I think if he wants to go in on his own, you should let him. Perhaps sit and have a talk about stranger danger, let him know you will be outside and if he needs you just to shout on you. I feel for you, and understand your concern, as its a situation that goes out of your control once he enters the toilet. However, its not exactly against the law to go in to the loo, so if you think he has been in too long, just go in, make your self known to anyone else in the loo, and get him.
I am sure it won't be happening too often, but when it does, just try and find the best option for you (in a restaurant or cafe or supermarket for example).
From the opposite viewpoint, what would people think if a father took his 9 year old daughter into the gents, rather than let her use the ladies alone? I would imagine there would be some raised eyebrows.
Because they're full of men with their willies hanging out.
Because they're full of men with their willies hanging out.
I just asked my husband what he did with my daughters when they were little, and out with him, and needed the toilet - he said he couldn't remember but definitely never took them in the gents. My daughters, on the other hand, now terrible teenagers, firmly recall it being a good excuse to go to McDonalds, even if they didn't need a wee.
Man, what a world we live in where a intelligent (?) woman genuinely believes that all Men's loos have a resident kiddy fiddler.
Do you really think the men's bogs in Sainbury's, Tescos or Motorway Service Stations have a weirdo hanging around all day just on the off-chance of a unaccompanied 9 year hoving into view ?
Or is this a variation on the " all homos are paedos " idea ?
It is tricky, I can see why you might be worried - especially with that recent McDonald's case as someone mentioned.
Would it be really silly to actually go into the gents with him, straight into a cubicle, and straight out again? I doubt any bloke is going to be 'offended' by that.
Man, what a world we live in where a intelligent (?) woman genuinely believes that all Men's loos have a resident kiddy fiddler.
Do you really think the men's bogs in Sainbury's, Tescos or Motorway Service Stations have a weirdo hanging around all day just on the off-chance of a unaccompanied 9 year hoving into view ?
You wanna tell that to the parents of the two boys assaulted in a McDonalds? It's stupid comment. These pedos do in fact think about where and when they can get at kids and a toilet is actually logical place precisely for the reason the OP started this thread - sometimes kids go in there without their parents.
This stuff happens, I'm afraid. Any fear in 'unfounded' until it happens to you.
If he's happy to go in on his own, at the age of 9 I'd let him. If it makes you feel better, why not stand at the entrance and say in a loud voice 'I'll wait out here for you' just as he is going in. Anyone inside who hears that is hardly going to try anything.
You wanna tell that to the parents of the two boys assaulted in a McDonalds? It's stupid comment. These pedos do in fact think about where and when they can get at kids and a toilet is actually logical place precisely for the reason the OP started this thread - sometimes kids go in there without their parents.
This stuff happens, I'm afraid. Any fear in 'unfounded' until it happens to you.
bad things happen, murders, rapes, muggings, does that mean we should all wrap ourselves in cotton wool and never leave the house?! Of course not, how ridiculous!
Yes the mcdonalds incident was horrible and unfortunate, but how old is old enough to be left alone in a public loo? If the parent is waiting outside and a 9 year old is told not to talk to strangers and come straight back out, what is the issue? Some responses on here are totally baffling.
Man, what a world we live in where a intelligent (?) woman genuinely believes that all Men's loos have a resident kiddy fiddler.
Do you really think the men's bogs in Sainbury's, Tescos or Motorway Service Stations have a weirdo hanging around all day just on the off-chance of a unaccompanied 9 year hoving into view ?
Or is this a variation on the " all homos are paedos " idea ?
It's not only *some* women who think this way but many men certainly do. Generally red top rag mag readers so you can't expect much else really.
9? So he's what.. a year or two away from secondary school?
Good God.. of course he should be going into the gents, and by himself.
I would have thought most women may actually be a little startled and uncomfortable if a 9 year old boy enters the female toilets. I know I'd be sure as hell pissed if a bloke brought his 9 year old daughter into the gents. Fathers do sometimes do this with younger daughters and I still think it's totally inappropriate.. we have gender separated toilets for a damn good reason.
You can order a RADAR Key to enter disabled toilets for about £4. It's non-means tested; your supposed to use common sense. If the dyspraxia is problematic enough you could consider it, but it would be unethical to buy a RADAR key and use disabled toilets if you don't think he needed it.
From the opposite viewpoint, what would people think if a father took his 9 year old daughter into the gents, rather than let her use the ladies alone?
I wouldn't see why that's any more noteworthy than a parent taking their child into a communal changing room at a swimming pool, say. Though I think my gym imposes an age limit of 8 years for the "wrong" sex of child.
Yes he should go on his own really now. I don't actually think a boy going in the ladies seems as bad to some people as a girl going in the mens. When I took my daughter in when she was younger, say aged 3 to 6. I kept getting told off by men that she should be in the ladies. :rolleyes: She was a bit young still I thought.
bad things happen, murders, rapes, muggings, does that mean we should all wrap ourselves in cotton wool and never leave the house?! Of course not, how ridiculous!
Yes the mcdonalds incident was horrible and unfortunate, but how old is old enough to be left alone in a public loo? If the parent is waiting outside and a 9 year old is told not to talk to strangers and come straight back out, what is the issue? Some responses on here are totally baffling.
^This.
Although the McDonalds incident was of course horrible, it could have happened anywhere. He could get ran over whilst playing out on the street but that is no reason to keep him locked up in doors and never let him leave the house. My point is you can't keep holding your kids back from doing things just because of what might happen otherwise they would never be able to go anywhere or do anything. There are risks everywhere you go in life.
At 9, I think he is old enough to go by himself. He's going to have to go in by himself sooner or later.
I wouldn't see why that's any more noteworthy than a parent taking their child into a communal changing room at a swimming pool, say. Though I think my gym imposes an age limit of 8 years for the "wrong" sex of child.
I think 9 is too old to be going into the ladies toilets. He obviously wants to go on his own so him being dyspraxic seems to be more of an issue for you than it is for him. You need to just let him, so what if he struggles with his zip???
I know I wouldn't have wanted to go into the mens loos with my dad when I was 9. :eek:
My five year old goes into the gents loo by himself .... as did all my boys at that age. I just stand outside and if he isn't out in a minute, I'll open the door and shout his name to check he's okay. I've never had a problem. As for your sons button or zip, can't you just help him with it afterwards?
To be honest, I'd be more worried about a 9 year old boy in the ladies loo with me!
I was taken into the mens loos once - it was in a cafe and I was about 3, if that, coz I barely remember it, and I was still in the accident stage so my dad brought my in, after that if I was with him he would either stand outside or ask another woman who was going in at the same time to check I was okay.
This stuff happens, I'm afraid. Any fear in 'unfounded' until it happens to you.
Well you could use the same argument and say no child should ever go to nursery as several cases of child abuse have occurred at nurseries and the staff at them simply can't be trusted.
Of course, that would be ridiculous.. I hope you agree.
End of the day bad things happen. You could spend your entire life never leaving the house for fear of what might happen to you and then fall down the stairs and break your neck.
The chances of a child being assaulted in a public toilet I imagine are very very very small indeed. I know you have your one example, but if we all used one example of something bad happening, no child would ever go to nursery and no child would ever be allowed off a child lead in a shopping centre.
How is accompanying a child into a public toilet on the same scale as stopping them going to a nursery??
I would personally not put a young child in a nursery with male staff or that had hidden areas where abuse could *theoretically* take place. Would you? This is not paranoia but common sense safety.
Just as most females don't jump into unlicensed cabs at night or walk through dark parks, or how we lock our doors, or put valuables our of sight in the car.
Yes the odds of bad things happening are small but we all still take precautions to prevent them.
How is accompanying a child into a public toilet on the same scale as stopping them going to a nursery??
I would personally not put a young child in a nursery with male staff or that had hidden areas where abuse could *theoretically* take place. Would you? This is not paranoia but common sense safety.
Just as most females don't jump into unlicensed cabs at night or walk through dark parks, or how we lock our doors, or put valuables our of sight in the car.
Yes the odds of bad things happening are small but we all still take precautions to prevent them.
Why the issue with male staff? It was a female member of staff who abused the children in a recent nursery incident.
Females are advised not to jump into unlicensed cabs etc because bad things happen to women who do this on a much more frequent basis than children being abused in public toilets. The risk is higher, so the precautions are understandable. That isn't to say every unlicensed cab contains a rapist. But the risk is higher than some pedo hanging around a public toilet all day.
I don't want to trash this advice thread so I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
If he has a disability then you are justified in taking him in to the ladies, but if he wants to go by himself then you'll have to just wait outside for him and check that he's all done up..
If he has a disability you can get the keys to the disabled toilets. That way he learns to go by himself and you don't have to worry.
I used to stand outside the gents when my lad was younger and listen likea hawk, I must have looked a bit pervy.:D
Thank you all for your comments. I guess I have been over protective. But thanks for answering sometimes it's difficult to know who to ask these things of!
Thank you all for your comments. I guess I have been over protective. But thanks for answering sometimes it's difficult to know who to ask these things of!
Don't worry about it as its one of those stages that its sometimes tricky to get past but once you do its fine. And your son will feel like he is growing up which will be very important to him.
Comments
I am sure it won't be happening too often, but when it does, just try and find the best option for you (in a restaurant or cafe or supermarket for example).
Because they're full of men with their willies hanging out.
Do you really think the men's bogs in Sainbury's, Tescos or Motorway Service Stations have a weirdo hanging around all day just on the off-chance of a unaccompanied 9 year hoving into view ?
Or is this a variation on the " all homos are paedos " idea ?
Would it be really silly to actually go into the gents with him, straight into a cubicle, and straight out again? I doubt any bloke is going to be 'offended' by that.
You wanna tell that to the parents of the two boys assaulted in a McDonalds? It's stupid comment. These pedos do in fact think about where and when they can get at kids and a toilet is actually logical place precisely for the reason the OP started this thread - sometimes kids go in there without their parents.
This stuff happens, I'm afraid. Any fear in 'unfounded' until it happens to you.
Good advice.....a happy medium!
I've even let him go into a toilet my himself on occasion just so he can get to grips with it early.
Yes the mcdonalds incident was horrible and unfortunate, but how old is old enough to be left alone in a public loo? If the parent is waiting outside and a 9 year old is told not to talk to strangers and come straight back out, what is the issue? Some responses on here are totally baffling.
Good God.. of course he should be going into the gents, and by himself.
I would have thought most women may actually be a little startled and uncomfortable if a 9 year old boy enters the female toilets. I know I'd be sure as hell pissed if a bloke brought his 9 year old daughter into the gents. Fathers do sometimes do this with younger daughters and I still think it's totally inappropriate.. we have gender separated toilets for a damn good reason.
You can order a RADAR Key to enter disabled toilets for about £4. It's non-means tested; your supposed to use common sense. If the dyspraxia is problematic enough you could consider it, but it would be unethical to buy a RADAR key and use disabled toilets if you don't think he needed it.
I wouldn't see why that's any more noteworthy than a parent taking their child into a communal changing room at a swimming pool, say. Though I think my gym imposes an age limit of 8 years for the "wrong" sex of child.
^This.
Although the McDonalds incident was of course horrible, it could have happened anywhere. He could get ran over whilst playing out on the street but that is no reason to keep him locked up in doors and never let him leave the house. My point is you can't keep holding your kids back from doing things just because of what might happen otherwise they would never be able to go anywhere or do anything. There are risks everywhere you go in life.
At 9, I think he is old enough to go by himself. He's going to have to go in by himself sooner or later.
It's 9 at our local swimming pool.
I know I wouldn't have wanted to go into the mens loos with my dad when I was 9. :eek:
To be honest, I'd be more worried about a 9 year old boy in the ladies loo with me!
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=672430
Well you could use the same argument and say no child should ever go to nursery as several cases of child abuse have occurred at nurseries and the staff at them simply can't be trusted.
Of course, that would be ridiculous.. I hope you agree.
End of the day bad things happen. You could spend your entire life never leaving the house for fear of what might happen to you and then fall down the stairs and break your neck.
The chances of a child being assaulted in a public toilet I imagine are very very very small indeed. I know you have your one example, but if we all used one example of something bad happening, no child would ever go to nursery and no child would ever be allowed off a child lead in a shopping centre.
I would personally not put a young child in a nursery with male staff or that had hidden areas where abuse could *theoretically* take place. Would you? This is not paranoia but common sense safety.
Just as most females don't jump into unlicensed cabs at night or walk through dark parks, or how we lock our doors, or put valuables our of sight in the car.
Yes the odds of bad things happening are small but we all still take precautions to prevent them.
Why the issue with male staff? It was a female member of staff who abused the children in a recent nursery incident.
Females are advised not to jump into unlicensed cabs etc because bad things happen to women who do this on a much more frequent basis than children being abused in public toilets. The risk is higher, so the precautions are understandable. That isn't to say every unlicensed cab contains a rapist. But the risk is higher than some pedo hanging around a public toilet all day.
I don't want to trash this advice thread so I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.
If he has a disability you can get the keys to the disabled toilets. That way he learns to go by himself and you don't have to worry.
I used to stand outside the gents when my lad was younger and listen likea hawk, I must have looked a bit pervy.:D
Don't worry about it as its one of those stages that its sometimes tricky to get past but once you do its fine. And your son will feel like he is growing up which will be very important to him.