well. He's now my fiance and we have been together 17 months today in fact.
Maybe i was lucky we were both on the site at the same , he'd only joined a few days before as well. But it may take longer for others to find the right one.
I've not heard good things about MSF, the women I know that have tried it said the blokes were just looking for a shag and groups of them join together for this and the blokes have said that a lot of the profiles are old/inactive and there's no way to filter so you don't know if your messaging someone that's not logged on for months.
On match, I've received a few winks, but you can't even view the profile of the person who sent it you without a subscription.
I'm still in two minds whether to pay a subscription. I want to believe all the success stories on the site and hope that one day one of them will be my stories.
As it's free, is OKCupid as seedy as Plenty of Fish? I think I've seen enough chavs posing half-naked! I don't mean to offend anyone who met their partner on POF but that's how it generally is!
What's the other dating thread Woofy? Is it the one in Chatter? I could talk for hours about dating websites and my gripes with them!
But even with match there's a few dodgy elements - you do get the odd fake profile (a name, no details or very little, sometimes from a random place, suddenly starts saying hello in broken english), or favouriting you, and then they disappear a day or two later, if that.
And I did note that when I decided not to renew my subscription 2 weeks from the end of my 6 months all of a sudden I was being viewed left right and centre from all over the country. I don't think that's a scam so much but I do postulate that if you've paid and stop paying they change your profile in the search algorithm to get more folk viewing you, driving traffic to you in the hope that your curiosity will make you pay more!
Am I being cynical!?
But its not too bad, I did actually meet a few folk of it, they were nice but nothing ever developed from it.
I had sort of been thinking about the old-school introductions agency thing, but I'm not sure if that's worth it - seems vastly more expensive than online for a very slightly more personalised experience that probably works the same as online? Anyone tried that?
I decided to pay a sub to Match after receiving loads of winks and curiosity finally getting the better of me!
I was really annoyed to discover that all the winks I was receiving didn't actually exist!! It was just a ploy. :rolleyes:
However, I did get cracking and went on two dates in the month I was a member so it wasn't too bad.
I wish you all the best in finding her. I hope it's sooner rather than later and that she's everything you've ever hoped for! They goes for everyone else searching for their soulmates too.
Thanks SupernovaNebula.
And grotbags, the other thread was the one on White label dating sites, just within this sub forum.
That's what was making me hesitate (the ploy thing)
Maybe I should just bite the bullet and join.
I'm sure I remember a site offering you a refund on your subs if you weren't happy with the service (i.e. no messages or dates)
Thanks Woofy I was looking for it too.
I don't know whether any sites do now but Match used to offer you another six months' subscription free if you hadn't had success after six months. I signed up to Match thinking that I'd at least get that offer if I had no success. Alas, I somehow later found out that they'd stopped doing that!
Hmmmm, keep us posted as to whether he comes up with meeting place.
If he's a city lawyer it sounds like a fair reason.
Yes, that's why I'm reluctant to date these "high flyers" who work long hours: their work always comes first. Anyway, one cancellation I can take, but two and I'm out.
Will see what happens Friday.