Taking an instant dislike to someone?
Vodka_Drinka
Posts: 28,753 Forum Member
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Why does this happen? I always try and take people at face value and hold off taking a dislike to them unless they do something to annoy/upset me. However occasionally I will meet a person who I just dislike from the off, they could be perfectly nice and friendly but there will just be something about them that gets my hackles up and make me want to keep them at arms length. Often these will be people who seem to be popular and well liked by everyone else.
Is this some kind of gut instinct that's trying to protect us from harm? With me it happens so infrequently that I always take note of what my instincts are telling me. Are we subconsciously picking up bad vibes from them? Is it down to body language?
Why do we do this?
Is this some kind of gut instinct that's trying to protect us from harm? With me it happens so infrequently that I always take note of what my instincts are telling me. Are we subconsciously picking up bad vibes from them? Is it down to body language?
Why do we do this?
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Once I heard about this, I took an instant dislike to her and over the years I was at that firm, that dislike was justified many times over. She was everything I despise about a person from top to bottom. I was almost relieved when I was made redundant !
I have ignored it a couple of times, and convinced myself I was being silly and regreted not listening to my instincts massively.
Must be something left over from primevial[spl?] instinct, like sensing danger, or spiders.
It's a getting old thing, for me anyway.
That's very interesting, because disliking someone for no reason is irrational and some might say unkind. However as you've just said your instincts were eventually proved correct.
Now I trust his instincts about people. But not my own.
I've judged people shortly after meeting them and felt quite guilty for it as I honestly don't like stereotypes and generalising people but it does seem to be something that happens naturally, without us necessarily realising, until you catch yourself questioning something and have to wonder 'why are you thinking that?'.
OP it's not unusual. I think plenty of people have been in the same situation.
I know I have.
That was my thought as well.
One that sticks in my mind is wife of my Dad's boss's son. Everyone thought she was the bees knees but I just had a bad vibe (or something) from her.
I was right - she turned out to be a right one.
I do try to see people as good (until proved otherwise) but sometimes the gut instinct is in overdrive.
I have ignored a bad vibe before despite my gut instinct screaming at me otherwise. This has always been to my detriment. Another earlier poster says that having this gut instinct saves time, and that is spot on.
I'm sorry but what language are you speaking, it appears to be bollocks, gut instinct is imo not something to go on in some cases it might be right but that would probably be coincidental
I just smiled and played pleasant.
Deleted. Was unnecessary.
How rude, especially given that you've posted your opinion on the matter without any evidence whereas the poster you've criticised has actually made reference to studies done into the area of discussion. I think instincts should be listened to more, they are there for a reason. Of course, most people are sensible enough to temper their instinct to see if it is proven correct, but it is worth listening to the instinctive reaction and being slightly cautious of people if you feel you have reason.
I have occasionally found myself taking an instant dislike to people and I'm not always able to put my finger on it. There's a bloke at work like that at the moment, I can't describe what it is about him that I don't like, but I just don't like him. I don't have enough to do with him to find out if my feeling is justified or not but when I have had dealings with him I find him a bit dense at what he's doing.