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Women out alone
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I think that its really quite sad in a way that women may have to modify their behaviour due to a perceived threat of being 'attacked' or 'harassed'. When I say modify I mean that they are not enjoying what many men take for granted.
For instance near where I work is some very picturesque woodland slopes. In the Spring it is a mass of bluebells and there are small wild animals that come close like squirrels and birds. I think its magic and I quite often see blokes sitting on a bench or just on the grass eating lunch or photographing the flowers yet NEVER a solo woman. I sometimes show photos I take there to my female colleagues and whilst they are enthusiastic about somewhere so nice being close they never dare venture out - even though it is quite safe - because of the fear of attack or just general unease.
Same for walking in the dark, taking solo country walks, solo photography - things I see lone men doing regularly and enjoying yet hardly ever women. I would guess 1 to 10 ratio if not more.
I think that this is quite sad and I don't know if women felt safe at all times they would do these things or not? So women, do you not do things you might like to because of this or do you not want to in the first place?
As a bloke (pretty weedy) I don't like to have the vague possibility of attack spoil my life so I do things anyway - even if I feel a little scared. So what is your thoughts on this?
For instance near where I work is some very picturesque woodland slopes. In the Spring it is a mass of bluebells and there are small wild animals that come close like squirrels and birds. I think its magic and I quite often see blokes sitting on a bench or just on the grass eating lunch or photographing the flowers yet NEVER a solo woman. I sometimes show photos I take there to my female colleagues and whilst they are enthusiastic about somewhere so nice being close they never dare venture out - even though it is quite safe - because of the fear of attack or just general unease.
Same for walking in the dark, taking solo country walks, solo photography - things I see lone men doing regularly and enjoying yet hardly ever women. I would guess 1 to 10 ratio if not more.
I think that this is quite sad and I don't know if women felt safe at all times they would do these things or not? So women, do you not do things you might like to because of this or do you not want to in the first place?
As a bloke (pretty weedy) I don't like to have the vague possibility of attack spoil my life so I do things anyway - even if I feel a little scared. So what is your thoughts on this?
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I have genuinely never not gone somewhere through fear of being attacked (well excluding Syria or Libya but you know what I mean!). I have also never been attacked. I do think the fear of attack is the most restrictive thing. I don't really know what we can do about that though.
I worry far more about my OH, a strapping man well over 6ft that can attract stupid men, looking for a fight... More fool them though, his 20 years + of martial arts does ease my mind a little.
The only times I've taken precautions, as such, is overseas, India etc, it's one thing on your home turf, another in a country with different cultures.
When I am out alone I sometimes get blokes coming across and chatting (may be on a country walk) and it is a good way to meet people - I have met a Harley Street doctor, a famous photographer and even a TV actor when out in the country but only rarely a woman out 'just walking' let alone wanting to chat. I still feel we have a way to go and I am not sure if we will ever get there sadly.
that`s me. if i go somewhere to take photographs i always have a mind for it, i generally avoid free conservation areas because [locally] quite a few are known prowling grounds and attacks [minor, major, flashing, all the same to me] are reported too often for comfort. if i do go anywhere isolated alone - apart from the odd place that i know well i mean - then i never fully relax. and if i approach any of my regular places to find a lone male there i almost always retreat. it shouldn`t be that way but what do you do?
edit:
i should add that probably in common with most other women i have encountered "weirdos" when out alone in these circumstances and been followed, chased and hassled for a conversation/date/phone number/sexual rendezvous.
I've also seen a young tearaway at a school get decked by a wee lass much smaller than him - she went to judo classes. She was only 7 and the lad was 11 ! The lad never tries it on now - with anyone!
It's a good idea, more for fitness than anything. It's especially useful for women, I think it's more likely a guy on his own may attack a woman. If a guy is attacked, it's usually by a bigger group and no amount of self defence classes can get you through that unfortunately.
I don't know what it is about those woods but I just don't feel comfortable there. I'm happy to go for walks alone in town though. Lots of cars driving past makes you feel safer.
I'm not a particularly nervous person and nothing bad (like mugging) has ever happened to me. I used to quite happily walk through Lambeth on my own when I lived in London. But some places really don't feel safe for a woman - not sure whether it's rational or not.
I have also done the same in less rural areas.
I do not live with any sort of fear that something will happen to me if out alone.
My sister however would not do the same as me and thinks I am foolish to walk alone.
I remind myself that the majority of women are attacked by their partners/ men they know rather than random blokes off the street.
In the same way as noone can or would want to ever leave their home unlocked due to people wanting to break in, and steal their possessions.
I'm lucky to live in a place where I never feel fearful about walking alone by myself, but in other places I've thought twice about walking alone, because it was very rough.
It's the same when someone (normally a woman) would think twice about getting on in an empty carriage on a train if there was only one man sitting on it. Maybe it would be perfectly safe, but the fact is, noone knows now these days do they?
However, I do feel a little vulnerable, and have had my fair share of weirdos approach me (all of them men as it happens...!).
Picture this: I'm walking down a public footpath at night, which has street lights on it, but has trees and fences either side of the path; it's not open. There's a man in a hoody just standing there beside the fence. I feel a bit apprehensive, but think I'm just being silly. I carry on walking, determined not to make eye contact, and he stops me as I walk past. He seems a bit unsteady, like he's been drinking, and asks me whether I know a particular person, which I don't. I say I don't, and carry on walking. He follows me, then shouts from behind asking me whether I have blonde hair. I ignore him, but he runs up to me, and says he likes girls with blonde hair, especially natural blondes, and asked whether I was a natural blonde.
I'm starting to get really freaked out and tell him to leave me alone. He asks me if I have a phone on me, so I say no. He then asks me whether I can lend him any money. I say no. Then thankfully, we reach the end of the path, and go onto a housing estate where there are other people around. He then retreats back to the path and probably lingers around waiting for someone else to come by.
That's an extreme example, but I've been flashed at, and approached by a few strange men. They may just be being friendly (apart from the flashers of course), but you just don't know. It's the vulnerability aspect that puts a lot of women off.
I know women are capable of being weirdos too, but I've only experienced it from men. Couple the werido factor with the statistcs - the vast majority of violent crime is committed by men - it's easy to see why some women feel vulnerable.
I walked past a man carrying a crow bar last year, and wondered if he was up to no good. Again, I felt vulnerable when I walked past him, and made no eye contact.
Not being stereotyopical about men in hoodies, but they can look a bit menacing sometimes at night, walking with their head down. My dog is also wary of them, even though they may well be lovely people!
I would be more wary about walking alone in towns and cities, though. Although my sister lives in North London and I'm not scared there.
Personally,the only place I don't really feel comfortable is Glasgow city centre. I'm a night owl and I'm quite happy to go a wander very late either with the dogs or alone without a fear hanging over.
one of my friends flew up there for a blind date [long story] a few years ago, didn`t click on with the fella and went out clubbing on her own instead.
But when I was younger, I used to go where I wanted, when I wanted and really enjoyed a lone ramble about the countrysides. I often walked home from clubs at 3 in the morning, sometimes taking shortcuts through dark fields.
I was only really scared once, when walking home alone in the early hours and I noticed a very drunk man come staggering up the road behind me, the faster I walked, the faster he staggered closer. Then he started running
I crossed to the other side of the road and as he got near to me, he shouted out, "Don't worry love, you're safe, I'm just dying to get home for a sh*t" and ran past me
I think it's quite sad anyone would think that, often I have chats with men women or even children, I am often walking my dogs or walking home from work at the time, I have never felt worried about doing so because despite media etc most people are perfectly safe. It's really only a rare person you need to worry about and honestly if we change how we act just because of the very rare one who means us harm we miss a heck of a lot of very nice people and places and they have rather won.
I can't really imagine a situation where I'd find myself thinking "Well, it'll be fine for me to be out and about here but it'd be really risky for a woman".
I live in hill walking country and It's rare to see a single female backpacker.
Generally men prefer the lone wolf role.
this one does and it`s very frustrating to have to choose your area carefully for the reasons in the op.