Playing poker, we both play in local pubs and clubs about twice a week
Apart from that, not a lot to be honest
We don't like the same music, the same tv, I like pubs and going out, she doesn't
I like current affairs/politics, she hates them
Thinking about it, I'm a grade A mug,
Thanks all again for opening my eyes
Sounds like you've been playing the long odds and coming up on the losing end, to borrow a gambling term.
It honestly sounds like you were what each other needed in the short term but not the long term. You both provided each other with a sense of validation of your attractiveness, good qualities and satisfied your libidos. However you both have different priorities and you are now slipping into passionless monotony.
Now you seem to be becoming the put upon surrogate father figure and are no longer viewed as a boyfriend with his own needs, you are just a guy she keeps around because she is lonely, she needs someone to care for the kids while she is on her laptop and you're not even being compensated for your troubles, despite the effort you are making.
If she wants support, that's what female friends are for. If she wants people to rely on, that's what family are for. If she doesn't want someone she can treat as an equal but instead a live in babysitter that helps pay the way, then she can always rent out a room to a lodger and have some occasional company and a bit of extra money that way. If you're just being kept as company because her kids have left, that's already a little weird if you're going from being treated like a lover to treated like a surrogate son who she only shows basic affection towards, someone she can make hollow promises to because she's the one dictating the rules of the house, even as they apply to you, a grown man who should be involved in agreeing on those rules and more or less be above them to the same degree she is. If she has depression, she needs to seek help and badgering her given your current situation will only lead to more arguments and the feeling you are trying to bully her into getting treatment "just because I won't give you what you want" and will create even more resentment between you. Unless she seeks the help for herself, she will likely resist it and in turn feel the need to "punish" you for trying to make her change against her will.
Give her space and try get on with your own life. If she wants you back and is willing to be reasonable towards you, then she will do that. If not, I would suggest speed dating given your current age.
Honestly, her daughter seems to get treated far better than you do with a lot more consideration. I think it's clear she loves her daughter and tolerates your presence for the benefits you provide.
As for her not getting you nice things but sayin "I would if I could", is the concept of savings abstract to her? The truth of that statement is "I could if I wanted but I won't because I don't." Honestly, staying in a loveless relationship with someone who is turning into an internet addicted hobo doesn't sound like the path to a successful life or possible marriage. You're spending your time, money and affection on an entire family and seemingly getting nothing in return aside from an occasional thank you. That sounds like you're part of a volunteer workforce or childcare service, not a boyfriend.
Ask yourself, where do you see the relationship in 6 months/1 year/5 years? Because living day to day is fine but if you're choosing a life of getting by rather than getting what you want, that seems a little sad since it is apparent you have love and passion left in you to give, it's just not going to be taken or appreciated in your current situation.
Betty, I ain't ignoring it, everyone's advice is great, honestly.
I'm just a bit down that's all, you know, been near 2 and a years and the realisation is hitting m finally
I've been like it in the past of trying to cling on to relationships when in other people's eyes they're over
You need to get better self esteem yourself. You are worth more than just putting up with someone.
Northcroft you need to move on to better things. Join a dating site online there are plenty of sex hungry women on these sites. I joined one last year and met up with a sexy babe in a hotel, best sex I have had for a long time and no strings attached. Put yourself out there instead of wasting your time on someone who obviously does not have the same sex drive as you.
Man the F'up...It's clear (going by your own words) you're there as a convienance as and when it suits her.
We can sit here and stroke your head telling you she's a big bad wolf, you deserve better, you're a saint etc....but until you pull your finger out and reach that conclusion yourself that you need to leave, then we're basically giving you an ego stroke. Dare I say it you seem almost happy to revel in the misery, we don't need a running commentary of your sex life or the current night's aggro...
The reasons she treats you like dirt is because you're happy to go along with and play the victim. Sort it out and leave, it's more cowardly to stay then it is to face the big wide world on your own.
You'll be fine but you don't need anyones help in here, only you can help yourself.
What an absolute nightmare this woman is! The lack of hygiene, never mind the lack of sex, would be enough to ditch this horror for most men. She sounds incredibly selfish controlling and a massive slob. I would get out of their while you can and never look back.
I dont get some people, your both clearly unhappy why the hell are you still together? Its not like your married or have kids there is absolutely nothing stopping you meeting someone who will love you more than she does.
Thanks again, I'm leaving this next weekend, I've made my mind up at last lol
Today the schools shut so we been taking her daughter sledging
I ran her down 2 hills, then we went somewhere else and halfway down that hill my partner was pulling the sledge, she stopped and had a **** leaving her daughter laying there
I said "that's good, stopping for a **** halfway down"
To which I get the reply "have another go at me as always, we don't get on this is wrong"
I hate arguing in front of her daughter so I bit my tongue, 1 minute later she was talking to me as if she'd never said anything
Can't handle it any more, her daughter goes back Thursday night, I play poker that night and work on Friday so I shall sit down on Friday night or Saturday and say I can't take it any more
A lack of personal hygiene is a symptom of numerous mental health problems.
I think she's depressed. Depression can manifest in all sorts of ways, but loss of libido and self-neglect are both classic symptoms. So is sleeping a lot (although insomnia can also be present).
Has she got a close friend that you think might be willing to talk to you? If she has, I'd just tell the friend you're worried about her and see what response you get.
I'd also back off the sex and not try and initiate it for a while. It could be making her feel pressurised, or guilty, both of which will make her even more low. Non-sexual physical contact will become more welcome once she doesn't feel that it will inevitably lead to sexual advances. Once she's comfortable with cuddling, stroking etc, she may start to feel more like sex.
Thanks again, I'm leaving this next weekend, I've made my mind up at last lol
Today the schools shut so we been taking her daughter sledging
I ran her down 2 hills, then we went somewhere else and halfway down that hill my partner was pulling the sledge, she stopped and had a **** leaving her daughter laying there
I said "that's good, stopping for a **** halfway down"
To which I get the reply "have another go at me as always, we don't get on this is wrong"
I hate arguing in front of her daughter so I bit my tongue, 1 minute later she was talking to me as if she'd never said anything
Can't handle it any more, her daughter goes back Thursday night, I play poker that night and work on Friday so I shall sit down on Friday night or Saturday and say I can't take it any more
Good for you! I really hope you will find someone who will love and appreciate you back. You deserve so much more than what this woman is giving you.
And i dont care if she is depressed! She has no right making someone elses life a complete misery and her partner will end up depressed if he continues living like this. She is a selfish cow and will hopefully regret what she has done and will change for the better
I think she's depressed. Depression can manifest in all sorts of ways, but loss of libido and self-neglect are both classic symptoms. So is sleeping a lot (although insomnia can also be present).
Has she got a close friend that you think might be willing to talk to you? If she has, I'd just tell the friend you're worried about her and see what response you get.
I'd also back off the sex and not try and initiate it for a while. It could be making her feel pressurised, or guilty, both of which will make her even more low. Non-sexual physical contact will become more welcome once she doesn't feel that it will inevitably lead to sexual advances. Once she's comfortable with cuddling, stroking etc, she may start to feel more like sex.
She hasn't got any friends lol, she used to have a close friend when I first met her, but she moved to Sudbury (10 miles away) and she's seen her once in the last 18 months
The closest friend would be this bloke she talks to at poker and on fb but I know she doesn't talk about stuff like that
I know deep down that's the root of it. She's deeply unhappy and won't allow anyone in. Her daughter here is her world but she even pushes her away sometimes
But, I've given it 18 months, I've tried my best and things aren't changing and they won't change
She's on the laptop now while her daughter sits by my side, I'm typing this on the phone
She screamed at me not to let the cat in as she has dirty paws just now, I shook my head and sighed. Another manifest of her emetephobia
I ramble lol, but I reckon if I brought another woman back she wouldn't care
Thanks again, I'm leaving this next weekend, I've made my mind up at last lol
Today the schools shut so we been taking her daughter sledging
I ran her down 2 hills, then we went somewhere else and halfway down that hill my partner was pulling the sledge, she stopped and had a **** leaving her daughter laying there
I said "that's good, stopping for a **** halfway down"
To which I get the reply "have another go at me as always, we don't get on this is wrong"
I hate arguing in front of her daughter so I bit my tongue, 1 minute later she was talking to me as if she'd never said anything
Can't handle it any more, her daughter goes back Thursday night, I play poker that night and work on Friday so I shall sit down on Friday night or Saturday and say I can't take it any more
Again.....man the f'up and leave, saying you're going to wait until the end of the week is tosh, that's just not going to happen and you know it. If you were genuinely serious about leaving you'd be out the door today. I honestly think you're one of these people that is 'happy being sad' and enjoys the martyr status.
I don't understand what advice you've come on here for as I've seen you ignore post after post and only selectively responding. Whinging to a bunch of strangers might make you feel better but it'll do sweet fa to sort your relationship out. She'd probably think more of you if you grew a spine and stood up for yourself.
I might be coming across the 'mean bitch' in the thread but I've been in EXACTLY the same situation as you. Blindly pursuing a dead relationship is stupid and it's mostly done because people are too cowardly to pull their finger out and move on from it. I was weak before in the past and let someone walk all over me, I completely ignored all the good advice given by family, friends, for the better part of 5 years. I only 'woke up' to the severity when I let go inside of the relationship and plucked up the courage to go it alone.
She hasn't got any friends lol, she used to have a close friend when I first met her, but she moved to Sudbury (10 miles away) and she's seen her once in the last 18 months
The closest friend would be this bloke she talks to at poker and on fb but I know she doesn't talk about stuff like that
I know deep down that's the root of it. She's deeply unhappy and won't allow anyone in. Her daughter here is her world but she even pushes her away sometimes
But, I've given it 18 months, I've tried my best and things aren't changing and they won't change
She's on the laptop now while her daughter sits by my side, I'm typing this on the phone
She screamed at me not to let the cat in as she has dirty paws just now, I shook my head and sighed. Another manifest of her emetephobia
I ramble lol, but I reckon if I brought another woman back she wouldn't care
Stop moaning about her on a website and get out!
Better still let her read this and she might change ... then again she will probably kick you out, which might give you the incentive to start a fresh!
Good for you! I really hope you will find someone who will love and appreciate you back. You deserve so much more than what this woman is giving you.
And i dont care if she is depressed! She has no right making someone elses life a complete misery and her partner will end up depressed if he continues living like this. She is a selfish cow and will hopefully regret what she has done and will change for the better
If she's depressed then it's not a choice she's made, and she's probably only dimly aware of the effect her behaviour is having on Northcroft. Depressed people are often very selfish in that all they can think about is themselves - that's because of the illness, not a fundamental part of their personality. Although naturally selfish people can also become depressed!
You don't want to leave, it's all just talk to make you come across in control. Actions speak far more than words....
You would need a snow plough to get out of my road at the moment but if I really wanted to leave I would pack a small overnight bag and leg it to a local hotel. I would leave her a "Dear John" letter btw so she knew I had gone. I would then return for my car and my other belongings once the snow had cleared. Mind you if she is mentally ill she might destroy his clothes and car which is a worrying thought. Anyhoo let see what happens, I like a good soap opera.
You would need a snow plough to get out of my road at the moment but if I really wanted to leave I would pack a small overnight bag and leg it to a local hotel. I would leave her a "Dear John" letter btw so she knew I had gone. I would then return for my car and my other belongings once the snow had cleared. Mind you if she is mentally ill she might destroy his clothes and car which is a worrying thought. Anyhoo let see what happens, I like a good soap opera.
She's bound to go spitz and that's probably another reason why the OP wouldn't have the nerve to see it through to the end. Worrying about all those nasty things she'd tell friends etc....
Reading through this it's quite obviously she's deeply depressed but it sounds like neither of you have bothered to address any of these issues and try work a solution. If you really want to leave her you don't book it in your diary, you just do it. Personally, I think you should raise the issue of depression and follow through with a workable solution because she's not going to magic herself better or have an epiphany - and also, stand up to her if she's being a cow - depression or not it's not acceptable for her to say or command some of the things she's been doing.
Better still let her read this and she might change ... then again she will probably kick you out, which might give you the incentive to start a fresh!
Or she'll sign up, and give us her version of events;)
You would need a snow plough to get out of my road at the moment but if I really wanted to leave I would pack a small overnight bag and leg it to a local hotel. I would leave her a "Dear John" letter btw so she knew I had gone. I would then return for my car and my other belongings once the snow had cleared. Mind you if she is mentally ill she might destroy his clothes and car which is a worrying thought. Anyhoo let see what happens, I like a good soap opera.
He's just fed up because his slob of a partner snaps at him, and won't have sex with him. He's not in fear for his life...
He should take his time and get organised first, and arrange somewhere else to stay. A clean break woudl be the best thing.
He's just fed up because his slob of a partner snaps at him, and won't have sex with him. He's not in fear for his life...
He should take his time and get organised first, and arrange somewhere else to stay. A clean break woudl be the best thing.
I agree it's hardly life threatening etc.....But, if the OP was serious about leaving as he's finding it unbearable, he'd be out the door to somewhere temporary whilst sorting out something more long term. By dragging it out and saying i'll leave on X day can make it much harder to carry it through when it comes to it, a few nights sleeping on it and things don't seem so bad, it's very easy to think..'I'll see how it goes'.....3 years down the line you're still in the same position. The OP might deep down harbour hope for this woman and the shock of him leaving might snap her out it and sort herself out, dawdling around for days with a will i/won't I attitude waters down the seriousness of the OP's feeling in her eyes (imo).
I'd be out the door to a friends/family/hotel etc...
Reason I picked up on the OP saying it's the snow holding him back is that it's all about signals, actions speak a lot louder than words. If I was 'that' unhappy (as the op continually tells us) I wouldn't let a few inches of snow stop me.
really dont like how this thread has gone, no one on here knows this woman, she might not actually be a nightmare or a selfish cow, she may be unwell and depression is not a selfish illness, plenty of people get it from circumstances beyond their control, they just cant cope, that is quite a common reason to get it, split up then if thats the right thing to do.
really dont like how this thread has gone, no one on here knows this woman, she might not actually be a nightmare or a selfish cow, she may be unwell and depression is not a selfish illness, plenty of people get it from circumstances beyond their control, they just cant cope, that is quite a common reason to get it, split up then if thats the right thing to do.
As I've said, I can't handle it no more
That's the root cause of it, I've suggested anti D's, but a side effect is nausea and with her emetophobia she can't take them
We couldn't afford therapy of any kind, and she did hypnotherapy years back to give up smoking and it didn't work so shes anti that
Tonight was a nightmare again, her daughter has the telly on all night, on what she wants to watch, while my partners on the laptop and I'm reading
If I put telly onto a programme I want, the daughter will go odd in getting toys out every 2 minutes, creating havoc so I think screw it, have what you want on
They went to bed at 9.45, I think this is too late for a 7 year old myself, when she's round her fathers she has an 8pm bedtime, and I can tell she's tired around 8 as she's grouchy but her mother keeps her up
Anyway, as the cats not allowed indoors or in the front room, my house my rules again, they went upstairs to bed and I immediately went and got the cats bowl in from outside, the cat came with me into the kitchen and I gave her a pouch of food and some biscuits.
Straight away my partner came clumping downstairs into the kitchen as I was filling the cats bowl
"You're not letting her in the front room are you? I don't want her in there" she said
"I'm feeding her, then getting her litter tray in here as usual" I said
My partner goes back upstairs.
I get a drink from the fridge, just an orange juice, then go to the toilet, all takes 3 minutes, then open the front door and get the litter tray, empty it into a bag there and fill with fresh litter and come in
Take it into the kitchen and I hear the stairs again
"What are you doing? I'm trying to settle my daughter, can't you be quieter? She's got school in the morning"
I say "Wow you've only been upstairs 5 minutes, and I'm done here now"
She storms off and I say "Don't worry, you won't have to put up with it much longer"
She says "good" from halfway up the stairs and goes into her bedroom
And that was 3 hours ago.
Sorry for rambling on again, but I find this good to get off my chest as it were
I know too, I'm a clown for putting up with it, and I guarantee when I get up tomorrow at 8 it'll be "Hello, how are you?" from her, and if I look angry or grumpy i get "what's up with you?", I usually say about the night before and it triggers it off and she says if you're not happy then go
But, and I mean this, her calling my bluff time after time is just about running out, as I'm not happy and I am going
Comments
Sounds like you've been playing the long odds and coming up on the losing end, to borrow a gambling term.
It honestly sounds like you were what each other needed in the short term but not the long term. You both provided each other with a sense of validation of your attractiveness, good qualities and satisfied your libidos. However you both have different priorities and you are now slipping into passionless monotony.
Now you seem to be becoming the put upon surrogate father figure and are no longer viewed as a boyfriend with his own needs, you are just a guy she keeps around because she is lonely, she needs someone to care for the kids while she is on her laptop and you're not even being compensated for your troubles, despite the effort you are making.
If she wants support, that's what female friends are for. If she wants people to rely on, that's what family are for. If she doesn't want someone she can treat as an equal but instead a live in babysitter that helps pay the way, then she can always rent out a room to a lodger and have some occasional company and a bit of extra money that way. If you're just being kept as company because her kids have left, that's already a little weird if you're going from being treated like a lover to treated like a surrogate son who she only shows basic affection towards, someone she can make hollow promises to because she's the one dictating the rules of the house, even as they apply to you, a grown man who should be involved in agreeing on those rules and more or less be above them to the same degree she is. If she has depression, she needs to seek help and badgering her given your current situation will only lead to more arguments and the feeling you are trying to bully her into getting treatment "just because I won't give you what you want" and will create even more resentment between you. Unless she seeks the help for herself, she will likely resist it and in turn feel the need to "punish" you for trying to make her change against her will.
Give her space and try get on with your own life. If she wants you back and is willing to be reasonable towards you, then she will do that. If not, I would suggest speed dating given your current age.
Honestly, her daughter seems to get treated far better than you do with a lot more consideration. I think it's clear she loves her daughter and tolerates your presence for the benefits you provide.
As for her not getting you nice things but sayin "I would if I could", is the concept of savings abstract to her? The truth of that statement is "I could if I wanted but I won't because I don't." Honestly, staying in a loveless relationship with someone who is turning into an internet addicted hobo doesn't sound like the path to a successful life or possible marriage. You're spending your time, money and affection on an entire family and seemingly getting nothing in return aside from an occasional thank you. That sounds like you're part of a volunteer workforce or childcare service, not a boyfriend.
Ask yourself, where do you see the relationship in 6 months/1 year/5 years? Because living day to day is fine but if you're choosing a life of getting by rather than getting what you want, that seems a little sad since it is apparent you have love and passion left in you to give, it's just not going to be taken or appreciated in your current situation.
You need to get better self esteem yourself. You are worth more than just putting up with someone.
Sounds more like you're a bit oblivious to those obvious signals she's giving you.
Good luck
Jonny
You are coming across like a martyr now. You have chosen to stay in this relationship so you are choosing the cold room.
We can sit here and stroke your head telling you she's a big bad wolf, you deserve better, you're a saint etc....but until you pull your finger out and reach that conclusion yourself that you need to leave, then we're basically giving you an ego stroke. Dare I say it you seem almost happy to revel in the misery, we don't need a running commentary of your sex life or the current night's aggro...
The reasons she treats you like dirt is because you're happy to go along with and play the victim. Sort it out and leave, it's more cowardly to stay then it is to face the big wide world on your own.
You'll be fine but you don't need anyones help in here, only you can help yourself.
I dont get some people, your both clearly unhappy why the hell are you still together? Its not like your married or have kids there is absolutely nothing stopping you meeting someone who will love you more than she does.
Today the schools shut so we been taking her daughter sledging
I ran her down 2 hills, then we went somewhere else and halfway down that hill my partner was pulling the sledge, she stopped and had a **** leaving her daughter laying there
I said "that's good, stopping for a **** halfway down"
To which I get the reply "have another go at me as always, we don't get on this is wrong"
I hate arguing in front of her daughter so I bit my tongue, 1 minute later she was talking to me as if she'd never said anything
Can't handle it any more, her daughter goes back Thursday night, I play poker that night and work on Friday so I shall sit down on Friday night or Saturday and say I can't take it any more
I think she's depressed. Depression can manifest in all sorts of ways, but loss of libido and self-neglect are both classic symptoms. So is sleeping a lot (although insomnia can also be present).
Has she got a close friend that you think might be willing to talk to you? If she has, I'd just tell the friend you're worried about her and see what response you get.
I'd also back off the sex and not try and initiate it for a while. It could be making her feel pressurised, or guilty, both of which will make her even more low. Non-sexual physical contact will become more welcome once she doesn't feel that it will inevitably lead to sexual advances. Once she's comfortable with cuddling, stroking etc, she may start to feel more like sex.
Good for you! I really hope you will find someone who will love and appreciate you back. You deserve so much more than what this woman is giving you.
And i dont care if she is depressed! She has no right making someone elses life a complete misery and her partner will end up depressed if he continues living like this. She is a selfish cow and will hopefully regret what she has done and will change for the better
She hasn't got any friends lol, she used to have a close friend when I first met her, but she moved to Sudbury (10 miles away) and she's seen her once in the last 18 months
The closest friend would be this bloke she talks to at poker and on fb but I know she doesn't talk about stuff like that
I know deep down that's the root of it. She's deeply unhappy and won't allow anyone in. Her daughter here is her world but she even pushes her away sometimes
But, I've given it 18 months, I've tried my best and things aren't changing and they won't change
She's on the laptop now while her daughter sits by my side, I'm typing this on the phone
She screamed at me not to let the cat in as she has dirty paws just now, I shook my head and sighed. Another manifest of her emetephobia
I ramble lol, but I reckon if I brought another woman back she wouldn't care
Again.....man the f'up and leave, saying you're going to wait until the end of the week is tosh, that's just not going to happen and you know it. If you were genuinely serious about leaving you'd be out the door today. I honestly think you're one of these people that is 'happy being sad' and enjoys the martyr status.
I don't understand what advice you've come on here for as I've seen you ignore post after post and only selectively responding. Whinging to a bunch of strangers might make you feel better but it'll do sweet fa to sort your relationship out. She'd probably think more of you if you grew a spine and stood up for yourself.
I might be coming across the 'mean bitch' in the thread but I've been in EXACTLY the same situation as you. Blindly pursuing a dead relationship is stupid and it's mostly done because people are too cowardly to pull their finger out and move on from it. I was weak before in the past and let someone walk all over me, I completely ignored all the good advice given by family, friends, for the better part of 5 years. I only 'woke up' to the severity when I let go inside of the relationship and plucked up the courage to go it alone.
Stop moaning about her on a website and get out!
Better still let her read this and she might change ... then again she will probably kick you out, which might give you the incentive to start a fresh!
I'm not leaving now cos of 8 inches of snow and I can't get out the driveway, but the weekend it is
I bet you £5 you will still be here next week lol
If she's depressed then it's not a choice she's made, and she's probably only dimly aware of the effect her behaviour is having on Northcroft. Depressed people are often very selfish in that all they can think about is themselves - that's because of the illness, not a fundamental part of their personality. Although naturally selfish people can also become depressed!
Nothing a shovel couldn't solve....
You don't want to leave, it's all just talk to make you come across in control. Actions speak far more than words....
You would need a snow plough to get out of my road at the moment but if I really wanted to leave I would pack a small overnight bag and leg it to a local hotel. I would leave her a "Dear John" letter btw so she knew I had gone. I would then return for my car and my other belongings once the snow had cleared. Mind you if she is mentally ill she might destroy his clothes and car which is a worrying thought. Anyhoo let see what happens, I like a good soap opera.
She's bound to go spitz and that's probably another reason why the OP wouldn't have the nerve to see it through to the end. Worrying about all those nasty things she'd tell friends etc....
Or she'll sign up, and give us her version of events;)
He's just fed up because his slob of a partner snaps at him, and won't have sex with him. He's not in fear for his life...
He should take his time and get organised first, and arrange somewhere else to stay. A clean break woudl be the best thing.
I agree it's hardly life threatening etc.....But, if the OP was serious about leaving as he's finding it unbearable, he'd be out the door to somewhere temporary whilst sorting out something more long term. By dragging it out and saying i'll leave on X day can make it much harder to carry it through when it comes to it, a few nights sleeping on it and things don't seem so bad, it's very easy to think..'I'll see how it goes'.....3 years down the line you're still in the same position. The OP might deep down harbour hope for this woman and the shock of him leaving might snap her out it and sort herself out, dawdling around for days with a will i/won't I attitude waters down the seriousness of the OP's feeling in her eyes (imo).
I'd be out the door to a friends/family/hotel etc...
Reason I picked up on the OP saying it's the snow holding him back is that it's all about signals, actions speak a lot louder than words. If I was 'that' unhappy (as the op continually tells us) I wouldn't let a few inches of snow stop me.
As I've said, I can't handle it no more
That's the root cause of it, I've suggested anti D's, but a side effect is nausea and with her emetophobia she can't take them
We couldn't afford therapy of any kind, and she did hypnotherapy years back to give up smoking and it didn't work so shes anti that
Tonight was a nightmare again, her daughter has the telly on all night, on what she wants to watch, while my partners on the laptop and I'm reading
If I put telly onto a programme I want, the daughter will go odd in getting toys out every 2 minutes, creating havoc so I think screw it, have what you want on
They went to bed at 9.45, I think this is too late for a 7 year old myself, when she's round her fathers she has an 8pm bedtime, and I can tell she's tired around 8 as she's grouchy but her mother keeps her up
Anyway, as the cats not allowed indoors or in the front room, my house my rules again, they went upstairs to bed and I immediately went and got the cats bowl in from outside, the cat came with me into the kitchen and I gave her a pouch of food and some biscuits.
Straight away my partner came clumping downstairs into the kitchen as I was filling the cats bowl
"You're not letting her in the front room are you? I don't want her in there" she said
"I'm feeding her, then getting her litter tray in here as usual" I said
My partner goes back upstairs.
I get a drink from the fridge, just an orange juice, then go to the toilet, all takes 3 minutes, then open the front door and get the litter tray, empty it into a bag there and fill with fresh litter and come in
Take it into the kitchen and I hear the stairs again
"What are you doing? I'm trying to settle my daughter, can't you be quieter? She's got school in the morning"
I say "Wow you've only been upstairs 5 minutes, and I'm done here now"
She storms off and I say "Don't worry, you won't have to put up with it much longer"
She says "good" from halfway up the stairs and goes into her bedroom
And that was 3 hours ago.
Sorry for rambling on again, but I find this good to get off my chest as it were
I know too, I'm a clown for putting up with it, and I guarantee when I get up tomorrow at 8 it'll be "Hello, how are you?" from her, and if I look angry or grumpy i get "what's up with you?", I usually say about the night before and it triggers it off and she says if you're not happy then go
But, and I mean this, her calling my bluff time after time is just about running out, as I'm not happy and I am going