Unrequited Love
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This is so hard, I have fallen head over heels for a bloke, he's about 4 years older than me and my perfect man, the problem is he's dating another bloke at the moment and has been for about 5 months now, he classes their relationship as 'complicated' and has told others they are just having fun and he's not marriage material etc, the bloke is 20 years younger than him too.
Now over the past 3 months I have grown close to them both, spend a lot of time with them, staying at this blokes house, meals out, theatre etc, we are all off to Dublin in March (with several others) but I am finding it so hard as I love him yet know I can't be with him, I don't want to tell him as I don't want to ruin our friendship either or hurt the other guy (who incidentally is known to cheat, he was kissing other blokes recently when his partner was away).
Anyone else been in a situation like this? I have no idea if he even fancies me anyway, he thinks I am a lovely guy although I know he likes 'bigger' blokes (his current boyfriend is my size though). I've tried gentle flirting and compliments but he usually then mentions his BF at some point which is a bad sign?
Now over the past 3 months I have grown close to them both, spend a lot of time with them, staying at this blokes house, meals out, theatre etc, we are all off to Dublin in March (with several others) but I am finding it so hard as I love him yet know I can't be with him, I don't want to tell him as I don't want to ruin our friendship either or hurt the other guy (who incidentally is known to cheat, he was kissing other blokes recently when his partner was away).
Anyone else been in a situation like this? I have no idea if he even fancies me anyway, he thinks I am a lovely guy although I know he likes 'bigger' blokes (his current boyfriend is my size though). I've tried gentle flirting and compliments but he usually then mentions his BF at some point which is a bad sign?
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Yes it is. Stop staying over at his place and torturing yourself. It's ridiculous.
It's not that often, just when we have big nights out and stuff, maybe I am just focusing my attention on him as I've just come out of a long term relationship myself and my feelings are confused. I'll be OK, just need to refocus.
And anyway, if you did ultimately get together, what are you going to do if you find out he's got all sorts of horrible habits ?
What if he's a farter ?
Seriously though, the best thing you can do is withdraw slightly and try and expand your social circle to see if you can meet someone else. Hanging on to the hope that he'll split up with his boyfriend and you'll come swooping in to save him really isn't going to do you any favours and will most likely mean you're going to be miserable for a long time.
In a nutshell I think, good advice x
Yes you do. Look after yourself and stop fuelling your infatuation with stop overs. It's not healthy for anyone or any of those relationships aforementioned. Look no further than JWs advice.
Yes, I'm sure nearly everyone has been in a situation like this, and I'm sure we all have the same advice. Jason Watkins has pretty much said what everyone else will say so no need for me to add anything. Take his advice.