I still wouldn't say "I'll move in October". If for whatever reason you don't/can't, then I think that'd probably be the end of the relationship right there.
Tell him you'll move in when you're ready - mentally ready, but moreso practically ready too. If that happens to be October then so be it. If not, no huge deal as you wouldn't be going back on something you'd said (though maybe too late for that now?).
I see what you're saying in your reply, btw, but this is how I see it, and how I think your partner sees it...
You: "I'll move in with you in October"
...partner thinks "But why October? What is so special about October? You could get everything sorted in 2 weeks/a month/by August/September.......... So why October?"
...as well as
"when October comes, he'll be saying January".
It's not so much that you don't have genuine/valid reasons for wanting to "sort things out first" - that is smart and you have the right idea! The problem is, your boyfriend probably doesn't understand why sorting things out first will take anotherthree months on top of however long you've already been waiting/putting it off.
It's like saying I can't move in next week or the week after as I'm on holiday for a fortnight.... so I'll move in next March instead.
Your boyfriend, is, hopefully, understanding that you can't come out/find a job/move out of your mum's place/move in to his in the space of a day, or two, or three. He probably just doesn't understand what is so special about October. Whilst he understands you have things to sort out, in his mind, he does not understand why they will take a further three months to sort out. And I understand that, and his fear of October coming around and you putting it off even further.
Instead of saying, I want to move in, I will move in by *random obscure date some months away*, which sounds like you're just putting things off to a random month/time/date unnecessarily in the hope that it will never come, you should have said I'll move in when I am ready -- whenever that happens to be.
Essentially to your partner what you've done is said yeah I'll move in and then plucked a date out months later. Which probably doesn't fill him with confidence. What you really should have done is not picked a month/date/time/whatever and just said that yes you wanted to move in with him when you have everything else sorted first.
By giving him a date so far in to the future, he is sat there thinking "yeah, and October will never come...".
You aren't ready and he isn't respecting that, don't put yourself in a vulnerable position with someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart because once you make that move, it's not always easy to get out.
I think you should take some time to yourself without your controlling partner. I felt a bit of pity for him until you said about the TV thing, it sounds like he just wants someone to pay half the bills, could he be in financial difficulty?
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Tell him you'll move in when you're ready - mentally ready, but moreso practically ready too. If that happens to be October then so be it. If not, no huge deal as you wouldn't be going back on something you'd said (though maybe too late for that now?).
I see what you're saying in your reply, btw, but this is how I see it, and how I think your partner sees it...
You: "I'll move in with you in October"
...partner thinks "But why October? What is so special about October? You could get everything sorted in 2 weeks/a month/by August/September.......... So why October?"
...as well as
"when October comes, he'll be saying January".
It's not so much that you don't have genuine/valid reasons for wanting to "sort things out first" - that is smart and you have the right idea!
It's like saying I can't move in next week or the week after as I'm on holiday for a fortnight.... so I'll move in next March instead.
Your boyfriend, is, hopefully, understanding that you can't come out/find a job/move out of your mum's place/move in to his in the space of a day, or two, or three. He probably just doesn't understand what is so special about October. Whilst he understands you have things to sort out, in his mind, he does not understand why they will take a further three months to sort out. And I understand that, and his fear of October coming around and you putting it off even further.
Instead of saying, I want to move in, I will move in by *random obscure date some months away*, which sounds like you're just putting things off to a random month/time/date unnecessarily in the hope that it will never come, you should have said I'll move in when I am ready -- whenever that happens to be.
Essentially to your partner what you've done is said yeah I'll move in and then plucked a date out months later. Which probably doesn't fill him with confidence. What you really should have done is not picked a month/date/time/whatever and just said that yes you wanted to move in with him when you have everything else sorted first.
By giving him a date so far in to the future, he is sat there thinking "yeah, and October will never come...".
I think you should take some time to yourself without your controlling partner. I felt a bit of pity for him until you said about the TV thing, it sounds like he just wants someone to pay half the bills, could he be in financial difficulty?