Asking Liz Jones to write sensibly about food and the cooking thereof makes roughly as much sense as asking a rabbi to comment on the relative merits of several bacon sandwiches. She really does seem genuinely unhinged.
Asking Liz Jones to write sensibly about food and the cooking thereof makes roughly as much sense as asking a rabbi to comment on the relative merits of several bacon sandwiches. She really does seem genuinely unhinged.
As for the Dreary... but no, let us not speak ill of the elderly and terminally infirm.
BIB - Couldn't agree with you more! I mean, when she writes things like this: "People who are into cooking are the worst souls on earth, constantly in search of praise, dominating the poor sods who live with them with over-complicated dishes we never wanted to eat in the first place".
It's insulting to anyone (the vast majority of people) who do the cooking at home day in, day out, as well as those who have the talent and skill to do amazing things with food. I'm one of the former, not really one of the latter, but I am definitely 'into cooking' and make no apology for that - guess I'm one of the 'worst souls on earth' then, Liz.
But I'd sooner be me than her... and I suspect most people who've read both offerings today feel pretty much the same! ;-)
Classic Jones this week. She gets the wrong year for Back in Time for Dinner, slags off Masterchef contestants with scarves knotted on their hair (with a large photo of a contestant with a scarf in her hair) and fails to understand that a majority of the population see food as a pleasure.
As someone who says she never eats, she does go on about food a lot doesn't she, the mad old biddy.
THe Dreary was just... dreary and the 'fashion' piece about Next and M&S was laughable.
I see from her Daily Fail article the Lizard is having a go at people who "cook from scratch" now.
Dear Liz, I hope you read this forum as I have a few things to say to you concerning this.
1. Boasting that you have never cooked meat and 2 veg for anyone. This isn't really anything to boast about. I'm sure you hard working mother would have been delighted if you, instead of thinking about your wants and needs as you were growing up, cooked the main family meal maybe once a week so she could have a sit down for awhile. I started doing this when I was 14 (my first attempt was pretty awful) as my mum worked weekends as well as during the week. Instead of coming in from a long shift to cook for our big brood she could settle down for a cuppa or go into her garden whilst I dished up.
I didn't do this because I was an ego-maniac, I did it out of love for my mum.
2. You do know there is this WONDERFUL thing called "internet shopping"? I don't know what decade you are living in but I haven't done food shopping in my lunchtime since... well never. Unless you count popping out for a sarnie as food shopping. I used to go at weekends and then the internet gave us online shopping. I do it in the evening Liz, thus saving lunch hours to work. I know this means I can't spend an hour or so fretting about myself or mopping because someone may not have a light in their bathroom but hey! It's marvelous Liz! I don't even have to leave the house to mix with common local folk. And by being very nice and cheerful to all the delivery drivers they now even take my food into my kitchen and some even bring it round the back, all without me asking them to or them needing to do it. (even those common stores like Tesco and Sainsburys..)
3. I'm not sure you understand the concept of Masterchef but you will normally see people cooking and eating meat and fish on this show. It isn't Veganchef. I know this must come as an awful shock to you as they are not catering for you needs and wants but we must give and take in this world Liz.
May I suggest the Great british Bakeoff? I know it may contain eggs and milk products but I think you may be save from a rack of lamb. But then you may not like it as there is a lot of cakes.
4. Cooking is good for the soul. It helps some of us escape from our troubles for a while. It teaches you patience and the art of being able to take a few ingredients (even if all veg) to create something that will please yourself and other people. It teaches you to take into consideration another persons needs (they may not like a certain ingredient so you adapt the recipe). It feeds the soul. For some people its a way of showing affection and appreciation to another person. It can help parents bond with their children and learn how their day has gone. vesta curries were crap but a nice homemade one can make people happy and content and sometimes even loved.
4. I don't think you QUITE understand how much work is involved with some of Ella Woodwards recipes. Just because it's a vegan gluten raw diet does not mean it's quick and easy. Preparation, preparation, preparation my dear Liz. Also as you seem to have money worries all the time I don't think you will be in a position to be able to source and buy all the ingredients you need for all her recipes to live like she does. Also as you are always typing I don't think you will have the time to prep anything to be able to eat it. So you will get very hungry (which I think you may like felling from reading your articles). Also the paper you write for did an article on her food a few weeks back, maybe read it?
5. Squirrels may look cute and cuddly but are vermin. As are rabbits. I love rabbits, had them as a kid and loved one so much I made my dad build a 2 storey insulated brick house with huge outdoor run with a homemade catflap so he didn't feel the draft. he used to escape and spend his mornings lounging on the kitchen floor, playing with the dog. But he was a pet. If we didn't eat the wild bunnies then you will wake up one day and find Waitrose is out of stock on all its organic veg as they would have nibbled away every food item you hold dear. Squrriels strip the bark from young trees (as do deer) , killing them.
Will nobody think of the poor flora!!!
I'm not an ego-maniac Liz but today I will be baking a cake to take into work (as they all love it and it makes Monday a bit more brighter for us hard working riff raff) and will be cooking up a curry, meatballs and a fish pie for later in the week as I need to use the food in the fridge up and it's not payday yet (and the fish pie is for MrBC as he loves it and he has been working so hard of late). I know, I know, what a weak feeble "slave to the kitchen" female I must be to spend my time cooking for others and just getting a "thank you" in return.
But I'd rather be in the kitchen doing something I love for people I love than what you seem to do to the people you love, which seems to consist of throwing everything they ever do in their face publicly and then wondering why they leave you.
And stop being so passive aggressive, it's an ugly trait to have.
Catching up on this week's diary and DominoDarling's posts here really makes it hit home just what a nasty, hateful old witch Liz Jones is. Nothing but spite and loathing oozes from her every pour. How can anyone defend this horrible woman? Why would anyone want to?
People who are into cooking ie her on-off fiance are the worst souls on earth, constantly in search of praise, dominating the poor sods who live with them with over-complicated dishes we never wanted to eat in the first place
This is the same woman who moaned a few weeks back that the Baker didn't feed her whereas the Fake Rock Star's chef used to make her fancy vegetarian thingummies with almonds.
I bet their husbands are so grateful these pinnied, mumsy, bossyboots are on telly, away from home so they get to eat ready meals, without having to exclaim every five seconds to their martyred mates how delicious everything is, knowing they will have to wash up afterwards, a task surely harder than chopping a few stalks of coriander and frying a bit of hormone-addled flesh in the Le Creuset.
This is the same woman who moans about the Baker not altering his home to please her, not doing what she orders him to do, not gushing ecstatically over the manicured lawns, etc etc, and who would have hysterics if presented with a ready meal.
A professional troll's career is undermined enormously when it shares too much information about its alleged real life. It keeps contradicting itself.
As for the Dreary, if true, it's really almost heartbreaking. She gets an email that reads her her pedigree. She is horrified to realise that her cruelty and snobbery have driven away David. So she writes a nasty email back attacking his failings that just makes her look harder and more vicious than ever before.
The thing with the ring makes my blood boil. Someone as destitute as Liz (HA!) should surely comprehend that sometimes people cannot afford the most costly of jewels and that it's the thought that counts. She spent a year shrieking and whining about his failure to propose. Then she turned her nose up at the ring because it was cheap. What does it even look like? If she didn't know it was cheap would she care? Would she change her mind if one of her friends had said "this piece of tat-looking thing is a costly designer doo dad from the latest hot jeweller in NYC I don't blame you for not realising, the designer is only VERY newly the latest thing and isn't really mainstream yet"?
I've noticed this in many people who like to 'tell it like it is' with no respect to other people's feelings and yet if anyone dares to object or points out their own short-comings they squeal like a piglet, turn on the waterworks and claim they are being bullied. Fortunately most of these hideous souls don't have a national newspaper/website to vent their cowardly spleens in. Even if the people Liz picks on in her column are not named, the hurt and humiliation she personally causes is totally unacceptable for them to have to endure.
Spot on, Seabird. I run in the other direction and don't look back the moment someone trumpets they "tell it like it is" or are a "straight talker" because I've never encountered anyone who says that who hasn't been a raging arsehole and/or bully. People who boast how everyone either "loves me or hates me" give me similar feelings - they are almost always horrible.
So in one breath she's saying she wanted to stop the "I love you" texts, because 'words mean so little', but the article is all about how she's gone and lost him because she's writing about him every week, just as she lost her husband. Has she never heard the saying "the pen is mightier than the sword", and the bile that she writes every week about this man she supposedly loves would be enough to turn any bloke off.
She really is quite the most stupid person, totally self absorbed, and nutty as a fruit bat. Whatever did he see in her in the first place, at least he's done the right thing now and dumped her. That is always assuming that he really does exist.
If he does, he should come on this forum to see that we all support him.
If he does, he should come on this forum to see that we all support him.
Whilst I can't stand Liz I certainly don't support David.
Why would he stay with a woman who criticises him and writes about his faults every week in a national newspaper unless he wants the fame, the expensive gifts, had an ulterior motive or he's a masochist?
at least he's done the right thing now and dumped her. That is always assuming that he really does exist.
If he does, he should come on this forum to see that we all support him.
I think their "relatiionship" is far from over. She's been doing this routine since she introduced DScrace into the pages of the dreary. Just wait until next week, or any time in the near future. I would bet my money on the will they/won't they farce continuing.
And I certainly do not support him. He's almost as bad as she is, allowing her to write what she does about him and letting people like DominoDarling who have no voice be bullied in the national press. He deserves what he gets at this point I'm afraid.
I have no sympathy for Dscrace. He was warned and warned again about what he was getting himself into. In order to cement their unholy alliance he sold his friends and ex girlfriend down the river... starting with the blogger at the Herne Hill cokefest and running on downhill from there. He has been successfully alienated from his past and is looking at a future of being a laughing stock. I just hope he feels it's all been worth it.
Does anyone know for sure that it's over now?'
Or is this just more drama.
If this is the big ending for real then who's she got in mind next for the hot seat?
I don't think it is, didn't someone say they were seen together all gooey two or three weeks ago?
My sole hope is that SHE is the one who did the grovelling this time. I mean seriously, she's a terrible person, she's acted horribly towards someone she supposedly wanted to marry, and so if we must see this gruesome trainwreck of a relationship played out in the media then please let's see Liz accept that she is a terrible person and beg Daaaaavid's forgiveness for being such a heinous bitch.
I have no sympathy for Dscrace. He was warned and warned again about what he was getting himself into. In order to cement their unholy alliance he sold his friends and ex girlfriend down the river... starting with the blogger at the Herne Hill cokefest and running on downhill from there. He has been successfully alienated from his past and is looking at a future of being a laughing stock. I just hope he feels it's all been worth it.
I can't see how it possibly can be. But ageing men with few charms left sometimes take what looks like the best deal, especially if mildly bullied into it. I suppose he's thinking money, retirement in a cushy place, etc etc.
Except of course for how Liz is destitute in her million-dollar, proudly kitchenless house, and will spend the rest of her life creating reasons to send him away for a few days so she can give her toenails a rest from polish and scrimp a few pence away from the high cost of her physical upkeep. Like all the other destitute people.
I don't think it is, didn't someone say they were seen together all gooey two or three weeks ago?
My sole hope is that SHE is the one who did the grovelling this time. I mean seriously, she's a terrible person, she's acted horribly towards someone she supposedly wanted to marry, and so if we must see this gruesome trainwreck of a relationship played out in the media then please let's see Liz accept that she is a terrible person and beg Daaaaavid's forgiveness for being such a heinous bitch.
Isn't it odd that now she is with a Baker from Brixton she gets spotted out and about with him but when she was with a world famous, headlining Rock Star there was never even a blurry mobile phone pic of the two of them together.....
I think I spotted Liz in Richmond last week. I don't live there but I was in the area. Only saw the back of her, but it was her loud estuary voice that attracted my attention, seemed out of place there. She was with a younger woman, dressed for the country etc, who I thought might of been Nic! She was saying that she had dreamt last night that she had bought a printer for her desk. I wasn't standing particularly near but she has a loud voice, but that might be because of her hearing problem. Not particularly slim, normal sized, so not quite sure why she keeps saying she is skinny. Messy dyed black hair. I am sure it was her, I googled images of her in Richmond and she came up in some recent photos when she reported that her neighbour was stalking Nic, and she was wearing the same jacket and jeans. My OH does not know anything about her but when he heard her voice he immediately said in his best cockney take off, gawd blimey! I wish I had seen her front on!
I think I spotted Liz in Richmond last week. I don't live there but I was in the area. Only saw the back of her, but it was her loud estuary voice that attracted my attention, seemed out of place there. She was with a younger woman, dressed for the country etc, who I thought might of been Nic! She was saying that she had dreamt last night that she had bought a printer for her desk. I wasn't standing particularly near but she has a loud voice, but that might be because of her hearing problem. Not particularly slim, normal sized, so not quite sure why she keeps saying she is skinny. Messy dyed black hair. I am sure it was her, I googled images of her in Richmond and she came up in some recent photos when she reported that her neighbour was stalking Nic, and she was wearing the same jacket and jeans. My OH does not know anything about her but when he heard her voice he immediately said in his best cockney take off, gawd blimey! I wish I had seen her front on!
You'd have been turned to stone, Poppy!
I saw her in real life about 3 yrs ago and she was definately not 'painfully thin'. I'm a healthy size 10-12 and would say I'm smaller than her. She has also ruined her hair with all the 'midnight storm' (witchy black) hair dye, giving hera huge gap rather than a parting. I was surprised she hasn't done something about that because she's the vainest most self obsessed person ever
You'd have been turned to stone, Poppy!
I saw her in real life about 3 yrs ago and she was definately not 'painfully thin'. I'm a healthy size 10-12 and would say I'm smaller than her. She has also ruined her hair with all the 'midnight storm' (witchy black) hair dye, giving hera huge gap rather than a parting. I was surprised she hasn't done something about that because she's the vainest most self obsessed person ever
Everyone defines things differently, but to me real vanity is the opinion that you are fabulous unlike mere mortals who try to make the best of themselves.
This is a woman who claims a young man had his breath taken away by 'the sheer fabulousness' of herself, she is in a whole different league of ego.
For what it's worth, bearing in mind the ludicrous rant against Masterchef last weekend, can any one guess who wrote the following recently?:
"But while I never cook, I adore cookery programmes. I want to live in Lorraine Pascale’s sunny home, and wear her tight jeans and immaculate white shirts. I want Rachel Khoo’s coquettish sex appeal. I crave Nigella Lawson’s confidence and affluence. I love Nigel Slater’s herb garden, and wish I were married to Jamie Oliver. Oh, and I’d adore animalistic sex with Gordon Ramsay, too."
For what it's worth, bearing in mind the ludicrous rant against Masterchef last weekend, can any one guess who wrote the following recently?:
"But while I never cook, I adore cookery programmes. I want to live in Lorraine Pascale’s sunny home, and wear her tight jeans and immaculate white shirts. I want Rachel Khoo’s coquettish sex appeal. I crave Nigella Lawson’s confidence and affluence. I love Nigel Slater’s herb garden, and wish I were married to Jamie Oliver. Oh, and I’d adore animalistic sex with Gordon Ramsay, too."
Comments
What I was trying to say was that the "the breathtaking hypocrisy" mentioned by Rubbish Name is horribly true, and horribly imcomprehensible.
Quite.
But the rule is, according to Liz anyway, never ever take me to task over what I've written.
I don't want to be gross, but it's like a fart, she does it (writes it) then leaves the room saying it wasn't me.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-3016502/Cooking-ego-maniacs-Just-look-MasterChef-writes-LIZ-JONES.html
As for the Dreary... but no, let us not speak ill of the elderly and terminally infirm.
BIB - Couldn't agree with you more! I mean, when she writes things like this: "People who are into cooking are the worst souls on earth, constantly in search of praise, dominating the poor sods who live with them with over-complicated dishes we never wanted to eat in the first place".
It's insulting to anyone (the vast majority of people) who do the cooking at home day in, day out, as well as those who have the talent and skill to do amazing things with food. I'm one of the former, not really one of the latter, but I am definitely 'into cooking' and make no apology for that - guess I'm one of the 'worst souls on earth' then, Liz.
But I'd sooner be me than her... and I suspect most people who've read both offerings today feel pretty much the same! ;-)
PS - I love watching Masterchef!
As someone who says she never eats, she does go on about food a lot doesn't she, the mad old biddy.
THe Dreary was just... dreary and the 'fashion' piece about Next and M&S was laughable.
Plus ca change eh?
Dear Liz, I hope you read this forum as I have a few things to say to you concerning this.
1. Boasting that you have never cooked meat and 2 veg for anyone. This isn't really anything to boast about. I'm sure you hard working mother would have been delighted if you, instead of thinking about your wants and needs as you were growing up, cooked the main family meal maybe once a week so she could have a sit down for awhile. I started doing this when I was 14 (my first attempt was pretty awful) as my mum worked weekends as well as during the week. Instead of coming in from a long shift to cook for our big brood she could settle down for a cuppa or go into her garden whilst I dished up.
I didn't do this because I was an ego-maniac, I did it out of love for my mum.
2. You do know there is this WONDERFUL thing called "internet shopping"? I don't know what decade you are living in but I haven't done food shopping in my lunchtime since... well never. Unless you count popping out for a sarnie as food shopping. I used to go at weekends and then the internet gave us online shopping. I do it in the evening Liz, thus saving lunch hours to work. I know this means I can't spend an hour or so fretting about myself or mopping because someone may not have a light in their bathroom but hey! It's marvelous Liz! I don't even have to leave the house to mix with common local folk. And by being very nice and cheerful to all the delivery drivers they now even take my food into my kitchen and some even bring it round the back, all without me asking them to or them needing to do it. (even those common stores like Tesco and Sainsburys..)
3. I'm not sure you understand the concept of Masterchef but you will normally see people cooking and eating meat and fish on this show. It isn't Veganchef. I know this must come as an awful shock to you as they are not catering for you needs and wants but we must give and take in this world Liz.
May I suggest the Great british Bakeoff? I know it may contain eggs and milk products but I think you may be save from a rack of lamb. But then you may not like it as there is a lot of cakes.
4. Cooking is good for the soul. It helps some of us escape from our troubles for a while. It teaches you patience and the art of being able to take a few ingredients (even if all veg) to create something that will please yourself and other people. It teaches you to take into consideration another persons needs (they may not like a certain ingredient so you adapt the recipe). It feeds the soul. For some people its a way of showing affection and appreciation to another person. It can help parents bond with their children and learn how their day has gone. vesta curries were crap but a nice homemade one can make people happy and content and sometimes even loved.
4. I don't think you QUITE understand how much work is involved with some of Ella Woodwards recipes. Just because it's a vegan gluten raw diet does not mean it's quick and easy. Preparation, preparation, preparation my dear Liz. Also as you seem to have money worries all the time I don't think you will be in a position to be able to source and buy all the ingredients you need for all her recipes to live like she does. Also as you are always typing I don't think you will have the time to prep anything to be able to eat it. So you will get very hungry (which I think you may like felling from reading your articles). Also the paper you write for did an article on her food a few weeks back, maybe read it?
5. Squirrels may look cute and cuddly but are vermin. As are rabbits. I love rabbits, had them as a kid and loved one so much I made my dad build a 2 storey insulated brick house with huge outdoor run with a homemade catflap so he didn't feel the draft. he used to escape and spend his mornings lounging on the kitchen floor, playing with the dog. But he was a pet. If we didn't eat the wild bunnies then you will wake up one day and find Waitrose is out of stock on all its organic veg as they would have nibbled away every food item you hold dear. Squrriels strip the bark from young trees (as do deer) , killing them.
Will nobody think of the poor flora!!!
I'm not an ego-maniac Liz but today I will be baking a cake to take into work (as they all love it and it makes Monday a bit more brighter for us hard working riff raff) and will be cooking up a curry, meatballs and a fish pie for later in the week as I need to use the food in the fridge up and it's not payday yet (and the fish pie is for MrBC as he loves it and he has been working so hard of late). I know, I know, what a weak feeble "slave to the kitchen" female I must be to spend my time cooking for others and just getting a "thank you" in return.
But I'd rather be in the kitchen doing something I love for people I love than what you seem to do to the people you love, which seems to consist of throwing everything they ever do in their face publicly and then wondering why they leave you.
And stop being so passive aggressive, it's an ugly trait to have.
This is the same woman who moaned a few weeks back that the Baker didn't feed her whereas the Fake Rock Star's chef used to make her fancy vegetarian thingummies with almonds.
I bet their husbands are so grateful these pinnied, mumsy, bossyboots are on telly, away from home so they get to eat ready meals, without having to exclaim every five seconds to their martyred mates how delicious everything is, knowing they will have to wash up afterwards, a task surely harder than chopping a few stalks of coriander and frying a bit of hormone-addled flesh in the Le Creuset.
This is the same woman who moans about the Baker not altering his home to please her, not doing what she orders him to do, not gushing ecstatically over the manicured lawns, etc etc, and who would have hysterics if presented with a ready meal.
A professional troll's career is undermined enormously when it shares too much information about its alleged real life. It keeps contradicting itself.
As for the Dreary, if true, it's really almost heartbreaking. She gets an email that reads her her pedigree. She is horrified to realise that her cruelty and snobbery have driven away David. So she writes a nasty email back attacking his failings that just makes her look harder and more vicious than ever before.
The thing with the ring makes my blood boil. Someone as destitute as Liz (HA!) should surely comprehend that sometimes people cannot afford the most costly of jewels and that it's the thought that counts. She spent a year shrieking and whining about his failure to propose. Then she turned her nose up at the ring because it was cheap. What does it even look like? If she didn't know it was cheap would she care? Would she change her mind if one of her friends had said "this piece of tat-looking thing is a costly designer doo dad from the latest hot jeweller in NYC I don't blame you for not realising, the designer is only VERY newly the latest thing and isn't really mainstream yet"?
So what does she do? Continues to write (well, cut and paste...) about him even more.
And as for the thinly veiled reference to domino darling.. its all just so hypocritical. .
Spot on, Seabird. I run in the other direction and don't look back the moment someone trumpets they "tell it like it is" or are a "straight talker" because I've never encountered anyone who says that who hasn't been a raging arsehole and/or bully. People who boast how everyone either "loves me or hates me" give me similar feelings - they are almost always horrible.
She really is quite the most stupid person, totally self absorbed, and nutty as a fruit bat. Whatever did he see in her in the first place, at least he's done the right thing now and dumped her. That is always assuming that he really does exist.
If he does, he should come on this forum to see that we all support him.
Whilst I can't stand Liz I certainly don't support David.
Why would he stay with a woman who criticises him and writes about his faults every week in a national newspaper unless he wants the fame, the expensive gifts, had an ulterior motive or he's a masochist?
They're as bad as each other IMO.
I think their "relatiionship" is far from over. She's been doing this routine since she introduced DScrace into the pages of the dreary. Just wait until next week, or any time in the near future. I would bet my money on the will they/won't they farce continuing.
And I certainly do not support him. He's almost as bad as she is, allowing her to write what she does about him and letting people like DominoDarling who have no voice be bullied in the national press. He deserves what he gets at this point I'm afraid.
Or is this just more drama.
If this is the big ending for real then who's she got in mind next for the hot seat?
My sole hope is that SHE is the one who did the grovelling this time. I mean seriously, she's a terrible person, she's acted horribly towards someone she supposedly wanted to marry, and so if we must see this gruesome trainwreck of a relationship played out in the media then please let's see Liz accept that she is a terrible person and beg Daaaaavid's forgiveness for being such a heinous bitch.
I can't see how it possibly can be. But ageing men with few charms left sometimes take what looks like the best deal, especially if mildly bullied into it. I suppose he's thinking money, retirement in a cushy place, etc etc.
Except of course for how Liz is destitute in her million-dollar, proudly kitchenless house, and will spend the rest of her life creating reasons to send him away for a few days so she can give her toenails a rest from polish and scrimp a few pence away from the high cost of her physical upkeep. Like all the other destitute people.
Isn't it odd that now she is with a Baker from Brixton she gets spotted out and about with him but when she was with a world famous, headlining Rock Star there was never even a blurry mobile phone pic of the two of them together.....
You'd have been turned to stone, Poppy!
I saw her in real life about 3 yrs ago and she was definately not 'painfully thin'. I'm a healthy size 10-12 and would say I'm smaller than her. She has also ruined her hair with all the 'midnight storm' (witchy black) hair dye, giving hera huge gap rather than a parting. I was surprised she hasn't done something about that because she's the vainest most self obsessed person ever
Everyone defines things differently, but to me real vanity is the opinion that you are fabulous unlike mere mortals who try to make the best of themselves.
This is a woman who claims a young man had his breath taken away by 'the sheer fabulousness' of herself, she is in a whole different league of ego.
"But while I never cook, I adore cookery programmes. I want to live in Lorraine Pascale’s sunny home, and wear her tight jeans and immaculate white shirts. I want Rachel Khoo’s coquettish sex appeal. I crave Nigella Lawson’s confidence and affluence. I love Nigel Slater’s herb garden, and wish I were married to Jamie Oliver. Oh, and I’d adore animalistic sex with Gordon Ramsay, too."
Here's a clue: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2186863/Can-Mary-Berry-teach-fruitcake-like-Liz-Jones-bake-Answer-Of-course--toughest-bake-life.html
Jesus, she looks MASSIVE next to Mary Berry!
No, it is just her stress tummy. She is teeny, tiny really.