I keep having to remind myself its Christmas day.. tomorrow I have the Christmas spirit zapped out of me! .. I just feel Halow and Numb,.. And wouldnt care if i spent the day in bed.. but yeah do you put a brave face on?
Another vote not to drink if you're depressed, it magnifies the depression, it doesn't ease it. Be kind to yourself, don't force yourself to be the life and soul of the party - but if you're spending Christmas with family, don't inflict your misery on them, just fake a bit of enthusiasm for an hour or two, or however long Christmas lunch takes.
I keep having to remind myself its Christmas day.. tomorrow I have the Christmas spirit zapped out of me! .. I just feel Halow and Numb,.. And wouldnt care if i spent the day in bed.. but yeah do you put a brave face on?
Is is not easy but I realise there are a good majority of people out there who are not happy either and put a brave face on to mask the emotional pain. It is difficult for me being on my own and with no children I see dads with their kids and wonder if that will ever be me.
I try to make an effort on Christmas Day to be upbeat as I don't want to spoil anyone's Christmas with how I am feeling.
I was depressed last year as I had went deaf, lost job, house etc. But last Christmas they were putting in a cochlear implant which was the last thing they could do to give me hearing. But I was anxious and depressed.
Well it worked, not as good as normal hearing but was great to be able to hear again.
Ear became infected and they had to removed it.
I'm now waiting to see consultant in Feb as to whether he can put a new one in, and of course if it'll work.
Well my ear is still infected - it weeps fluid and inflamed. He had hoped to do it befor Christmas, but ear too infected.
So I see him in Feb and am so anxious because ear hasn't imporoved and there nothing else they can try if it fails.
So I'm so anxious about that plus I'm totally deaf right now - can't hear a thing. It is so isolating.
I've been invited to zero nights out or even Christmas lunch. It slows things up when people have to write everything down.
I can't wait till January and all of this is done. I was depressed last year but not hearly as bad as this year.
I was depressed last year as I had went deaf, lost job, house etc. But last Christmas they were putting in a cochlear implant which was the last thing they could do to give me hearing. But I was anxious and depressed.
Well it worked, not as good as normal hearing but was great to be able to hear again.
Ear became infected and they had to removed it.
I'm now waiting to see consultant in Feb as to whether he can put a new one in, and of course if it'll work.
Well my ear is still infected - it weeps fluid and inflamed. He had hoped to do it befor Christmas, but ear too infected.
So I see him in Feb and am so anxious because ear hasn't imporoved and there nothing else they can try if it fails.
So I'm so anxious about that plus I'm totally deaf right now - can't hear a thing. It is so isolating.
I've been invited to zero nights out or even Christmas lunch. It slows things up when people have to write everything down.
I can't wait till January and all of this is done. I was depressed last year but not hearly as bad as this year.
I keep having to remind myself its Christmas day.. tomorrow I have the Christmas spirit zapped out of me! .. I just feel Halow and Numb,.. And wouldnt care if i spent the day in bed.. but yeah do you put a brave face on?
The simple answer is don't remind yourself it's Christmas day tomorrow. It's a crap time of year for a lot of people so treat tomorrow as though it's just another Sunday, spent your day in your jamas in bed and eat chocolate and chips if you want. Just remember, the day is yours, do whatever you want and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
Just think of it as a day off. No pressure, go for a walk and stop giving the day a label. I am on my own and have been for the last 4 years, got up had breakfast went for a walk, washed the car, read a bit, day done.
I was depressed last year as I had went deaf, lost job, house etc. But last Christmas they were putting in a cochlear implant which was the last thing they could do to give me hearing. But I was anxious and depressed.
Well it worked, not as good as normal hearing but was great to be able to hear again.
Ear became infected and they had to removed it.
I'm now waiting to see consultant in Feb as to whether he can put a new one in, and of course if it'll work.
Well my ear is still infected - it weeps fluid and inflamed. He had hoped to do it befor Christmas, but ear too infected.
So I see him in Feb and am so anxious because ear hasn't imporoved and there nothing else they can try if it fails.
So I'm so anxious about that plus I'm totally deaf right now - can't hear a thing. It is so isolating.
I've been invited to zero nights out or even Christmas lunch. It slows things up when people have to write everything down.
I can't wait till January and all of this is done. I was depressed last year but not hearly as bad as this year.
I can only imagine how frustrating and isolated you must feel. I've had my fair share of medical problems and ops going wrong and at times I wanted to call it a day. I wish you all the best I hope your infection clears up and your operation is successful.
Is is not easy but I realise there are a good majority of people out there who are not happy either and put a brave face on to mask the emotional pain. It is difficult for me being on my own and with no children I see dads with their kids and wonder if that will ever be me.
I try to make an effort on Christmas Day to be upbeat as I don't want to spoil anyone's Christmas with how I am feeling.
Couldn't have put this better myself. My first Xmas alone for six years, I've had a brave face in the run up but that's slipped now, just need to get it painted back on in time for tomorrow. Went for a walk along the beach earlier and it was soul destroying to see couples with their kids knowing that I'm never going to have that.
It's just me and the dog this Xmas. I thought I was ok with that until my neighbours had all their family turning up today. But at least I don't need to put on a brave face all day tomorrow.
Like others, I would say don't drink. It will make you feel much worse. I'm going to have plenty of naps, go for a walk in the fresh air with the dog and just remind myself it's one day.
I'm struggling a lot with depression at the moment so am reminding myself that I've done pretty well to even get to Xmas day without ending it all. New Year is worse for me. All those resolutions and looking back at the things I haven't acheived again. But for tonight, I've taken my sleeping pills and I'm off to bed for a few hours of happy sedation. It helps a lot to have the dog cuddled up next to me too.
I can only imagine how frustrating and isolated you must feel. I've had my fair share of medical problems and ops going wrong and at times I wanted to call it a day. I wish you all the best I hope your infection clears up and your operation is successful.
Thanks very much! Yep there've been times when I've wanted to call it a day - when you go through surgery and treatment only for it to make the condition worse.
Couldn't have put this better myself. My first Xmas alone for six years, I've had a brave face in the run up but that's slipped now, just need to get it painted back on in time for tomorrow. Went for a walk along the beach earlier and it was soul destroying to see couples with their kids knowing that I'm never going to have that.
Poor thing - don't see it as soul destroying - feeling any emotion, strengthens and affirms the soul and spirit though it's so hard to see it at the time..
Society makes us feel this way I think. The Christmases I avoided tv as an adult have been much more pleasant..
You never know what goes on behind closed doors, seriously - it works both ways, I have children and feel constantly guilty in not making it magical enough for them... It can really get stressful though I do hide it
Having children really isn't the be all and end all of life either - it puts a lot of pressure on relationships . Many of my friends, rightly or wrongly have described it as 'a prison' ..And there is always fostering?
Enjoy and cherish your health and your freedom - sorry I'm clumsy n rubbish at these things but really felt for you when I read that, I know how it feels to realise your lifelong dreams were just a fantasy but write about it, keep a record of how you feel. Use your time and energy perhaps to volunteer on that day? One of the best Christmas of my life I didn't speak to a soul all day and I look back on it with great fondness and nostalgia..
Take care and have a wonderful day , be nice to yourself! Love and light to everyone who is feeling this way tonight
Scotch - my heart broke reading your story too, I had slight loss of hearing after an assault and it has affected me no end. Can't imagine what you must be going through, wish we could all pop by n share a pint festive cheer.. Technology is absolutely incredible these days and they will sort things for you.
Op thanks for the refreshing honest thread too n hope you find some inspiration tomorrow !
It's just me and the dog this Xmas. I thought I was ok with that until my neighbours had all their family turning up today. But at least I don't need to put on a brave face all day tomorrow.
Me and the dog here too. Everyone around me seems to be having a family gathering but my parents are dead and I don't have kids or siblings.. I feel I should invent some guests just so I don't go down on their 'to be pitied' lists.
Me and the dog here too. Everyone around me seems to be having a family gathering but my parents are dead and I don't have kids or siblings.. I feel I should invent some guests just so I don't go down on their 'to be pitied' lists.
No parents or kids here either. I used to work every Xmas, then had to go through the experience of being invited to neighbours for the day, where I always felt pitied. I do prefer to be on my own but am aware that it's not 'normal'. I'll see a few other dog walkers this morning though and will pop round to a neighbours so they can give my dog his present.
I think I'm going to go back to bed for most of the day.
Poor thing - don't see it as soul destroying - feeling any emotion, strengthens and affirms the soul and spirit though it's so hard to see it at the time..
Society makes us feel this way I think. The Christmases I avoided tv as an adult have been much more pleasant..
You never know what goes on behind closed doors, seriously - it works both ways, I have children and feel constantly guilty in not making it magical enough for them... It can really get stressful though I do hide it
Having children really isn't the be all and end all of life either - it puts a lot of pressure on relationships . Many of my friends, rightly or wrongly have described it as 'a prison' ..And there is always fostering?
Enjoy and cherish your health and your freedom - sorry I'm clumsy n rubbish at these things but really felt for you when I read that, I know how it feels to realise your lifelong dreams were just a fantasy but write about it, keep a record of how you feel. Use your time and energy perhaps to volunteer on that day? One of the best Christmas of my life I didn't speak to a soul all day and I look back on it with great fondness and nostalgia..
Take care and have a wonderful day , be nice to yourself! Love and light to everyone who is feeling this way tonight
Thank you. It's almost time to put the brave face back on to face the day. I just hate the pressure that comes with Xmas to be happy, this time last year I was planning on getting married, buying a house, thinking about starting a family of my own, then by February all that was gone and I had a few really dark months and the rest of this year has been a struggle. Thanks to some friends I have survived somehow,, but all my friends are settled with children and babies and I am the odd one out. So really feeling it this year, and although I have family I have to be the strong one as I have to also care for my mum (I work full time as well) so this is why the brave face has to come out when inside I just want to stay in bed all day and not see anyone hoping that it's over quicker.
I know from looking at this forum over the past few years that it helps because there are always people posting who feel the same, and also people posting who are trying to escape their partners / husbands / in laws!
Scotch - my heart broke reading your story too, I had slight loss of hearing after an assault and it has affected me no end. Can't imagine what you must be going through, wish we could all pop by n share a pint festive cheer.. Technology is absolutely incredible these days and they will sort things for you.
Op thanks for the refreshing honest thread too n hope you find some inspiration tomorrow !
Born lippy - thank you very much for taking the time to type your message. Very wise words and you have lifted my spirits this morning somewhat.
I had so much to look forward to this Christmas but all that has gone now. I have two kids and we're going to my brothers today but really I just want to stay at home and go back to bed but feel guilty for feeling this way. I will put a brave face on but it's killing me inside.
As sad as it may sound I'm taking my joggers and trainers and if it all gets too much for me I'll go out for a run. Exercise has never been my thing but it's my saving grace now, I'm waiting for the gym to re-open and to get some normality back in my life.
Thank you. It's almost time to put the brave face back on to face the day. I just hate the pressure that comes with Xmas to be happy, this time last year I was planning on getting married, buying a house, thinking about starting a family of my own, then by February all that was gone and I had a few really dark months and the rest of this year has been a struggle. Thanks to some friends I have survived somehow,, but all my friends are settled with children and babies and I am the odd one out. So really feeling it this year, and although I have family I have to be the strong one as I have to also care for my mum (I work full time as well) so this is why the brave face has to come out when inside I just want to stay in bed all day and not see anyone hoping that it's over quicker.
I know from looking at this forum over the past few years that it helps because there are always people posting who feel the same, and also people posting who are trying to escape their partners / husbands / in laws!
Aww this will sound hard to believe - but your friends all probably envy your cool free single life, secretly. While they change their nth nappy of the day, try n stop the kids fighting over presents, as their energy is sapped through breastfeeding.. As their husbands heads turn at pretty girls in the street and they feel frumpy and insecure. I'm sorry to hear about what happened in Feb but it clearly wasn't meant to be... There is better out there for you but ENJOY the freedom while you have it. I adore being single, is the mum part that is the challenge!!
Hope you have a really fab day, is your name really Carrie? Am imagining you as some kind of nyc sex columnist now!!
Born lippy - thank you very much for taking the time to type your message. Very wise words and you have lifted my spirits this morning somewhat.
Best wishes!
Awww thanks - chin chin to that! *lifts my own glass o spirits to clink with yours* (though sadly I'm on the OJ haha) you have a lovely peaceful happy day ! Such nice weather out there!
I had so much to look forward to this Christmas but all that has gone now. I have two kids and we're going to my brothers today but really I just want to stay at home and go back to bed but feel guilty for feeling this way. I will put a brave face on but it's killing me inside.
As sad as it may sound I'm taking my joggers and trainers and if it all gets too much for me I'll go out for a run. Exercise has never been my thing but it's my saving grace now, I'm waiting for the gym to re-open and to get some normality back in my life.
You aren't alone!! Seriously! Don't feel guilty. It's exhausting and there is so much pressure on us.
Can't you ask your bro to take the little ones today so you can get some freedom n peace? Some headspace to relax guilt free? It sounds like you need it n certainly deserve it. The few times I've had breaks I've been a better stronger mum for it.
All the people who have given me presents, I've secretly wished they're just take the kids for an hour instead!! Now that is bad eh
If not then the jog will help you clear your head, if I went for a jog right now don't know if I'd be able to stop running though haha
Comments
It also makes you post the same question twice, with typos.
Is is not easy but I realise there are a good majority of people out there who are not happy either and put a brave face on to mask the emotional pain. It is difficult for me being on my own and with no children I see dads with their kids and wonder if that will ever be me.
I try to make an effort on Christmas Day to be upbeat as I don't want to spoil anyone's Christmas with how I am feeling.
Depression isn't helped by alcohol.
Although millions of 'happy' people are seen drinking around town centres each and every weekend having a good time.
The key with depression is exercise and been around 'others'.
I was depressed last year as I had went deaf, lost job, house etc. But last Christmas they were putting in a cochlear implant which was the last thing they could do to give me hearing. But I was anxious and depressed.
Well it worked, not as good as normal hearing but was great to be able to hear again.
Ear became infected and they had to removed it.
I'm now waiting to see consultant in Feb as to whether he can put a new one in, and of course if it'll work.
Well my ear is still infected - it weeps fluid and inflamed. He had hoped to do it befor Christmas, but ear too infected.
So I see him in Feb and am so anxious because ear hasn't imporoved and there nothing else they can try if it fails.
So I'm so anxious about that plus I'm totally deaf right now - can't hear a thing. It is so isolating.
I've been invited to zero nights out or even Christmas lunch. It slows things up when people have to write everything down.
I can't wait till January and all of this is done. I was depressed last year but not hearly as bad as this year.
So sorry, hope you get your ear sorted out
Thanks very much moonlily
The simple answer is don't remind yourself it's Christmas day tomorrow. It's a crap time of year for a lot of people so treat tomorrow as though it's just another Sunday, spent your day in your jamas in bed and eat chocolate and chips if you want. Just remember, the day is yours, do whatever you want and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.
I can only imagine how frustrating and isolated you must feel. I've had my fair share of medical problems and ops going wrong and at times I wanted to call it a day. I wish you all the best I hope your infection clears up and your operation is successful.
Couldn't have put this better myself. My first Xmas alone for six years, I've had a brave face in the run up but that's slipped now, just need to get it painted back on in time for tomorrow. Went for a walk along the beach earlier and it was soul destroying to see couples with their kids knowing that I'm never going to have that.
Like others, I would say don't drink. It will make you feel much worse. I'm going to have plenty of naps, go for a walk in the fresh air with the dog and just remind myself it's one day.
I'm struggling a lot with depression at the moment so am reminding myself that I've done pretty well to even get to Xmas day without ending it all. New Year is worse for me. All those resolutions and looking back at the things I haven't acheived again. But for tonight, I've taken my sleeping pills and I'm off to bed for a few hours of happy sedation. It helps a lot to have the dog cuddled up next to me too.
Thanks very much! Yep there've been times when I've wanted to call it a day - when you go through surgery and treatment only for it to make the condition worse.
Thanks very much
Society makes us feel this way I think. The Christmases I avoided tv as an adult have been much more pleasant..
You never know what goes on behind closed doors, seriously - it works both ways, I have children and feel constantly guilty in not making it magical enough for them... It can really get stressful though I do hide it
Having children really isn't the be all and end all of life either - it puts a lot of pressure on relationships . Many of my friends, rightly or wrongly have described it as 'a prison' ..And there is always fostering?
Enjoy and cherish your health and your freedom - sorry I'm clumsy n rubbish at these things but really felt for you when I read that, I know how it feels to realise your lifelong dreams were just a fantasy but write about it, keep a record of how you feel. Use your time and energy perhaps to volunteer on that day? One of the best Christmas of my life I didn't speak to a soul all day and I look back on it with great fondness and nostalgia..
Take care and have a wonderful day , be nice to yourself! Love and light to everyone who is feeling this way tonight
Op thanks for the refreshing honest thread too n hope you find some inspiration tomorrow !
I've had my fair share of miserable Xmasses, tbh I used to jsut stay up until 4-5am and sleep through most of it
No parents or kids here either. I used to work every Xmas, then had to go through the experience of being invited to neighbours for the day, where I always felt pitied. I do prefer to be on my own but am aware that it's not 'normal'. I'll see a few other dog walkers this morning though and will pop round to a neighbours so they can give my dog his present.
I think I'm going to go back to bed for most of the day.
Thank you. It's almost time to put the brave face back on to face the day. I just hate the pressure that comes with Xmas to be happy, this time last year I was planning on getting married, buying a house, thinking about starting a family of my own, then by February all that was gone and I had a few really dark months and the rest of this year has been a struggle. Thanks to some friends I have survived somehow,, but all my friends are settled with children and babies and I am the odd one out. So really feeling it this year, and although I have family I have to be the strong one as I have to also care for my mum (I work full time as well) so this is why the brave face has to come out when inside I just want to stay in bed all day and not see anyone hoping that it's over quicker.
I know from looking at this forum over the past few years that it helps because there are always people posting who feel the same, and also people posting who are trying to escape their partners / husbands / in laws!
Born lippy - thank you very much for taking the time to type your message. Very wise words and you have lifted my spirits this morning somewhat.
Best wishes!
As sad as it may sound I'm taking my joggers and trainers and if it all gets too much for me I'll go out for a run. Exercise has never been my thing but it's my saving grace now, I'm waiting for the gym to re-open and to get some normality back in my life.
Aww this will sound hard to believe - but your friends all probably envy your cool free single life, secretly. While they change their nth nappy of the day, try n stop the kids fighting over presents, as their energy is sapped through breastfeeding.. As their husbands heads turn at pretty girls in the street and they feel frumpy and insecure. I'm sorry to hear about what happened in Feb but it clearly wasn't meant to be... There is better out there for you but ENJOY the freedom while you have it. I adore being single, is the mum part that is the challenge!!
Hope you have a really fab day, is your name really Carrie? Am imagining you as some kind of nyc sex columnist now!!
Awww thanks - chin chin to that! *lifts my own glass o spirits to clink with yours* (though sadly I'm on the OJ haha) you have a lovely peaceful happy day ! Such nice weather out there!
You aren't alone!! Seriously! Don't feel guilty. It's exhausting and there is so much pressure on us.
Can't you ask your bro to take the little ones today so you can get some freedom n peace? Some headspace to relax guilt free? It sounds like you need it n certainly deserve it. The few times I've had breaks I've been a better stronger mum for it.
All the people who have given me presents, I've secretly wished they're just take the kids for an hour instead!! Now that is bad eh
If not then the jog will help you clear your head, if I went for a jog right now don't know if I'd be able to stop running though haha