Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)

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  • nitenursenitenurse Posts: 1,116
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    Suzy_Cat wrote: »
    Is that Michael the cat-assaulting collie in her photo?

    Her Colle Husband, no less.

    I'm not sure, his coat was in good shape, I only remember him n that picture when she took her canine spouse to a fashion show. He looked terrified and truth be told, mangy
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    Suzy_Cat wrote: »
    Is that Michael the cat-assaulting collie in her photo?

    Yup - that's Michael the Murderous Mutt. In the photograph, he seems to be gazing intensely at Jones's crotch ...hope she was wearing one of her only two pairs of knickers. Hasn't she referred to him, in other 'Drearies', as her 'boyfriend'?
  • day dreamerday dreamer Posts: 978
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    She name dropped Sex and the City again. It's bemusing how a woman who supposedly doesn't like being touched and didn't lose her virginity until age 32 is so obsessed with that show. She seems to legitimately believe she is just like one of those characters.

    Then there's all the rubbish with buying expensive designer clothes and planning a wedding costing thousands when she was going on about how hard up for cash she was.

    I firmly believe the woman is nothing but a master troll. There is no way anything she writes is true.
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
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    Why would two middle-aged, been-married-before people who have allegedly fallen on hard financial times want a giant church wedding anyway? Incidentally, if he's Catholic, as she says, they can't get married in a church anyway (unless he's had an annulment, which I hope is not the case because annulments are evil). What's WRONG with a celebrant or the registry office followed by a few pints and crisps down the local? If it's good enough for Princess Anne, Kate Winslet (first wedding), Deirdre Langton and EVEN Carrie Bradshaw when she finally did get married, it's good enough for Liz. Surely?
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    Small problem with having a cliffhanger ending to an article that's published four weeks after it's been written: if your other musings are published in real time, it becomes obvious that Actually Nothing Bad Happened.

    Liz Jones: probably the worst journalist in the world.
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    Today's 'Dreary' - she sounds The Guest From Hell. And what's with the David in the shed behind the bonfire stuff??? Sometimes I wonder if she's been on the Prosecco when she's writing this drivel.
  • ravensboroughravensborough Posts: 5,188
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    Bellagio wrote: »
    Small problem with having a cliffhanger ending to an article that's published four weeks after it's been written: if your other musings are published in real time, it becomes obvious that Actually Nothing Bad Happened.

    Liz Jones: probably the worst journalist in the world.

    According to the Mail today, she's a brilliant writer: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3132971/Ouch-50-Shades-backlash-Two-brilliant-writers-THRASH-new-E-L-James-bonkbuster-whipping-readers-frenzy.html

    No wonder she's got an ego as big as China!
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    Today's 'Dreary' - she sounds The Guest From Hell. And what's with the David in the shed behind the bonfire stuff???

    The painfully transparent inference is that he was having a quick puff of waccy baccy.
  • nitenursenitenurse Posts: 1,116
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    Bellagio wrote: »
    The painfully transparent inference is that he was having a quick puff of waccy baccy.

    Helps him get through the adventures with Liz.

    I'm suprized he's not using something stronger!
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    So, apart from being "excruciatingly badly written", "tedious" in parts, " repetitive in places" and "far too long", she "love, love, loved it!"

    Really makes you want to read the novel she's writing, doesn't it ? Mind, she'd know bout the "excruciatingly badly written" bit, wouldn't she ?
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
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    Good God, who would want Liz Jones at their party?

    Her issues with parents are well known, and offensive quite frankly, but I am suspicious of them. I, like Liz, am a middle aged childless female and people do not just randomly start going on and on about their children at me, not on the level Liz suggests. Of course I actually LIKE children and am happy to hear about them.

    What people DO do, and Liz has never mentioned this that I know of, is ask me if *I* have children. It's the fairly standard question aimed at older adults, and Liz is older than I am.

    I imagine Liz's response along the lines of:

    http://www.american-buddha.com/apolyester128c.jpg

    Except of course for all those times she is totally down on sexuality.

    It's really insulting the way she can't keep her stories straight from week to week. Claiming she's facing penury while forking out for $400 trackies and insisting that "her" gardener work to the point of illness. SHUDDER.
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    She must know where a LOT of bodies are buried, for the MoS to keep her on ... because even by MoS, and DM standards, her stuff is pretty bizarre and not ... I say this kindly ... entirely rational? Reminds me, have we heard from dear Shona Sibary lately, offering up her poor teenage kids/husband as column fodder?
  • Rubbish NameRubbish Name Posts: 619
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    Shones reared her.. um.. head about a month ago, speaking for 'all women'. We all prefer sons to daughters. Shona said so.
    Admit it! All mums prefer their sons to their daughters... or so insists very provocative mother of four Shona Sibary

    And of course somebody amusingly reported her to Social Services in April:
    Shopped to social services because I'm not a perfect mum: Shona Sibary on the malicious phone call that could have seen her little girl taken into care
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    Interesting - just Googled "Liz Jones" +Buddhist and found... nothing. Not a prior single reference. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. Diddly, yea and squat.

    Even if she was - and the available evidence is overwhelmingly against it: all the Buddhists I know of are lovely people (viz, the Dali Lama) - she makes the common misconception that it's a religion. In fact it's both a system for living and (sit down, in the current context, this is a killer) "a path of practice and spiritual development leading to Insight into the true nature of reality. Buddhist practices like meditation are means of changing yourself in order to develop the qualities of awareness, kindness, and wisdom."

    Reality... awareness... kindness... wisdom. Yes, the very words that spring to mind when I hear the name "Liz Jones".
  • seventhwaveseventhwave Posts: 4,967
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    Now, I may be wrong on both these points, but as far as I'm aware:

    1. The Dalai Lama advises that people not born in a predominantly Buddhist country shouldn't convert to Buddhism

    2. Buddhism teaches about learning to let go of attachments to the physical world ... which includes the pursuit of materialism, so don't fork out for a bat sanctuary, "equine behaviourist" and £400 worth of tracksuit bottoms
  • vampyrevampyre Posts: 613
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    She did announce she was a Jain, which is often identified as a Buddhist sect. To put it mildly this use of the faith as yet another fashion statement, was very offensive to followers of Jainism
  • seventhwaveseventhwave Posts: 4,967
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    Jainism (as I understand) places a high value on non-violence and protecting life. Jains believe in causing no harm to animals and are usually vegetarian or vegan. Yeah, why do I get the feeling this is another of Liz's "LOOK HOW SPIRITUAL I AM AND HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT ANIMALS" fandangos? (She's said she admires some followers who choose to wear masks so they don't accidentally destroy insects by breathing them in. So she's concerned for the welfare of minute insects but will happily let her dogs savage her cat ... OK then)

    And Jainism, like other forms of Buddhism teaches against materialism. So put down those Louboutins!
  • vampyrevampyre Posts: 613
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    She declared herself to be a 'superior' being by virtue of being an adherent of the faith.
    Even more ludicrous and offensive than usual.
  • day dreamerday dreamer Posts: 978
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    vampyre wrote: »
    She declared herself to be a 'superior' being by virtue of being an adherent of the faith.
    Even more ludicrous and offensive than usual.

    I think she justs sits there all day thinking up the most ludicrous statements for clickbait. No way is she for real.
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
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    She's probably a Buddhist in the Edina Monsoon "chanting for lots of lovely things" sense.
  • Suzy_CatSuzy_Cat Posts: 1,368
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    I somehow missed this:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3123131/LIZ-JONES-Ferrari-pension-buy-hole-ground.html

    As for Shona Sibary, her vileness gives Liz a run for her money. I wish Shona wasn't so unfortunate looking, I'd feel more comfortable mocking her.
  • LizzyrozLizzyroz Posts: 844
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    Suzy_Cat wrote: »

    ''My pension pot stands at £25,000 – not enough for a yacht, but at least a lump towards my tax bill.''

    Ah. So you DO have enough to pay the taxman what you owe then Liz?

    STOP BLOODY MOANING THEN!
  • BellagioBellagio Posts: 3,249
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    This week's Dreary is the usual blather (remember the cliff-hanger ending from last week ? Seems she didn't.), and this farticle -

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-3141945/LIZ-JONES-week-bad-m-taking-ultimate-step-going-offline.html

    - is much the same, but salted within is an interesting paragraph (assuming she's not lying as per - third from last).

    Oh, and Liz, all mobile phones have this handy feature that hardly anyone uses: it's called an "off switch".
  • seventhwaveseventhwave Posts: 4,967
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    "Sickening harbinger of DOOM" You know, no one's forcing you to have a mobile …

    Well Liz, clearly you did NOT "get on like a house on fire" with the ex-wife! And you'll be wanting to gracefully decline that cameo of Jesus, you being so very Buddhist …
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