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Someone has just knocked on my door offering sex

ThomasxThomasx Posts: 105
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in General Discussion #1
I have just fell out of bed in a rush for the door.

Open the door and a lady in her thirties appears in my door way with very little clothes on.

She said that she worked for 'Shades Sex Offerings' and that the company had been informed I wanted sex. :eek:

I told her that she must of gotten the wrong house, but she insisted that it was me she was after.

She had a bag of tricks and halfway barged her way in before I told her to go some place else.

I am in a state of shock. Has anyone else had this ever happen to them ? :o
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Comments

  • adopteradopter Posts: 11,937
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    #2
    No she didn't.
  • chattamanukchattamanuk Posts: 3,397
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    #3
    Thomasx wrote: »
    I have just fell out of bed in a rush for the door.

    Open the door and a lady in her thirties appears in my door way with very little clothes on.

    She said that she worked for 'Shades Sex Offerings' and that the company had been informed I wanted sex. :eek:

    I told her that she must of gotten the wrong house, but she insisted that it was me she was after.

    She had a bag of tricks and halfway barged her way in before I told her to go some place else.

    I am in a state of shock. Has anyone else had this ever happen to them ? :o

    No, but if she's still about, tell her my address is .....
  • SciolistSciolist Posts: 435
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    #4
    peerhaps person wants to rob you
  • U96U96 Posts: 13,937
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    #5
    :D Best laugh i've had all day.I'd have let her in then negotiated a discount.
  • Sun_BeamSun_Beam Posts: 11,600
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    #6
    It's your lucky night, OP - especially as she'd come equipped with her 'bag of tricks'! ;)

    Nope, can honestly say I've never had that happen - would certainly brighten up my day, and it would be interesting to see my face and reaction if I had, though! :D
  • LeeahLeeah Posts: 20,239
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    #7
    ;);););)
  • Sleepy HollowSleepy Hollow Posts: 599
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    #8
    Thomasx wrote: »
    I have just fell out of bed in a rush for the door.

    Open the door and a lady in her thirties appears in my door way with very little clothes on.

    She said that she worked for 'Shades Sex Offerings' and that the company had been informed I wanted sex. :eek:

    I told her that she must of gotten the wrong house, but she insisted that it was me she was after.

    She had a bag of tricks and halfway barged her way in before I told her to go some place else.

    I am in a state of shock. Has anyone else had this ever happen to them ? :o

    I've just Googled that.:D
  • mad_dudemad_dude Posts: 10,670
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    #9
    I have just fell out of bed in a rush for the door.

    Open the door and a lady in her thirties appears in my door way with very little clothes on.

    She said that she worked for 'Shades Sex Offerings' and that the company had been informed I wanted sex.

    I told her that she must of gotten the wrong house, but she insisted that it was me she was after.

    She had a bag of tricks and halfway barged her way in before I told her to go some place else.

    I am in a state of shock. Has anyone else had this ever happen to them ?

    Should have asked did the customer pay in advance.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,939
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    #10
    You were still asleep. You were actually rude to a Jehova's Witness.
  • MAWMAW Posts: 38,777
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    #11
    She had a bag of tricks and halfway barged her way in
    Next time, keep your trousers up, and do not, under any circumstances, bend over. Did she turn it on, or just get a few inches up there?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,562
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    #12
    Thomasx wrote: »
    I have just fell out of bed in a rush for the door.

    Open the door and a lady in her thirties appears in my door way with very little clothes on.

    She said that she worked for 'Shades Sex Offerings' and that the company had been informed I wanted sex. :eek:

    I told her that she must of gotten the wrong house, but she insisted that it was me she was after.

    She had a bag of tricks and halfway barged her way in before I told her to go some place else.

    I am in a state of shock. Has anyone else had this ever happen to them ? :o

    :eek::eek::D
  • U96U96 Posts: 13,937
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    #13
    :D Are you sure she wasn't trying to sell you some shitey Shades Blinds?.
  • ThomasxThomasx Posts: 105
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    #14
    chattamanuk wrote: »
    No, but if she's still about, tell her my address is .....

    She can your address, she's a minger. Why they even bothered employing her I don't know. My shitty knickers look better than her.
    U96 wrote: »
    :D Best laugh i've had all day.I'd have let her in then negotiated a discount.

    She wasn't worth a discount. TRUST ME :eek:

    **

    She has only gone across the road offering the same deal. They have just phoned me. I think I might ring the police.:eek:
  • misslibertinemisslibertine Posts: 14,306
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    #15
    Have you pissed someone off?

    Because sending someone round to your house with a "bag of tricks" is an age-old revenge tactic.
  • solarflaresolarflare Posts: 22,378
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    #16
    Is this a long-winded way of suggesting you hired a prostitute?
  • cosmocosmo Posts: 26,840
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    #17
    Those bloody Jehovahs Witnesses will try anything to get in.
  • SigurdSigurd Posts: 26,610
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    #18
    Thomas, you do talk some nonsense.
  • Sun_BeamSun_Beam Posts: 11,600
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    #19
    Originally posted by Sleepy Hollow
    I've just Googled that. :D

    Someone HAD to! :p So, tell us more!

    Loving the replies in this thread - nice to have something light-harted on a boring Sunday! :D
  • U96U96 Posts: 13,937
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    #20
    solarflare wrote: »
    Is this a long-winded way of suggesting you hired a prostitute?

    :D Yeah,you'd better watch.Her pimp/minder will be sitting outside in his car.Not that i would know about such things,purely hearsay.;)
  • ThomasxThomasx Posts: 105
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    #21
    Lucky_drawes wrote: »
    You were still asleep. You were actually rude to a Jehova's Witness.

    What's a Jehova's witness ? :o
    MAW wrote: »
    Next time, keep your trousers up, and do not, under any circumstances, bend over. Did she turn it on, or just get a few inches up there?

    she didn't even get the chance mate.
  • Sleepy HollowSleepy Hollow Posts: 599
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    #22
    Sun_Beam wrote: »
    Someone HAD to! :p So, tell us more!

    Loving the replies in this thread - nice to have something light-harted on a boring Sunday! :D

    I came up with this. :D

    http://www.bhs.umn.edu/SHADE/

    Hey op i heard it was 'knob a job' week.:D
  • U96U96 Posts: 13,937
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    #23
    cosmo wrote: »
    Those bloody Jehovahs Witnesses will try anything to get in.

    :D I once answered the door to one.It was 8 o'clock on a Saturday night and i was totally wrecked.She was the fittest(Scottish) JW i've ever set eyes on.For once,i think she was happy to be told 'no thanks'.She looked frightened.:D
  • Sun_BeamSun_Beam Posts: 11,600
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    #24
    Hmm... seeing as I share this laptop with my dad, I dont wanna be clicking on links to offerings of sex! :eek: :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 457
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    #25
    Wondered where our lass went to.....she only went for some milk!

    You should've asked if you could try before you buy.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,939
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    #26
    Thomasx wrote: »
    What's a Jehova's witness ? :o



    she didn't even get the chance mate.

    I drop my 'h'
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