Congrats Jane! That's amazing! So where are you based now? I'm really pleased you are both so happy. It's a lovely story :-)
I'm glad you agree with me then, I would far rather get to know someone a little bit before dirty talking, ESPECIALLY with my experience of meeting people and then them not being what I thought. The idea of being intimate with someone over messages when they are likely to not be what I want, creeps me out.
Well I had a date a few weeks ago with a guy I met off POF.
His profile was more jokey than informative but none the less it made me laugh so I gave him a chance. However I wished I'd done more vetting before meeting up as it wa a complete waste of time.
His profile said London but he was in fact only down in London for a few weeks and actually lives in Norwich, pretty pointless as I wasn't looking for long distance.
I should have also realised that "retired" was another euphemism for "unemployed layabout".
When he said he was "liberal" it really meant "I'm an unwashed, left wing, radical hippy"
Suffice to say when he asked if I would go on another date with him I quite eagerly said NO..... cue aukwardness till we parted!
We're both based in London now I've always wanted to live here and his job etc was here so it just made sense! I still can't quite believe it!
Definitely agree with you. Its just a bit...weird when you don't actually know the person! Sure when you've had a few dates you can throw things like that in, but I don't see much point before then.
I've been on a couple of the free dating websites but don't seem to have much luck. I think my standards are far too high. I was talking to a guy but he never replied to my last message and I don't want to look desperate messaging again! It's nice to read about the success stories though
Hiya, god knows how your all getting on as I cant be bothered to read like 3 months or more of posts lol but things are going well for me at the moment. I met a girl at a festival I was DJing at we have been seeing each other for just over a month now and I'm really happy. She lives about 45 mins away on the train and we see each other most weekends, we take it in turns to come up. She is ten years older than me and yeah I have a smile on my face I also start a new job in a few weeks so life is finally picking up for me.
It's been a while since I posted here so I thought I'd post an update (not that I have any news).
Anyway, since I joined match, I've noticed a massive decrease in the amount of views my profile gets. Before I joined, I was getting 30 or so per week, now I've paid a subscription, I'm lucky if I get one per day. Seems like a bit of a con to me now. I inadvertently added the connect option to my account where members can message me for free, but still no messages. Just wondered if anyone else had noticed anything like this?
It's been a while since I posted here so I thought I'd post an update (not that I have any news).
Anyway, since I joined match, I've noticed a massive decrease in the amount of views my profile gets. Before I joined, I was getting 30 or so per week, now I've paid a subscription, I'm lucky if I get one per day. Seems like a bit of a con to me now. I inadvertently added the connect option to my account where members can message me for free, but still no messages. Just wondered if anyone else had noticed anything like this?
Yes, seen this, it's massively cynical.
Have a subscription - get a reasonable amount of views, but not all that many
Subscription runs out - views go through the roof, you suddenly get extra winks and favourited more
Renew the subscription again - views drop back down considerably and the winks/favouriting dry up again
I'm not entirely surprised they do it, but it is pretty blatant.
They have added a new "Boost" option where for a couple of quid extra they will temporarily increase the number of views you will get. So presumably the same thing that manipulates the search/view algorithms and recommended profiles for that feature is also used to arse about with your profile when you aren't paying.
I was seeing a girl who I hadn't met online for a couple of months - told me she loved me and it was all going fantastically well - then out of nowhere dumped by text. I did everything for her, went the extra mile whenever I could and it still wasn't good enough.
I might get back into the online dating game later in summer but right now I'm still pissed off
Hi folks - its ages since I last posted in here. I think I was one of the originals (where are the rest Grotbags, Shappy et all) and my 'dates' staggered from disaster to disaster
But.............having been on Match/POF/free trial e-harmony on and off for 6 years.....yes 6 years....I have finally met someone off Match and he's rather nice We've been dating 2 months now and I'm very happy with him.
So I suppose what I'm saying is hang in there. It can happen, it may take a while...hopefully not as long as me....and you'll meet some people you never want to see again........but its worth persevering
On POF there's a girl who's made loads of accounts and then deleted them all the time. During each period she's been on POF she's clicked meet me on the 'meet me' page. I messaged her once and she blocked me straight away.
The same girl has now made a new profile and has clicked 'Meet Me' again tonight! What's her problem? She obviously doesn't see me as dating material so what's going on?
I hope you don't mind me butting in here. I have dipped in and out of this thread for a while but never really had much to add as even though I signed up to a few of the free dating websites I wasn't having any luck at all - probably due to me being way too fussy! The few guys I did like the look of, the conversations were so forced and awkward I gave up!
Anyway a friend suggested downloading the tinder app which I have had about 6 months and again I wasn't really clicking with any of the guys I briefly spoke to but a few weeks ago I got chatting to a guy who I didn't overly fancy but was okay looking and I 'liked' him on an interest we had in common - an interest which is quite unique. We chatted on the app for a while and then exchanged phone numbers and have been texting every day and pretty sure we will meet up soon.
Have a few worries though - tinder has a reputation for being a 'hook up' app and this is not what I am after. Should I ask this guy outright what is he looking for or will this freak him out? I don't get any vibes from him he's looking to hook up but you can never be too sure.
Also the thing is I really like him from chatting via messages/texting and feel a type of connection but I know this may not translate in person. I'm a pretty shy person with people I don't know very well so I am scared I will not come across like the way I have done so far to him. Also I am dreading any awkwardness! Any tips to get over my shyness? What's a good 'first date' to avoid any awkward silences?! Say rather than having a meal where you are one on one and the focus is all on you, you could do an activity where there's something else to focus on - like ice skating or something! I'm silly for worrying but I do. I am fine with friends or if I am drunk but I don't think being drunk with an almost stranger is a good idea!
Any helpful tips on meeting someone off a dating site will be appreciated as this will be my first time! Bit scary! Let's hope he's not a weirdo!
Jason that is pretty strange, I get the impression she doesn't quite know what she wants.
Eppie my boyfs brother met his OH on Tinder, so don't let that be a reason to stop you! Meet the guy and see what happens Definitely don't get drunk though, I think thats always a bad move on a first date! One of the best first dates I ever went on was the sea life centre, meant we had conversation starters handy!
Jason that is pretty strange, I get the impression she doesn't quite know what she wants.
Eppie my boyfs brother met his OH on Tinder, so don't let that be a reason to stop you! Meet the guy and see what happens Definitely don't get drunk though, I think thats always a bad move on a first date! One of the best first dates I ever went on was the sea life centre, meant we had conversation starters handy!
Not sure if this thread still gets read but just a quick update.. the guy i met was all going well for a few months and then it was pretty clear he was just after sex. he strung me along for a few weeks and then dropped me and from his facebook he's clearly sleeping with someone else (and before he'd ended it with me - nice!) So my confidence is well and truly knocked and am put off online dating for good now!
Not sure if this thread still gets read but just a quick update.. the guy i met was all going well for a few months and then it was pretty clear he was just after sex. he strung me along for a few weeks and then dropped me and from his facebook he's clearly sleeping with someone else (and before he'd ended it with me - nice!) So my confidence is well and truly knocked and am put off online dating for good now!
See it's stories like this that have put me off going down that route. Okay, it has obviously turned out really well for some people, but it seems online dating sites could lead to hurt and stress that I don't need. I'm not the most confident of people so I could get burned by the system...
Not sure if this thread still gets read but just a quick update.. the guy i met was all going well for a few months and then it was pretty clear he was just after sex. he strung me along for a few weeks and then dropped me and from his facebook he's clearly sleeping with someone else (and before he'd ended it with me - nice!) So my confidence is well and truly knocked and am put off online dating for good now!
Ive had a couple of relationships from online dating, and Im coming to realise its just shallowness (even from myself) and the ease of meeting new people makes people more willing to dump at the slightest sign of it not being 'perfect'.
Think I may join you in sacking off online dating!
It is really tough. I found that life was becoming too focussed on meeting someone and less about actually enjoying it. I was going on the dates and though I was on good form I felt I was struggling to find myself more and more. I joked that if people asked me what I enjoyed doing that my answer would be 'oh, I like going on dates that don't lead anywhere'.. Also, by focussing on meeting osmeone that both liked me, and I them - and not being successful at this meant that I was feeling very negative about life. I very nearly went to see my Dr to discuss depression as I was so down about it. I didn't go into the dates with any huge expectations but I just think the last couple of years of all this just got on top of me. The last date I went on was a success from my point of view, we had loads in common and I would have liked to have met him again but I heard nothing from him, I had said that I'd like to get to know him better but nothing, so that was the end of that.
So, I deactivated 2 of my three accounts, the other one is free and still just sitting there - but without the 'safety net' of online dating I have been doing far more. I joined a choir, a book club, have been making more effort to speak to people when I am out and I have been approached a lot more since. I've been on a few dates with a slightly older man who seems to be enjoying spoiling me - I am not sure if it's going to go anywhere but it already feels more solid than the 'who's next' attitude of most internet daters. It takes time to get to know someone, sometimes there is an immediate spark, sometimes you have to dig a bit deeper and see people in different situations. Internet dating doesnt seem to offer that and I think i'd rather go on meet up groups where there is a bit more chance of that kind of scenario, less pressure and you're doing something enjoyable at the same time.
I was on eharmony on and off for years, before I met my boyfriend on there earlier this year. We've been together 6 months now, I've moved in with him and we're going on holiday next year. My subscription was about to expire and I was planning on having a break from internet dating when I met him, so it can work.
It didnt work out with the woman I seeing earlier this year so it ended, I've signed up to Smooch and quit FreeDating as I just wasnt clicking with any women. I might try Tinder but I dont want a f**k buddy I want a proper relationship so it might not work for me. Hey ho who knows.
I was one of the early posters on here and lurched from disastrous date to another disastrous date. Gave up hope and honestly thought, after 7 years single, I would be alone forever.
But then...
Met this lovely Irish man on PoF and have been together 5 months now. He is absolutely perfect for me, I have never been so happy and am still pinching myself.
It CAN happen. Do not give up!
Remember the girl I was seeing in the summer? well she messages me out of the blue last night when I was out calling me lazy, asking why I havent got a job and how she is earning more money than I ever could dream of. She also banged on and on about some politics stuff I couldn't give a shit about! I glazed over at UKIP and Britain First *yawns* I think it was a drunken message but I have been getting a lot of snidey remarks from her, she took me off her profile because she saw me put up a halloween video of me in a hoodie shouting boo I haven't a clue whats crawled up the girls arse and died but god damn!! wtf?? anyway I replied saying well I cant be that lazy if I have a job and that she isnt all that because the work she does is her own business and she doesn't declare the money she earns. I advised her that if she bothers me any more I'd dump her in the shit. Ive now been blocked on everything peace at last!!
Anyway... last night I met someone she's 7 years younger than me but doesnt matter as she seemed real nice. We got chatting as my friend knows her mum and dad, we exchanged numbers and may meet up. Only thing is she didnt reply to the message I sent this afternoon saying "hey nice to meet you last night hope your cool catch you later" I dont know if thats just a woman thing where they dont reply for a bit or what but I wont lose any sleep over it, was nice to meet someone and for once I got off my arse and chatted her up. She is however with someone BUT is leaving him in new year (wants to spend xmas there with her kids before she leaves him) so this could be a dud and a no go as it usually is with the women I meet but if anything it gave me a confidence boost and two fingers to the loud mouth from the summer.
Sorry to drag this thread up again but I've got into the whole online dating thing again and is it just me or the whole thing just too much hassle and not worth the effort? It's so frustrating and disheartening.
Recently been texting a guy from okcupid and seemed to be getting on etc and he suddenly stops texting for no apparent reason. Then was having a conversation with someone on pof, had lots in common etc and again suddenly last message ignored. Should I send them another message or will that look too keen/stalkery/desperate? Is it best to just accept the rejection and move on! It's rare I connect with guys on there so when I do and it goes wrong it really annoys me I have wasted time!
Comments
I'm glad you agree with me then, I would far rather get to know someone a little bit before dirty talking, ESPECIALLY with my experience of meeting people and then them not being what I thought. The idea of being intimate with someone over messages when they are likely to not be what I want, creeps me out.
His profile was more jokey than informative but none the less it made me laugh so I gave him a chance. However I wished I'd done more vetting before meeting up as it wa a complete waste of time.
His profile said London but he was in fact only down in London for a few weeks and actually lives in Norwich, pretty pointless as I wasn't looking for long distance.
I should have also realised that "retired" was another euphemism for "unemployed layabout".
When he said he was "liberal" it really meant "I'm an unwashed, left wing, radical hippy"
Suffice to say when he asked if I would go on another date with him I quite eagerly said NO..... cue aukwardness till we parted!
Definitely agree with you. Its just a bit...weird when you don't actually know the person! Sure when you've had a few dates you can throw things like that in, but I don't see much point before then.
How are we all doing?
It's been a while since I posted here so I thought I'd post an update (not that I have any news).
Anyway, since I joined match, I've noticed a massive decrease in the amount of views my profile gets. Before I joined, I was getting 30 or so per week, now I've paid a subscription, I'm lucky if I get one per day. Seems like a bit of a con to me now. I inadvertently added the connect option to my account where members can message me for free, but still no messages. Just wondered if anyone else had noticed anything like this?
Yes, seen this, it's massively cynical.
Have a subscription - get a reasonable amount of views, but not all that many
Subscription runs out - views go through the roof, you suddenly get extra winks and favourited more
Renew the subscription again - views drop back down considerably and the winks/favouriting dry up again
I'm not entirely surprised they do it, but it is pretty blatant.
They have added a new "Boost" option where for a couple of quid extra they will temporarily increase the number of views you will get. So presumably the same thing that manipulates the search/view algorithms and recommended profiles for that feature is also used to arse about with your profile when you aren't paying.
I might get back into the online dating game later in summer but right now I'm still pissed off
But.............having been on Match/POF/free trial e-harmony on and off for 6 years.....yes 6 years....I have finally met someone off Match and he's rather nice
So I suppose what I'm saying is hang in there. It can happen, it may take a while...hopefully not as long as me....and you'll meet some people you never want to see again........but its worth persevering
On POF there's a girl who's made loads of accounts and then deleted them all the time. During each period she's been on POF she's clicked meet me on the 'meet me' page. I messaged her once and she blocked me straight away.
The same girl has now made a new profile and has clicked 'Meet Me' again tonight! What's her problem? She obviously doesn't see me as dating material so what's going on?
Anyway a friend suggested downloading the tinder app which I have had about 6 months and again I wasn't really clicking with any of the guys I briefly spoke to but a few weeks ago I got chatting to a guy who I didn't overly fancy but was okay looking and I 'liked' him on an interest we had in common - an interest which is quite unique. We chatted on the app for a while and then exchanged phone numbers and have been texting every day and pretty sure we will meet up soon.
Have a few worries though - tinder has a reputation for being a 'hook up' app and this is not what I am after. Should I ask this guy outright what is he looking for or will this freak him out? I don't get any vibes from him he's looking to hook up but you can never be too sure.
Also the thing is I really like him from chatting via messages/texting and feel a type of connection but I know this may not translate in person. I'm a pretty shy person with people I don't know very well so I am scared I will not come across like the way I have done so far to him. Also I am dreading any awkwardness! Any tips to get over my shyness? What's a good 'first date' to avoid any awkward silences?! Say rather than having a meal where you are one on one and the focus is all on you, you could do an activity where there's something else to focus on - like ice skating or something! I'm silly for worrying but I do. I am fine with friends or if I am drunk but I don't think being drunk with an almost stranger is a good idea!
Any helpful tips on meeting someone off a dating site will be appreciated as this will be my first time! Bit scary! Let's hope he's not a weirdo!
Eppie my boyfs brother met his OH on Tinder, so don't let that be a reason to stop you! Meet the guy and see what happens
What's the next step to meeting someone after online dating fails?
I'm not much of a club person.
I was brave and met him! So far so good!!
Not sure if this thread still gets read but just a quick update.. the guy i met was all going well for a few months and then it was pretty clear he was just after sex. he strung me along for a few weeks and then dropped me and from his facebook he's clearly sleeping with someone else (and before he'd ended it with me - nice!) So my confidence is well and truly knocked and am put off online dating for good now!
See it's stories like this that have put me off going down that route. Okay, it has obviously turned out really well for some people, but it seems online dating sites could lead to hurt and stress that I don't need. I'm not the most confident of people so I could get burned by the system...
Ive had a couple of relationships from online dating, and Im coming to realise its just shallowness (even from myself) and the ease of meeting new people makes people more willing to dump at the slightest sign of it not being 'perfect'.
Think I may join you in sacking off online dating!
So, I deactivated 2 of my three accounts, the other one is free and still just sitting there - but without the 'safety net' of online dating I have been doing far more. I joined a choir, a book club, have been making more effort to speak to people when I am out and I have been approached a lot more since. I've been on a few dates with a slightly older man who seems to be enjoying spoiling me - I am not sure if it's going to go anywhere but it already feels more solid than the 'who's next' attitude of most internet daters. It takes time to get to know someone, sometimes there is an immediate spark, sometimes you have to dig a bit deeper and see people in different situations. Internet dating doesnt seem to offer that and I think i'd rather go on meet up groups where there is a bit more chance of that kind of scenario, less pressure and you're doing something enjoyable at the same time.
But then...
Met this lovely Irish man on PoF and have been together 5 months now. He is absolutely perfect for me, I have never been so happy and am still pinching myself.
It CAN happen. Do not give up!
Remember the girl I was seeing in the summer? well she messages me out of the blue last night when I was out calling me lazy, asking why I havent got a job and how she is earning more money than I ever could dream of. She also banged on and on about some politics stuff I couldn't give a shit about! I glazed over at UKIP and Britain First *yawns* I think it was a drunken message but I have been getting a lot of snidey remarks from her, she took me off her profile because she saw me put up a halloween video of me in a hoodie shouting boo
Anyway... last night I met someone
Recently been texting a guy from okcupid and seemed to be getting on etc and he suddenly stops texting for no apparent reason. Then was having a conversation with someone on pof, had lots in common etc and again suddenly last message ignored. Should I send them another message or will that look too keen/stalkery/desperate? Is it best to just accept the rejection and move on! It's rare I connect with guys on there so when I do and it goes wrong it really annoys me I have wasted time!