Wolf whistling is abuse?! I've heard it all now!:rolleyes::rolleyes:
It's not abuse but it can get very very very annoying if it is everyday. Having someone say you look lovely on a morning is nice, if they start to comment on you every morning it can get very very boring and annoying.
It's not abuse but it can get very very very annoying if it is everyday. Having someone say you look lovely on a morning is nice, if they start to comment on you every morning it can get very very boring and annoying.
Yes, but in reality, how many people have that happen to then every day.
I think you can learn to carry yourself with confidence even if you are not feeling it inside.
I used to have to walk through a very rough area from the bus stop to my home at one time and I always used to pull myself up to my full 5 foot 4 and stride along like I had somewhere really important to go - often with my keys in my hand in case someone did fancy having a go.
It's something you can practice every time you go out - stand upright, shoulder back, walk with purpose looking straight ahead and if some idiot calls out to you just ignore it and tell yourself that they are the one making a prat of themselves, not you.
I know what you mean. I can't tell you how bored and annoyed I get at people stopping me and telling me how good I look. Sometimes I have to steel myself at the front door before leaving home in the morning to prepare for another day of constant compliments.
I know what you mean. I can't tell you how bored and annoyed I get at people stopping me and telling me how good I look. Sometimes I have to steel myself at the front door before leaving home in the morning to prepare for another day of constant compliments.
A few weeks ago I was waiting to get a bus into the city centre on a Saturday night, a young (20 something) and very pretty girl walked up to the bus stop. She was nicely dressed for an evening out in the sunshine (showing a little, very tanned, toned flesh). To me, she looked the very epitome of the type of girl that would get positive comment if anything, not negative (that came across horribly sexist, and wasn't meant to).
Anyway, as she got to the bus stop some lads (very young - 14 - 16 I would say) started shouting horrible things at her (to be honest, I only caught the tail end of some of the remarks).
She held her own. Gave back as good as she got, but won because she did it in a dignified way - not bad language, but quick, clever put downs, and retained a nonchalant air about her as if to suggest 'play along little boys'.
It struck me that this had clearly happened to her before.
I think that sometimes it's jealousy that makes people act like that.
My daughter is stunningly beautiful - a real head-turner. She's slim, gorgeous figure, long dark hair and a classically beautiful face. When she was out in town (aged 18) a 40-50 year-old woman passer-by shouted "you ugly cow" and other even worse things at her for no reason at all!
What are you saying? People with low confidence or low self esteem should all go on assertiveness courses or join a martial arts class because some brain dead idiots can't behave themselves and those who don't only have themselves to blame and should just accept that they're gonna get bullied? That's they're fault then is it?
Never said it was their fault but that it reality. Yes there are brain dead idiots out there (and growing in number) and yes I wish they didn't exist but they do. So either put up with it or do something about it.
That's as ridiculous as saying women who walk around in short skirts deserve to get raped and should cover up because if they don't it's their own fault for getting abused.
What are you saying? People with low confidence or low self esteem should all go on assertiveness courses or join a martial arts class because some brain dead idiots can't behave themselves and those who don't only have themselves to blame and should just accept that they're gonna get bullied? That's they're fault then is it?
That's as ridiculous as saying women who walk around in short skirts deserve to get raped and should cover up because if they don't it's their own fault for getting abused.
Why the hell should they change their ways just because some morons can't grow up and conduct themselves like adults.
You can't help the way that other people act (as any partner in a long-term marriage will tell you). You can only do something about the way that YOU act. It's not a question of being at fault. Personally I'd like to just get rid of all the stupid people, but it's not going to happen, nor is it ever going to happen that every brain-dead moron who shouts sexist abuse at women is going to be banged up. So if it's possible to prevent said brain-dead morons from shouting abuse at you by changing your attitude and becoming more confident, why wouldn't you do it?
Don't think its body language or anything, kids in cars just like to shout shit at randoms.
Just don't take it personally, I mean its a bunch of ********s driving around shouting insults at people, are these really the sort people you give a rats ass about? Kind of like a tramp saying you had a bad haircut. Who cares?
I know what you mean. I can't tell you how bored and annoyed I get at people stopping me and telling me how good I look. Sometimes I have to steel myself at the front door before leaving home in the morning to prepare for another day of constant compliments.
Just the one is more than enough, isn't it? I find that after that it's just deja vu/Groundhog Day all over again. :yawn::D
I totally agree that you force people to have confidence but there are ways of improving it. Key is to find what the root issue is that cause is causing the problem (weight, bust size, interests or whatever) and do something about it. Either change it or accept it and that is something that becomes easier with age.
I think most people know what they feel their root issues are but possibly not how to tackle them. Some of the time there are no issues, just how they view themselves.
So what about my SIL who has a disfigurement caused by a medical condition? This is no fault of her own and there is nothing she can do about it. No amount of walking tall will change things. Why should she be made to feel like a freak every time she is around strangers? Why can't she be accepted and treated normally?
The problem is not with the 'victim' but with society.
Yes, but in reality, how many people have that happen to then every day.
I'm guessing a few women if not most . It's happened to me several times that a guy has just taken set on you because of your looks and keeps chatting to you on your way to work or hovering for you when you are going about your normal commute. It is intrusive. If a woman doesn't stop to be chatted up after the first 3 or 4 times why continue?
I currenlty have one in the supermarket. Your browsing for X and he walks up to you and comments on how well you push your trolley or how lovely you look or who you are sharing your wine with. It's nice if it happens once but every time?
So what about my SIL who has a disfigurement caused by a medical condition? This is no fault of her own and there is nothing she can do about it. No amount of walking tall will change things. Why should she be made to feel like a freak every time she is around strangers? Why can't she be accepted and treated normally?
The problem is not with the 'victim' but with society.
I hate to it but at time society sucks at times, at least you make sure you and your kids don't behave like yobs. If you really feel strongly about it then campaign about it.
Don't think its body language or anything, kids in cars just like to shout shit at randoms.
Just don't take it personally, I mean its a bunch of ********s driving around shouting insults at people, are these really the sort people you give a rats ass about? Kind of like a tramp saying you had a bad haircut. Who cares?
If this happened once or twice i would agree but OP says this is happening regular, I agree they are idiots but that doesn't stop OP from being embarrssed.
Hiya people just thought I'd give a quick update, well on Sunday I went to southport and it was a perfect day but when i was walking back to the train station with my friend a guy looked at me up and down and laughed. Today i went out to walk to the main rd which is about 15 min walk, i had to walk past some builders with a white van and they said something to each other looked at me and laughed. It made me feel so small. They said something like "Another victim?" But then I was just in manchester city centre with my friend when a guy said to me 'hi gorgeous' when he walked past me, it was awkward we did that thing where we both stepped the same way at first so it was awkward, but I think he was kidding too. It happens so effing often I've decided I'm not bothered any more, and the more I walk the more weight I will lose, so I need to receive the abuse so that I can keep myself motivated, sounds silly but thats how I see it. Thanks everybody for posting on this thread..:)
I'm genuinely surprised, that's for sure. I can honestly say that since I was young enough to attract anyone's attention (which was about 40 years ago), I've never had anyone shout abuse at me on a random basis, and I've actually never heard it being done to anyone else. I can only assume that the OP lives in an extremely rough area, because it's certainly not a regular occurrence elsewhere.
You obviously have lived a very isolated life in the UK then! Ive had people shout abuse and know many others who have had it done as well. Some roads aroad here commonly have boy racers, hanging out of cars screaming abuse at pedestrians on a daily basis.
Speaking to others, it's very common throughout the UK.
This used to happen to me a lot when I was a teenager. I would get all manner of things, people shouting nasty things, pervy things and nice things, although once someone threw change at me which I wasn't happy about. My parents lived on a busy road with prostitutes on it so I always put it down to that, and honestly it's all stopped now. I think some people just do think it's funny to shout at young girls and really you shouldn't worry about what they say, they'll say anything!
You obviously have lived a very isolated life in the UK then!
I doubt it, I've lived in Glasgow and London. Obviously occasionally someone has shouted something at me, which I've either ignored or saluted in the usual manner, but it's not at all a regular occurrence, and neither my daughter nor any of her friends has ever mentioned it as being a problem.
Hannah;51567365']yep definitely. I'm not overweight cos i went to my doctor about it but i know I've gained at least a stone in the past year, so I know I'm not slim. But I didn't think I was so big that at least one person would always make a comment and notice me in the street. Like when I walked home from the hospital the other day which takes about 45 mins, someone shouted something out their car at me but I didn't hear what it was about but it always happens when I walk. And the other day in manchester 2 guys in their car slowed down and said heyy is that you doing exercise. It made me want to punch them, and there were women across the road who were about 45, slightly overweight wearing dresses showing all their cellulite and I was there really dressed down with no flesh showing yet I was the 1 who got the abuse. I must look like an alien or something. Just ranting
Hi Hannah, I understand were you are coming from with this one because I used to get the same. At school I was picked on for having 'tree trunk legs' and my friend who is skinny got 'you're so flat the walls are jealous' aimed at her. So actually, it can be aimed at anybody. It's annoying but you read in the paper of teenager committing suicide for one thing or another, for example just being the new kid somewhere and these can be really nice looking kids. It really is more about them and not you.
As you do get older, you will find that you are not 'noticed' - some of those nice skinny teenagers you probably wish you were like will have kids and get stretch marks, pendulous breasts, sun damage to skin and a belly. It will all even out.
Comments
It's not abuse but it can get very very very annoying if it is everyday. Having someone say you look lovely on a morning is nice, if they start to comment on you every morning it can get very very boring and annoying.
Yes, but in reality, how many people have that happen to then every day.
I used to have to walk through a very rough area from the bus stop to my home at one time and I always used to pull myself up to my full 5 foot 4 and stride along like I had somewhere really important to go - often with my keys in my hand in case someone did fancy having a go.
It's something you can practice every time you go out - stand upright, shoulder back, walk with purpose looking straight ahead and if some idiot calls out to you just ignore it and tell yourself that they are the one making a prat of themselves, not you.
Wakey wakey Dave!
You can be incredibly oversensitive on here, so I find your view a bit ironic
My daughter is stunningly beautiful - a real head-turner. She's slim, gorgeous figure, long dark hair and a classically beautiful face. When she was out in town (aged 18) a 40-50 year-old woman passer-by shouted "you ugly cow" and other even worse things at her for no reason at all!
Making a big leap there.
Unless you have any suggestions for changing society ?
How dare you! I'm going to go and cry into my pillow.:(:(
You can't help the way that other people act (as any partner in a long-term marriage will tell you). You can only do something about the way that YOU act. It's not a question of being at fault. Personally I'd like to just get rid of all the stupid people, but it's not going to happen, nor is it ever going to happen that every brain-dead moron who shouts sexist abuse at women is going to be banged up. So if it's possible to prevent said brain-dead morons from shouting abuse at you by changing your attitude and becoming more confident, why wouldn't you do it?
Trust me, when you get to my age, you're just grateful for the attention!!
Just don't take it personally, I mean its a bunch of ********s driving around shouting insults at people, are these really the sort people you give a rats ass about? Kind of like a tramp saying you had a bad haircut. Who cares?
Just the one is more than enough, isn't it? I find that after that it's just deja vu/Groundhog Day all over again. :yawn::D
So what about my SIL who has a disfigurement caused by a medical condition? This is no fault of her own and there is nothing she can do about it. No amount of walking tall will change things. Why should she be made to feel like a freak every time she is around strangers? Why can't she be accepted and treated normally?
The problem is not with the 'victim' but with society.
I'm guessing a few women if not most . It's happened to me several times that a guy has just taken set on you because of your looks and keeps chatting to you on your way to work or hovering for you when you are going about your normal commute. It is intrusive. If a woman doesn't stop to be chatted up after the first 3 or 4 times why continue?
I currenlty have one in the supermarket. Your browsing for X and he walks up to you and comments on how well you push your trolley or how lovely you look or who you are sharing your wine with. It's nice if it happens once but every time?
I hate to it but at time society sucks at times, at least you make sure you and your kids don't behave like yobs. If you really feel strongly about it then campaign about it.
nods in agreement
Good luck with the weight loss
You obviously have lived a very isolated life in the UK then! Ive had people shout abuse and know many others who have had it done as well. Some roads aroad here commonly have boy racers, hanging out of cars screaming abuse at pedestrians on a daily basis.
Speaking to others, it's very common throughout the UK.
PS: Can I borrow your rose tinted glasses?
I doubt it, I've lived in Glasgow and London. Obviously occasionally someone has shouted something at me, which I've either ignored or saluted in the usual manner, but it's not at all a regular occurrence, and neither my daughter nor any of her friends has ever mentioned it as being a problem.
Hi Hannah, I understand were you are coming from with this one because I used to get the same. At school I was picked on for having 'tree trunk legs' and my friend who is skinny got 'you're so flat the walls are jealous' aimed at her. So actually, it can be aimed at anybody. It's annoying but you read in the paper of teenager committing suicide for one thing or another, for example just being the new kid somewhere and these can be really nice looking kids. It really is more about them and not you.
As you do get older, you will find that you are not 'noticed' - some of those nice skinny teenagers you probably wish you were like will have kids and get stretch marks, pendulous breasts, sun damage to skin and a belly. It will all even out.