Today's Dreary... does she really think we're that stupid ? Can't go to France because she's run out of holiday ? She's bloody SELF-EMPLOYED !!!
That is all.
As she bleatingly informs us, no less. It's So Awful being self-employed. Yes, yes it is. But if you are crap with money and you have an accountant, then it is surely that accountant's job to ensure you have enough money kept away from your cashmere-hungry fingers to pay the bills. It is also the accountant's job to work out ways and means by which you pay less tax than normal people, so if Madame is in the poo it's her accountant's fault as well as her own. (I have a friend whose bank cards reside with his accountant. If he wants to use them he has to go to the accountant and give a good enough reason to use them. This is to stop him spending every cent that comes in the door.He of course knows the PIN while the accountant does not.)
I am convinced that last week's Dreary was misfiled. You can't cry poverty angst, then costly dinner and boyfriend abuse, then poverty angst and boyfriend perfection in such rapid-cycling ways. Especially when your notion of poverty still seems to include money for holidays and pricey organic fruits to juice for Skype life coaching lessons.
Living on prosecco, coffee and adrenalin. How low has Liz fallen that she's indulging in hot drinks. I think her sister should write an expose of Liz' obvious alcoholism, also.
BTW "Grace Kelly stress wees": she has or had a dog called Grace Kelly that was prone to incontinence, I think.
(In 1950s BBC voice) "Ladies, when your husband suggests conjugal union, as distasteful as this may be, be comforted in the knowledge that as well as the prospect of a little bundle of joy in 9 months, you can take the opportunity to request that he does a little light house work in return for such unpleasantness. Use the time wisely to check for cobwebs on the bedroom lightfittings. Please ensure that you have turned the stove off beforehand as you do not want hubby's supper being spoiled. And now for the weather...'
(In 1950s BBC voice) "Ladies, when your husband suggests conjugal union, as distasteful as this may be, be comforted in the knowledge that as well as the prospect of a little bundle of joy in 9 months, you can take the opportunity to request that he does a little light house work in return for such unpleasantness. Use the time wisely to check for cobwebs on the bedroom lightfittings. Please ensure that you have turned the stove off beforehand as you do not want hubby's supper being spoiled. And now for the weather...'
That was exactly my reaction Seabird, it's straight out of the 50s.
Has it ever been revealed why the regular DM dropped her as a regular writer/fashion expert? - she used to have a string of articles through the week but now it is just the MOS dreary and usually a "right minds" ramble on some nonsense.
Did the DM have problems with advertisers for those Monday "fashion therapy" articles where she used to model the clothes herself - posing strangley after managing to pick a style that didn't suit her, in the wrong size, standing ike a sack of potatoes with a sad/stupid facial expression.
Did the DM have problems with advertisers for those Monday "fashion therapy" articles where she used to model the clothes herself - posing strangley after managing to pick a style that didn't suit her, in the wrong size, standing ike a sack of potatoes with a sad/stupid facial expression.
I think you have summed up the situation perfectly puffin1962! Liz is now probably the least prolific of the Mail's 'Glenda's' and has indeed been relegated to the MoS where clearly the Diary is never checked or edited. I think she may have tied the MoS into a contract that they can't get out of and are probably just counting the days until they are free of her. She claims to write 'millions of words a year' but thankfully we seem to have been spared them, perhaps she scrawls them on lavatory walls with a blunt crayon. She is of course 'writing a novel' which others have predicted will be a rip off of her beloved SATC except the leading character will of course be strikingly similar to Liz herself, though younger, more beautiful and more popular. Amazon will obviously crash with the demand once it's published.
In which I forget I am bankrupt again, label-drop and act hysterically over my hair.
You'd think if you'd been going out with someone for a year you'd have gotten used to the fact they are too blunt to be dishonest, which is actually a good thing.
I would about guarantee that if David said he didn't like her new haircut because her hair before was a silken waterfall of night-dark stormy glory, she'd have accused him of trying to stop her being fashionable, and pointed out that it needed cutting because it was frizzy and had split ends. And if he said he didn't notice the split ends she'd say he was deliberately ignoring her and living in a delusional world. And if he said her hair was always stunning no matter what she did to it, she'd fret that he was putting her on a pedestal and not really seeing the true, flawed, bankrupt Liz Jones.
You'd think she'd have mentioned the financial woes to a man she's desperate to propose, wouldn't you. Soulmate and all that.
It must be awful having to "work" at a party. I've been to work parties. They're not THAT difficult and you don't have to stay long.
In which I forget I am bankrupt again, label-drop and act hysterically over my hair.
You'd think if you'd been going out with someone for a year you'd have gotten used to the fact they are too blunt to be dishonest, which is actually a good thing.
I would about guarantee that if David said he didn't like her new haircut because her hair before was a silken waterfall of night-dark stormy glory, she'd have accused him of trying to stop her being fashionable, and pointed out that it needed cutting because it was frizzy and had split ends. And if he said he didn't notice the split ends she'd say he was deliberately ignoring her and living in a delusional world. And if he said her hair was always stunning no matter what she did to it, she'd fret that he was putting her on a pedestal and not really seeing the true, flawed, bankrupt Liz Jones.
You'd think she'd have mentioned the financial woes to a man she's desperate to propose, wouldn't you. Soulmate and all that.
It must be awful having to "work" at a party. I've been to work parties. They're not THAT difficult and you don't have to stay long.
Also... You'd think that she might have asked him about his bad day at work, mentioned in one of those random asides, rather than taking (extremely childish) umbrage about split ends and squawking about the lack of green veg in the frittata.
PS: today's other farticle is a corker. While reading, keep repeating this to yourself:
"She's too deaf to hear on a phone... she's too deaf to hear on a phone".
Or so she's told us. Also, having moved at least twice before, you'd think she knew the drill by now. Ah, no, of course... then there'd be no article. Silly me.
It must be awful having to "work" at a party. I've been to work parties. They're not THAT difficult and you don't have to stay long.
Her working day also includes getting her hair cut, being waxed and picking up that bloody Burberry suit she never shuts up about. These things followed by a party don't constitute work in my world.
But what would I know? My work involves trivial stuff like attending emergency Child Protection meetings, nothing as vital as writing rambling diaries for stupid amounts of money. I really should leave her scribbling alone - it's not doing my blood pressure any good. But it's like when you've got toothache and you keep poking it with your tongue to see if it still hurts.
PS: today's other farticle is a corker. While reading, keep repeating this to yourself:
"She's too deaf to hear on a phone... she's too deaf to hear on a phone".
Or so she's told us. Also, having moved at least twice before, you'd think she knew the drill by now. Ah, no, of course... then there'd be no article. Silly me.
I've never known anyone have so many issues with utility companies. Ever. So either she's a compete pain in the arse to deal with with her massive sense of entitlement (why should she give notice like the little people do) or she makes it up for copy. I suspect that referring to call centre staff as "morons" and "cabbages" won't exactly endear her to them next time she has a problem.
What a load of childish drivel in today's Dreary. You would think it had been written by a petulant teenager rather than by a woman of mature years. She needs to grow up.
I notice there was no mention today of worrying about being made bankrupt. Perhaps her previous mention of this was to elicit sympathy from readers. She spends her money on unnecessary fripperies and then wonders where the money has gone.
What a load of childish drivel in today's Dreary. You would think it had been written by a petulant teenager rather than by a woman of mature years. She needs to grow up.
I notice there was no mention today of worrying about being made bankrupt. Perhaps her previous mention of this was to elicit sympathy from readers. She spends her money on unnecessary fripperies and then wonders where the money has gone.
Indeed - I'm sure every potential bankruptee can afford to have a wax and a haircut at Urban Retreat Spa....
First of all I have to apologise for a couple of previous posts slating the Liz haters for being, well Liz haters 'cos I couldnt see why, as I (used) to enjoy her column in You magazine, in fact it was the first page I turned to.
Well, let me just say that the last few articles have made me see this very weird woman for the bad journalist that she is.
First of all I have to apologise for a couple of previous posts slating the Liz haters for being, well Liz haters 'cos I couldnt see why, as I (used) to enjoy her column in You magazine, in fact it was the first page I turned to.
Well, let me just say that the last few articles have made me see this very weird woman for the bad journalist that she is.
I'd imagine that any sentient being living within a mile of the woman would be in danger of developing such a condition.
So sad to hear about her split-ends this week, perhaps she should consider Garnier-Fructis... but to be honest I think that she should be more tonsorially concerned about her receding hairline that gives rise to that scary parting.
If I'd been the baker, I'd have taken the bloody avocado, applied plenty of mustard to it and shoved it into her freshly waxed frittata.
Apart from being relieved that Liz doesn't have my mobile number to text me as well as everyone else about David's callous agreement that she needed to have a light trim, the only thing of interest, not to Liz obviously, was the cryptic remark:
'He was tired, too, having had some sort of row at his kitchen.'
So she didn't bother to ask the great love of her life what the row had been about, or who the row was with? Is Mr 5% finally testing the patience of his work colleagues with this weekly soap opera?
Apart from being relieved that Liz doesn't have my mobile number to text me as well as everyone else about David's callous agreement that she needed to have a light trim, the only thing of interest, not to Liz obviously, was the cryptic remark:
'He was tired, too, having had some sort of row at his kitchen.'
So she didn't bother to ask the great love of her life what the row had been about, or who the row was with? Is Mr 5% finally testing the patience of his work colleagues with this weekly soap opera?
I was also wondering if the row concerned his ongoing relationship with a harridan who persists in ridiculing him in the national press every week....
I was also wondering if the row concerned his ongoing relationship with a harridan who persists in ridiculing him in the national press every week....
Exactly, but he deserves no sympathy as he clearly signed up for this (he admitted to contacting her to get publicity for HIS bakery). What he has done is damaged the company's reputation as genuine customers doing a Google search of the company will also see links to the unpleasant side-show now associated with it. Thanks to Liz David's alleged lack of hygeine, playing Russian roulette with produce that could make him severely sick, and lack of guilt over the humilation he has brought on his ex-girlfriend and those he works with is there for all to see. One day he may be able to demand the 'right to be forgotten' but you cannot erase what people have already read.
Exactly, but he deserves no sympathy as he clearly signed up for this (he admitted to contacting her to get publicity for HIS bakery).
There's something so creepy about that. I mean if you take Liz's columns at face value, here the old bat is mooning about her One True Love David Scrace Who Spurned Me for years and years, quite openly, and he makes contact for publicity knowing she's almost certainly still holding a candle. And then starts going out with her. It's so cynical and obvious and gross.
I don't like the Liz presented in the columns or the farticles, but I don't really think anybody deserves to be played like that. Mind you he's paying for it, and not in gold Dunhill lighters, Apple products and Burberry suits for his tiny body that is so unique that even the centuries of tailoring expertise on Savile Row can't work around it.
Comments
As she bleatingly informs us, no less. It's So Awful being self-employed. Yes, yes it is. But if you are crap with money and you have an accountant, then it is surely that accountant's job to ensure you have enough money kept away from your cashmere-hungry fingers to pay the bills. It is also the accountant's job to work out ways and means by which you pay less tax than normal people, so if Madame is in the poo it's her accountant's fault as well as her own. (I have a friend whose bank cards reside with his accountant. If he wants to use them he has to go to the accountant and give a good enough reason to use them. This is to stop him spending every cent that comes in the door.He of course knows the PIN while the accountant does not.)
I am convinced that last week's Dreary was misfiled. You can't cry poverty angst, then costly dinner and boyfriend abuse, then poverty angst and boyfriend perfection in such rapid-cycling ways. Especially when your notion of poverty still seems to include money for holidays and pricey organic fruits to juice for Skype life coaching lessons.
Living on prosecco, coffee and adrenalin. How low has Liz fallen that she's indulging in hot drinks. I think her sister should write an expose of Liz' obvious alcoholism, also.
BTW "Grace Kelly stress wees": she has or had a dog called Grace Kelly that was prone to incontinence, I think.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2714432/LIZ-JONES-Listen-men-dusting-NOT-key-hanky-panky.html
(In 1950s BBC voice) "Ladies, when your husband suggests conjugal union, as distasteful as this may be, be comforted in the knowledge that as well as the prospect of a little bundle of joy in 9 months, you can take the opportunity to request that he does a little light house work in return for such unpleasantness. Use the time wisely to check for cobwebs on the bedroom lightfittings. Please ensure that you have turned the stove off beforehand as you do not want hubby's supper being spoiled. And now for the weather...'
That was exactly my reaction Seabird, it's straight out of the 50s.
Did the DM have problems with advertisers for those Monday "fashion therapy" articles where she used to model the clothes herself - posing strangley after managing to pick a style that didn't suit her, in the wrong size, standing ike a sack of potatoes with a sad/stupid facial expression.
You'd think if you'd been going out with someone for a year you'd have gotten used to the fact they are too blunt to be dishonest, which is actually a good thing.
I would about guarantee that if David said he didn't like her new haircut because her hair before was a silken waterfall of night-dark stormy glory, she'd have accused him of trying to stop her being fashionable, and pointed out that it needed cutting because it was frizzy and had split ends. And if he said he didn't notice the split ends she'd say he was deliberately ignoring her and living in a delusional world. And if he said her hair was always stunning no matter what she did to it, she'd fret that he was putting her on a pedestal and not really seeing the true, flawed, bankrupt Liz Jones.
You'd think she'd have mentioned the financial woes to a man she's desperate to propose, wouldn't you. Soulmate and all that.
It must be awful having to "work" at a party. I've been to work parties. They're not THAT difficult and you don't have to stay long.
Also... You'd think that she might have asked him about his bad day at work, mentioned in one of those random asides, rather than taking (extremely childish) umbrage about split ends and squawking about the lack of green veg in the frittata.
Ladies & gentlemen... friends... I implore you one and all to join me in a rousing rendition of that splendid old chestnut "Pot, Kettle and Black" !
Eyethangyow.
"She's too deaf to hear on a phone... she's too deaf to hear on a phone".
Or so she's told us. Also, having moved at least twice before, you'd think she knew the drill by now. Ah, no, of course... then there'd be no article. Silly me.
Her working day also includes getting her hair cut, being waxed and picking up that bloody Burberry suit she never shuts up about. These things followed by a party don't constitute work in my world.
But what would I know? My work involves trivial stuff like attending emergency Child Protection meetings, nothing as vital as writing rambling diaries for stupid amounts of money. I really should leave her scribbling alone - it's not doing my blood pressure any good. But it's like when you've got toothache and you keep poking it with your tongue to see if it still hurts.
And worried about split ends when she's going bankrupt?
I give up.
I've never known anyone have so many issues with utility companies. Ever. So either she's a compete pain in the arse to deal with with her massive sense of entitlement (why should she give notice like the little people do) or she makes it up for copy. I suspect that referring to call centre staff as "morons" and "cabbages" won't exactly endear her to them next time she has a problem.
I notice there was no mention today of worrying about being made bankrupt. Perhaps her previous mention of this was to elicit sympathy from readers. She spends her money on unnecessary fripperies and then wonders where the money has gone.
Indeed - I'm sure every potential bankruptee can afford to have a wax and a haircut at Urban Retreat Spa....
First of all I have to apologise for a couple of previous posts slating the Liz haters for being, well Liz haters 'cos I couldnt see why, as I (used) to enjoy her column in You magazine, in fact it was the first page I turned to.
Well, let me just say that the last few articles have made me see this very weird woman for the bad journalist that she is.
Another convert to the Liz haters.
Welcome to the dark side
I'd imagine that any sentient being living within a mile of the woman would be in danger of developing such a condition.
So sad to hear about her split-ends this week, perhaps she should consider Garnier-Fructis... but to be honest I think that she should be more tonsorially concerned about her receding hairline that gives rise to that scary parting.
If I'd been the baker, I'd have taken the bloody avocado, applied plenty of mustard to it and shoved it into her freshly waxed frittata.
'He was tired, too, having had some sort of row at his kitchen.'
So she didn't bother to ask the great love of her life what the row had been about, or who the row was with? Is Mr 5% finally testing the patience of his work colleagues with this weekly soap opera?
I was also wondering if the row concerned his ongoing relationship with a harridan who persists in ridiculing him in the national press every week....
Exactly, but he deserves no sympathy as he clearly signed up for this (he admitted to contacting her to get publicity for HIS bakery). What he has done is damaged the company's reputation as genuine customers doing a Google search of the company will also see links to the unpleasant side-show now associated with it. Thanks to Liz David's alleged lack of hygeine, playing Russian roulette with produce that could make him severely sick, and lack of guilt over the humilation he has brought on his ex-girlfriend and those he works with is there for all to see. One day he may be able to demand the 'right to be forgotten' but you cannot erase what people have already read.
There's something so creepy about that. I mean if you take Liz's columns at face value, here the old bat is mooning about her One True Love David Scrace Who Spurned Me for years and years, quite openly, and he makes contact for publicity knowing she's almost certainly still holding a candle. And then starts going out with her. It's so cynical and obvious and gross.
I don't like the Liz presented in the columns or the farticles, but I don't really think anybody deserves to be played like that. Mind you he's paying for it, and not in gold Dunhill lighters, Apple products and Burberry suits for his tiny body that is so unique that even the centuries of tailoring expertise on Savile Row can't work around it.