That's exactly the same as me, although I really have thought about it and as much as having small breasts can get me down sometimes, I refuse to have a boob job and never will because I don't want to contribute to that part of society that brainwashes girls into thinking in order to be happy they have to have some kind of surgery. If you ever decide to go through with it then I can fully understand as I have thought about it so many times, but I really think it's not worth it, you Have to know for certain from that point onwards that you will be able to afford to keep having them redone x
Yeh you do have to keep having it redone, that's another con of mine. I wished I had your strong view on the whole thing, on the one hand I say to myself and others we should be happy with the way we look but then at the same time I can't take my own advice. When I was 17/18 I really wanted to have it done now I'm 21 it's still a thought but not something I'm desperate to have.
Good luck with the counselling, hope it goes well x
Haven't had time to read this entire thread, but for what it is worth, I fancy pale skin girls more than tanned girls. My fave is Paige in WWE, she wouldn't look half as hot as she does if she was tanned, in my opinion anyway. Same with Karen Gilan, another fave of mine.
Yeh you do have to keep having it redone, that's another con of mine. I wished I had your strong view on the whole thing, on the one hand I say to myself and others we should be happy with the way we look but then at the same time I can't take my own advice. When I was 17/18 I really wanted to have it done now I'm 21 it's still a thought but not something I'm desperate to have.
Good luck with the counselling, hope it goes well x
Well if you ever do decide to have it done, don't feel bad about it just because of strong views like mine. I would never think bad of another person for doing it because I totally understand the way you feel, and you are just a victim to the media messages, it's not your fault. I also totally get what you mean about the not being able to follow your own advice. Do whatever you feel will make you happy but just make sure you are 100% sure about it first.
Haven't had time to read this entire thread, but for what it is worth, I fancy pale skin girls more than tanned girls. My fave is Paige in WWE, she wouldn't look half as hot as she does if she was tanned, in my opinion anyway. Same with Karen Gilan, another fave of mine.
It's just the same as saying you look like a ghost, you need a tan. Because I'm not actually a ghost am I, I'm a perfectly healthy person, physical wise that just happens to be quite white. But I do get what you are saying. And yea and then when you fake tan you also get the comments from people about how you are 'orange' Lol, you can't win. I definitely feel more confident when I have a fake tan and I look orange though.
I guess the ghost thing has health connotations too (i.e. looking 'deathly' pale). I mean like irishguy says, there's plenty of health problems that can make your skin whiter, but I can't think of any well known ones that would make your skin browner. That's why I'm not offended when my doctor has asked me if I'm 'usually this pale?'. He must have had good reason to ask.
I know how you feel though. There's nothing worse than when you feel great and think you look great, and then someone says that you look very pale/tired/unwell >:(
Haven't had time to read this entire thread, but for what it is worth, I fancy pale skin girls more than tanned girls. My fave is Paige in WWE, she wouldn't look half as hot as she does if she was tanned, in my opinion anyway. Same with Karen Gilan, another fave of mine.
alyson hannigan, zooey deschanel.
Can think of loads more. Although AJ Lee is deffo the best in WWE :P
Sorry for taking a while to write back, too many comments to reply to all at once.
By saying that you give me an image of a max Branning look alike from eastenders, except you are just 5ft haha.
And that's a good way of looking at it
No worries and I'm more a mini Ross Kemp than Max Branning haha
All my life I have had people make insensitive comments about my pale skin tone, and then when I've actually used fake tan, you then get the comments from people about how orange you are.
I am naturally a pale person, I cannot tan naturally, I will just burn, then go back to being white as ever.
Would it be acceptable to tell a very black person to bleach their skin? No. So why do nearly most people think they should always tell people that they need a tan, say that she would look better with a tan, say she's a ghost and just in general people cannot help but make comments about how white you are in the summer. And it's generally seen as something shocking and criminal to dare to bare you're legs in shorts/dress or a skirt if they are pale.
Whenever I've told people that it's wrong to make comments about somebodies skin colour, they always tell me that it isn't offensive because being nasty about white skin can't be considered racist but being nasty about black skin is. I basically get told that I'm over reacting, yet I'm sure if I made any comments about any of their flaws they wouldn't like it and I would be considered nasty. It's as though people think that white people have control over how white they are!? when they don't, some people naturally tan and some people don't.
I've really become so fed up of it now. I just don't understand the obsession people seem to have with other people's skin colour, and why it's ok to make people feel crap about being naturally pale but would be considered so wrong if it was towards someone who is naturally very dark.
Am I over reacting?
Would be good to know how other people feel about this. Or even just to know why many people seem to think it's not offensive?
No, I think you're right. It's very rude to make personal comments to other people. Especially those which point out some observation about the way they look (unless wholly complimentary), whether that comment relates to their appearance, age or whatever, it's uninvited and almost invariably unprompted.
Probably the best thing to do is look for something in them that you feel might need improving, and comment on that. They'll soon get the message.
At the end of the day, you wouldn't say to an overweight person, "Oi Podgy, time you dropped a few pounds". So why with skin tone ?
I'm pale, almost translucent if the truth be told. All my life people have commented on how pale I am. I don't look well, etc. The best is when they advise me to get a tan! What? So I can look like you? An oomper loompa reject? No thanks dear. You have to learn to develop a thick skin. It isn't racism. It's just dumb people poking their nose in where it's not wanted. Just be equally as unpleasant about their appearance and they soon shut up, I've found.
As someone else who is very pale with ginger hair, I can relate too.
If you have a fake tan, everyone knows it is that! Fake.. and you end up looking like you have been tangoed.
I am happy with being pale most of the time, but it bugs me when people come back from their holidays and insist on standing next to me to show off how good their tans are!
Noone should ever make you feel bad about yourself, you should not tan just because others are telling you it's up to you what you do with your body.
Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud said she was pressured into using sunbeds etc. She soon became addicted to it but now she doesn't use it at all and embraces her pale skin.
Also racism can happen against white people, so I disagree with what your friends say.
Its the same with ginger people,they experience terrible bulliyng in some cases that you could never do with someone of any other colouring.
I think red hair and pale skin actually looks gorgeous on women but for some reason its not 'commercially ' attractive.
I am very pale naturally almost translucent and people were forever asking me in summer 'why don't you get a tan?' 'Oh,you would look so nice with a tan'
Well actually I couldn't GET a tan,I went straight to red then fade back to white
I go on sunbeds every now and then and burn. So tbh I agree there is a pressure not to look white but the option of conforming just isn't worth it.
I'm olive and I don't get bad comments just "You're not really that white" and "Is that real or fake tan". It's strangely because I'm actually from a country that stereotypically burns easily. Whereas I tan there.
Noone should ever make you feel bad about yourself, you should not tan just because others are telling you it's up to you what you do with your body.
Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud said she was pressured into using sunbeds etc. She soon became addicted to it but now she doesn't use it at all and embraces her pale skin.
Also racism can happen against white people, so I disagree with what your friends say.
I agree with this post. I don't know why people think its acceptable to make personal remarks about someone's appearance like this. I know someone who has the same problem and like the OP is perfectly healthy, its can chip away at self confidence especially towards a young person. Pay no attention, you know you are ok so their opinion is not relevant or important. Its the same with slim people who have to put up with comments about their size, yet you couldn't say it to a fat person (nor should you), personal comments about appearance are not acceptable, theres too much importance put on what we look like nowadays, we should all just be happy to be alive at all!!
I guess the ghost thing has health connotations too (i.e. looking 'deathly' pale). I mean like irishguy says, there's plenty of health problems that can make your skin whiter, but I can't think of any well known ones that would make your skin browner. That's why I'm not offended when my doctor has asked me if I'm 'usually this pale?'. He must have had good reason to ask.
I know how you feel though. There's nothing worse than when you feel great and think you look great, and then someone says that you look very pale/tired/unwell >:(
Liver dysfunction can make you look orangey yellow..just like fake tan does.
Why anyone would want to pay good money to make themselves look like they've got jaundice I can't imagine.
We haven't always had this obsession about being tanned. It started about 40 years ago, but even then it was just in the summer.It was a status symbol that said "look at me, I've got a tan.That means I can afford a holiday abroad".Nothing to do with looking healthy, everything to do with looking wealthy.
But anyone can afford foreign holidays now, so it's no longer a status symbol.
Amongst all the Katie Prices and Michelle Keegans of this world there are ladies like Sophie Ellis Bextor who refused to have spray tans when she was on Strictly Come Dancing last year.
I know which of these three women I would consider the classiest.
I think that pale is becoming much more fashionable, these days it's mainly chavvy zlisters who sport the deeply tanned look. If you look on the Hollywood red carpets, the actress and models have for the most part, flawlessly creamy skin.
OP, just think when all your friends/family are suffering from wrinkles and sun damage in later years, your skin will still be beautiful (providing you take care of it in the meantime!).
I'm half-Spanish and I am seriously white - I call it the Andres Iniesta gene However, I never go out in the sun without factor 50 on my face and I'm often told I look ten years younger than I am.
Embrace your skin tone, dare to be different from all the girls that look like a citrus fruit - and buy a decent sunscreen
Comments
Skimmed the OP, got this far down the thread before deciding I'd seen enough idiocy for one day.
Maybe you've just rolled in from the pub or something a fair bit piddled.
Yeh you do have to keep having it redone, that's another con of mine. I wished I had your strong view on the whole thing, on the one hand I say to myself and others we should be happy with the way we look but then at the same time I can't take my own advice. When I was 17/18 I really wanted to have it done now I'm 21 it's still a thought but not something I'm desperate to have.
Good luck with the counselling, hope it goes well x
Well if you ever do decide to have it done, don't feel bad about it just because of strong views like mine. I would never think bad of another person for doing it because I totally understand the way you feel, and you are just a victim to the media messages, it's not your fault. I also totally get what you mean about the not being able to follow your own advice. Do whatever you feel will make you happy but just make sure you are 100% sure about it first.
Thank you very much X
Nope, not drunk, definitely need some sleep though! I know what I meant by that comment, I just didn't explain it very well to begin with.
Wow! They are both gorgeous.
I guess the ghost thing has health connotations too (i.e. looking 'deathly' pale). I mean like irishguy says, there's plenty of health problems that can make your skin whiter, but I can't think of any well known ones that would make your skin browner. That's why I'm not offended when my doctor has asked me if I'm 'usually this pale?'. He must have had good reason to ask.
I know how you feel though. There's nothing worse than when you feel great and think you look great, and then someone says that you look very pale/tired/unwell >:(
alyson hannigan, zooey deschanel.
Can think of loads more. Although AJ Lee is deffo the best in WWE :P
No worries
No, I think you're right. It's very rude to make personal comments to other people. Especially those which point out some observation about the way they look (unless wholly complimentary), whether that comment relates to their appearance, age or whatever, it's uninvited and almost invariably unprompted.
Probably the best thing to do is look for something in them that you feel might need improving, and comment on that. They'll soon get the message.
At the end of the day, you wouldn't say to an overweight person, "Oi Podgy, time you dropped a few pounds". So why with skin tone ?
I bought my other half a handbag just like this.
That reminds of the old women in Benidorm (TV show, not the place)
If you have a fake tan, everyone knows it is that! Fake.. and you end up looking like you have been tangoed.
I am happy with being pale most of the time, but it bugs me when people come back from their holidays and insist on standing next to me to show off how good their tans are!
Its the same with ginger people,they experience terrible bulliyng in some cases that you could never do with someone of any other colouring.
I think red hair and pale skin actually looks gorgeous on women but for some reason its not 'commercially ' attractive.
I am very pale naturally almost translucent and people were forever asking me in summer 'why don't you get a tan?' 'Oh,you would look so nice with a tan'
Well actually I couldn't GET a tan,I went straight to red then fade back to white
I go on sunbeds every now and then and burn.
Embrace who you are naturally
I agree with this post. I don't know why people think its acceptable to make personal remarks about someone's appearance like this. I know someone who has the same problem and like the OP is perfectly healthy, its can chip away at self confidence especially towards a young person. Pay no attention, you know you are ok so their opinion is not relevant or important. Its the same with slim people who have to put up with comments about their size, yet you couldn't say it to a fat person (nor should you), personal comments about appearance are not acceptable, theres too much importance put on what we look like nowadays, we should all just be happy to be alive at all!!
Liver dysfunction can make you look orangey yellow..just like fake tan does.
Why anyone would want to pay good money to make themselves look like they've got jaundice I can't imagine.
We haven't always had this obsession about being tanned. It started about 40 years ago, but even then it was just in the summer.It was a status symbol that said "look at me, I've got a tan.That means I can afford a holiday abroad".Nothing to do with looking healthy, everything to do with looking wealthy.
But anyone can afford foreign holidays now, so it's no longer a status symbol.
Amongst all the Katie Prices and Michelle Keegans of this world there are ladies like Sophie Ellis Bextor who refused to have spray tans when she was on Strictly Come Dancing last year.
I know which of these three women I would consider the classiest.
Times they are a changing, thank fook
I'm half-Spanish and I am seriously white - I call it the Andres Iniesta gene
Embrace your skin tone, dare to be different from all the girls that look like a citrus fruit - and buy a decent sunscreen