The dinners I attempt go for a Burton,
I cannot bake a pie or scramble eggs
And even with a blender I am certain
The soup would turn into disgusting dregs.
I haven't got a wife to conjure sauces,
I haven't got a girl to stir soufflés,
Which means I'm left to my own weak resources;
The microwave and local take-aways.
Thank god I don't eat meat, what use is mustard
On steak tough as old boots and overdone?
The very thought of stuffing gets me flustered,
I'd rather munch a sticky currant bun.
A TV dinner on a comfy settee
Is better than the mess from pans I scoop,
Delightful meals like pasta and spaghetti
Resemble steaming piles of orange gloop.
The kitchen I have always failed to govern;
Potatoes in their jackets end up duds,
When I left two on all night in the oven
Black hand grenades came out instead of spuds.
And Christmas pudding hopes were sadly thwarted,
I cooked it right, I didn't use a wok
But then the spoon I stuck in it distorted,
The thing was like a bloody concrete block.
The taste of runner beans I tend to stifle,
Where's Delia? I need some urgent tips,
I've murdered every noodle, cake and trifle;
From now on I'll be buying fish and chips.
Thank you for alerting me to this
Most amusing and I'm glad I didn't miss
Much as I'm now tempted to take the p***
I'll send a twass fish pie along with a kiss :kitty:^_^
What a terrific thread! I didn't know this existed. Wow! A place for those who like to write and read poetry! May I indulge you with a poem I wrote regarding the troubles in Israel? It is a subject I have been very worried about.
THE SECOND COMING
What we need is a miracle
To lead us through the fight.
A gentle, spiritual breeze
A glowing eternal light.
The Holy Land is crumbling,
The walls are falling down.
Despair, anxiety and insular fear
Lingers in every town.
The man who led disciples
Has died and long since gone.
His teachings and soothing sentences
Will ultimately live on.
But he left His world in turmoil,
He has raised an angry war.
Things seem more unsettled
Than they ever were before.
So when we seek the miracle,
Will we recognise the man?
Will we follow a Messiah
Into the Holy Land?
Will He lead us into paradise?
Or will He urge us to stand and pray?
Will He bring hope and joy
Into the gloomiest of day?
Will the world continue spinning
To bring youth to a dying head?
Or will we find the apocalypse
Waiting there instead?
When the man comes to save us
Will our salvation be the sword?
Or will we learn to seek world peace
All of our own accord?
Will we discover the truth that is staring
In our faces apparent and bold?
Will we discover a humble stone
Is a chalice made of gold?
Will we take our neighbour by the hand
And embrace him with our love?
Will there ever be a miracle
That comes from up above?
So, do we need a second coming?
Or are our problems our own affair?
Will we pick up the debris
We dispose of everywhere?
Can we all be trusted
To make our world a better place?
Do we need a new Messiah
To come from outer space?
What we need is a miracle
For mankind to mend its ways.
'Else the Holy Land is finished,
It will be its final days.
What a terrific thread! I didn't know this existed. Wow! A place for those who like to write and read poetry! May I indulge you with a poem I wrote regarding the troubles in Israel? It is a subject I have been very worried about.
THE SECOND COMING
What we need is a miracle
To lead us through the fight.
A gentle, spiritual breeze
A glowing eternal light.
The Holy Land is crumbling,
The walls are falling down.
Despair, anxiety and insular fear
Lingers in every town.
The man who led disciples
Has died and long since gone.
His teachings and soothing sentences
Will ultimately live on.
But he left His world in turmoil,
He has raised an angry war.
Things seem more unsettled
Than they ever were before.
So when we seek the miracle,
Will we recognise the man?
Will we follow a Messiah
Into the Holy Land?
Will He lead us into paradise?
Or will He urge us to stand and pray?
Will He bring hope and joy
Into the gloomiest of day?
Will the world continue spinning
To bring youth to a dying head?
Or will we find the apocalypse
Waiting there instead?
When the man comes to save us
Will our salvation be the sword?
Or will we learn to seek world peace
All of our own accord?
Will we discover the truth that is staring
In our faces apparent and bold?
Will we discover a humble stone
Is a chalice made of gold?
Will we take our neighbour by the hand
And embrace him with our love?
Will there ever be a miracle
That comes from up above?
So, do we need a second coming?
Or are our problems our own affair?
Will we pick up the debris
We dispose of everywhere?
Can we all be trusted
To make our world a better place?
Do we need a new Messiah
To come from outer space?
What we need is a miracle
For mankind to mend its ways.
'Else the Holy Land is finished,
It will be its final days.
What a terrific thread! I didn't know this existed. Wow! A place for those who like to write and read poetry! May I indulge you with a poem I wrote regarding the troubles in Israel? It is a subject I have been very worried about.
THE SECOND COMING
What we need is a miracle
To lead us through the fight.
A gentle, spiritual breeze
A glowing eternal light.
The Holy Land is crumbling,
The walls are falling down.
Despair, anxiety and insular fear
Lingers in every town.
The man who led disciples
Has died and long since gone.
His teachings and soothing sentences
Will ultimately live on.
But he left His world in turmoil,
He has raised an angry war.
Things seem more unsettled
Than they ever were before.
So when we seek the miracle,
Will we recognise the man?
Will we follow a Messiah
Into the Holy Land?
Will He lead us into paradise?
Or will He urge us to stand and pray?
Will He bring hope and joy
Into the gloomiest of day?
Will the world continue spinning
To bring youth to a dying head?
Or will we find the apocalypse
Waiting there instead?
When the man comes to save us
Will our salvation be the sword?
Or will we learn to seek world peace
All of our own accord?
Will we discover the truth that is staring
In our faces apparent and bold?
Will we discover a humble stone
Is a chalice made of gold?
Will we take our neighbour by the hand
And embrace him with our love?
Will there ever be a miracle
That comes from up above?
So, do we need a second coming?
Or are our problems our own affair?
Will we pick up the debris
We dispose of everywhere?
Can we all be trusted
To make our world a better place?
Do we need a new Messiah
To come from outer space?
What we need is a miracle
For mankind to mend its ways.
'Else the Holy Land is finished,
It will be its final days.
(c)
Thats really good its very concerning. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Its often suggested on this forum and the general consensus is that it would be a bad idea. A lot of people seem dead against the idea, claiming it would turn the site into a Facebook type clone and so on. I'd be perfectly happy to have a 'like' or 'thanks' feature personally but, each to their own.
Thats really good its very concerning. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Its often suggested on this forum and the general consensus is that it would be a bad idea. A lot of people seem dead against the idea, claiming it would turn the site into a Facebook type clone and so on. I'd be perfectly happy to have a 'like' or 'thanks' feature personally but, each to their own.
Yes, I'd say its for both
Thank you for your kind words, and to Benjamini too. ;-)
A marvellous questioning piece Izzy To quote Morrissey - 'Sleep is the brother of death'. It's always fascinated me, especially dreams. I've written a couple of poems on the subject myself, including The Citadel of Sleep.
You guys are all so very very talented! Here's a poem I wrote after I felt anger at the arrogance of bankers and their attitudes towards bonuses:
MORE
I am a banker, I love making cash,
I live in a house that's too big!
I have a special account inwhich to deposit my stash,
A fan of gluttony, I eat like a pig!
I am a banker, I think highly of ME!
I care not for those without.
I notice the riff-raff but never see
The homeless and poor about.
I am a banker, I am incredibly rich,
I have four very expensive cars.
I hear there are people without a stitch
To wear and live out under the stars.
But they're not my problem, they're a disgrace.
They should go out and get a job.
We don't want them sorts all over the place,
For them, I've no time to sob.
I am a banker, I'm important and grand,
I have champagne on ice for my tea.
I have fifteen acres of very dear land,
Only the best for me!
I am a banker, I'm sick of the poor,
What do they want from me?
The government SHOULD NOT give them anymore,
They should drown them all at sea.
I am a banker, in my million pound home
With five rooms going spare.
So what if the homeless roam?
Why should I bloody care?
I am a banker, I'm fabulously good!
It's me that I adore.
It is the time of year that I should
Get a bonus to give me much more!
I am a banker, a misunderstood chap,
This country needs me that's for sure!
I don't believe in the bonus cap
Because I should be entitled to MORE!
The Best Thing about being dead is that you no longer have to say, “I wish I were dead”
The Best Thing about being alive is that you can still say, “I wish I were dead”
•→ ‘Bread & Butter’
Bread is a word - Butter is a word
You cannot place them together:
it is “bread and butter”, or “butter on bread”.
Yet, if you search between the bread and the butter
you will find neither “and“ nor “on“
Just butter – Just bread.
The Best Thing about being dead is that you no longer have to say, “I wish I were dead”
The Best Thing about being alive is that you can still say, “I wish I were dead”
•→ ‘Bread & Butter’
Bread is a word - Butter is a word
You cannot place them together:
it is “bread and butter”, or “butter on bread”.
Yet, if you search between the bread and the butter
you will find neither “and“ nor “on“
Just butter – Just bread.
Is this thread for people who compose or an appreciation of poetry or favourite poets ? Sorry don't know the protocol here?
It can be for either, as confirmed above. We're not allowed to post material by living poets, trolls got that particular pleasure stopped by reporting the thread. Luckily, the old place has carried on with mainly self-written poetry
Comments
Thank you for alerting me to this
Most amusing and I'm glad I didn't miss
Much as I'm now tempted to take the p***
I'll send a twass fish pie along with a kiss :kitty:^_^
THE SECOND COMING
What we need is a miracle
To lead us through the fight.
A gentle, spiritual breeze
A glowing eternal light.
The Holy Land is crumbling,
The walls are falling down.
Despair, anxiety and insular fear
Lingers in every town.
The man who led disciples
Has died and long since gone.
His teachings and soothing sentences
Will ultimately live on.
But he left His world in turmoil,
He has raised an angry war.
Things seem more unsettled
Than they ever were before.
So when we seek the miracle,
Will we recognise the man?
Will we follow a Messiah
Into the Holy Land?
Will He lead us into paradise?
Or will He urge us to stand and pray?
Will He bring hope and joy
Into the gloomiest of day?
Will the world continue spinning
To bring youth to a dying head?
Or will we find the apocalypse
Waiting there instead?
When the man comes to save us
Will our salvation be the sword?
Or will we learn to seek world peace
All of our own accord?
Will we discover the truth that is staring
In our faces apparent and bold?
Will we discover a humble stone
Is a chalice made of gold?
Will we take our neighbour by the hand
And embrace him with our love?
Will there ever be a miracle
That comes from up above?
So, do we need a second coming?
Or are our problems our own affair?
Will we pick up the debris
We dispose of everywhere?
Can we all be trusted
To make our world a better place?
Do we need a new Messiah
To come from outer space?
What we need is a miracle
For mankind to mend its ways.
'Else the Holy Land is finished,
It will be its final days.
(c)
A like button would be good.
Feel like a turd, caked in mould
I've 'ad a moan
To the delighted Ms Vosne
Piss aff, ya ****..... that's me told....
I think it's for both.
Thats really good
Its often suggested on this forum and the general consensus is that it would be a bad idea. A lot of people seem dead against the idea, claiming it would turn the site into a Facebook type clone and so on. I'd be perfectly happy to have a 'like' or 'thanks' feature personally but, each to their own.
Yes, I'd say its for both
Thank you for your kind words, and to Benjamini too. ;-)
I just saw this - thanks
MORE
I am a banker, I love making cash,
I live in a house that's too big!
I have a special account inwhich to deposit my stash,
A fan of gluttony, I eat like a pig!
I am a banker, I think highly of ME!
I care not for those without.
I notice the riff-raff but never see
The homeless and poor about.
I am a banker, I am incredibly rich,
I have four very expensive cars.
I hear there are people without a stitch
To wear and live out under the stars.
But they're not my problem, they're a disgrace.
They should go out and get a job.
We don't want them sorts all over the place,
For them, I've no time to sob.
I am a banker, I'm important and grand,
I have champagne on ice for my tea.
I have fifteen acres of very dear land,
Only the best for me!
I am a banker, I'm sick of the poor,
What do they want from me?
The government SHOULD NOT give them anymore,
They should drown them all at sea.
I am a banker, in my million pound home
With five rooms going spare.
So what if the homeless roam?
Why should I bloody care?
I am a banker, I'm fabulously good!
It's me that I adore.
It is the time of year that I should
Get a bonus to give me much more!
I am a banker, a misunderstood chap,
This country needs me that's for sure!
I don't believe in the bonus cap
Because I should be entitled to MORE!
Your very welcome
The Best Thing about being dead is that you no longer have to say, “I wish I were dead”
The Best Thing about being alive is that you can still say, “I wish I were dead”
•→ ‘Bread & Butter’
Bread is a word - Butter is a word
You cannot place them together:
it is “bread and butter”, or “butter on bread”.
Yet, if you search between the bread and the butter
you will find neither “and“ nor “on“
Just butter – Just bread.
He never fails to make me smile.
Yes, some superb quotations there!
Welcome to the thread Wizzy - I'm glad you found it and any further material you have would be very welcome
X2AD,
Man-made lady,
Asimov would grin,
Science burnished,
Tooled and furnished
Female clones for sin.
Pussy Galore
Lingers no more,
Stepford Wives are dead,
But with X2
I am next to
Ecstacy in bed.
Both robotic
And erotic,
Replicas don't make
Scenes or trouble,
Choose a double,
Buy the perfect fake.
Some you'll see as
Cameron Diaz,
But I've got the hots
For Jane Fonda,
Young and blonder,
Like Naomi Watts.
Here my android
Fills the bland void,
X2AD's on
Constant duty,
Plastic beauty,
Sweet automaton.
©
Haha, that's brilliant.
Nice one Wizzy
Very racy! oh my ^_^
I'll try to post them some time Izzy