Couples and joint bank accounts
technology_love
Posts: 3,177 Forum Member
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Do any married couples or partners who have been together for ever have one joint bank account and nothing else?
I know people have different ideas on this topic and I've seen some heated debates but my wife wants to ditch her account and for us to have one joint account.
I'm salaried and am the main bread winner of our family. She works part time, gets paid irregularly and looks after our two young children. Without boring the socks off you I'll just mention I stumped up the deposit on our house and have paid the mortgage from day one. She has paid nill. Its because I respect and appreciate the fact that she looks after our children and works part time that I had no problems adding her name to the mortgage papers. She does her bit, I do mine.
I've also changed my bank account to a joint one so that she can have a debit card to use when needed as gets some benefits like mobile phone insurance, break down cover, etc.
I like to be in control of my finances and given she has a bank card for the same account to use, I don't see the whole fuss about just having the one account that we pay everything in to.
Am I a terrible person for having this opinion? Is it wrong that I prefer to keep my account, let her have use of it and transfer money to her account when needed?
Would be interested to hear what other people do. It seems everyone gets married and then puts everything in one account. That's it.
I know people have different ideas on this topic and I've seen some heated debates but my wife wants to ditch her account and for us to have one joint account.
I'm salaried and am the main bread winner of our family. She works part time, gets paid irregularly and looks after our two young children. Without boring the socks off you I'll just mention I stumped up the deposit on our house and have paid the mortgage from day one. She has paid nill. Its because I respect and appreciate the fact that she looks after our children and works part time that I had no problems adding her name to the mortgage papers. She does her bit, I do mine.
I've also changed my bank account to a joint one so that she can have a debit card to use when needed as gets some benefits like mobile phone insurance, break down cover, etc.
I like to be in control of my finances and given she has a bank card for the same account to use, I don't see the whole fuss about just having the one account that we pay everything in to.
Am I a terrible person for having this opinion? Is it wrong that I prefer to keep my account, let her have use of it and transfer money to her account when needed?
Would be interested to hear what other people do. It seems everyone gets married and then puts everything in one account. That's it.
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Comments
Keep your money separate.
We keep what ever is left in our own separate accounts and spend as we see fit!
I can see its more difficult in your situation though as you don't put equal amounts into the 'pot' but she looks after your home and children so that kind of balances is it.
I'm not saying you will break up one day, but the mess it causes after is crazy.
Lol :cool:
She certainly has no plans like that I know what you mean.
I'm amazed at the ignorance of some people who go blindly in to marriage not thinking that it might not work out. I speak as someone coming from a legal family and have seen "loving couples" tear each other apart for anything they can get when divorce came.
It may sound like I have an agenda.
I don't!
Things work just fine they way we are doing it but she doesn't seem to agree.
Spot on.
I still pay for other things when she is short, its really no problem.
She is playing the "we are married, everything is one/shared" card.
Why can't she have her own bank account? Does she have no money coming in at all? I am definitely on the side that both of you should have some independence from one another.
Its just convenient when you're together with a family for both of us to have access to the funds that come in.
She wanted to have her name on the papers.
I did think about it but accepted straight away that her looking after our wonderful kids was a thankless job and she deserved to be on it.
I know the mess you mean if a break up occurred. We have a prenup-with-accruel agreement in place. The namby pambies on DS will go mental at that comment but its a 100% fair divorce package should the worse happen. Sheesh, it sounds like I'm planning something. I'm not. Just being realistic and fair should the worse happen. Long story short, if we divorce, I get my deposit back and everything else we built up together, we share. Enough digressing.
Thank you for the replies, its good to hear other peoples situations and opinions.
Well she would when she isn't out everyday working hard for that cash! (OK I know bringing up a family is 'work' too...).
Perhaps pay an allowance into a separate account for her - then see what she buys with it!...although she may feel even more kept then. How old are your kids? Will she be back at work soon?
She has an account in which her part time money is paid in. She is just pushing for one account for us only.
I'm with you on the independence.
In our case, it makes sense. Others do things differently and I respect that.
I have no fear of my wife leaving me.
I gtg to work now, will reply back later when I can.
Kids are 1 yr and 4 yrs old with the oldest being autistic.
I'll throw in to the pot that I have flexible work arrangements and care for them two mornings a week so that she can go into work. To say that I do my part and more is an understatement but that's enough for now.
Look forward to checking this thread later, apologies if I don't reply for a while!
I owe, I owe....its off to work I go.........
This, if you're living life and making decisions thinking about when you split up, then that doesn't sound healthy to me.
I'd also add (and I know this won't translate to everyone) that when you're together, with a family and everything that comes with that, you're both normally putting equally into the overall pot; even if its not physical money. So if the worst does happen, pre nup or split it down the middle; that's what me and my OH decided... If the worst should happen we split everything evenly down the middle... Now we get on with our lives and enjoy it.
We separated about six months ago and decoupling everything has been a huge unwanted pain the backside.
If there is a 'next time' for me then everything stays separate. I wouldn't be planning on anything going wrong but if it does at least that headache wouldn't be there again..
I miss my wife
Seems strange to me when we go out with friends and she pays for drinks and he pays for the meal - he puts petrol in the car when he uses it and visa versa. I just sit in the passenger seat or restaurant seat and don't ever think about paying.
When or if I am ever on my own I know where everything is - just that I can't be bothered about money when I don't have to.
It's not just breaking up that can be messy, the death of someone with property and money is also a hassle.
A joint mortgage is generally easier to sort out regardless of who 'goes first' - I think a joint mortgage in this case is very sensible. Joint bank accounts are more a case of what works for that couple. I wouldn't want a joint bank account, but that's just me.
All couples are different though and what works well for one won't for another. I sense that we are the exception to the rule being completely 'joint'.