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feeling left out at work
big brother 9
Posts: 18,153 Forum Member
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I've just found out that my colleagues have done a secret santa without involving me, they are all in today dressed up in Christmassy outfits and have brought in a Fuddle.
I'm pretty annoyed that I'm not involved but to top things off they are all meeting tonight for drinks and a meal.
I feel it's because I've been looking for another job and the latest manager isn't my biggest fan.
And earlier this year there was an issue with another member of staff who lied and was eventually dismissed.
Maybe I'm being paranoid I don't know but I just feel so left out.
I've been doing my bits with the patients (kitchen assessments etc) and haven't really been spoken to by any of the staff that have come in on their day off.
Just peed off right now and needed to rant.
Can't wait to get out of here.
I'm pretty annoyed that I'm not involved but to top things off they are all meeting tonight for drinks and a meal.
I feel it's because I've been looking for another job and the latest manager isn't my biggest fan.
And earlier this year there was an issue with another member of staff who lied and was eventually dismissed.
Maybe I'm being paranoid I don't know but I just feel so left out.
I've been doing my bits with the patients (kitchen assessments etc) and haven't really been spoken to by any of the staff that have come in on their day off.
Just peed off right now and needed to rant.
Can't wait to get out of here.
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Damn, beaten to it 😁
Or.... "bless"
I've also been included in what is obviously the second half of a discussion about a night out that I wasn't invited on. I called her out on it once and she said "oh I thought I'd asked you, I sent a group text but my phones been really funny". Yeah right! On the other hand, my workmates are ace! If I see these 'friends' I'm polite but distant. As another poster said, it's only work, ignore them and hopefully you'll move on soon! I have been in awful workplaces as well so I know how that feels. Chin up and onwards and upwards!
Its poor behaviour on their part, not particularly adult, more playground stuff.
BiB is your 100% answer. You work with a bunch of brown nosers who don't want to be seen associating with the guy the boss has a downer on.
Anyway, you should be grateful for small mercies. I keep hoping I won't be invited to Christmassy things, but there appears no way out for me, other than taking annual leave, which I am doing until 29th. I even had to organise the team Christmas meal.
Why don't you just ask straight out to the entire section or team, "why haven't you asked me to join in with the fun ?" - not hurt, just coldly matter of fact. See what response you get. Probably stunned silence initially - but someone will say something. It will be interesting to see what excuses they come out with - at which point you can say in a jokey way "Oh you should have asked me, I love Christmassy stuff".
Go on, find the bottle - feel the pain and do it anyway. Embarrass the bastards. You know you want to :kitty:
Yes, us too - our HR intranet guidance on bullying includes "freezing out"
This is why I go and cry in the toilets every time I see that the feckers I work with have been down the butty van and not brought me anything back.
I really hope you find a new job soon OP!
Oh, that's just asking for a taunt about "heart attack sandwiches", while you eat something healthy ;-):D
* limit of one small soft drink per person, restrictions apply.
I would be upset to not be included but it could just be a misunderstanding, I think you will have to say something about it, I would say 'have fun tonight, I love a good night out so you'll have to let me know next time!'
Urban Dictionary: fuddle
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuddle
fuddle. Any sexual position that involves cuddling and penetration at the same time. (ie, the spoon). That fuddle was great, now we can just go straight to sleep.
or
fuddle
verb
1.
confuse or stupefy (someone), especially with alcohol.
noun
noun: fuddle
1.
a state of confusion or intoxication.
"through the fuddle of wine he heard some of the conversation"
I would't wish such a tragic bottom of the barrel existence on anyone tbh. Forums are fine for casual interactions and as occasional passtimes, but if it ever gets to the point that someone is considering replacing real life socialising with a forum then that's the time to take a really long hard look at your life. imo.
They organise their little collections whenever it is someones birthday, or someones aunt has died, or someone has been promoted or is leaving.
If you happen to look at their photos on Facebook, you will see it is the same people getting invited to all the management birthday nights out, halloween parties, etc.
Then there is the likes of you and me. We are not in the popular crowd. We don't get invited to anything. There are no collections for our birthday, and when we leave we quietly slip out the door and nobody notices.
It is the way of the world, my friend and you need to come to terms with your role in it.
I can honestly say that I've made more friends on forums than in person. I spent a wonderful week in Chicago with one person - I stayed at their home and I had never met them before, also several visits to Ukraine to see others. Depends how you use them I suppose.
How popular was the other person? And there are 2 sides to every story, you say he/she lied, they may have said you did
You were obviously believed, but did everyone see it that way?
Btw, I can't think of anything worse than wearing 'chrismassy clothes' and having a 'fuddle' - it sounds like a scene form The Office
A bit like frickin school. Is there no escape?