Options
I don't know what to do.
![[Deleted User]](https://w0.vanillicon.com/v2/05fd6835f31f63baa1e07350fd878676.svg)
[Deleted User]
Posts: 24 Forum Member
✭
Hi everyone
So i've got myself into a situation, or rather my feelings have.
About a year and 3months ago i met X online. Not through a dating site, but through a social site that i was doing for fun, in my spare time. I'm from the UK and shes from the US. I liked her from the start and we started chatting and eventually we confessed to really liking each other. in fact, she told me she loved me, and i almost told her the same back, but i didn't feel fully comfortable saying it when we hadn't met yet. Anyway time passed and the rest is history but we've now met in real life about 3weeks ago and we both really like each other.
But here's the problem. I didn't tell anyone about my relationship between X beacuse I knew what some of my friends would think and didn't know what some of my other friends would think. Anyway, last christmas one of my best friends, Y, told me she liked me. At the time i didn't really think i liked her that way... Well i guess i did have a small crush on her but i never thought anything of it or make any advances because she was my best friend and also because i was with girl X. So i told her that i'm sorry i don't really think of her in the same way. Not long after, girl X and I agreed to arrange to meet and she bought tickets to come over here to the UK to meet me for two weeks. However over the next months girl Y, my best friend, changed A LOT. not that she dressed particularly differently but she changed her hair and well we started getting closer. Also the band that we were both in at the time split up and we started doing duet performances together. anyway i found myself liking her more and more and finding it harder and harder to not do anything even knowing that girl X was coming. In the end i couldn't help it and ended up kissing her, but knowing that she was my best friend and that i wanted to be honest with her i told her about girl X and how she was coming. At first she was upset but she quickly came around and started flirting with me, and then i guess we got together about 5/6 weeks before girl Y was due to come. during those 5/6 weeks i fell in love with her. it just seemed so good as been as we were pretty much best friends already and we knew a lot, if not everything about each other already. I told her that nothing would happen with girl X and she said she trusted me and that she kinda wanted me to meet girl X anyway because she didn't want me to regret not meeting her after all the time I put in to getting to know her. so off i went, and i told girl X that i'm sorry but she shouldn't expect anything when she came beacuse i think my feelings have started to change for. I felt really bad about telling her this... i mean REALLY bad but i talked to people about it and they agreed that it was better to tell her before she came, and had to deal with me telling her whilst she was here.
Anyway, in the end we met and i couldn't deny the fact that i had feelings fo her. Maybe just the fact that i was with girl Y before was masking my feelings for girl X i don't know. During the two weeks she was here i kept in touch with girl Y and told her nothing was happening, but in the second week, i kissed girl X. i still told girl Y that nothing happened though. When girl X had left though, girl Y asked me what was up... i guess i was acting differently or something, but she could tell something wasn't ok. I ended up telling her we kissed and to cut a long story short she went crazy at me contacted girl X and told her and left me and hasn't spoken to me since. I went on holiday and couldn't talk to her for a while anyway. Now i've come back i'm in a difficult position because i think that girl Y, my best friend, will take me back if i want her back, but that would mean losing girl X. girl X is still speaking to me and is saying she wants me back as her boyfriend.
But i can't decide, i love both of them. Am i being stupid that i'm not just telling girl X that i will get back with her even though shes still wants me back after all of this. Or am i being stupid throwing away the relationship i had with girl Y. I'm losing my best friend and her love after all. Although she may not even take me back anyway.
Please could i have some adivce, i love both and couldn't stand losing both
So i've got myself into a situation, or rather my feelings have.
About a year and 3months ago i met X online. Not through a dating site, but through a social site that i was doing for fun, in my spare time. I'm from the UK and shes from the US. I liked her from the start and we started chatting and eventually we confessed to really liking each other. in fact, she told me she loved me, and i almost told her the same back, but i didn't feel fully comfortable saying it when we hadn't met yet. Anyway time passed and the rest is history but we've now met in real life about 3weeks ago and we both really like each other.
But here's the problem. I didn't tell anyone about my relationship between X beacuse I knew what some of my friends would think and didn't know what some of my other friends would think. Anyway, last christmas one of my best friends, Y, told me she liked me. At the time i didn't really think i liked her that way... Well i guess i did have a small crush on her but i never thought anything of it or make any advances because she was my best friend and also because i was with girl X. So i told her that i'm sorry i don't really think of her in the same way. Not long after, girl X and I agreed to arrange to meet and she bought tickets to come over here to the UK to meet me for two weeks. However over the next months girl Y, my best friend, changed A LOT. not that she dressed particularly differently but she changed her hair and well we started getting closer. Also the band that we were both in at the time split up and we started doing duet performances together. anyway i found myself liking her more and more and finding it harder and harder to not do anything even knowing that girl X was coming. In the end i couldn't help it and ended up kissing her, but knowing that she was my best friend and that i wanted to be honest with her i told her about girl X and how she was coming. At first she was upset but she quickly came around and started flirting with me, and then i guess we got together about 5/6 weeks before girl Y was due to come. during those 5/6 weeks i fell in love with her. it just seemed so good as been as we were pretty much best friends already and we knew a lot, if not everything about each other already. I told her that nothing would happen with girl X and she said she trusted me and that she kinda wanted me to meet girl X anyway because she didn't want me to regret not meeting her after all the time I put in to getting to know her. so off i went, and i told girl X that i'm sorry but she shouldn't expect anything when she came beacuse i think my feelings have started to change for. I felt really bad about telling her this... i mean REALLY bad but i talked to people about it and they agreed that it was better to tell her before she came, and had to deal with me telling her whilst she was here.
Anyway, in the end we met and i couldn't deny the fact that i had feelings fo her. Maybe just the fact that i was with girl Y before was masking my feelings for girl X i don't know. During the two weeks she was here i kept in touch with girl Y and told her nothing was happening, but in the second week, i kissed girl X. i still told girl Y that nothing happened though. When girl X had left though, girl Y asked me what was up... i guess i was acting differently or something, but she could tell something wasn't ok. I ended up telling her we kissed and to cut a long story short she went crazy at me contacted girl X and told her and left me and hasn't spoken to me since. I went on holiday and couldn't talk to her for a while anyway. Now i've come back i'm in a difficult position because i think that girl Y, my best friend, will take me back if i want her back, but that would mean losing girl X. girl X is still speaking to me and is saying she wants me back as her boyfriend.
But i can't decide, i love both of them. Am i being stupid that i'm not just telling girl X that i will get back with her even though shes still wants me back after all of this. Or am i being stupid throwing away the relationship i had with girl Y. I'm losing my best friend and her love after all. Although she may not even take me back anyway.
Please could i have some adivce, i love both and couldn't stand losing both
0
Comments
how old are you ?
i knew someone would say this... and maybe i don't. i'm not afraid to admit that maybe i don't, but i DO really care about them both and i'm still in this situation.
and i'm 18
totally agree, sounds like a crush on both, cant love 2 people like this, cake and eat it springs to mind
i understand this, and i understand i have to choose one because i can't "have my cake and eat it" which is why i posted this so i could have some help choosing, and some help because i'm feeling frustrated by it
how can anyone possibly help you choose, haha. we are not you and we cannot see inside your head.
a) maintain a relationship with girl X if she lives in the US? You've only met her recently and long term relationships aren't easy at the best of times
b) maintain any sort of relationship with Y if you decide on X , which will lose you a friend and a singing partner (do you do that for money? - something else to consider)
c) forget X and break contact with her if you choose Y
d) forget Y and break contact with her if you choose X
(c) may be easier than d) if you and Y live in the same town.)
e) resist the charms of Y if she decides to keep coming onto you if you choose X - easier to 'slip' if the other person is not around for months at a time!
Good luck whatever you decide!
Some help choosing ? By strangers on the internet ?
What if we all pick the wrong one ?
She's on the same continent and it's cheaper.
Seconded!
I like her more than Y.
You are young, so serious relationships probably are scary and generally are not going to last a lifetime. For that reason, you have to end things with X and have no further contact with her.
Realistically you do not have a future with this girl as she lives in the US, and the only way she will be living here is if you get married - which you would not even be considering at your age.
Stick with Y, have no further contact with X and concentrate on the girl who lives near you, loves you and that you have a lot in common with.
But if he dumps Y she will then be his X.
i have no answer to this.
By the way...I married an american girl...from California...and it's a culture clash at times but worth it