In which case then don't give her the ticket and explain that it was because of her actions towards your daughter. At least she'll know there are consequences to her actions.
I wouldn't tell them at all. You'd have to be a right simpleton to think your daughter was going to get a ticket after bullying someone's child. If this story is true then it's beyond daft.
Kids arent stupid, she probably only being nice to your daughter because she still expecting to go, dont give her the chance to get one over on your daughter.
I would mention to their parents that you wont be taking their child as shes been bulling your daughter and having a child stick their fingers up to you, well thats just disrespectful and why would you want to take such a undeserving child? See what their reaction is.
It sound like this child is using your daughter so give her the upperhand and find someone else to go with!
I wouldn't tell them at all. You'd have to be a right simpleton to think your daughter was going to get a ticket after bullying someone's child. If this story is true then it's beyond daft.
Maybe the girl's mother knows nothing about it. I really doubt the girl has told her and clearly, thus far, neither has the OP.
Fair enough. Tell the mother OP. Strange girl to stick her fingers up at someone who has bought her a ticket.
Exactly - that is not normal behaviour, and the child's parents should be made aware that their child is causing problems for other people. They might not believe you, though - sometimes parents refuse to believe anything bad about their offspring.
I don't think you should give the girl the ticket. It seems as though the BBm messages in the evening are her way of trying to make sure she still goes, rather than any real friendship towards your daughter.
I agree with everyone who's said that you do need to tell her soon though. She still thinks she's going, she's counting it down on Facebook & leaving it too much longer to tell her will only make it look like you're being spiteful, when you're absolutely not!
I'm guessing your daughter & the ex friend are around 12-13 years old? At that age unfortunately they are often too full of their own sense of self importance to actually think about the consequences of their own actions. I have a niece who is now 16 who was pretty much the same way. She won't have linked the fact that she's awful to your daughter during the day, in public to the likelihood of missing out on the ticket.
Whenever you do it, you're going to be the 'bad person' in her eyes. It is good though that its coming up to the start of the holidays so that will take the pressure off the situation a bit, hopefully.
Just be very calm when you tell her, if she gets angry & verbally abusive just walk away. Also keep a close eye on your daughter afterwards & encourage her to tell you about any messages she may be getting via text, Facebook etc. Don't delete them as you may need them & definitely tell your daughter not to reply to any of them.
The idea of a 3rd ticket somewhere else in the auditorium does hold a certain appeal though...you could send her to sit over there
Remember, there is every chance that in a few years she will actually thank you for not letting her go & see One Direction
Good luck & I hope your daughters & her FRIENDS have an absolute blast!
Things have changed a bit over the last few days. The "friend" is completely back under the spell of the nasty girl who wants to control her completely and the friend is letting her. An example - yesterday my daughter was going to the loo and the friend (who is on and needed to change) said she'd go too. The nasty girl said No you will not, sit down. And the friend did as she was told and and sat in a dirty towel for two hours until she could go and change it. Consequently, the friend is now not really allowed any contact with my daughter, certainly none when the nasty girl isn't around. I expect that the friend as already been told she can't go and see 1D!
As upsetting as the whole friendship breakdown was, with these girls now talking about parties and getting drunk as they go into Year 8, I know that my daughter is best staying away from them.
Things have changed a bit over the last few days. The "friend" is completely back under the spell of the nasty girl who wants to control her completely and the friend is letting her. An example - yesterday my daughter was going to the loo and the friend (who is on and needed to change) said she'd go too. The nasty girl said No you will not, sit down. And the friend did as she was told and and sat in a dirty towel for two hours until she could go and change it. Consequently, the friend is now not really allowed any contact with my daughter, certainly none when the nasty girl isn't around. I expect that the friend as already been told she can't go and see 1D!
As upsetting as the whole friendship breakdown was, with these girls now talking about parties and getting drunk as they go into Year 8, I know that my daughter is best staying away from them.
It actually sounds as though the ex friend is being manipulated by this other girl who has a dislike for your daughter & is too scared of being bullied herself to just tell her where to go.
Sad as it may be, yes, your daughter is definitely better off if they are talking parties & alcohol already.
I think you still need to tell the ex friend that she wont be coming though, just for 100% clarification purposes as she may think that during the school holidays she can see your daughter without this other little thug being around to stop her & may actually still think the invitation is open.
Next time she BBms your daughter, reply with 'hi, this is (your daughter's name)'s mum. As you've been bullying (your daughter) for weeks now and been disrespectful to me, there is zero chance of you going to 1D. Am happy to ring your mother and explain exactly why.'
What is a BBM message? I would get your daughter to block any such messages for her anyway, it must be messing with her head getting bullied in the day then getting 'nice' messages at night.
A BBM message is a message system exclusive to Blackberry mobile phone users. It's the same as a text really.
No, the friend isn't being bullied. She is with the other girl through choice although she is being controlled by her where my daughter is concerned. They have been friends before, she knew exactly what she was getting into when she went back to her.
Comments
This definitely. Why should this nasty girl expect you to take her to a concert? I certainly wouldn't whatever she 'expected'.
I'd advise your daughter to select another friend to go in her place.
Definately this.....
Pretty much this.
I would mention to their parents that you wont be taking their child as shes been bulling your daughter and having a child stick their fingers up to you, well thats just disrespectful and why would you want to take such a undeserving child? See what their reaction is.
It sound like this child is using your daughter so give her the upperhand and find someone else to go with!
Maybe the girl's mother knows nothing about it. I really doubt the girl has told her and clearly, thus far, neither has the OP.
Exactly - that is not normal behaviour, and the child's parents should be made aware that their child is causing problems for other people. They might not believe you, though - sometimes parents refuse to believe anything bad about their offspring.
I agree with everyone who's said that you do need to tell her soon though. She still thinks she's going, she's counting it down on Facebook & leaving it too much longer to tell her will only make it look like you're being spiteful, when you're absolutely not!
I'm guessing your daughter & the ex friend are around 12-13 years old? At that age unfortunately they are often too full of their own sense of self importance to actually think about the consequences of their own actions. I have a niece who is now 16 who was pretty much the same way. She won't have linked the fact that she's awful to your daughter during the day, in public to the likelihood of missing out on the ticket.
Whenever you do it, you're going to be the 'bad person' in her eyes. It is good though that its coming up to the start of the holidays so that will take the pressure off the situation a bit, hopefully.
Just be very calm when you tell her, if she gets angry & verbally abusive just walk away. Also keep a close eye on your daughter afterwards & encourage her to tell you about any messages she may be getting via text, Facebook etc. Don't delete them as you may need them & definitely tell your daughter not to reply to any of them.
The idea of a 3rd ticket somewhere else in the auditorium does hold a certain appeal though...you could send her to sit over there
Remember, there is every chance that in a few years she will actually thank you for not letting her go & see One Direction
Good luck & I hope your daughters & her FRIENDS have an absolute blast!
As upsetting as the whole friendship breakdown was, with these girls now talking about parties and getting drunk as they go into Year 8, I know that my daughter is best staying away from them.
It actually sounds as though the ex friend is being manipulated by this other girl who has a dislike for your daughter & is too scared of being bullied herself to just tell her where to go.
Sad as it may be, yes, your daughter is definitely better off if they are talking parties & alcohol already.
I think you still need to tell the ex friend that she wont be coming though, just for 100% clarification purposes as she may think that during the school holidays she can see your daughter without this other little thug being around to stop her & may actually still think the invitation is open.
Job done.
But is it possible that the "friend" is actually being bullied by the "nasty girl" and can't find a way to stand up to her.
Just a thought ....
Maybe OP and "friend"'s mum need to have a little chat.
No, the friend isn't being bullied. She is with the other girl through choice although she is being controlled by her where my daughter is concerned. They have been friends before, she knew exactly what she was getting into when she went back to her.