This woman needs to be honest with her bloke but not because she's done anything wrong.
OK - she should have told him she was 33, instead of 29 but he's 24 - it's not like he's 18 or even 50.
This woman was just insecure about her age - I don't think she intended to lie to him.
It's not a criminal offence to tell someone you're younger than you actually are - a bloke mistook me for 18 when I was 26 (I'm a bloke, myself).
If your insurance company lied about how much they were charging you,[ a hell of a lot more than they said on the phone] would you think they had done nothing wrong?
Since when was not telling the truth to a direct question [if it was asked or did she volunteer the info?] that you know the answer to an unintentional thing. Did she have amnesia?
I think its fair to say she did something wrong, it might be explained and he might understand and appreciate that she did eventually tell him, but he might be hurt and upset at first, because it is a lie, no matter how small some people think it may be.
However like i say if she comes clean asap the damage might not be so bad and they might be able to mive on from this, as imo there are worse things she could have lied about- she needs to try and redeem herself by coming clean.
Of course I hope to have developed further in 10 years time, I have many shortcomings and still have so much to learn.
10 years ago I was 14 so I dread to think what I was like! But when I was younger I wanted to learn and despised most people my own age, and now I am a bit older I still want to learn, which is why count myself as a step up from most morons my age.
And as long and anyone operating on me has completed they're training, explains what's going to happen to me and washes they're hands I am quite happy!
:D I'll stick with the experienced surgeon. And not getting MRSA.
Age shouldn't get in a way of those who dearly love one another, I know someone who has a husband that is 9yrs her junior, and my ex was 10yrs older than myself.
Age shouldn't get in a way of those who dearly love one another, I know someone who has a husband that is 9yrs her junior, and my ex was 10yrs older than myself.
Sooner she tells him the better.
I think most of us are in agreement that it's not the age difference that's the problem, it's the lying.
I think most of us are in agreement that it's not the age difference that's the problem, it's the lying.
But she only told the lie in the first instance so that he wouldn't be put off - it was because she really liked the look of him. And of course, she wasn't thinking ahead to what it would be like if the relationship progressed to where it is now - true love.
If she justified the lie by thinking it did not matter in a fling, then as soon as it became clear this was something more, she should have told him, perhaps during their chats about honesty?
Also what does it say about her opinion of herself that she feels she has to lie to attract him, and her initial opinion of him?
I sincerely hope by the way that she will tell him and he will be fine and even see the funny side. I would love to think it will be one of their long running jokes! Perhaps she will even get to celebrate two birthdays Her real one and her pretend one
Not me, actually, but someone very close to me, has been going out with a 24 year old boy for a couple of months.
When they met she told him she was 29, she is actually 33.
She does look young for her age (she has a cute, baby face, and a lovely slender figure).
She is terrified of him finding out how old she really is. She is almost 10 years older than him. They have had several discussions about honesty and how important it is to be upfront about everything, but she still is unable to tell him the truth in case she loses him, not just for being almost 10 years older, but also for being dishonest.
She worries about this all the time. Any ideas on what she should do? I know people will say "just come clean and tell him" - but how does she do it?
Any thoughts?
Just tell him.
The secret is when you first meet a younger bloke is to tell him you are at least 15 years older than you really are.
if he stays then the lying pans itself out and is a bonus.
Dont say you are younger because it never works.
my sister does it all the time and i think she is doomed to a life of loneliness because she's in her 40's and tries to pass herself off as 29.
You can tell she isnt
When I was 23-24 I was seeing a woman who was 33-34. I knew how old she was from the beginning. I really, honestly didn't care in the slightest about her age, but what did annoy me were all the insecurities coming from the age difference, as she'd be worried about female friends my own age, etc. It would probably be a lot worse if she'd lied about her age because I would just think she was being paranoid for no reason. Because I knew, I at least understood why she was insecure.
Yeah, lying about her age is a problem - for the lies, not the age - but it's not going to just go away, and the sooner she deals with it the better. It might even improve their relationship.
But she only told the lie in the first instance so that he wouldn't be put off - it was because she really liked the look of him. And of course, she wasn't thinking ahead to what it would be like if the relationship progressed to where it is now - true love.
True love..? Really..? If that's the case why is she worried?
Relationships have lasted through much bigger lies and deceit, affairs, children as a result of cheating, gambling, abuse etc.
She has true love and she's worried about her age? Give her a decent open handed slap and tell her to grow up.
Comments
OK - she should have told him she was 33, instead of 29 but he's 24 - it's not like he's 18 or even 50.
This woman was just insecure about her age - I don't think she intended to lie to him.
It's not a criminal offence to tell someone you're younger than you actually are - a bloke mistook me for 18 when I was 26 (I'm a bloke, myself).
Since when was not telling the truth to a direct question [if it was asked or did she volunteer the info?] that you know the answer to an unintentional thing. Did she have amnesia?
However like i say if she comes clean asap the damage might not be so bad and they might be able to mive on from this, as imo there are worse things she could have lied about- she needs to try and redeem herself by coming clean.
Sooner she tells him the better.
But she only told the lie in the first instance so that he wouldn't be put off - it was because she really liked the look of him. And of course, she wasn't thinking ahead to what it would be like if the relationship progressed to where it is now - true love.
If she justified the lie by thinking it did not matter in a fling, then as soon as it became clear this was something more, she should have told him, perhaps during their chats about honesty?
Also what does it say about her opinion of herself that she feels she has to lie to attract him, and her initial opinion of him?
I sincerely hope by the way that she will tell him and he will be fine and even see the funny side. I would love to think it will be one of their long running jokes! Perhaps she will even get to celebrate two birthdays
Just tell him.
The secret is when you first meet a younger bloke is to tell him you are at least 15 years older than you really are.
if he stays then the lying pans itself out and is a bonus.
Dont say you are younger because it never works.
my sister does it all the time and i think she is doomed to a life of loneliness because she's in her 40's and tries to pass herself off as 29.
You can tell she isnt
Yeah, lying about her age is a problem - for the lies, not the age - but it's not going to just go away, and the sooner she deals with it the better. It might even improve their relationship.
Relationships have lasted through much bigger lies and deceit, affairs, children as a result of cheating, gambling, abuse etc.
She has true love and she's worried about her age? Give her a decent open handed slap and tell her to grow up.
Thank you!!! This is my favourite answer and it is the one I am going to suggest she takes heed of.
(But I won't give her a slap, as you suggested, as she is very dear to me).
Again, thank you.
And thank you to everyone who took the time to post. It has helped to put things into perspective.