Andrew Linn, Professor of Linguistics at the University of Sheffield, deconstructed the joke.
"The essence of a fine joke is clever and original use of language, often exploiting some sort of ambiguity.
Unless Andrew Linn, Professor of Linguistics at the University of Sheffield is also an idiot.
One Christmas Eve, after a chess tournament in a hotel, two contestants were arguing,
"I thought my move Queen to E6 was the best ever"
"No mine was better Knight to G5"
A young boy overheard them talking and asked his father what they were talking about. The father replied "Don't worry about it son, they are just chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a bra.
Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, ‘How do these represent Christmas?’ The third man answers, ‘They’re Carol’s.’
Comments
What is Sherlock's favourite festive song?
I'll be Holmes for Christmas
How did Scrooge score a goal?
The ghost of Christmas passed
What did the snowman's hat say to the scarf?
You hang around while I go on ahead.
Top ten worst Christmas cracker jokes ever
Unless Andrew Linn, Professor of Linguistics at the University of Sheffield is also an idiot.
This just made me laugh hysterically for about 20 mins!!! Thank you so much!!!
It's also my new facebook status!
You managed to suck all the fun out of that one didn't you. The original Scrooge!
It wasn't exactly a fun-filled 'stravaganza to begin with though, that one, to be fair
I replied, "No way, I'll be putting it up in my living room."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80gE1PhcyHU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byH-eq_1TFU
lol
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Santa stopped at 3 ho’s.
I think it's going to reindeer
U KIP, if you want to.
*gets coat*
"I thought my move Queen to E6 was the best ever"
"No mine was better Knight to G5"
A young boy overheard them talking and asked his father what they were talking about. The father replied "Don't worry about it son, they are just chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Because of elf and safety
What do you call a snowman in Spring?
A puddle
What Christmas Carol can be heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful
How do you know this? I always thought he preferred a stuffed crust!
I've got my mum a wooden leg for Christmas.
She needn't worry though, it's not her main present........it's just a stocking filler!
I keep hearing a Kate Bush Christmas song on the radio - I assumed that was new.
i had a similar one
man to wife..I think it's gonna snow
wife...no.i think it's going to reindeer
A. Snowballs
Dad, dad.......I don't want an Xbox for Christmas any more!
Oh, err..........why not ?
I just found one in the wardrobe in your bedroom !
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a bra.
Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, ‘How do these represent Christmas?’ The third man answers, ‘They’re Carol’s.’